Jeff Parker
31 Years of Support: Why Jeff Parker Says 'You Don't Have to Do It Alone'
Jeff Parker lost his legs, then his sight, then years to pain. He chose to rebuild by helping others navigate disability systems.
Hear this story
Kintsugi Studio
Jeff Parker
Jeff Parker lost his legs, then his sight, then years to pain. He chose to rebuild by helping others navigate disability systems.
Hear this story
In 1989, Jeff Parker was a strong, independent weightlifter when a small twinge in his hip escalated into complete paralysis within a week and a half. An MRI revealed a spinal cord tumor. After surgery and months of hard work, he walked out of the hospital on his own terms, even if it meant just five steps with his mother and aunt holding him up. What he didn't know then was that this was only the first fracture.
In 1992, multiple sclerosis attacked his optic nerves. For six years, Jeff fought to keep his sight by taking increasingly high doses of prednisone, but the medication caused severe osteoporosis. He fractured eight vertebrae. The pain became unbearable, literal pain just to breathe. He and his wife made a hard choice together: he would stop the medication and lose his sight to regain mobility. When blindness came, it arrived in total darkness one afternoon while he was awake.
Then came the darkest period of all. In 2001, a close friend with quadriplegia died, and Jeff fell into a severe depression that lasted years. He self-harmed and overdosed. Yet he kept going, one day at a time, the way he had learned to survive as a child with an abusive father. Now at 61, after decades of fighting bureaucracies, inaccessible websites, and indifferent councils, Jeff runs a YouTube channel called Blind Advocate with over 145 videos. He helps people navigate the NDIS, accessibility laws, and the simple human fact that carers and support workers save the government roughly 100 billion dollars a year while receiving almost nothing in return. His message is clear: you don't have to do this alone.
“Without those supports, my life would be a thousand times harder. There's a lot of support that I rely on, and I try to be as independent as much as I can, but without those supports, my life would be a thousand times harder.”
“Yeah, I wish I'd have left my eyesight go in '92 and not have, you know, 8 fractured vertebrae, because that really impacts my quality of life. A lot of pain all the time, nonstop, every 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
“When the doctor told me I wouldn't walk again, um, I said, oh no, I'm going to walk out of the hospital.”
The hero, today
When you first acquire a disability, survival is measured in single days: you focus on getting through that day, then the next day, without looking years down the track. The people who seem like your friends before crisis often disappear when you need them most, but the ones who stay matter more than numbers. His wife's support meant she had to leave work, come home and help him, return to work, and do it all again every single day, which Jeff says was harder on her than it was on him. Carers and support workers save the government an estimated $100 billion a year, yet they receive almost no recognition or support from government in return. You don't have to do this alone, and reaching out for help isn't weakness, it's the difference between making things harder or easier when you're dealing with health issues or mobility challenges. Technology is advancing rapidly for people with disabilities, but websites and software still aren't being built with accessibility in mind because the people installing the software aren't doing their jobs properly.
Yes. Jeff Parker is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
When you first acquire a disability, survival is measured in single days: you focus on getting through that day, then the next day, without looking years down the track.
The people who seem like your friends before crisis often disappear when you need them most, but the ones who stay matter more than numbers.
His wife's support meant she had to leave work, come home and help him, return to work, and do it all again every single day, which Jeff says was harder on her than it was on him.
Carers and support workers save the government an estimated $100 billion a year, yet they receive almost no recognition or support from government in return.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 00:02
Across Australia, powerful stories of resilience, strength, and courage go unheard every day. Golden Threads: Stories of Disability and Resilience is here to change that. Hosted by me, Daniel Doherty, Golden Threads brings you honest and deeply personal conversations that invite you to explore what it means to adapt, persevere, and thrive in a world still learning what inclusion really means. Hi there, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Kintsugi Heroes podcast. We have a great episode in front of us today. Jeff Parker is our guest. Jeff is no stranger to the microphone. He's no stranger to social media. He's no stranger to sharing a great story, and we're really— I'm really excited, and I hope that you are as well to to hear what Jeff has to say today and learn from his experiences. So, Jeff, welcome to the podcast today. How are you?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 01:00
I'm good, thanks. Thanks for having me.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 01:03
Yeah, absolutely. So let's go ahead and let's start the conversation. Jeff, what do you want people to know about you early on, just from the beginning? What should people know going into this podcast about Jeff Parker?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 01:18
Oh look, I acquired my first disability in 1989. Um, I've got quite a few. Um, it's, yeah, it's been a long and varied road, a lot of struggles along the way, and I had a lot of help along the way as well.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 01:35
Yeah, I, with just as much as you're comfortable sharing, uh, back in 1989, uh, the world was a little bit different back then, both in technological components as well, but also just how disabilities were viewed in society and how disabilities were accepted into society. Back in 1989, when you first acquired that, what was that like?
