Sharna Teresa Bowers · 55 min
Sexually abused as a child and pushed to the edge of suicide, Sharna Teresa Bowers rebuilt her identity from the ground up, and is now creating a physical healing sanctuary so traumatised children never have to suffer as long as she did.
Hear this story
Sharna Teresa Bowers was sexually abused by a family member starting at age 12. For years, she buried what had happened, carrying the weight in her body: panic attacks daily, insomnia, an inability to eat. She stopped trusting men. She stopped trusting herself. She spent her high school years alone, focused on survival, wrestling with suicidal thoughts that she pushed back against because of the impact it would have on her parents.
At university, Sharna hit a breaking point. She wanted to give up on everything. A friend told her about energy healing, and though Sharna had grown up atheist and skeptical, she went to prove the friend wrong. Instead, she found something that talking therapy had not opened: a way to feel the emotions her body had been storing since childhood. Through somatic work, she began to release what had been locked inside her. A five-year engagement ending forced her to stop being a chameleon and claim her own identity. She discovered who she actually was underneath the fear.
Now Sharna works as a holistic coach, using techniques like Emotional Change Technique to help people clear trauma from their nervous system and reclaim their power. She is building Kindred Spirits, a not-for-profit healing sanctuary where children who have experienced trauma can access tools and healing immediately, so they do not have to suffer as long as she did. Her purpose is clear: to help people move out of their pain and into their power, and to make sure they know they do not have to do it alone.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation and suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au • 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
“I was sexually abused by my stepgrandfather and that led me to have a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression and a really lack low lack of selfworth.”
“There were so many times where I wanted to end it all. And I just kept going. I knew the devastating impact it would have on my family. I just kept pushing for them when I couldn't do it for myself.”
“No matter what you're going through, there is so much opportunity for it to get better. You don't have to do it alone. There are so many people who are willing to support you if you just let them.”
The hero, today
Sharna Teresa Bowers learned to overcome fear and self-doubt by doing the somatic work that allowed her to feel the emotions her body had been storing since childhood, rather than continuing to suppress them. She did not have to do her healing alone: therapists, counselors, and psychologists provided resources, but it was energy healing that opened a path that felt accessible to her, and that shift came from her friend showing up to share what had worked. When someone who has lived through the same darkness talks to you and has come out the other side, they become a lighthouse: they are living proof that it is possible to move forward. Sharna Teresa Bowers chose to go through what happened to her because it taught her how to build habits, how to love herself, and it pushed her to discover what she is really here for and to make an impact. Creating a safe, regulated space where people feel seen and heard matters more than fixing them: her goal as a coach is to empower others so they do not need her anymore.
Yes. Sharna Teresa Bowers is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Sharna Teresa Bowers learned to overcome fear and self-doubt by doing the somatic work that allowed her to feel the emotions her body had been storing since childhood, rather than continuing to suppress them.
She did not have to do her healing alone: therapists, counselors, and psychologists provided resources, but it was energy healing that opened a path that felt accessible to her, and that shift came from her friend showing up to share what had worked.
When someone who has lived through the same darkness talks to you and has come out the other side, they become a lighthouse: they are living proof that it is possible to move forward.
John Milham (Host) · 00:05
Welcome back to Kintsugi Heroes, helping people tell the stories they need to share so you can find the stories that you need to hear.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 00:15
In this episode, John Millum is joined by Sharna Teresa Bowers. Sharna Teresa faced deep personal challenges and uncertainty in her early life. Through hard work, self-discovery, and the support of those around her, Sharna learned to overcome fear self-doubt and now uses her experience to guide others as a mentor and community leader. She founded Kindred Spirits, which has a vision to create a healing sanctuary for children who have experienced trauma. We hope you enjoy this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.
John Milham (Host) · 00:52
Ladies and gentlemen and fans of the Kintsugi Heroes podcast, today, um, I join you, um, enthusiastically talking to a young person. Now, I'm old enough to believe that, you know, to call this young Sharnna a young person, but I'm not too old to remember and even sort of, you know, identify slightly with the challenge, you know, growing up in and finding your way in the modern world represents. So Sharnna Teresa, welcome to Kunsigi Heroes: Stories That Matter.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 01:28
Thank you so much for having me, John. I'm really excited to be here.
