Karen Humphries · 65 min
Facing Stage 4 cancer and a rare connective tissue disorder that nearly killed her twice, Karen Humphries chose faith over fear and transformed her lifelong suffering into a powerful platform for patient advocacy and community.
Hear this story
Karen Humphries grew up on the move across multiple countries, learning early to adapt to whatever came next. But something was different about her body. Doctors dismissed her slowness to crawl and walk, until her mother pushed for answers. Years later, Karen would learn she had Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a rare connective tissue disorder that affects how her body holds itself together. For decades, she lived undiagnosed, misunderstood, thought to be anorexic when her body couldn't digest food, blamed for struggles that had nothing to do with willpower.
Then came cancer. Stage 4, incurable, the kind that kills most people within six months. Karen chose a different path. Instead of blaming the doctors who hadn't known about her rare conditions, she built a care team of 22 people around her and walked alongside them as a partner in her own care. She spent 10 to 12 hours a week in rehabilitation just to do what most people take for granted. She studied counselling while living with cancer, unpacked her life completely, and learned what actually helps people survive longer. When she was rediagnosed last year with seven new tumors, she faced what she calls the dark corridor, the place where death lived. But as she walked toward it, the darkness transformed into glorious yellow light. She chose faith over fear and decided it was not her time.
Today, Karen lives without thinking about dying. She gardens, goes to church, listens to music at the gym, and sits with her dog in moments of peace. She has learned to love herself, to find joy on a limited income, and to redefine what success means. The gift of her illness, she says, is learning to live.
“I feel that the empowerment is when we can come together with doctors and uh we both sit and we walk together.”
“10 sessions um that we get on the mental health plan is not enough when you lose a part of your body.”
“Faith over fear. That's what I said when I was rediagnosed. I will live with faith over fear. I will live in the flow rather than fight.”
The hero, today
Finding the right care team means knocking on many doors, spending time with doctors to see if their egos can stay off the table, and being willing to educate them about your rare conditions rather than blame them for not knowing. Karen spends 10 to 12 hours a week in rehabilitation to maintain basic functioning that most people take for granted, yet refuses to let this reality define who she is beyond her medical needs. When Karen was rediagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year, she wrote down reasons to live, faced the dark corridor of death, and chose faith over fear, deciding it was not her time. Karen gave up drinking before her cancer diagnosis not because she was sick, but because she was about to become a counsellor and didn't want to be a hypocrite sitting with clients while using substances to avoid her own pain. The gift of her illness has been learning to love herself, returning to the dreams of the 7 to 14-year-old she was, and redefining success as finding joy on a limited income and peace in simple moments rather than status or possessions. Karen advises people to build a care team before crisis strikes by educating themselves on wellbeing, finding a GP who will advocate for them, connecting to people they trust in their community, and practicing creative and nature therapies.
Yes. Karen Humphries is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Finding the right care team means knocking on many doors, spending time with doctors to see if their egos can stay off the table, and being willing to educate them about your rare conditions rather than blame them for not knowing.
Karen spends 10 to 12 hours a week in rehabilitation to maintain basic functioning that most people take for granted, yet refuses to let this reality define who she is beyond her medical needs.
When Karen was rediagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year, she wrote down reasons to live, faced the dark corridor of death, and chose faith over fear, deciding it was not her time.
John Milham (Host) · 00:05
Welcome back to Kintsugi Heroes, helping people tell the stories they need to share so you can find the stories that you need to hear. In this episode, John Millum is joined by Karen Humphreys, an advocate and motivational speaker living with rare cancer and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. She shares her story of growing up with undiagnosed health challenges facing ongoing complex conditions and learning to adapt through frequent changes in her life. She describes how she built a supportive care team, found strength in her community, and learned to work with her doctors rather than against them. Despite many setbacks, Karen continues to create meaning in her life and helps others by sharing her lived experience. Enjoy this episode with Karen Humphreys. So, Kintsugi Heroes listeners, welcome back to Kintsugi Heroes Stories That Matter. And today we have a story of somebody who has got a lot on her plate, but also she has a track record of achieving a lot, right, as a consequence of her circumstance. Almost as Maya Angelou has said, and I've often quoted, if you want to find your purpose, look to your wound. So welcome, Karen Humphreys.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 01:24
Welcome. Thank you, John, for having me.
John Milham (Host) · 01:26
Yeah, well, it's wonderful to have you. What a story, Karen. When I say find your purpose, you are an advocate for cancer and complex cancers. So rare cancers. You're an advocate and motivational speaker and a lived experience speaker of someone who has not just survived and traveled the cancer voyage, but also someone who has, I hate to use the word, what is the word? Chronic conditions, you know, genetic, you know, long, lifelong chronic. I, I just don't like the word chronic, but obviously lifelong conditions, genetic and otherwise. And there's quite a raft of, of physical challenges you've had during your life. But, so Karen, as you sit here and as you're, we invite you to share your story with Kintsugi Heroes. Did you know, little Karen, did she know what was ahead of her?
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Karen gave up drinking before her cancer diagnosis not because she was sick, but because she was about to become a counsellor and didn't want to be a hypocrite sitting with clients while using substances to avoid her own pain.
This conversation includes a childhood of constant movement, a mother who knew something was wrong, living with ehlers-danlos syndrome undiagnosed, building a care team instead of blaming doctors, finding her voice in complex medical care and the colostomy and the shame that followed.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 02:26
Definitely not. But the childhood I had, we were always on the move and I had to learn to adapt to my environment. So having that upbringing allowed me, and also an Irish upbringing as well, because my parents were Irish and I've lived in a war-torn country when I was 19 in Northern island. I feel that that's really given me strength to deal with the things that I've had to deal with in life.
John Milham (Host) · 02:57
So you were born in Ireland or born in—
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 02:59
I was born in England and we came out here as a— I was 5 months old, but I lived in Belfast when I was 19 and I lived in England for 9 years as well in my 30s.
John Milham (Host) · 03:12
Wow.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 03:13
And I traveled to Ireland as well. And I had a beautiful trip there 2 years ago, which was very healing after my first diagnosis of cancer, before I, um, unfortunately relapsed.