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This conversation includes before the tumor, the paralysis begins, finding the tumor, the first goal, steve arrives and ms and the fight for sight.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 01:56
That's something I never had to deal with before. It was completely strange and foreign. I was, at an early age, I used to do a lot of weight training. My old man, my father, was a chronic alcoholic, very abusive, so I thought get big and strong and defend myself. So I took up weightlifting, um, started about '75, but then 1989 I was down at the gym doing some leg work, um, got up the next morning to go to work and had a slight twinge in my left hip, um, and over about a week and a half period I got to the stage where I couldn't walk. I really struggled. I had to lean on things, um, pull myself along. I hadn't peed in about 24 hours. Um, my wife, or my then girlfriend at the time, took me off to the hospital. Um, they put a catheter in, drained about 1.5 liters. Um, yeah. Uh, um, they decided to keep me in hospital because he couldn't work out what's going on. Um, about a day and a half later, I was completely paralyzed from the waist down.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 03:06
Well, for somebody your, your young age, uh, for that to happen and going from being very active, like you said, uh, into weightlifting, um, you know, strong, very capable, um, that sounds like it's probably quite a bit of your identity at the time, uh, to have that drastically changed in such a short amount of time, uh, it's been just as quite a significant change, not just physically but how you experienced life. Tell us a little bit about what that experience was like with that new condition.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 03:35
Well, it's— I've always been really independent. I had to be growing up, so I was always independent. And then, you know, losing the use of my legs, um, really scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what was happening, why it was happening, and what the outcome was going to be down the track. So, um, I've seen just about every doctor in the town where I live in Armadale, New South Wales. Um, there was a doctor in town who was leaving the area. He was going to, um, St. Vincent's Hospital in Sydney in the hospice, taking charge of it, and he sent me on the way through. And I actually got an air ambulance that day and I beat him to Sydney. So, um, they put me in a hospital They run a battery test, and, um, my then neurologist wanted to send me to an MRI, and there was only one in Australia at that time that was in Sydney. So he pulled a few strings and got me in, and they found a tumor in the spinal cord. It was an astrocytoma. Yeah, astrocytoma. Um, they told me that astrocytomas usually occur in the brain or the brainstem. Um, but I've got mine at L3. That's why I went paralyzed from the waist down. Um, I had an operation and radiotherapy, and yeah, I was in hospital for 4 months. Um, they told me I wouldn't walk again, but yeah, after a few months working hard every day, I was able to stand for a few seconds, um, and then transfer from the bed to a wheelchair. So that's when I left hospital, when it got to that stage.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 05:23
Right. Now, coming again, contrasting to where you were just prior to this happening, you know, lifting weights and being active, you know, just everyday life, being quite mobile, to going where it was kind of a— probably it sounds like a significant achievement just to stand for a few seconds to get to the wheelchair. Uh, you want to talk a little bit about more about your perspective of what it's like going from being not even thinking about mobility because it's part of the part of everyday life to wow, how things are different and what it's like just to stand for just a couple seconds and that's actually a big deal. What's that like?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 06:08
It was scary. Um, I really wasn't sure what my future held. I, like I said, my then girlfriend who's now my wife, I rang up and told her and I said, look, you know, if you want to split up, I understand. You know, it's— I don't know what my future is going to hold. But yeah, my wife said, no, I don't want to break up, I'm happy. So, but you had to lose your mobility You know, if it was an accident, you could understand a little bit more, but through an illness like a tumor, it's a huge awakening. It's like I was 20, what, 25 at the time. Scared the hell out of me. I was uncertain of my future. I just didn't know what was going to happen. Um, but it took me a couple of years to get a sort of walk normally, like have a normal gait. Um, so from that, going from, yeah, not being able to move my legs to getting back to walking, it was a huge struggle. And I sort of didn't worry about the future too much. I only worried about that day or the next day. I didn't look years down the track. Um, yeah, so I was looking, you know, to that day or the next day. I didn't want to look any further, right?
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 07:40
Um, we probably couldn't. You said it's an unknown future. Things were completely different. Your perspective was completely changed. And so, yeah, it was kind of the only way to go was just one step at a time, as they say. But I was literally, almost literally, just one step at a time. I'd be really curious, during those dark times, certainly had the support of your partner who, you know, stayed stuck with you. She was committed to that. That's very commendable. But what is it? Do you know what it was? What was that drive to be able to take the next step? What— how did you find that strength? Or why did you keep going?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 08:21
I've struggled my whole life. Like I mentioned before, about my father being chronic alcoholic, very abusive. So I've struggled my whole life, and that's how I sort of lived. It was day to day, you know, never looked too far ahead in the future. I just didn't know my whole life, I didn't know what the future was going to hold. So for me to concentrate on that day or the next day, um, in 1989, it wasn't hard. Sort of used to it, if you know what I mean. I just don't know how to explain it. You just, when you get put in that position, all you want to do is get through that day, get to the next day and get through that day, then get to the next day and get through that day. I think when you first acquire a disability or, you know, an illness, that's what you focus on is what's happening that day, then the next day. You don't sort of have a long-term goal. Well, I didn't anyway.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 09:22
Sure. Yeah, so you just focus on whatever goal that you can just to make sure you take the next step. But yeah, it sounds like you had some goals at the time. Yeah, Jeff, it's a— I'm just fascinated. I'm really fascinated by, uh, there's something to be— the way that you're— you were raised, the way that you live your personality, whatever, that you sound like a very tough person, very strong person, right? You've persevered a lot and you've been able to maintain a positive outlook through some of these things because those— there's some really dark times, there's some real challenges. Um, with that, what are some of the things back then? Yeah, are there some tangible goals that you were looking to? Was it just to stand for a minute as opposed to 10 seconds. But I'd be curious about the tangible goals that, uh, you might have been able to implement for yourself.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 10:20
Well, when the doctor told me I wouldn't walk again, um, I said, oh no, I'm going to walk out of the hospital. And he said, oh, if you say so. And from that day, I used to get the nurse to bring the, um, the walking frame, and at least lift up with my arms and sort of hold myself up and just sort of take the weight off my arms and put on my legs. It took months, and I was determined to take that first step. Um, I did walk out the hospital, but I sort of cheated. I was wheeled down to the front door at St Vincent's Hospital. My uncle parked right at the front door, and I had Mum on one side and my aunt on the other, and I hobbled out and went 5 steps and got in the car. Um, but I promised myself that's what I would do, and I, to my mind, I did do it.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 11:14
You absolutely did. Uh, yeah, I don't think there's anything in this world that we ever do just completely alone. I think we're always interdependent on other people, and I think it's a challenge or a constant struggle of what does it mean to be independent versus interdependent, and getting the most out of life. Who were your supports back then? You talked about your partner when you just left the hospital. You had some other family there right at your side. What other supports? Maybe there were organizational supports, but I'd be curious, what were those supports back then?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 11:52
Well, my main support at that stage was my girlfriend, who's now my wife. We've been together since 1985, married 31 years, so she stuck with me. Um, I gave her 3 chances to opt out, but she decided to stay. So 3 strikes and you're in. Um, I was, I'm, I was very close to a lot of my aunts and uncles, um, and they were a good support. But besides my wife, um When I first came back to Armadale where I live, I had a friend and he's been in a wheelchair since the late '70s. And I think it was about a week after I got home, he rang and he said, 'Oh, can I come around and have a chat with you?' So, 'Yeah, right.' I just— yeah, so he came around the next day, um, and he brought all this information and he asked questions and I asked questions and provided all this information for me. He would have saved me 18 months of going to different government departments and trying to do this and trying— He gave me all the shortcuts. He saved me a lot of time and a lot of, you know, issues. Like, he told me how to put things down and what doctors to see and what organisations to see. He saved me a lot, a lot of time, and all, you know, and we've had a friendship since the early '80s, Steve and I. He's— when I first got back, he was my main support. He's the person I went to for advice, for recommendations, and just to talk to, because there's things that For people who haven't gone what I went through or anything similar, they just don't understand. But my friend, my friend Steve, he's already been through that, you know, 15 years before I did, um, and he was such a great help. We're still friends to this day, right?