John Milham (Host) · 01:32
Yeah. And we're diving in to explore a bit of your story, Sharna. You are a holistic coach, right? Which I'm fascinated with. Just to lay the groundwork, because of course it's about me, is I'm a coach. I have been a coach educator in the past, right? And as a coach, And now I'm just a, you know, sort of annoying old bloke who bothers people online. But I'm fascinated by coaching and mentoring and the process of giving back. So tell me, Shona, why, how did you find the idea? Where did you know you were a holistic coach?
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Sharna Teresa Bowers chose to go through what happened to her because it taught her how to build habits, how to love herself, and it pushed her to discover what she is really here for and to make an impact.
This conversation includes a breaking point at university, sexual abuse by a family member, finding purpose in the wound, the cost of betrayal by someone meant to protect, somatic practices unlock what talking did not and a five-year relationship ends and she stops pretending.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 02:23
So my journey begins kind of a long time ago. Growing up, I was sexually abused by my step-grandfather, and that led me to have a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, and a really lack— low lack of self-worth. And for years, I really avoided doing the healing work until one day I got to my breaking point. I wanted to give up on literally everything. My job, my uni degree, um, my hobbies, life essentially. And that's when my friend told me about her crazy experience with an energy healer. And I didn't believe her, so I went to prove her wrong. Because my world, I grew up atheist, so you live, you die, that's it. And when I went, I had visions and sensations that I could not explain, and it really opened my world up. Because after I told my parents 4 years later after it started happening, they did all the right things. They took me to Child Protective Services, to therapists, counselors, psychologists, all of them, and I just found it didn't work for me in my— so the energy healing really opened up that holistic route. So I dove in there. The more I went, the more my own gifts started unlocking and I got into energy healing and then my energy healing coach was also doing NLP, ECT, hypnosis, and I was like, well, this is so new too. Let's keep going. And then I got my accreditations and that's how I get to where I am now.
John Milham (Host) · 04:08
The Maya Angelou, I've used this quote a few times. Maya Angelou says, if you want to find purpose, look to your wound. Is that Does that ring true for you?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 04:19
Oh, definitely. That's my whole purpose, to help people move out of their pain and into their power.
John Milham (Host) · 04:27
I'm sorry to, uh, to hear of your background. Is it okay if I ask you a question around? Yeah, because you, you so, you know, bravely and, um, and openly just, you know, um, offered that lived experience and really appreciate that because it's, you know, it's so such an incredible impost, an incredible impact on people's lives, right? And yet we, you know, it's not a safe topic of conversation mostly. So, um, where are you on that? Are you okay sharing, um, you know, the, you know, obviously not the, you know, the specifics, but the, the, the cost of that, the pro, you know, the, the consequence of that.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 05:13
Yeah, 100%. I'm open to talk about it because I find that the education around it is so important. Because as a child, I didn't know it was a thing that could happen. So I want to help empower parents, other people who've lived through it, to know that it is a thing that can happen, and this is the effects of it, and how to overcome So outside of, you know, the horrendous, you know, kind of physical side of that betrayal, what for you was the enduring, you know, um, negativity?
John Milham (Host) · 05:52
What, what, you know, what, what, what, what were the consequences of being, of having someone you were meant to trust, you know, me, you know, and meant to be able to be supported and, and cared for by? Um, you know, really, you know, being the person who's hurting you. How, what, what does that mean for people?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 06:12
So for me, my sense of trust obviously was broken. Every man in my life I was deeply afraid of. I completely shut down. I wouldn't let people touch me for years. I had panic attacks daily. I couldn't sleep. I would never get a full night's sleep during exam time during high school. I couldn't eat. Anytime I'd try and eat, it would just come up because I was that stressed. Wow. And I was underweight, borderline anorexic for quite a long time. And I also looked to other people eventually to start seeking my own value. Cause it had been taken away by someone else.
John Milham (Host) · 07:02
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 07:03
I could get it back through others, seeking external validation. And at the same time, being so afraid of being seen that I would mold myself to suit whatever somebody wanted.
John Milham (Host) · 07:18
Wow. So when you're in that situation, when you're like, it sounds to me almost like Your identity is stolen by the perpetrator, right? Is that what it feels like?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 07:35
Yeah. So, uh, 100%. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 07:39
What were the steps, um, that helped you? Like, you, you talk about finding, you know, some, you know, going through healing processes, right? What did you have to do to, to, to, to make this better?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 07:55
The thing that specifically helped me the most was doing somatic practices, so dropping into the body and letting myself feel the emotions that I couldn't feel at the time these events happened. Because when it was happening, I just went into freeze. My body just stored all this emotion that I'd been carrying for years, and every time another stressful event would come up the feelings would come up again to be felt, and I'll just stuff them down because everyone says, you know, fuck it up.