John Milham (Host) · 03:26
Right. So you were a, you were a young person, yeah, you had medical conditions, but you didn't really understand or know or realize. So what was that like? Were you just confused? Did you feel like you were different? How did that manifest?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 03:41
I definitely felt like there was something different. Um, my mother took me to a doctor with a mother's intuition, knowing there was something wrong. I didn't, uh, crawl at all. Um, I sat on my bum basically until I was 18 months, and then I walked. And the doctor had said, um, that to my mom, that, look, I've got— she's got brothers and sisters, she's probably just a bit lazy. But Mom knew there was just something not right. So I'd be clumsy, I would fall a lot, I had a lot of gastrointestinal issues with severe vomiting, um, things like that. So, but I was active as well, and I think with the hypermobility, the other condition's called Ehlers-Danlos hypermobility, which is a connective tissue disease.
John Milham (Host) · 04:30
You'll have to slow down on that. It's, um, so it's, it's, you know EDRS, or EDA?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 04:38
They call it EDS, Ehlers-Danlos Hypermobility Syndrome. There are different types. I have the Hypermobility Syndrome, and for me, um, it's mostly been in my gut, but it is in my joints as well. Some people will dislocate 200 times a day. I have, um, so I do my joints, uh, so the connective tissue holds your body and organs together.
John Milham (Host) · 05:04
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 05:04
So unfortunately, with somebody born with, um, this genetic condition, it does not do that. So your body's very vulnerable. So not having— moving around a lot meant that I wasn't actually picked up, and it was another rare disease as well as the rare cancer. So, you know, it, it caused me a lot of issues In my teenage years, especially in my 20s, where I came close to dying— I was 23 years old, I was 24, I'm 43 kilos, I couldn't digest food, um, people thought I was anorexic, and I was no way anorexic. You know, I recently found out that my part of my pancreas was deformed. I have pancreatic enzyme deficiency, um, among so many other comorbidities because of this, um, other condition. So it's now, you know, being a little bit more, um, understood. But I feel because of the rarity of it, you know, it— I was just misdiagnosed, unfortunately. And I'm not blaming any doctor.
John Milham (Host) · 06:13
Why not?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 06:13
Uh, because I feel that the empowerment is when we can come together with doctors and, uh, we both sit and we walk together. Having a rare cancer and another rare condition, my doctors didn't know what to expect my first round of cancer, but I did actually excel through it and I was able to get into remission. Most people do die within 6 months. I'm now nearly 40 months, um, ongoing. I am not in remission. It's incurable, um, but I just don't feel that it's right to blame a doctor I just feel that the power is in educating doctors and, and my doctors. I've got about 22 doctors and allied health people that walk alongside my journey every day.
John Milham (Host) · 07:00
It's a big care team. You need a bus to carry your care team around.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 07:03
It's a full-time job and they are my village. They give me strength and I give them strength to keep on going. We are creating a new textbook.
John Milham (Host) · 07:12
It's interesting just from my experience with some chronic condition and say I had sepsis, there's a sense of you are— you're not— as a patient, I would say sometimes it's very difficult to be seen.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 07:28
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 07:29
Right. To be part of it. And when you walk in with something that isn't easily classifiable, you'll often get a bias applied. So what you look like or what you say or where you come from, Doctors are human and they'll apply a bias and all of that's understandable. What I find difficult, and it would be something you would've experienced, I'm sure, in that they insist on their correctness and they believe that they are the final arbiter and it's very difficult to have a voice in your own care. So you are walking in with these rare presentations. How on earth did you feel like you had some sort of voice in this?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 08:20
Unfortunately, at times I didn't feel to be seen, but I feel like it's finding your team and that's one of the most empowering things I, you know, have been able to do is find different people that specialize in somewhat, even if they have a little bit of knowledge, and then they're willing to, you know, go and learn. And that our, both our egos are off the table. And I actually say that to people on my new team that we—
John Milham (Host) · 08:47
you interview doctors now?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 08:48
Uh, I don't interview them. I just, it's like a good marriage. And you know, the first person you date isn't necessarily gonna be the right person. Um, they might, what you were just saying, that, that interaction might be the same as when you walk in to a doctor's office, I do sit with them and just say, you know, I understand that my situation is complex, it's challenging, you might not know everything, but let's just walk together and pave a new road together and just, you know, I'm not blaming you, just walk beside me.
John Milham (Host) · 09:29
I wonder, given that often there's a degree of anxiety and pain is a huge fog to work through, and we're told as patients to have boundaries and to set them and hold the medical professions and, uh, to, to account for that. How do you do that? You know, how would you say someone who, like you, is just coming into having to deal with something that's be, you know, say, you know, multidimensional or complex like your situation, how, how would you get your team sorted?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 10:17
Uh, well, one of the greatest advice was, um, when you're feeling like maybe not in a crisis with your health to try and find your village and your people. And unfortunately, I know, you know, there is money factors and things like that. We— my ex-husband and I had to spend a lot of money trying to, you know, over $200,000 to try and getting me diagnosed and, and the right people and the right physios. It's just a process of keep on knocking on doors um, you know, and I'm, I'm just so blessed, as I said, that I have found a good care team. I think it's just— I'd give advice— it's just not giving up and knowing that there— if you know there's something wrong, which I always did instinctively, even with the cancer before I was diagnosed the first and second time, um, grounding yourself in that and I just think not taking it personally as well. We, I think we have to step back from our disease, and we're not our diseases.
John Milham (Host) · 11:20
No.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 11:21
But, you know, there has to be some respect for doctors. As you said earlier, doctors are human, and they just, they can't know everything. Like, for my conditions, they might have had 2 minutes at school learning. Um, and I think just going in with a bit of compassion, um, understanding where they might come from and where you're coming from.
John Milham (Host) · 11:45
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 11:45
And just keep on knocking on doors, you know, until you find the right person that actually says, I've actually, you know, I, I actually believe you and I feel that this could be the issue. And that is actually willing to do a whole set of tests and look at you as a holistic being. And my team look at me as a holistic being and not just Karen with EDS, Karen with a rare cancer. You know, when I have been in hospitals and not my doctors, I have been looked at like, you're dead. You know, you're going in that ground and it's going to be soon. And then, you know, when they've seen me in the corridor hall at the same hospital, they're like, hang on, they're looking at a ghost because I should be dead.
