Aus Carers
Monica Benney
Monica resigned from senior management to care full-time, and discovered that her own survival depended on it.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Monica became a full-time carer at 18, newly married with a newborn, when she took on her brother who has a profound intellectual disability. She didn't know what support services existed until she was pregnant with her second child and needed someone to care for him while she gave birth. Over 35 years, she has learned that asking for help is not weakness. It is survival.
Ten years ago, her husband had a high-speed motor vehicle accident. Monica thought adding a third person to care for wouldn't be that different from two. She was wrong. The jump from two to three felt enormous. She balanced caring for three people with completely different needs while working in senior management roles in social work and disability services. Then two years ago, she was critically ill in hospital during COVID, having made arrangements to die while her family fell apart at home. She came through it by setting tiny goals each day, even when a shower left her unable to move for two hours afterwards.
After that, everything shifted. Monica worked with a carer counsellor to clarify what she actually valued. The answer was clear: her family needed her at home more than she needed a paycheck. She resigned from her management role and hasn't looked back. She still has rough days. She still needs support. The difference now is that she lets herself receive it, and she has built a village of other carers who actually understand what it means to have no control over someone else's bad day. That understanding, she says, can only come from lived experience.
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