John Milham (Host) · 08:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it like? You've had a— it was an extended family member that was, you know, that was involved in your betrayal. What, what were the people, you know, around you who you would normally look to for safety or whatever? What, you know, like parents and stuff? What was, what was happening with them? Why were they not able to see or respond?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 08:52
Hmm. There was a bit of distance between this family member and us, so they would move around a lot, so we didn't see them quite often. And at the same time, I didn't know it was a thing that could happen.
John Milham (Host) · 09:09
Yeah. Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 09:11
As a 12-year-old, when it first started, I, yeah, had no concept of this as a thing that happened. So how could I tell someone? How would they believe me? And it's interesting in my healing journey as well, I've uncovered some suppressed memories from even earlier on, which is a whole other rabbit hole to go down. So there's even some further stuff I'm still working through, but have come a long way.
John Milham (Host) · 09:41
Did you, um, have you bumped into the concept of survivor syndrome, right? So the, you know, sort of disclosures and, you know, gaining memories back and so on. Is that something that you're aware? Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 09:54
No, I haven't gone down that one. No.
John Milham (Host) · 09:58
Um, yeah, well, you know, people love giving, you know, experiences labels, right? So, uh, you know, I'm sure some psycho has given it, you know, a good, good label. It's a syndrome. So, um, but it sounds like you were on your healing journey anyway. What, what, what? That's a fairly bold move given the level of impact you had on your life, right? Stepping out of— is it true, I'm hearing, that you found safety in that idea of not being seen, right? And sort of to be a chameleon, right? And change to the environment. So how did you break that? Because that's a safe place. Right.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 10:43
Yeah, it's a really safe place and one I was in for years. What kind of broke it for me was my engagement ending, so a 5-year relationship. And I started getting into all this like self-development and the spiritual stuff, and, and the more I was healing, the more I was growing, it kind of just created this division. So losing him in a way, I realized, well, there's no point in trying to pretend someone I'm not anymore. If he can't love me for who I am now, then I'll just keep doing me. So it's forced upon me, which is so often the case, isn't it?
John Milham (Host) · 11:30
Right? Like, we, you know, we go along until stuff doesn't work again, and then we try and figure out why it wasn't working, but Interesting, that idea. You know, my, my theory around, you know, connection is that the, you know, real connection requires authenticity. And yet being authentically you at that time was very, was not really available to you, was it?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 11:58
Hmm. Yeah, not at all. Not at all. I had no idea who I was. Or what I wanted to do. I was just doing what people would tell me to do because I didn't know any better.
John Milham (Host) · 12:08
Yeah. How was school? Was that, um, a nightmare, or was it—
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 12:14
yeah, it was a nightmare. I spent a lot of time alone, to be honest. The high schools around here are very interesting. There's a lot of people who were exploring illicit substances. And growing up, I had another extended family member who completely destroyed his life, so I was very careful of who I was spending my time with.
John Milham (Host) · 12:43
And that's how you had some real-life warning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 12:47
I'm really grateful for, because it could have been so easy to go down because it was so in my face at high school. So I spent a lot of time alone there just focusing on getting my stuff done, all my homework, my assignments, getting through the HSC. And it was very stressful because I had all this stress stored in my body. Everything, every assignment, any homework, it would just send me over the edge and I literally had panic attacks daily.
John Milham (Host) · 13:17
Mm-hmm. How, how, uh, I have an experience of a panic attack in the past. They are very uncomfortable things, right? What does that do to your kind of daily— you mentioned freeze and not having fight or flight. So freeze and appease are your tools to work with being in threat all the time. So panic attack feels so uncomfortable and so physically stressful as well as mentally stressful. Would you say you, like, as you stand here now, you know, rebuilding, you know, things and, and, you know, being, you know, having a journey of healing, would you say you were strong then? Or were you, because you, you survived that terrible time.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 14:11
I would say yes. For where I was at in my journey. I was strong, I was resilient in keeping going. I didn't give up because there were so many times where I wanted to end it all, and I just kept going. I knew the devastating impact it would have on my family. I just kept pushing for them when I couldn't do it for myself.