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 14:07
Yeah, it really sounds like, uh, what an impressive hero, uh, that he was for you. Probably an unsung hero. In everyday life, but figuring out how to navigate that. You mentioned earlier that the future, how unknown it was in this new way of life. So to have somebody like Steve just sounds completely like a life changer in a very positive way.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 14:30
Well, he was. And all the friends that I thought I had before I got sick, when I got sick and came back home, Steve and some other friends who lived in the next town, away from us. So 3 friends that stuck with me. All the rest didn't want to talk to me, didn't come near me. Yeah. So I thought I had quite a few friends, but turns out only 3 or 4.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 14:56
Yeah, but it sounds like 3 or 4 really, really good ones that were committed. If they're still friends with you today, you're— I loved your comment about, yeah, 3 strikes and you're in for your partner. Yeah, that was a fantastic way to put it. Uh, so, uh, that was a long time ago now, in 1989, and then your development up to then. What were some other things that got you to this point? Later on in the conversation, we'll get to where you're at today and where to next, but what are some other, uh, some really significant milestones or significant events that happened between 1989 and today?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 15:32
In 1992, uh, I contracted MS. Um, that attacked my optic nerves. Um, I woke up one morning, my left eye, the top half was like looking through frosted glass. Time I got to the doctors a couple of days after that, I'd lost the sight in my left eye. Um, about a week later, the same thing happened to my right eye. So I panicked, went straight back down to the doctors. Uh, he got me into a specialist in Tamworth. Um, he didn't know what was going on at that stage because my MS hadn't been diagnosed. Um, got back to my GP and he put me on prednisone. Uh, it was like 5— 2.5 milligrams a day. Um, and that, um, brought my eyesight back. Um, then every few weeks I'd have an attack and my eyesight would go blurry. Then I'd up the prednisone, so I went from 2.5 milligrams a day up to 135 milligrams a day. Um, and after 6 years, I had developed medically induced osteoporosis. Uh, I'd fallen over and broke 2 vertebrae in my back.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 16:57
Yeah, it's okay.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 16:59
Yeah, so, um, from '96 to '98, I'd fractured 8 vertebrae, T4 to T12, um, and they're actually slowly dissolving, slowly disintegrating. So I was in a lot, a lot of back pain. Um, I fell over and broke another 2, um, in '98. Spent a year in bed. My GP said, look, you have to make a decision. He said, you stay in the prednisone and be bedridden and keep what little sight you got left, or you go off the medication, lose your sight, and hopefully get your mobility back. So my wife and I discussed it. We got married in '96. My wife and I just talked about it and we both decided to go off the prednisone, um, and try and get some mobility back. And once I started going down off the prednisone, it's been a week and a half, um, I woke up one morning, you know, it's just total blackness, just completely black. And I thought, oh, middle of the night, so I went back to sleep and woke up again.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 18:15
Makes sense.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 18:17
Yeah, so I woke up again, still black, went back to sleep, woke up again, there was a noise in the kitchen and I said, "What time is it?" She said, "Oh, half past 12 in the afternoon." Oh, that's it, I'm blind, I can't, there's no, there's nothing, there's no light, there's no nothing. She came in and she said, "You're okay?" I said, "Well, as much as I can be." So yeah, so from '92 to '98, um, I really fought really hard to keep what sort I had, um, but the osteoporosis and the 8 vertebrae that fractured and collapsed and disintegrating, and, um, got to the point where, you know, blindness, it was the lesser of two evils. Which it turned out to be. Um, I, I suffer with a lot of back pain to this day. Um, I was on 100 microgram fentanyl patches since 2000. Um, and I went off the fentanyl patches just a couple of years ago. It took me 2 years to get off them. Um, because people who are on that sort of medication for a long time are 20% more likely to develop dementia. Okay, that's what my GP told me, and it scared the hell out of me, so I decided to go off it. So it took me 2 years. I'm still on painkillers, but nowhere near that strong.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 19:53
Yeah, I'm curious. This is, uh, fascinating, Jeff, because you've had more than your fair share of these situations and these life-changing conditions, to make that decision between being bedridden and being in pain versus keeping your eyesight. I have trouble deciding what I want for breakfast in the morning. How do you go about making that decision? It sounds like it was pretty clear at the end, but how do you go about making that decision?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 20:22
Well, when you're in so much pain, it hurt literally painful to breathe, you know you've got to do something. Um, and I knew that, that the osteoporosis was because of the prednisone, um, and I need to get off it, um, for my long-term health. Um, it wasn't just my decision, it was my wife as well. You know, we talked about it quite a bit. And it was harder on her than it was for me.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 20:56
Really?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 20:56
Because she was the one— yeah, well, she was the one that had to go to work, then come home and help me, and go back to work, and come home and help me, and go back to work. So yeah, it was— I often think, you know, for a lot of people, um, it's harder for the family because they've got to sit back, watch you go through these things, and there's nothing they can do about it.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 21:16
Well, there is something they could do. They could leave and, uh, Yeah, try to ignore it. But like you said, that they chose to stick with it. And yeah, to me, that's just so impressive to— yeah, for them to be in this situation. Like you said, it sounds really, really challenging. The people that I know that have been in other situations like that, that the people around there, they're really impressive heroes as well. I can't— I guess I'd love to hear some of their stories too in the future. Um, but yeah, we're all involved in this, aren't we? We're all in this together.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 21:54
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, your comment before, um, one of my good friends who I mentioned before, their sister-in-law said, oh, if that was my husband, I'd divorce him, be like looking after another child. Um, so I was thinking, thank God I'm not married to you, right? Um, Yeah, but I live in country New South Wales, and, and, you know, the attitudes are probably 30 years behind those people in Sydney and Melbourne. You know, just, you know, people with disabilities shouldn't be seen or heard. That's changed now with the NDIS. Um, sure. Yeah.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 22:32
