Animals & Us
Missy's Second Chance: How a Rescue Dog Taught Me to Love Again
Michael De Haan
Michael learned to live again by showing up for a traumatised rescue dog, and in doing so, learned to love himself.
Kintsugi Studio
Animals & Us
Michael De Haan
Michael learned to live again by showing up for a traumatised rescue dog, and in doing so, learned to love himself.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Michael De Haan was 16 when his twin sister Jenny told him she had been sexually abused by their father. What followed was decades of silence, panic attacks, chronic depression, and a darkness so complete he couldn't stay still. He walked the streets at night so people wouldn't see him. He was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer and found it a relief, a socially acceptable way out. Then he met a woman who studied psychology and didn't give up on him. She showed him that small things, the ones that bring joy, matter more than he understood. She showed him he wasn't broken.
About 10 years ago, Michael and his wife adopted Missy, a Staffy Shar-Pei rescue dog who had been on death row twice and was raised to fight. When a dog behaviorist came to help, he said something that shifted everything: he wasn't there to talk about the dog, but about Michael. Missy needed love, trust, and to feel safe.
In caring for Missy, Michael found the chance to do what he couldn't do for Jenny: to show up, to be strong, to set boundaries that create safety. He learned that he couldn't give love to the dog unless he was willing to love himself first. Missy taught him to meet animals where they actually are, not where he thought they should be. Most of all, she showed him what unconditional love looks like. Today, Michael works as a financial abuse specialist, helping women escape coercive control. He has authored a book on financial abuse. His final message is simple: depression lives in the past. Healing happens when you move into the present moment.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
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