John Milham (Host) · 14:35
So do you mind if I explore that a little bit? Just ask a question. Yeah. So thinking about suicide is that, you know, so many young people, um, you know, are, are taking the next step and, and, you know, taking action on their suicidal thoughts. And you mentioned the motivation of your family, or was it care or fear or, you know, a sense of aesthetic or something? What, what was the difference?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 15:10
Yeah, for me it was I knew how hard it would be on them if they were to lose me, and I couldn't do that to them.
John Milham (Host) · 15:24
So, so as a protective factor, what, what would you, you know, you know, because you're, you're obviously, uh, you know a great person with your lived experience and training to reach out and to talk and share and sort of work with someone else's healing journey. What, what, what would you be, you know, sharing that would you feel is important for them to know as a young person who is having, say, suicidal ideation or is in that position?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 15:54
I guess no matter what you're going through, there's so much opportunity for it to get better. There, you don't have to do it alone. There are so many people who are willing to support you if you just let them. You don't have to do it alone. Yeah. So many people do, and that's where it gets you. Hmm.
John Milham (Host) · 16:20
What do you think, um, you know, from your experience having that, um, you know, school experience and childhood experience, you know, going through, what do you think's important for say parents and teachers and stuff to know?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 16:34
Um, creating a safe space for someone to come to is definitely a priority. So if you are unregulated and you will blow up about things that are really minor, someone's not going to come to you with something major. So making sure that you are a safe person to come to who are open and receptive, and also that there's action taken immediately. Like, I would tell friends in high school before I told my parents, and they didn't really know what to do. So there's an element of educating not only teachers and parents but also the kids.
John Milham (Host) · 17:19
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 17:20
Yeah. Wow.
John Milham (Host) · 17:22
What do they need to know, you know, like as we're educating them? What's the something very simple and very accessible to everyone that from an experience point of view, from somebody who has lived that process, what would have helped you? What would you like them to know specifically? Is that, you know, is there something that comes to mind?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 17:47
The thing that would be beneficial for me would have been the education when I was really young, just knowing that that one, it's not always stranger danger.
John Milham (Host) · 17:57
Yeah, yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 17:58
Wow, it's really important. And that it is a thing that happens because as a 7, 5, 10-year-old, whatever you're at, you don't know. That's not in your awareness. So if you know it's a thing, this is who you can tell, and then the parents have the action to— or teacher has the action. And also just to allow yourself to actually feel what you've been through, because for so long, because the panic attacks were like a symptom of the root cause, I would have these panic attacks and I would just get told, suck it up, you know, get on with it. And if I actually allowed myself to feel it all back then, it wouldn't have been an issue. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 18:44
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 18:44
Wow.
John Milham (Host) · 18:45
Such bad advice, right?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 18:48
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 18:48
And of course, as a parent, I'm guilty of giving it, you know, and living it, right? So, you know, um, forgive, forgive my generation for what we did to, uh, so many of yours, right? Um, we were, we had really bad advice as kids as well, right? So yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 19:06
Um, we're only doing the best with the tools that we have.
John Milham (Host) · 19:09
Yeah. That's an NLP presupposition.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 19:12
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 19:13
Nice work. Which I'm glad you bring that in because we'll go down there in a second. I just want to ask, right, so you know, the assault on your identity, which you've beautifully stated, so thank you for sharing that. It can't be easy. Um, as you, you know, you went through those years with, you know, having that impact and being isolated. You paint such a picture, you know, like, of, of you being alone during school. And I was like, yeah, it breaks my heart to, to think of both you as a young person and all the young people who are still in that space because of this stuff. Um, how, you know, here, this may be a strange question, As you have put yourself back together and given yourself an identity that is now possibly different from the one you might have been on, you know, had a trajectory for, does it feel like that you are a, you know, a legacy, right? Or does it feel like you are the person you were meant to become, right? It's almost like, is the identity the, the right one, or is it something that you've put together and it's the best you've got? Does that make sense?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 20:39
Yeah, I think it's definitely someone I was always meant to be, and everything that I've been through was to find that. Because I'm very spiritual as well. I believe that, you know, when— before we come to Earth, we make all these agreements to have this bad experience, learn this lesson, and eventually you'll get to this point. So I deeply believe that yes, I was always meant to go on this journey and become who I am now and still continue to grow.