John Milham (Host) · 12:31
Why are you still here?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 12:32
And I'm not. And I have worked with my beautiful care team, had chemo, immunotherapy, multiple surgeries, and this will be ongoing for me for life. And with my other— before cancer, I had to find peace with the Ehlers-Danlos syndrome that had nearly killed me twice. And, you know, I have— I've done speeches and things like that with doctor training doctors. On. I had a colostomy 15 years ago because, you know, my body was in a bit of an inability to digest food and a lot of issues. So I just feel that by, you know, I can take my power back and maybe train doctors. And, um, rather than being angry, and just look at them for how it must feel for them telling someone that they have 6 months to live. How, how do they feel? I look at it from the counseling perspective of the, what I've studied as well. That's really changed me. Was I always in that perspective? No, but I, I, I definitely am now. I just feel that we can together, you know, um, yeah. And also the power of something greater than us. If you believe in prayer or, or, you know, meditation or good vibrations, um, just holding that hope that you will find the right people. As well. I really feel that I've held that very dear to my heart, and that has really given me strength over many, many years to just believe. And have people in your community, and whether that be your partner or, you know, a family member or friends or your church or other people, um, you know, around you. I think your village is more than just your medical team. It's, you know, other people in your community that you can come together. I don't have a lot of family close to me, so for me going through all of this, I've actually had to find my community as well. And they've been medicine. They've been medicine.
John Milham (Host) · 14:34
Yeah. Well, that's it. Yeah. Like one thing I note is, you know, in, in your world with, you know, such, you know, those conditions, they've got amazing names, but there's eagle Eagle syndrome.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 14:46
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 14:47
So Eagle syndrome.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 14:48
So yes, I actually have to, and I've got other things as well. I've actually got like a 9-page health resume.
John Milham (Host) · 14:55
And so like you overwhelmed with labels, right?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 14:59
I am, I am, but I'm no, I'm not that label. I'm not that label. And with Eagle syndrome and, um, some other deformities on my neck cuz of the severe hypermobility and issues, I actually have to look at a person like a deaf person. And even when people look at me and I tell them like what's going on for me, they just go, but you look so normal. But I have to keep up over 10 or 12 hours of rehab every week, mind, body, spirit rehab to keep myself just functioning at somewhat level that a normal person just takes for granted. Yeah. You know, even being able to handwrite, it's taken me, my physio, to color in a coloring page. Um, it took me 8 months to do that. Was 6 years ago. It took me to relearn how to write, to relearn how to walk again. And you know, I have to wear neck braces. My first degree was done with invigilators coming to my home because I was housebound. Yeah. Because of the severe gut issues that I had and joint issues. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 16:03
So it's an interesting perspective, you know, when we medicalize, right? I find that there's a sense that people are not normal., right? Because of, you know, they are pathologized, right? If there's doctors, then there must be a reason for the doctors. That's because you are broken and being broken isn't normal, right? Like, and yet be having, um, you know, you are who you are despite the labels regardless of it, right? Um, that doesn't make you non-normal, right? So, you know, like why do we, you, it must be quite isolating and at times, a very difficult exercise in adding yourself to what, to the sort of spectrum of normal life.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 16:47
Mm. Well, some, uh, one of my doctors recently said, um, that his wife had said, why don't you give this up? And he said to me, it's because I, um, I said to her, it's because of these beautiful patients that come into my life and they have so much complexities. And but yet they still just adapt to life and they get on with it. You know, they're not— it's no way their life is no way normal. But and I've had psychologists, not my psychologist, but other people say to me, oh, your life's like a train wreck. And I remember writing for a competition about that. And I'm not— my life is not a train wreck. Every day when I eat my food, I extend gratitude for the food I have before me, the roof I have over my head. I don't live on very much money. I've had to find happiness in a one-bedroom room on very limited money. And, you know, having multiple chronic health issues has changed my life. And but I have had to consistently work on that. And that's my passion in helping patients and also bringing doctors together as well so that we can work together rather than say, you know, we could have a war, patient-doctor war. That's not gonna help. We need to come together.
John Milham (Host) · 18:08
Yeah, it's a, it's a very strange idea. I was listening to a podcast where they were talking, where the psychologist was talking about how, you know, you have a broken leg. That doesn't negate the, the, you know, the good quality conversation that you have, or, you know, having something different doesn't change the, the, your ability to contribute in other areas. So 90% of your contribution is normal, but if 10% of your life is managing something different or something unusual, that doesn't— you shouldn't be defined by that 10%. Is that how you feel?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 18:47
Definitely. I've— and, but I've had to really work on that. I've had to do chronic pain courses. I've had to dive very deep with my psychologist into relooking at how I see myself in society because I feel the society has made me feel like I'm nothing. When you lose your identity to work, you know, for me to even think about going back to work, I have to be very creative because I can't sit on a 9-to-5 job because of the, you know, dislocating something. So I definitely feel, and I hear the chronic health community with the heartache that they feel for not to be seen and losing your identity. But it is something that we can take back. And studying postgrad counseling, um, I had to unpack my life suitcase. They made me justify why I had put everything in my life suitcase, and then I had to repack everything. And I did a lot of essays, and I'd studied a lot on chronic health, and a lot of it was also about cancer. So I believe I was actually taught that, and some of my doctors has actually said that you might not have survived hadn't studied that. So I had a good understanding of some things, um, that was well backed up with research as well. What helps somebody survive, um, longer when they're going through a chronic illness or cancer? And that might be like having a spiritual belief, exercising, doing creative therapies, which I'm very big on. And the creative therapy unit I did study, um, through that course was very profound. It actually really brought out a lot of, of the trauma that I was trapped in. I was trapped in trauma for so long, and until I found my tribe of health people and, um, holistic people as well, I feel that I was drowning. So I can completely understand other people going through chronic health issues, but I want them to know that there is hope. And there's free education at the libraries. There is free courses like the E-Center at Macquarie University where we can empower ourselves. It doesn't cost, that doesn't cost a cent. It's just turning up for ourselves, even if it's just getting outta bed and just saying, I got outta bed today. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 21:12
Yeah, absolutely.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 21:13
Um, you know, fair play to you.