So, yeah, that's why I'm loving having this conversation, uh, yeah, with you, getting your perspective, um, as time's changed. I think that the message of what life is like for somebody with a disability is very real, very genuine. It needs to be heard because it's something that we could all benefit from. So I'm really, really enjoying hearing your story on this.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 22:56
What—
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 22:57
tell more, just tell more about the— I want to hear more about the journey too, from after 1998. What has life been like since then?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 23:06
It's been hard. There's always things that pop up you don't expect. I had a really good friend, a really, really good friend, he's a quadriplegic, and in 2001 he went to Royal North Shore for a checkup, and where he broke his neck, a cyst grew and They told me once it comes back, you know, it's going to stop your breathing and we have to put you on a respirator. And he had a living will saying, I don't want to be kept alive on a respirator. Anyway, um, he went to Sydney, uh, and he, yeah, he passed away down there because the, the cyst burst. Um, and they wouldn't— they put him on the respirator for a little while, but they took him off it And just after that is when, you know, that was a straw for me that broke the camel's back. I hit depression really hard, really, really hard. I self-harmed, I'd overdose. I thought I was coping with everything that happened in the past up to that point, but I think I was just in denial. And when my friend died, Um, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and that's when I suffered really severe depression, uh, and that lasted a couple of years. So that, that in itself was mentally the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 24:38
Sure. Well, you'd gone through a lot, even though, yeah, you had support. Um, it sounds like you're tough as nails, uh, going through that. That's so much for anybody to deal with, and Said life isn't easy. So when you do have these types of events that happen, yeah, our bodies could only take so much. So you went into depression, you had some really dark times. Sounds like you got through that as well. So just another element that, yeah, you persevered, you found the strength to at least take the next step forward. And, uh, yeah, you're still moving forward. So there's something that goes back to my earlier question. There's something there that continues to drive, continues to drive you to want to do more, want to do better, to take the next step. So this is really fascinating to hear.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 25:33
I just did, um, I struggled my whole life, so that's all I've really known. Yeah, I'm 61 now. I've had 4 really fantastic years, and that was from 1985 to '89 when I first met my wife, until I first ended up with a tumor. So 4 great years there to 61, you know, but everything went really well. There was no problems popped up or anything. Then all of a sudden, just nosedive, and I said, oh, here we go again. Um, but you know, it's It's not uncommon. I know a lot of people who've gone through their own issues who've had just as hard time, if not harder, than, you know, what I've been through. Um, and they've come out the other side just as strong, if not stronger.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 26:25
I've seen it as well. That's a— it's amazing. I love, I love talking to those people as well. Uh, but I also don't want to discount Gosh, the stuff that you're going through that you're talking about, Jeff, I've had my own experiences, but I still find it very challenging to be able to imagine just what it's like to have those significant events and multiple ones that change your body in such a dramatic way, that change how life is lived in such a dramatic way. So, uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm just trying to imagine what that would be like, and it's really, really hard to without having gone through it myself.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 27:08
No, and if people haven't gone through it, I think it's hard for people who haven't gone through it to try and fully understand what it's— not just what it's like, what you have to go through to get through each day. You know, just getting through one day is an achievement. Then getting up the next day is another achievement. It's just putting one foot in front of the other and just trying to get through the day.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 27:36
Yeah, absolutely. And as you put one foot in front of the other and you make progress, then there's also those days that, you know, you feel like you get knocked back. Two steps forward, one step back. Or maybe it's one step forward, five steps back, what it feels like. Is there anything that you do to celebrate the little victories? Um, like you said, when you walked out of the hospital, it was monumental. 5 maybe small steps, but it's very, very significant. What do you do to celebrate some of those things?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 28:06
Um, 2009, I was up in Queensland, um, with some family members, and I went and bought a bottle of champagne and put it on the table. So that 20 years today since I got the tumor in the spinal cord. So we all had to drink the champagne. Um, yeah, so, and it's— I lost my sight in '98, so, you know, when 2028 comes around, I'll, you know, do the same thing.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 28:39
We're less than 3 years— we're 3 years from that, so, uh, yeah, it's well within— it's well within reach.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 28:44
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's, it's been— yeah, I mean, after, yeah, going through that depression, um, you know, I broke my back a couple more times. I actually sneezed and broke a vertebrae.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 29:02
Um, it's an impressive sneeze.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 29:04
Oh yeah, yeah, I just— I, I sort of one of those people that hold a sneeze in. Um, probably something I shouldn't do with a osteoporosis, but I'd sneeze and I'd go, oh, can't breathe. So I got up, went and laid down, and my wife came home. She called the doctor and he come and he said, ah, now you got to hospital. I went, no. He said, you blew around the lips, you're not breathing. I said, well, it hurts. He said, yeah, you're going to hospital. So they hit me up some morphine, got me on the ambulance, and took me to hospital for a week and a half. Um, yeah, so Those little things pop up all the time. About 4 or 5 years ago, I slipped in the shower and broke my left hip, broke the neck of the femoral head. I was laying in the shower, banged on the wall. My wife come down, she said, "Oh, what's wrong?" I said, "Oh, I've fallen over." She said, "I can't open the door." I said, "Just push it and slide." So she opened the door and looked in. She said, "What are you doing down there?" Well, I fell over, so I either dislocated my hip or I broke it. She said, what do you want me to do? Get me a towel. So I got a towel and sort of dried myself off and put undies on and dragged myself out into the bedroom. And the paramedics came, he said, nah, he said, you've broken it. He said, your hip's down here and it should be up here. So yeah, that was an interesting 9 months getting over that. I had a steel rod put in, a couple screws. Then earlier this year, open heart surgery. I had to get an artery repaired. The valve wasn't closing, so it was pumping blood both ways. Um, I— my wife was on the phone to the cardiologist, the surgeon, and they're trying to say, what about the 11th of March? Can we do a week later? And I went, and I'll come out that stage, and I bent over and patted my daughter's dog. I stood up and nearly passed out. I said, you better make it the 11th, I'm not going to make the 7/8.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 31:09
