Animals & Us
The Girl in the Bathroom: How a Chihuahua Saved My Life
Rachel McDermott
Rachel survived childhood abuse and her best friend's death at 11. A Chihuahua named Roxy kept her alive when she couldn't breathe.
Kintsugi Studio
Animals & Us
Rachel McDermott
Rachel survived childhood abuse and her best friend's death at 11. A Chihuahua named Roxy kept her alive when she couldn't breathe.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Rachel McDermott grew up in a home that looked perfect from the outside, but held deep pain. From early childhood, she endured sexual abuse and grooming by a family member. Then, when she was nearly 12, her best friend died from a heart attack at school. Rachel watched her friend collapse and held that loss as more traumatic than the abuse itself, because it was sudden and irrevocable. She became a quiet, perfect student on the outside while battling darkness within. By year 11, she was carving "life is pointless" into furniture and struggling with thoughts of suicide. Then her older sister brought home a tiny brown-eyed Chihuahua named Roxy, and everything shifted.
Roxy became Rachel's reason to stay alive. In the bathroom, their refuge with the door locked, Rachel would sit with suffocating darkness closing in. In those moments, Roxy's small nose or lick would ground her back to breath, back to the present. When Rachel later found herself in a controlling, abusive relationship, it was Roxy who gave her the strength to leave. She shielded her dog's body with her own when her partner grew violent, and in protecting Roxy, she found the courage to protect herself. Walking the dogs in the park led her to the man who would become her husband, a kind teacher who saw her and loved her.
Roxy never gave up, even through serious health crises that defied the vets' expectations. She held on because Rachel needed her, and Rachel learned from her dog's persistence that she should not give up either. At nearly 16, as Rachel's life had finally become whole with a husband, a home, and a son, Roxy let go. Rachel held her as the vet came to their home and watched the light leave those brown eyes. Roxy still sits at the front door in her cremation urn. Rachel's son says good morning to her each day. And Rachel, now a marriage celebrant, carries what Roxy taught her into every ceremony: what unconditional love truly is, and why it matters.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation, grief & loss and suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au • 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au • GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au
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