John Milham (Host) · 21:17
Well, the, um, uh, you know, like when you talk about courses, right? Croquis now with, uh, online, you know, learning is a very different model these days. You mentioned open universities before. Like, you know, I did, of course, the Science of Happiness taught by, from, from edX online with the very people who invented positive psychology, you know, Kahneman and Goleman and, and, you know, people like that. So, yeah, it's an extraordinary resource out there if you want it. That, that said, it's very difficult sometimes to participate fully to even if you are impacted, the, as you said, chronic pain management can be an overwhelming task for a person, right? So working through having that commitment to participate in a world that doesn't welcome you or make it easy, that's an extraordinary thing to do. What do you, why do you, uh, what made you good at that? And why do you, uh, think so many others are really sort of, they grift away and do their best to, to reach out to a, a community that it makes it very difficult for them sometimes.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 22:35
I feel in schools, and a lot of people might say this, we should be educated on resilience at schools. Look how we all dealt with COVID A lot of people drank and they overate.
John Milham (Host) · 22:45
Oh, there's so many issues popping up nowadays, isn't it?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 22:49
I know. And I liken it to COVID for somebody with a chronic health condition. People got out of COVID A chronic health person that's living with a chronic health— they're never— yeah, gonna— you know, I, I couldn't even have coffee out. I was literally housebound. I had to take 15 Imodium just to get to my physio appointments. That was my life for many years. It, it was just profound. But sometimes I get brain fog, John. So you'll have to bring me back please to that question cuz I'm having a brain fog moment now.
John Milham (Host) · 23:22
Well, you, you, you, it's that very brain fog, you know, that, that, you know, our brains and our bodies may sometimes put obstacles in the way of us participating fully in the normal stream. So what, what keeps you trying? What, what you, you are an advocate now. You are spreading the word, you are changing, trying, you are taking your experience and turning that into influence, right, on policy and services.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 23:47
Mm-hmm.
John Milham (Host) · 23:48
You know, why is that important? Why are you driven to do that? Why do you keep going, keep trying to break down those barriers?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 23:56
I could easily sit back and be passive, but you know, there is a saying that if you want to be the change, you know, be the change you want to see. And what I have seen is not— hasn't necessarily been working. And I have done so much work. There has been so much grief, so much disenfranchised grief, um, that, you know, people might not even understand and we don't look at. I just feel that through all the work that I've done and not having children, which has totally, utterly broke my heart, that I can mother the world in a different way. And that's my contribution to the world, by showing up and showing the world that there is a way, a different way. And, you know, we need to walk back to ourselves to find that as well, and again, connect to the villages that really help us to build our strength. To, to find that resilience in ourselves to, um, not, not let this, um— and I'm not about the second diagnosis, you know, which I realized I had stage 4 all along for the last nearly 40 months. Um, people say you're in a fight. I realized that I wasn't in a fight. And I, after I was diagnosed, it was like a year ago, and I was diagnosed with another 7 tumors in multiple organs. It wasn't looking good. I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, I love you, Karen. I had to change how I really spoke to myself. And it really boils down to the relationship we have with ourselves. And I remember being 17, I was a high school dropout. I changed my life. I went back and did, um, year 10 at night. I was working 6 days a week and then educating myself through year 12 that way as well. And I read something called Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Yes. And it was a defining moment. And I just believe that from then I started education. And I said to you earlier, my auntie said to me that education opens doors. So I just, I just know that if people just read a book or listen to a podcast, because I have trouble reading a book, I have to be very adapted because of my neck, how I read books. And, um, but there's other means now, you know, and I think we just got to keep on showing up for ourselves and, and just taking steps to then maybe, you know, you might want to be an advocate yourself. And the more voices are out there, the more that we will be heard. And, you know, even at being at uni and I need a note taker. And, you know, they're not listening to me that I need a note taker. You know, for me to sit and write for an hour is a very huge challenge. To go to a 2-day workshop, it takes months with my psychologist and physio for me to build that up, whereas some people roll out of bed and take that for granted. So maybe I can, by sharing my story, which I'm just getting started at doing, I will inspire others with, you know, limited abilities in different ways to rise up within themselves and go, you can be seen and you are valued and you're a very valued person in society.
John Milham (Host) · 27:36
I'd like to talk a little bit in a minute about your personal experience of illness, right? But at the moment, I, I find that I'm drawn to ask about identifying, you mentioned, you know, like having support as a disabled person, right? So you were disabled by your illnesses, right? Which immediately, which is another label, and it's a label that has a whole set of conditions attached to it, you know, so you can be, you know, people look at you and say, you look so normal, that in and of itself is sort of indicating that Oh, they believe, you know, if you are disabled, you should look a different way, right? So how do we deal with the stigma that insists on separating people based on one aspect of themselves?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 28:31
Again, maybe just keep on raising our voices and showing up. Like I had one person say to me, you are the epitome why you, somebody would get yelled at for using a disabled toilet. Now having a colostomy, you, if I need to do a change, a bag change, I I actually need a toilet that has a sink. Now, some of these toilets in Sydney, there's no water. The taps are outside, right?
John Milham (Host) · 28:56
Yeah, it's terrible.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 28:58
It's— they're not thinking, you know. Um, I need a disability, uh, parking space. Um, you know, I have worse days than others, and especially with chemo, some days I literally couldn't even get to the toilet. Um, so Why should I be abused or anyone like me? I think it says, you know what, I'm just gonna have to keep on showing up, and people are as well, and voicing our, you know, concerns. And shouldn't I, um, you know, present myself nice in the world and dress in color? What should a Cancer person look like? People keep on saying to me, but you don't look sick. But what does a cancer patient look like? My hair's growing back, you can't see it, but I lost half my hair. And, um, I have pictures where you can see all the different links, and they don't know all the scars of my body. They don't see that, you know. Um, does it hurt?
John Milham (Host) · 29:54
Like, it— like each— oh man, yeah, the hurt.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 30:00
I can't tell you. Even after having a colostomy, I told two people and it was like as if I was a disgusting person, that trauma, absolute trauma I lived in for many years. I wouldn't even wear a dress, John. I can't tell you how I felt. And I've only been able to come and talk about it in the last few, you know, few years. And I literally last year I went to a Lifelong Ball and I wore a dress.