Well, glad you did. Glad you kept it at the 11th.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 31:16
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But look, it's been a long hard road. Um, some funny things happen. Um, You know, when I first lost my sight, the first time I ever went out on my own, I went downtown and I worked my way to this taxi rank. You know those park benches they have at the taxi ranks? Yeah, the wooden set. So I sat down there and I was waiting for a taxi and felt somebody sit down beside me. And there you go, not bad as yourself. So what are you doing? Just been doing a bit of shopping. He gets up and says, can you hang on, I'm at the bloke beside me, since I'm talking to him. So, you know, um, and when I, I got my guide dog, um, uh, we were walking down the mall, um, and somebody distracted him. So he's looking at this person and he wasn't watching where he was walking. I mean, I walked face first into a steel pole and all you could hear was this clang. Oh my gosh.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 32:17
Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, maybe not funny at the time, but yeah, that's a great story.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 32:23
Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, as hard as it was, there's things that happen that, you know, makes you laugh, you know.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 32:33
Jeff, you've had a lot of experiences, a lot of things to grow from, a lot of things to persevere, and you know So in your 61 years, um, it sounds like you've been through a lot of that yourself, but it sounds like you really have a desire to help others who have been going through similar situations. Um, you've had people that have helped you. Uh, what are some of the things that, you know, you want to do to give back? I know, I know some from our conversations, but yeah, just share a little bit about what you're doing with the experiences that you've been through.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 33:05
Well, as I've mentioned, my friend Steve, who helped me when I first got back, um, I wanted to give back. I wanted to do the same thing, so I joined the, uh, our local Access Committee, um, in 2000, 2001. Um, we, the Access Committee, wanted to have a capped clear accessible path of travel through the CBD, um, because of all the A-frame signs up against the wall and display tables. And, you know, if you're a cane user, they're just obstacles. Um, so for 10 years we tried to negotiate with Council and Chamber of Commerce, and they— no, no, no, not moving them, they're staying where they are. Um, the Access Committee decided that they couldn't do anymore, so I kept going with it personally. I actually took my Council to Human Rights Commission. Um, we had the conciliation up here in Armadale. The then mayor said, oh well, we'll go and get our own expert legal advice, which they did do, and it came back. Um, so I went to a council meeting and one of the councillors got up and said, oh, can't go into detail because it was a letter, but basically we were told if this goes to federal court, we'll lose, and that, you know, Mr. Parker has a barrister pro bono to take it to federal court. Um, so they end up moving them out, all the signs, and they have a clear accessible path of travel there for everyone now, which is really good.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 34:39
Nice. And is that still in place?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 34:41
Yes. Yes. Oh yeah, they won't take that back. Um, they'll be too scared. So, uh, um, yeah, so where I live now, I have three hats. I have an— I'm an advocate an activist or troublemaker, you take your pick.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 35:00
Um, what can I ask? Which one's the most fun out of all those?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 35:06
Uh, I think combination of activist and troublemaker.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 35:10
Yeah, because I've learned it's about right.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 35:13
Yeah, what— yeah, all right, you've got to try and negotiate, but it comes a point where negotiations aren't going to work and you've got to push back hard. Really hard. And that's what I do now. I try and negotiate with, you know, different things and try and talk to people. And if they're not going to change their mind or change their attitude, then, you know, um, I'll be more, um, as I put it, um, I'm more— I confront them a lot more than I used to. Um, I started the YouTube channel a couple of years ago called Blind Advocate. Um, I've got like 145 videos up in there, and I've interviewed a lot of people. Um, the Assistant Police Commissioner, Professor John Gilroy, who teaches, lectures at Sydney University on Aboriginal health and disabilities. Um, do a lot of stuff on the NDIS, of course, through my YouTube channel. Um, people are ringing me up asking for help, you know, from you know, far north Queensland down to Victoria, um, and I help as much as I can. So I learned that through my friend Steve, that to give back, um, giving back is, um, really, really important because we need to let people know just because you have a disability doesn't mean you can't do things. It just means you've got to do things a different way.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 36:46
Yeah, absolutely.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 36:48
So absolutely, yeah. So that's really important, that YouTube channel. Um, I fund that myself. Um, unfortunately, you know, the cost of living now, it's getting a bit pricey, and I can't really afford to do, um, the better quality stuff with the streaming. But yeah, um, I do it, I do as much as I can, and if somebody needs help and They ask for it, I'm always here.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 37:14
Yeah, I mean, you have a lot to offer with not only your experience but your drive, you know, to keep going, put one foot in front of the other, but really to make a difference. So I know that there's people out there that need the help that aren't able to do it on their own. And so to have somebody like you doing that is quite important. What are some of the things that you think that you can give from your experience for the people out there? You said you're an advocate, you have the YouTube channel. Is there anything specific that you're trying to help them with?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 37:50
Ah, the NDIS. That's a huge, huge issue for a lot of people. And with the changes last year, people are having their funding slashed and having services cut.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 38:03
Yeah, just for— because there is going to be some listeners from outside of Australia, uh, they'll be listening to this. Uh, can you explain what is the NDIS for those people who are not in Australia?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 38:15
