Grit Diaries
Michael De Haan · 33 min
A financial abuse ambassador reveals how surviving a childhood of coercive control and the tragic loss of his twin sister drove him to dedicate his career to protecting the 1.6 million Australian women affected by financial abuse.
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Michael De Haan grew up in a home where fear was the constant. His father, tall and strong, came home each night from his second job full of rage, verbally abusing Michael's mother while the children hid with pillows over their heads. Michael learned early that staying quiet and pleasing kept him safe. His twin sister Jenny took a different path. When she was 13, she told Michael she had been raped by their father. At 18, after years of struggling with drugs, alcohol, and a failed suicide attempt at 17, Jenny took her own life. The family swept her death under the carpet. Michael carried that loss and trauma in silence for over 30 years.
Without a voice to speak his pain, Michael's body began to scream. He developed panic attacks, anxiety, chronic depression, and aggressive prostate cancer. At 49, he was walking a tightrope. He could not take his own life because of the impact on others, but he could not live either. He was caught in complete darkness until a woman he met online saw his light and got him talking for the first time. As he spoke on his Women's Empowerment Series podcast, listening to women's stories of coercive control, he began to understand his purpose.
Today, Michael is Australia's Financial Abuse Ambassador. He discovered that 1.6 million Australian women experience financial abuse, and that it is the precursor to sexual abuse and violence in over 90% of cases. The financial planners, brokers, and accountants who interact with these women often do not know the red flags. Michael's work is focused on educating these gatekeepers and holding government accountable for the 61 unimplemented recommendations designed to stop financial abuse at its source. His book holds his vulnerabilities. Two lessons anchor his work: feeling broken is not the same as being broken, and the past does not define you.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses domestic & family violence and suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
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