John Milham (Host) · 21:13
Right. Yeah. So you, uh, you feel like if I was to say I'd give you the magic power to go back and not have this experience, would you, however that would change your destination, what, what, what do you, what would you choose?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 21:33
I would still choose to go through it.
John Milham (Host) · 21:36
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 21:36
To be honest, because it has taught me so much resilience. It has taught me how to build really great habits, how to love myself, and it's also pushed me to discover what I'm really here for and to make impact.
John Milham (Host) · 21:54
Yeah, beautiful. Do you hate him?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 21:58
No, I've done a lot of forgiveness work, and I know he was a part of my journey to learn all those lessons. Well, it doesn't mean that what he did was okay. No, it just means I can move forward.
John Milham (Host) · 22:14
That's very, um, you know, there's a lot of work behind that, so, you know, I, I Yeah, well done. I know that's so, that sounds so patronizing, but it's very impressive to, to get to a place of forgiveness with all that pain behind you. What do you want to do with that pain? Hmm.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 22:39
With my pain specifically, I am making it my purpose. I'm using it as my driver to help other people. And not only in the coaching space, but I have this big vision of creating a sanctuary for other children to come to so they can get the tools as soon as it happens. So they don't have to suffer for as long as I did. So purpose.
John Milham (Host) · 23:07
It's interesting that you say that, like, um, having a chance to chat with so many survivors. Um, I don't know, sorry, I didn't check whether survivor is a word you agree with or not, but, um, for people who've been through those kind of activities, um, often the consequences are mitigated by the people they have around them at the time. So when a young person experiences, um, say sexual abuse or physical trauma, it seems to be really important if you have a really loving, available, understanding, open kind of, you know, influence, right? Either a parent or a relative or something that, that allows you to process that at the time. You have a less, you know, a much less significant impact on later years. Would that, is that something that you could, you know, imagine, right?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 24:14
I definitely think that it has helped and has also hindered because I know it impacted my parents just as much as it did me, and I really feel for them because they're quite young too. I really feel for them that they again were doing the best that they could because they'd been betrayed as well, you know, in some ways. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So they gave me all the tools and resources they knew that I could get— the therapy, counseling, um, and yeah, just being open to listening and having that conversation meant the world.
John Milham (Host) · 25:01
And it, it, you know, I suppose, you know, it's, it's a judgment, but you know, it did work because, you know, you're here and, you know, you know, telling your story so bravely, right? So it's great. Um, you know, that's a real success. So, um, in terms of— did you go legal?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 25:21
Yes, it went legal. They Did end up spending some time in jail for what he did. So it definitely wasn't enough. The system, you know, it's hard when it's all he said, she said.
John Milham (Host) · 25:42
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 25:44
And especially when there's kids involved, it's just, yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 25:47
You know, it's not like kids, you know, make, you know, have a huge track record of making this stuff up, but. I, I, I wanted to understand from your point of view, was that, was your, uh, experience with the system positive or, you know, was it difficult?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 26:06
I thankfully didn't have to have much experience. My parents handled everything. I didn't even have to go to court. I just wrote a victim statement, so I didn't even have to see him ever again.
John Milham (Host) · 26:18
Wow.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 26:18
So they handled everything. There was a lot of complaints about how long things would take and some deception as well that was had. And though who we had working for us did the best that they could and really pushed, it's just, I guess, the judgment at the end of the day.
John Milham (Host) · 26:41
And I don't— yeah, so, you know, enough of, you know, taking you back to this time. I just, uh, um, That's one more question. Are you hypervigilant now?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 26:52
Um, definitely less than I have been. I feel like I'm pretty chill and pretty relaxed now. Anything that kind of comes my way, I'm like, okay, there's another lesson, just another hurdle. And I kind of see myself bigger than my problems now.
John Milham (Host) · 27:09
Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 27:10
And thankfully there's no more panic attacks. There's No more depression. And I just, whenever I feel something, I just allow it to move through me and, well, about my day.
John Milham (Host) · 27:21
Well, that's a huge outcome. What's your favorite modality? Yeah, what's your favorite thing to do to self-process and self-care?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 27:29
Hmm, I love just doing pendulation. It's a really great one. So you feel really deeply into the pain and then you feel The highs on the other side. So that's a really great one. It's shifting your state really quickly. And I also love—
John Milham (Host) · 27:46
Is that like pendulation you said? Right?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 27:48
Yes.