Yeah, well, the NDIS is National Disability Insurance Scheme, um, and it helps people with disabilities get back into the community, uh, into recreational and social activities, and back into the workforce as well, um, by providing appropriate supports, providing adaptive technology, Whatever the person needs, the NDIS is supposed to be there to help. It's been good in a lot of ways, and a lot of ways it's really failed. And it hasn't failed because of the people with disabilities. It's failed from the CEOs and the senior management at the NDIS and every government that comes into power. You know, they've really messed it up.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 38:58
Yeah, that's really a challenge when you have the outside support. But it seems like the people with the disability, you said it hasn't failed because of them. What are you seeing in your experience with other people with disability to band together? You're a great advocate. Are you just a one-man show? Are you just a one-person show having to do it by yourself? Is there a community that rallies around this together. What's that like?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 39:29
I've been approached by someone to stand, you know, federal election, which I didn't do. This area is, you know, really National Party area, Barnaby Joyce. He's really good, actually, quite like him a lot. You know, it's, yeah, it's Yeah, I don't know. It's— yeah, there's a lot of things, uh, with the NDIS and people with disabilities. It's, it's this, but it's this to help people, but it's— it was when it first came out. It's now not. Um, I, I believe that the, uh, the NDIS should be run like Centrelink is. And I think that government needs to step back, not try and run it. They actually need to come in as auditors and regulators to make sure everyone's doing the right thing, not to, not to be a co-pilot.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 40:34
Yeah, it's, uh, well, it's from my understanding that the NDIS is one of the first in the world, um, of the type of scheme that it is, so it came without a blueprint. They're trying to figure it out as it goes. But hopefully in the years to come, hopefully not only Australia, but hopefully other countries and governments figure out a way to more effectively provide for people with disability and support them to live more integrated lives.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 41:02
Yeah, well, I speak to— I go on different YouTube channels and I spoke to people, yeah, the US, the UK, Canada. And especially in the UK and Canada, they ask me what the NDIS is like. I said, well, it's like the National Health Service in the UK, but for people with disabilities. You know, it's there to help people. Um, that's what the NDIS is supposed to do. Um, and it has, um, you know, like 19% of the workforce of the NDIS have a disability, which is fantastic. However, yeah, little things keep going— not little things— keep going wrong with it. And I think media and journalists and the politicians are to blame for that. They— I've got to keep telling, reminding people that the people with disabilities don't get the money in their bank account. They've got to send invoices off and get the NDIS to pay for it, or they pay for it and and get reimbursed by the NDIS. So we don't actually see that money, touch that money, or have that money in our accounts. It's all done through fund managers and through the NDIS. So that's a big misconception from a lot of people, and I blame that on journalists and the media.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 42:22
Yeah, those, uh, through your different avenues and through the different things that you're doing, it sounds like, uh, yeah, you're doing what you can to address that What's— is there anything next for you with your advocacy, with what you're doing? And yeah, what's next? What do you want to still do to help yourself or others in this area?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 42:44
Look, I do a lot of research. I've gone into deep dives into different things, and I put that information out. Sometimes I get people contact me about the information I put out, and I always make my— try to make myself available as much as I can, because, you know, the people who turn to me and ask for help, they don't know where to go. Yeah, they don't know who to ask for help. Um, you can't get help from the NDIS. You really can't. Because you can ring up the NDIS and speak to 4 different people, ask the same question, you know, 4 times to 4 different people, and you get 4 different answers. So, but I think for me, in the long— in the next few years, um, before I really start to slow down, I want to make things easier so the people who following our footsteps don't have to go through all the stuff that we go through. Because, yeah, we're the ones leading the way. We have to make it easy for those who follow us. And I don't want to see, you know, young people having to spend their whole lives fighting for everything that other people take for granted.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 44:12
Yeah, very well said. And that's the truth of the matter, that, yes, there's so many things that people take for granted on a daily basis. And sounds like you might have taken that for granted too before 1989 with the physical things. Certainly we all have our different situations. But now looking back from 1989 to now, wanting to move forward, wanting to give back, etc. Is there anything that you wish you would have done differently?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 44:47
Yeah, I wish I'd have left my eyesight go in '92 and not have, you know, 8 fractured vertebrae, because that really impacts my quality of life. A lot of pain all the time, nonstop, every 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's a lot of pain.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 45:05
Yeah, that chronic pain. I would— I think of eyesight, one of the most significant things. If I were to lose my eyesight, how challenging that would be. I rarely think if I was in pain, how would that change? But you're exactly right about the impact of that.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 45:20
Yeah, well, I've been asked that question so many times, you know, would you rather have the pain or your eyesight? Well, I'd rather not have pain, but, you know, I can live without the eyesight, but living with the pain, it's a completely different thing. And it's like the last 20 years, you know, for people who are totally blind or vision impaired, things have gotten so much better. You know, like with the audio description on TV and movies, that's, you know, it's opened up a whole new world. Screen readers, computers, you know, when I first lost my sight that was only just starting to happen. You know, I can still remember in, um, '69 when, yeah, man landed on the moon. I can just remember it. Yeah, I can remember sitting up with my family at like midnight or 1 o'clock, whatever it was, you know, watching that black and white TV and, yeah, people landing on the moon. From that to what we have today. It's— I never dreamed of these sorts of things when I was a kid. Never.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 46:29
I don't know how you would, right? It's just so, so different, so advanced.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 46:35
