Aus Carers
Caring for a Partner with Dementia and for Yourself with Joe Coppi
Joe Coppi
A husband learns that his own wellbeing is not a luxury-it's the bedrock of good care.
Kintsugi Studio
Aus Carers
Joe Coppi
A husband learns that his own wellbeing is not a luxury-it's the bedrock of good care.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Ten years ago, Joe Coppi's wife Joyce was diagnosed with early onset dementia. His first thought was not despair but strategy: how could they keep living fully, together, for as long as possible? That question has shaped everything since. Joe and Joyce moved to Geelong for easier access, stayed active through travel and shared pursuits, and built a life that didn't stop when the diagnosis arrived. The early years were manageable. Joe kept doing casual IT work, stayed connected to friends, and Joyce remained capable. But as her needs grew, Joe learned something that runs counter to everything carers tell themselves: the most important person in the caring equation is not the person being cared for. It is you.
Joe now manages a structured week of support, with carers coming on specific days and times, which gives him the freedom to row with a veterans crew, volunteer at Sailability teaching kids in wheelchairs, join the Men's Shed, and take time away knowing Joyce is covered. He sought counselling, even when he thought he didn't need it, and found it helped. He tackled the paperwork maze of the NDIS with help from Dementia Australia, rather than trying to navigate it alone. He built systems that make life easier for everyone: a one-page daily routine on the kitchen bench, a diary where carers write notes, photographs of each carer, labels on cupboards and drawers, sensor lights at night. When you make it easier for the carer, the carer gives better care.
Joe speaks plainly: if you do not look after yourself, you cannot look after the person you love. Next year, he and Joyce plan to travel to Italy and Croatia, hoping to walk through the Holy Doors in Rome as they have done every 25 years since 1975. The fracture did not stop them. It changed the shape of their days, but not their purpose.
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