John Milham (Host) · 27:49
Oh, I haven't heard of that. So it's like swinging from side to side. Is that what it's like emotionally or physically?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 27:55
Emotionally. Right.
John Milham (Host) · 27:56
You don't actually have to sway like this.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 28:00
No. Right. You don't have to sway.
John Milham (Host) · 28:02
Wow. Wow. That's really interesting. What, um, when you, you, you dived into, you know, learning some things for to care for people, what were you hoping to achieve? Like, you know, did you want to fix people or, you know, like, I know we learn not to, right? But was that where you started out?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 28:23
Yeah, that's definitely where it started. You know, you can't fix anyone, but you can help them heal and move forward. And changing their own state from being in that depression and that anxiety to being so much more confident. And I've just, yeah, I've been able to see some really incredible results in who I worked with. Some people who have been really shy really come out of their shells. People who have been really depressed find joy and light again. So it's been really incredible to see the transformation.
John Milham (Host) · 28:56
Do you have a checklist? Like, when they tick the boxes, they're okay and they can move on?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 29:03
Or it's when— for them, I like to do like a little 6-week transformation, and I definitely see the progress after every session. And it's always like up to them. Like, my goal is to empower you so you don't need me anymore.
John Milham (Host) · 29:25
That's beautiful. What makes you a great holistic coach?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 29:32
I think because I've lived it as well. I've, you know, avoided it. I've felt it. I've also been in those really dark places. I've been in those really high places. I've done the people pleasing. I've done it all. I've done it all the bad.
John Milham (Host) · 29:51
Yeah. Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 29:52
I've learned how to come out of it with all the tools and process I then share and teach. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 30:00
I'm wondering, right, whether does the lived experience, like at times I've described it as magic, right? When someone who knows because they've been there talks to you, it's a very different experience from someone who is learned or their expertise around that particular thing. What, what do you think that magic is when you say it's really, uh, it's important that you have been there and you're connecting with people who are going through something? What, what is that connection?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 30:31
Do you think? It's the understanding that you've been through the same thing. They feel so seen and understood because you've been exactly where they've been. And you also have come out of it. They see you as, I guess, kind of this lighthouse, you know, that's the, that's the goal at the end of the tunnel. You've gone through the dark and there's a light at the end.
John Milham (Host) · 30:58
So you're shining, uh, down on them as evidence that, you know, they keep going, they can also, you know, emerge.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 31:06
100%.
John Milham (Host) · 31:08
Yeah. Um, when, what's your, uh, you know, I talked about the things that you like to do. What's your favorite process, um, to help somebody achieve, you know, achieve or know or, you know, develop something?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 31:25
My favorite process would probably be ECT, which is Emotional Change Technique, because what it does is get to the root cause of the event and all the imprinting it did on your nervous system, on your emotions, on your mental patterns, like how you think, what you believe, and also on your energy. So it's this accumulation of all the things that you need to release in order to make the change when it was first imprinted on your subconscious. So it's so, so powerful.
John Milham (Host) · 32:02
What does ACT look like?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 32:05
It's a kind of a guided process. So, uh, I take you on this journey back through your life. It's based on timeline therapy but has better results.
John Milham (Host) · 32:17
Yeah, yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 32:18
So you go back, you find the very first imprinting of that emotion. We work through at least 6 different emotions and we clear it through that timeline with intention.
John Milham (Host) · 32:34
Wow. Um, when you are working with someone, say, on their timeline, and you, what happens when you bump into something they haven't talked about or, you know, something that's a real obstacle or a real, um, sore spot for them?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 32:52
We allow it to just be felt in the body. And because we're working with the subconscious mind, there's oftentimes where it will come up stuff they're not even aware about. So we're like, okay, this is great, feel it out, let's keep going, see if there's anything more. Where's the root cause of it? We keep going until the subconscious lets us know, yep, this is the root cause. I'm like, great, let's clear from here. Because you clear from that root cause incident and until the present moment. So you're going through your whole timeline, clearing it with intention, energy, sound, movement, the emotion, and it's gone. It is— it's crazy how effective it is because it's instant.