Absolutely. Yeah. And, um, there's a thing in Melbourne a few years ago with the CSIRO or putting implants, um, back of people's head, um, and they'd run, um, you wear glasses and they'd run a camera and it goes to the back of your head into the implant and you can see outlines of things. And I applied to get it and they said I could do it, but I have to move to Melbourne 2 to 3 years and go to, you know, get tested every second day. I can't do that. But, you know, those sorts of things. What's it going to be like in 10 years, 20 years, 50 years down the track? You know, self-driving cars. Hop in the car, hop in the car, just go downtown. It's just, yeah, we're just coming so far so quick. It's just, I, I struggle to keep up with the technology, I really do. Um, and I remember my parents were the same way, you know, just basic stuff when I was growing up. How could you not know that? And now it's, um, I've got a 25-year-old daughter I turn to, you know, help with the technology stuff. She's all, bloody old people and technology, you don't mix.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 47:57
Well, they're right, they don't, but they, they have to these days, um, right?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 48:02
Yeah.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 48:02
And then you have the little, little ones who are 2 or 3 years old and they're using a mobile phone or a tablet, um, just as well as as anybody.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 48:12
So yeah, yeah, we've come so far in the last 20 years. It's just, for me, it's mind-blowing. It really is. Um, but I sort of bit jealous, you know, if I was in my 20s and I was, you know, 2025 and I was 25 years old, what are the next 50 years going to look like for me? Yeah, if I was 25 years old now It's just that, you know, there's no, no limit to it. Yeah, you look at AI.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 48:44
Yeah, yeah, it's a whole— that's a whole conversation. It's a whole, uh, it's a whole bunch of conversations that could go around that. Uh, well, just speaking of that technology and keep just keeping up, I am curious, uh, your YouTube channel, um, the different things that you're doing online. Without your vision, I've been able to do that. How does that work? Can you walk us through just what it's like to, uh, just maybe even one episode?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 49:12
Well, I, um, unfortunately the application, the software that I use, uh, it's not fully accessible, so I have to get someone sighted to do that for me. Uh, like bring people up from the basement into the room for an interview. Um, I've got to get a support worker to do that for me. Um, research— I've got a MacBook Pro. Um, I used to have a, like, a Microsoft computer, and I had a program called JAWS.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 49:42
Yeah, I'm familiar with it.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 49:44
Yep. Uh, really good. I just couldn't have— couldn't afford the, um, $100 a year updates. So I thought, oh well, with the MacBooks, they have the screen reader built in. I'll do that. And they were really good. But the last few years, MacBooks are terrible if you need a screen reader. Very limiting. Um, it's not accessible with Adobe, so you've got anything in the PDF file, I can't read it. I can't read it. It's not accessible. Everybody uses, you know, PDF files, so I've got to get people to copy and paste out of a Word document into the body of an email.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 50:30
Um, hi. Yeah, I learned something there. I knew that, uh, you know, maybe 5 or 6 years ago they were not, but I, uh, I presumed that most screen readers, you know, in the past 2 years would be reading a PDF. So that's a, yeah, something new to me that a lot of them are still not readable by screen readers.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 50:48
Well, JAWS is, as far as I know, but it's just the MacBook Pro with VoiceOver. It's not compatible with Adobe and PDF files. Um, yeah, look, if the websites aren't laid out properly and labeled properly, that's, um, you know, screen readers no help. I'll give you an example. Armadale Council, where I live, they just done their website up And I said, look, you really need to get someone who's blind who uses a screen reader to go and check it before you, you know, finalize it all. I said, oh yeah, we'll give you a call, we'll give you a call. And then, because I need Martin, the new website's up. So I went in there, look, and it says, if you want to have a look at this, click here. And I'm going, where's the link? Where's— and it's My support worker pointed out, it's— you have to click on the word 'here.' There's no link, it's just a word 'here.' But how do I know? Because it doesn't tell you there's no link there, you know.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 51:58
Frustrating.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 51:59
It is. And I went back and told Council, it still hasn't changed. So, you know, what do you do? Yeah, that's the thing. But this Yeah, so there's JAWS, there's VoiceOver, um, Microsoft have one that's built in, um, and there's a free one called NVDA, which is pretty good too. That's in Australia.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 52:19
I don't know that one.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 52:21
Okay, yes, that's a freebie that you can get there for free, and it's two Australian blokes wrote it, and that's used all around the world as well.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 52:29
Ah, so it sounds, Jeff, that as accessible or as great as technology is, as advanced as we are, we're never there at the final destination, right? It's a, it's a constant journey. As new technology comes about, there's a— it has to become made accessible. It continually has to be made accessible as it advances.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 52:52
Absolutely. I mean, the software is capable of doing it. It's just the people who install the software on their servers aren't doing it correctly. And we have laws that say they have to. Disability Discrimination Act. If you're going to provide a service, you're going to make it accessible. But my support worker I was just talking about, he used to work for the Privacy Commissioner in the IT department, so he's a really good asset to have. But, um, it's just that the people who put the software onto the servers who aren't making it— the software, it's itself, it's fine. It's the people who are installing it who are not doing their jobs properly.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 53:36
Yeah, it's a part of that is education, right? Having these conversations, letting people know, and then holding them accountable for the things that they're supposed to do. But, um, yeah, I have to say, Geoff, I hate to say it, your work's not done yet, right? Uh, we still need your help.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 53:53
Yeah, I don't think it'll ever be done. I think we're always going to have these problems. Hopefully we can minimize it so future people don't have to go through what we're going through. But yeah, until we get to that part in society where everyone's equal and there's equal access, then we're going to have to keep pushing the agenda.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 54:16
Yeah, Geoff, we've covered quite a bit during the conversation. What have I missed? What have I not asked that you want to talk about?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 54:27