John Milham (Host) · 30:31
Oh wow.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 30:32
And, and heels. Now wearing heels is something that I lost the ability to do.. And my physios, you know, took 5 years for me to do, and I was able to wear those heels. And it was a special shoe called Frankie, Frankie 4s. Um, and my, um, podiatrist says, I want you to write a letter and tell them, you know, what, because this is why they've had shoes like this. Yeah, even there's a beautiful lady called, um, oh, she's got a Vanilla Blush. So like Uh, that's for ostomy underwear, and that is making someone— because it was only Bridget Jones's underwear. So yeah, like a prosthetic bra. It has a pouch, and there's also special, um, bathers and things like that for people with stomas. And I actually, um, for our local area district, I got, um, stoma bags covered. So if somebody was having, um, made by the Pink Ladies, you know, so that everybody would have dignity for anybody that would have a stoma. So I— so if anyone's having like a scan, they actually have some dignity. But these other underwear are beautiful and they make you feel feminine. Right. And, you know, going on a little bit tangent here, I've often said this to many politicians and things like that. I don't know whether I'm being heard. It's 10 sessions that we get on the mental health plan is not enough when you lose a part of your body. The trauma. And, you know, as I said, I've studied a lot of this as well. I know that people can come back. Yeah, from this. And a lot of people— and I've studied this on with research with my uni— a lot of people will never come back. And I liken it to, this is the mainland, which is the normal, uh, world, and then I've been washed off to an island, and then the tsunami's coming. And that my beautiful village that I found have got me, put me on the island, built a bridge, and actually literally carry me over the bridge for many years, or many, you know, years. And now I'm able to walk over the bridge myself back to the mainland, and I mainly stay on the mainland. Sometimes I go back to that, and I hope people might be able to understand that as I start to talk a little bit more about that.
John Milham (Host) · 32:52
Yeah, I really like the idea, particularly of being a part of the population, but maybe just having to dwell slightly separately due to considerations that other people don't seem to accommodate or understand. It's interesting because you talk about recovery, right, and getting back, but in many ways there's no getting back, is there? It's other people's ideas of life that you're— that they're asking you to come and comply with. When you go through something, you're changed, so you can't go back. So, you know, they talk about person-centered care. So, you know, how do we encourage the medical profession to start with, and then the population at large to accept variation as being, you know, part of the process of of getting through life, right? None of us— Kintsugi heroes. Kintsugi is the art of putting pottery back together with gold and then believing those scars make it more beautiful.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 33:59
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 33:59
How is that any different to humans?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 34:02
Well, Carl Rogers is the person-centered person. You might have heard of him.
John Milham (Host) · 34:06
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 34:07
Yeah. So I think we just gotta start with conversations like this, John. And I was just talking to a lovely lady who's an advocate as well. We both volunteer at the Royal North Shore Hospital. We will be pitching, pitching maybe some training for doctors where patients and, and that was always my goal anyway to do it even before the cancer. And it doesn't matter what a paper says about my cancer. And, you know, I just get up and live my life. But I suppose it's joining this conversation and just turning up and asking for this patient-centered care and just knocking on the doors again. You will find the right doctors that are willing to do that. But we have to also turn up and be active patients in our own care and ask for the care that we want.
John Milham (Host) · 35:03
Yeah, you mentioned Louise Hay. Oh, and because Rogerian Care begins with that idea of unconditional positive regard, which means people are different from who or what they do. So I love that idea because that's the onus on the people who are caring, not the people who need care. And I think that's a huge difference. I would say, and maybe you have a perspective on that, that as people with challenges, physical and mental and emotional challenges and social challenges as related to all of these conditions, we're blamed for that, right? We are actually, you know, considered at cause for our own inability to not be well. Have you felt that?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 36:01
Uh, yeah, when I was overweight, um, I was told, uh, and it was obviously the start of cancer. Um, no, I did put crap in my body. Like, I just did. Now I'm limited to 46 foods, so— and the foods are very, very good. But I, I did, uh, have indications that I was either, as I said, anorexic, or, um, I'm overweight because I don't look after myself. Um, I had gone through IVF, failed at IVF as well, and yes I did eat wrong foods.
John Milham (Host) · 36:36
Have you seen the lolly aisle in Woolworths? You're not alone on that, right?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 36:42
But I now do definitely make conscious choices. Like, yes, I have a bit of chocolate here and there, but I have changed, and it's been forced upon me, but I did give up drinking before I got the diagnosis of cancer. I thought, if I'm going to be a counselor, if I'm sitting there in front of a patient, a client. I don't want to be a hypocrite, you know. If I'm having a few drinks on a Friday night and I'm not dealing with my problems and I'm using, you know, smoking cigarettes or drinking, who am I to sit there and ask this person to change or sit with them and change? I think it starts with us. We do, we do, we do have to make— turn up for ourselves. Um, I think there is that element. We do have to start turning up with ourselves and making conscious choices. But consumerism, you know, with— it's so hard too, and we're bombarded with life in so many ways. But, um, yeah, look, it's, it's a challenging one. There's, you know, there's a lot of research if we do look after ourselves that we can have a longer life. I did do a lot of research in that with uni. Look, sometimes there's also— when you're so trapped in trauma, it's very— it is very hard to be out of that. Yeah, like, it's— I think that's a two-sided coin. And I think, again, we need to come together. And I don't think a person should be blamed. I don't know whether the doc— society has so much to be blamed, and there's so much pressure on Look at, look at, you know, the media consumption of what— how we see somebody online. We see their front gardens, we don't actually see their back gardens. We don't understand the trauma behind that. We don't understand the need of why we need a cigarette or why people are vaping. Yeah, you know, why— maybe we should get to the guts of why. Yeah, and that might address that question. Yeah, that's a good thought, rather than blaming you know, blaming me because I, you know, I had liver function— because I, yes, I did put wrong foods in my body, but I was traumatized by everything I went through. Not being out, you know, IVF not working, you know, my marriage was failing. Um, golly, we're humans. Yeah, yeah, on both sides. And, and we live in such a world that's It's so challenging.
John Milham (Host) · 39:16
Yeah. It's far more complex than black and white. It's never binary, is it?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 39:22
So, no. And I just think, you know what, my reference is God just meets us where we are. Maybe we have to meet ourselves where we are.
John Milham (Host) · 39:30
Uh, it comes to mind, the idea of acceptance being a big part of, you know, moving towards, you mentioned Louise Hay, and of course she starts You know, she was the person who introduced to me the concept of, you know, the power of gratitude and the power of acceptance. Right. So, so how do you, uh, get to a place where you accept the gifts that you've been given, even if they feel like poison at times? Right.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 39:58
Oh, I tell you, I've been on the floor. There's been some recent ones where I didn't know whether I can pick myself up. Yes. But I'm not giving in and I'm not giving up.