I think we pretty well covered it. It's just, you know, when people go through these, when they first acquire a disability, it's the general information that they need. But it's also the hiccups that you can face along the way. Sometimes they can be just as hard as a major issue. You know, it's— Centrelink is, you know, they're really hard to deal with. You know, last time I rang up Centrelink, I was on the phone for 3 and a half hours on wait. Um, then when somebody went to answer, I accidentally cut off. So I thought, I'm not doing this again today. So I rang the next day and I was another 3 hours. So, um, those sorts of things that can be really, really frustrating, and it can push people past the breaking point. They don't know how to cope. They don't know how to deal with it. Now, I go to different support groups, um, like MS Support Group. I used to go to a cancer support group. Um, I used to go and sit there and I listened to other people. I didn't contribute that much, but I'd go and just sit there and listen. To other people. And then after the meeting, I'd try and get somebody's attention and, you know, talk to them a bit further, ask them questions. So if somebody's out there with a newly acquired disability or health issue, go for those support groups. You don't have to contribute, you can just sit back and listen, and then you get more information that way than any other way, in my opinion.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 56:06
Uh, and I think that's a really good point. How important, how important is the support of others just throughout all of these situations and today? How important is it to know that there's others out there that both have gone through it, something similar, or that you're supporting? But just, I'm really curious, how important is it that you go through this with others and you're not alone?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 56:34
Oh, it's absolutely essential. It is. It's, um, I have a friend who was born with cerebral palsy, and, um, he doesn't like being stared at. He gets really upset with it because of his mobility. Um, and I just say to him, look, that's their issue and that's not yours. You're doing what you need to do to get through the day. Don't focus on them, focus on yourself. Um, being there for other people and supporting other people, or having people support you— without that, um, I did an interview a couple of months ago with Carers Australia. I spoke to the CEO of Carers Australia. Carers save the government, in their estimations, $100 billion a year. $100 billion to carers, save the government and taxpayers. Yeah, and what do they get in return? Pucker rule. They get no supports. They get very little back as far as— like, my wife gets a, um, carer's allowance, which doesn't cover much at all. Yeah, not having those support workers and those carers around, life would be so much harder. Um, that's why I do it. One of the reasons I do what I do is that I want to help other people so they don't have to go and fall through the cracks or become so frustrated they give up and walk away. Supporters, you know, support workers and carers and family and friends, and they're absolutely essential. They really are. They're underestimated and underappreciated by the government. I think the government should be doing a lot more to help carers and support workers. Yeah, getting that support— put those supports around yourself. You need to do it. You can't do everything by yourself. If you're dealing with health issues or mobility issues Sometimes you need help. Sometimes you need a hand, and it's okay to reach out and ask for help. You know, when I first got sick, it's not something that I would, would have even considered. Um, but after going, you know, a few years down the track of what I've been through, I rely on that support now. I really do. There's a lot of support that I rely on, and I try to be as independent as much as I can, but without those supports, my life would be a thousand times harder.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 59:20
Hey, well, what a journey, what a journey, Geoff. As we bring this to a close, I just want to say I've really enjoyed the conversation. But hearing what you've been through since 1989, being a, you know, very active, strong, really physically strong person to having a tumor that came out of nowhere, pretty much, uh, left you paralyzed from the waist down, um, changed life. Then you had osteoporosis, and then you had, uh, the blindness, uh, constant pain, um, one thing after another that— and that's on top, Jeff, that's on top of living everyday life. So it's not just like everything else stops while you go through this. That's addition, and that is now part of your everyday life. So to go through that, and for me to see that you've just had a really positive outlook, uh, and you're really something to give back, I've really, really appreciated this conversation and really appreciate what you're doing. So, uh, yeah, any, any closing words that you want to share as we bring it to a close?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 1:00:34
Yeah, you don't have to— you know, if you nearly acquired disability or you have ongoing issues, you don't have to be alone. You don't. There's support services out there. There are people— get people around you that you can rely on. It's really important. And just to get through the day, just put one foot in front of the other and just get through the day. Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. It's until you get to the point where you get your independence back and you get your mobility back, or as best as you can, and just, yeah, just do your best just to get through the day. It's all I can say is life's hard, it's never easy, but It's only as easy as you want to make it. That's what I was once told. You know, you can do things the hard way, you can do things, you know, reach out and get some help and do them a lot easier than doing it by yourself.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 1:01:38
Yeah, very, very, very, very true. Very, very true. Um, yeah, and yeah, great words. Just lastly, if somebody did want to, wanted to reach out, uh, to you either with our story or, uh, you needed some guidance in some way, uh, is there a way that people can connect with you?
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 1:01:59
Yeah, I have a, um, like I said, with the YouTube channel, I have an email associated that is, uh, all one word, lowercase. It's blindadvocate007@gmail.com, and I will respond to you within a couple days.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 1:02:15
All right. Well, with that, I just want to thank you again, Geoff, for your time sharing your story and the support that you give to others and just for genuinely being yourself. Because yeah, through this, we all need each other and we're all in this together. So thank you so much.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 1:02:34
And thank you for having me and for, you know, for shining the light on everything that you do. That people go through. Without people like yourself and your organization, um, things would be a lot different if we didn't have people like you.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 1:02:53
Yeah, well, thank you. Yep, we're all in this together.
Jeff Parker (Guest) · 1:02:57
Exactly. Thank you.
Daniel Dougherty (Host) · 1:03:01
Thank you for listening to this episode of Golden Threads. We hope this story of resilience resonated with you in some way. To make this podcast available to more listeners, please leave a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts and hit follow or subscribe. You can also visit kintsugiheroes.com.au to make a tax-deductible donation to help us share future stories of strength and hope. Remember, we're all in this together.
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