John Milham (Host) · 40:08
And why, why are you not giving up?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 40:11
I just feel, I know it's not my time. Yeah, I don't care what the paper says, it's not my time. And I just know that. And I had very big gut instincts before I was diagnosed with my cancer, um, or the cancer a few years ago. I just had this as soon as I started to get more cleaner with my body, um, connect to my beliefs that I had as a child. Create a community where I felt safe as a child, like I did. We stayed in one area for 3 years, um, but 3 different houses, but I was able to stay at the one school rather than move, you know, differently. Um, I've actually gone back to that, and I know, um, Erik Erikson, he talks about the psychosocial stages and that if we miss a stage, we can go back. I believe I'm doing that.
John Milham (Host) · 41:03
So you're back to, uh, you know, the 7 to 14 section where you're just a little bit But I'm also probably living 20s where I didn't—
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 41:13
I had so much anxiety. And with the Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, you're 1,000 times more likely to have anxiety due to the autonomic system. So it's learning how I've had to manage that anxiety. I've been crippled at times where I've had social anxiety and I couldn't go out. So I, with my team and with my own education, I've had to put myself forward and just go You know what, what if I did only have X amount of time? I need to make conscious choices in my life that I'm going to tick off my— not my bucket list, it's called a life list. What's more important? Is it for me? I always dreamed as that child to write a book, to be a teacher. Now, I might not have been, and because of how life went and the illness I can't be a teacher to school children, but I can be a teacher to adults and to people that want to actually listen to my story and learn from it. So it's adapting, you know, and picking myself up. But it— I'm not saying it's easy. Every day is a journey. I'm on a journey for the rest of my life. I will be in having psychology sessions, you know, for the rest of my life. The health journey, but I, before I was diagnosed with cancer, I actually had to befriend the EDS. And I just don't see cancer as a threat anymore. I just get up and live and I cry about my separation. You know, I cry about other things. I just don't cry about cancer. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 42:45
I heard, uh, uh, Gabor Maté talking about, um, dating, you know, dating the, the, your, uh, particular challenge, right? Like Oh, I love that. She's courting it and, you know, getting to know it and appreciating it, which sort of, you know, sounds very strange, obviously. But the idea here, I'll ask this question. With all of those challenges in those days where you were locked in the house for years, where you were on the floor in despair, when you've overcome those to keep going and reconnect and achieve things that you're able to achieve. What is the gift of these challenges? What is the gift of your illness?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 43:32
Learning to love myself, have a different relationship with myself. And really, you know, I can see where I got lost in it all and I hid behind everything and the disease and I hid behind my marriage. I hid behind everything and it's made me go again, that Eric Erickson stages, you know, go back and live that 7 to 14-year-old dream, you know, the 20-year-old that getting to— I got married very early and I have no regrets, you know, trauma unfortunately ruined our marriage and he had cancer and I was his carer and he had many chronic illnesses. We saw each other so much, but The trauma for us both was just too much. But fortunately, we're friends, you know, we're good friends. We share custody of our dog. We have important roles to play.
John Milham (Host) · 44:28
It's very responsible of you both.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 44:32
I know, the dog rules the world. But yeah, look, brain fog again happening here, John. Oh, the gift.
John Milham (Host) · 44:42
The gift.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 44:43
The gift. The gift. I see like the— every lesson is a blessing, and sometimes I can't see it at that time. Yeah, but I really try and— I fall, and when I fall, I fall hard. But when I get back up, I get back 10,000 million times back up, and I'm back, you know. But I fall, and I'm— I'll keep falling, but that will help me. And I think again, it's this resilience as a young child that I've had to be adapted I've had to adapt to my environment. I believe the childhood I had was because I've had to, you know, um, maybe it was setting me up for the adulthood I was going to have. I wanted to be a successful woman when I was younger, and then I ended up getting married and I got sick. It's like, but I defined— what I defined success then is very different to finding success now. And I just, I have no regrets. I've learned to find peace with my body, be beyond my body. And, you know, I'm— I live in a body that needs to have some services like a car does, a bit more often than the average car.
John Milham (Host) · 45:54
People still pay for those ones. Yeah, so they still love them, they still look after them.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 45:59
Yeah, I think, um, I thought, who's going to love me? Like, honestly, you know, after coming back out of marriage, and who will love me? Who will love me because I have a bag on my stomach? Who will love me because I have scars? But who wouldn't love me is all I got to say because I've had to realize and really work hard. I'm a beautiful person and someone one day will find that in me.
John Milham (Host) · 46:22
I'd like to ask you about outcomes. The Stoics, of which I'm a big fan, talk about memento mori, you know, the moment of death, which is a signal to live. It's impossible that you haven't spent time thinking about, you know, diseases. You know, all of us are on a journey. What has that meant for you? Do you have an accommodation with death? Do you understand it? Is it scary? Does it influence you or do you ignore it? How do you deal with something that must be real because doctors continually bring it up, right?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 46:58
It's very real. And, um, There's a few ways I'm gonna go with this, but I think initially I did some meditation and it was about meditating on your death, and that was prior to cancer. Mm-hmm. Um, and I just sort of like get up every day and have goals. So I deal with that. And even my GP says, look, you've done this for 30 years. Just keep on doing it. Mm-hmm. It doesn't matter. This is, you know, you've got your statistics. Yes. And, you know, outcome could be this, but just keep on doing what you're doing. It's, you know, they've known me for a long time. However, um, I've also mentored a lot of patients with the cancer and other people with EDS, and they've died. I recently lost my best friend, and, and, um, he was the most amazing human being and advocate for this cancer. And we were best friends for 18 months, but the friendship was like 80 years. And I say, and I'm writing about it, it's about sitting in life and sitting in death and what that feels like. Because there's a lot of people that have totally ignored me and have not wanted to know me. And one person who's a nurse said to me, um, a friend just said, uh, they probably don't want to know because they're scared that they don't know how to deal with this.
John Milham (Host) · 48:22
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 48:22
And then there's the people that I have hardly known, or they're cancer survivors and they're like around me. And again, it's finding your tribe. And I think I was through this, I— when these other people that I've known for a long time, it's like, where are you? But they're not there. And then when I really lift the veil, it's like there was people there, but they've come in different forms, and I've had to be open to that. But Look, I don't want to die, and I had to make big decisions last year when I was re-diagnosed, um, and I sort of call it the, um, uh, dark corridors and big decisions. And I'd just come back from Queensland. I didn't have the nicest time. I'd been crying for about 8 weeks. I knew something wasn't right. I then went jaundiced. I was in hospital. They were telling me it wasn't good down the emergency department. The cancer was back. Not my doctors, you know, because my team treat me and speak to me in a very different manner. There was a very dark corridor because everything was closed and I was walking towards that and I knew that was death. And I was walking and I'm not— I'm facing you because I'm going to make big decisions. And I had to make decisions which I wrote down why I was going to live. And not go down that hole and die. And I walked and I walked towards this darkness and I was facing it. And as I faced it, do you know what happened, John? The most profound light and yellow of the buildings came to me. And I, I just had this glorious moment and said, it's not my time. And no matter other people coming into the room, I just said, I don't care what you say. I'm going to be on a motivational speaking stage in 5 years' time. I'm not dying. And yes, I've had to sit in it, can't get myself up. Um, but I just feel that I believe in God. People believe in whatever they want to. I believe in God in my way. Um, God has been with me. How could I go wrong when I have God on my side?
John Milham (Host) · 50:28
Faith, uh, to me is belief without evidence. Is that a, a place that helps?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 50:34
Faith over fear. That's what I said when I was rediagnosed. I will live with faith over fear. I will live in the flow rather than fight. Yeah. Wow. And that has changed. You know, I look, we're all terminal. We are all terminal. And that's the thing, my message, we are all terminal. Yeah. Start dealing with it.
John Milham (Host) · 50:56
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 50:57
You know that from your own story. You know, I was listening to that the other day and it's, um, we just don't know. We don't know. I've had someone that was, um, talking about bowel cancer, um, to somebody else, and the person died very quickly. And yet that person who was talking about the other person died of a heart attack at 52, like that. So I don't know when my time is up. I don't believe my time is up, and the statistics are very against me, but I'm not against me. I can get up every day and choose how I live. Yes, sometimes I'm very depressed and have anxiety or have crappy days, but I can choose to get up and wear color. I can choose to put makeup on my face. I can choose to say my gratitude. I can choose to be around the beautiful people that embody me with love, and I can remove, you know, things that are toxic that I feel are toxic and not helping me. Because we, if we were in an environment that isn't conducive to our health, research says that we lose 4 hours of our life a day. And I'm not willing to give that 4 hours away to anybody. I'm still working on it. But, you know, I'm, yeah. And I do a lot of, you know, meditation. I go to church on a Sunday. I do 3 hours of meditation. Well, that's 2 and a half. 1.5 or something like that a week. And then I, I go to the gym, and while I'm doing gym, I listen to beautiful Christian songs about God being with me. And, um, yeah, I'm, I'm just a believer. And I, and I believed as a child, and I lost it for a while. And I've just brought back all the things that really brought me joy. And my physio and I, we use, um, cricket and things like that, and bringing all the things that I love and We bring clay therapy in and all the things. I'm a very creative person, so I bring all that in. And, and I've just found a little place where I actually have a garden, and I'm able— I just go and sit out there and I'd be at peace. And when I was diagnosed last year and I was living in a, in a granny flat out with some— but someone's— I just sat and I just listened, and I really, really listened because I just thought This might be my last time of listening. And it's not about taking the motorway and having everything in life like you were talking about in your interview. You had, you know, got everything in life. You thought you'd got, you know, the corporate world, that, how the children. No, the magic is taking, um, you know, the, the back roads. Yeah. Seeing the view.
John Milham (Host) · 53:43
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 53:43
Yeah. It's not about having a, you know, um, a million-dollar house. It's about finding happiness on a $30,000 income, you know, very much finding joy in eating a piece of, you know, um, fruit, sitting patting my dog. I can't change what's happened to me, but I can change how I turn up for myself, even if it's very strong, you know, and challenging sometimes.
John Milham (Host) · 54:14
Yeah, absolutely brilliant. Um, I love that, uh, insight. Thank you for sharing. There's a, uh, you know, in, in my experience, um, that staring that dark man, dark corridor in the staring him down, there's that sense of, uh, you know, maybe, uh, some people would See it as avoidance, but acceptance offers freedom. Do you feel free?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 54:47
Definitely. Yeah. Like, you know, but the first time I was diagnosed, I felt like I was a little bit more of a victim. Yes. I got up and I was doing costumes for cancer and getting in green tutus and, you know, that's when my advocacy started. And I thought, if I'm going down, yeah, you know, I'm going down with fun. And I'm, all my team joined me. My physios would get dressed up and everything and. And I just thought, I'm going down. And I maybe thought I was going down. Now I'm just like, you know, I'm not thinking whether I'm going down. I'm just living.
John Milham (Host) · 55:17
Yeah, absolutely. That's brilliant. Um, such a wonderful sort of energy to sit in. How would you, uh, what would you share with others? So, you know, with, with challenges, not just, um, you know, illness, uh, you know, um, it, you know, it can, they can be challenged by, you know, situational distress or, you know, the, you know, what's going on in their lives or for others they care about or their mental health or, or, um, you know, there's many things that put us into this desperate place. What would you, uh, you seem to, um, have embraced so, uh, you so powerfully yourself. What would you share with others to help them find that same in it?
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 56:02
That same, I think, um, yeah, look after yourself and especially as a carer. You know, I was a carer to my husband. He was a carer to me. And I think we were too, too connected. We didn't have a lot of support when we lived overseas and we didn't have like, if we had had more support, our marriage would have been able to thrive more, but it was killed. You know, it wasn't, there was nothing in the marriage bank because we were just surviving.
John Milham (Host) · 56:29
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 56:29
So I would say one, turn up for yourself, especially if you're a carer and people feel guilty necessarily. About, you know, they need to be there. But really, if you don't fill your own cup up, don't expect to be able to fill other people's cup up.
John Milham (Host) · 56:44
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 56:45
You know, that is true, especially when you're, you know, you're a parent or, um, you're a carer for somebody else. Yeah. And even if you're unwell, just, you know, choosing wherever you can have the orange over the chocolate. You know, there's so much evidence that state states that it's just these little choices. And, and I know how challenging it is. You know, I took 9 times to give up smoking, but I would never take a drink again. But I understand. I've been there. You know what it is like to have a drink on a Friday night and to down, you know, a few glasses and not think about the childlessness and, and where my life is. And I've been there. I've sat in it. I've sat in life, I've sat in death, and I've sat in everything in between. And I just say, just, yeah, just make subtle changes and don't expect to, in New Year's Eve, to go— I mean, New Year's Day, to be running around a block. It's just taking one step and then taking another step the next day. Pace yourself and educate yourself and be around beautiful people. There's beautiful people in our community. Find beautiful people.
John Milham (Host) · 58:01
I love that. That's a huge piece, finding beautiful people. What would you, you know, say people out there are just listening to this and they're inspired like me to hear you and your story and your wisdom, but they're not sick or they don't feel like they've got a huge challenge themselves. Knowing life, you know, has unexpected turns, what would you say to them or what, how would you help them start to build a care team that works for the worst times they're in? Not the, not just the best.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 58:39
I would say educating themselves on wellbeing, reading books. You know, as I said, education opens many doors. Go to seminars, listen to podcasts, try and build these, you know, skills up. Now, I'm often told that I'm strong and I'm stronger than these other people, but I've had to learn to adapt. It's like somebody having, you know, no arm and they have to eat with their legs. My brain has had to be pushed to be creative with how I achieve things, you know, even how I have conversations, how I achieve, you know, right, doing degrees and study and things like that. So yeah, find, find a good GP, you know, in the health. So they'll advocate for you. They'll pick up the phone if you aren't feeling well. You know, connect, connect to really lovely people in your community that, you know, you trust and believe that if you don't incline to go speak to a psychologist, you know, your reverend or people at your church or your spiritual belief, whatever you believe in, you know, having a connection or a support group. It's just, and also doing creative therapies or nature therapy. You could take walks and be mindful. Get off the motorway.
John Milham (Host) · 59:54
Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 59:54
And start looking for the preciousness. Even, you know, eating a piece of chocolate. Don't have the whole bar. Have one piece. Savor it.
John Milham (Host) · 1:00:03
I love that theory. I have a theory. I call it the Tim Tam theory. I'll share it with you.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:00:08
Tell me.
John Milham (Host) · 1:00:09
The idea, yeah, we love, you know, say, you know, a lot of people love Tim Tams and rightly so, they are amazing. And that first Tim Tam is just extraordinary, right? You, when you, you know, with it and you think the next one is gonna be as good and it is pretty good, but it's just a fraction less extraordinary than the first one. By the time I got to the end of the packet, right, which was, you know, more often than it should, the last Tim Tam was actually quite a chore.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:00:36
Right?
John Milham (Host) · 1:00:37
So it's the diminishing marginal returns of excellence on a Tim Tam, right? That's the theory. So really, if we stayed at just one, right, we'd have nothing but extraordinary. It's only when we keep trying to push and squeeze that same experience out of stuff that doesn't, you know, doesn't offer it, can't offer it. That we start to get into this, you know, sort of neediness, right? Like, I want these ideas. So if we extrapolate that to everything in life, you know, that sample, that moment of extraordinary, and if you move on to the next extraordinary, you never lose that. You're always one extraordinary thing after another.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:01:22
So that's having, yeah, some diverse, having diverse, get hot, get your connect back to your child. What did you like? You know, like, why are you eating that packet of Tim Tams? You know, start distracting yourself with other things that you really wanted, that was on your life list. Don't know why they call it bucket list. I don't like it. It's a life list. We should be enjoying life, not thinking about death. Live, you know. I'm not dying, I'm living. Yeah, I said before, right up to the last breath, I'm living. Yeah. And actually, I remember leaving a job once, and I worked right up to to the last minute and people go, what are you doing that for? And I'm like, because this is how I wanna show up.
John Milham (Host) · 1:02:00
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's brilliant. Yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:02:03
Yeah. Like the choice. But again, that Tim Tam can be seen to that, uh, in the motorway and the B road.
John Milham (Host) · 1:02:12
Yeah. I love that. It's like get off the motorway, get off the, uh, freeway and start to, yeah.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:02:17
And start to, you know, and, uh, there's a beautiful book by Brett Lilly. He's one of my mentors. And that's about discovering your athlete within and going back to your childhood as well. It's interesting because that's how I— how my thoughts were, and I was already— so when the universe aligns you with the right people, people will come. He's all about adapting life, you know, um, back to, uh, you know, the things that, that brought you joy. And, and we get lost in life, we do, and You know, with our grief and we get trapped and just taking little steps, it's little tiny steps to find ourselves again.
John Milham (Host) · 1:02:59
That's lovely. How about we set, we lock in a date now in 5 years' time as, you know, as since you're a motivational speaker, right? We'll, we'll get an update on all, all your things.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:03:11
I love it. And I've got, actually I said that to my, one of my doctors because I did Socks for Cancer to raise money. And I said to him, and he's got so many socks as gifts, and I said to him, I'm not— I'm gonna be in your office in 5 years' time giving you another crazy pair of socks, because I give my doctors, like the gastroenterologist, poo socks or toilet roll socks. So there we go, we got a date. I've got a date with you and I've got a date with the professor.
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:41
I'll get a set of esophageal socks or throat socks or something.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:03:45
I could get, yes, yes.
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:46
I like it.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:03:47
I'm gonna have to come over and meet you and give you a pair soon.
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:50
That's wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing so honestly, so openly, so, well, courageously today. It's been inspiring to talk to you and your work, your encouragement for the community is inspiring as well. So Congratulations on just being, you know, just making life as, getting to 51, as amazing, as amazing and as normal and as full of potential as possible. And thank you for the work you're doing for people. And thank you for being on Katsuki Heroes.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:04:30
Yeah, I love it. And thanks, Ian, for creating it. He's a magical man too.
John Milham (Host) · 1:04:35
Absolutely. So well done, Karen, and all the best. And we'll talk very soon.
Karen Humphries (Guest) · 1:04:39
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 1:04:40
Cheers. Thank you for listening to this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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