John Milham (Host) · 33:42
The, the— I think the, um You know, Gestalt therapy is that, you know, you know, so we're talking Gestalt, right? The unresolved emotion that is held at the moment that we experience it. And then every event that triggers in that sort of area triggers that same original event.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 34:01
Yeah. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 34:02
Are we talking, so you, you're going back and releasing what, how do you invite somebody to let go of something that has sort of punctuated their life constantly, right? Why, why, you know, if that is so safe and so often we choose pain, familiar pain rather than, uh, an unknown relief, right? So, so why does that invitation that you're offering work?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 34:31
Because, um, I guess it's because, you know, will you let yourself be stuck and consumed by this pain, or will you choose the better outcome? And the better outcome is, I guess, an example right in front of you, or it's someone else you look up to. But when you're stuck in your pain, it's so hard to make any progress, any movement forward. So sometimes feeling that depth allows you literally to skyrocket. It's so liberating. Beautiful.
John Milham (Host) · 35:08
Who are, who is coming? Who is somebody who is going to present for this kind of process? What does that, what does your person look like that you're working with?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 35:25
I work with quite a diverse group of people. Um, I've worked with men, I've worked with women, some as young as 20, some in their 50s. So it's, um, yeah, there's lots of different people I work with, and it's always to become the best version of themselves because that's hidden under all the pain, everything they've been through. It's always within you. We've just gotta kind take off all the layers and bring you out.
John Milham (Host) · 35:58
What, what are they, what are they coming to you for?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 36:04
Mainly it is because they just can't keep going with life how it's happening. So they're, a lot of the times, unfortunately, that it's at their breaking point as well. Everything's really overwhelming. They feel like giving up on all sorts of things. They're just really fed up with their life, how they are living, and the depression, the anxiety, the negative thinking, all of it. Unfortunately, the breaking point that usually they reach out— and though it doesn't have to be you can start noticing just how you're reacting and whether you're reacting to what's happening in your life, you're at effect, or can be at cause. And you can choose to choose you and to start overcoming these little hurdles and become an even better version of yourself. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 37:11
You just, um, uh, offered something that's really interesting and so common in, in community these days, right? Being at effect, right? So maybe you can share, uh, with the listeners what you see what being at effect is and how it's different from being at cause.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 37:36
When you are at effect, you're essentially giving away all your power. You are letting the outside world, people, dictate how you feel and believe about yourself and your life. So a really simple example is just traffic. If you are just driving along and there's so much traffic and you're letting that affect your mental emotional state, you're at effect. Where instead you could choose to be at cause and choose to not let it affect you because everything is a choice. We choose how we react consciously and subconsciously. So when we choose to be at cause, we're choosing a different story.
John Milham (Host) · 38:19
Yeah. I love the idea, um, that, uh, everything happens. It's not because, you know, it's not happening to us. You know, we're just participating in stuff that happens. It's the idea that it's not our fault, but it's still our responsibility to respond, right? So I like that. Yeah.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 38:42
I love that.
John Milham (Host) · 38:44
And of course, when you are at effect, as you said, being at effect takes your power away. Well, what power is that? What power are we talking about that exists in individuals? That you're tapping into, right? You talk about energetic healing. Isn't that, is that tapping into that power?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 39:07
Not necessarily. The, I guess it's the power of choice. You can choose to be empowered or you can choose to be disempowered. And choosing to be disempowered is you're letting life affect you. Choosing to be empowered is letting yourself control your life, you've been controlled, choosing your responses. There is an aspect of tapping into the, I guess, the energy of confidence, because emotions are just energy. Emotion and everything that we move through is either in us as energy, as emotions, or we process and we can shift.
John Milham (Host) · 39:53
So I was talking to, um, a, uh, lady who is a cognitive neuroscientist as well as a meditation and yoga teacher, right? So, um, so she's sort of straddling, and she was, she was talking about the, um, how it's everything's connected, right? That, that we are at a quantum level, we're just energy. So tell me how you heal energy.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 40:25
You know, I love the science behind it all because, because I was raised atheist. I was like, this stuff I've got to prove. So I've loved and delved into so many different rabbit holes. So I love the fact that yes, we are all made up of energy because broken down we're made up of subatomic particles. And all these different particles and atoms that make us us. There's—
John Milham (Host) · 40:49
down to the Planck at the moment. I'm sure it'll go further eventually, but yeah, it's just going to keep going.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 40:55
So essentially, the energy within us has to communicate with each other. It starts within the body as an electrical signal in the brain, and that electrical signal is just energy. It tells us to breathe, to eat, to move, things we do consciously and unconsciously. So when I'm using energy healing, I'm just tapping into the energy of creation, I guess. You know, we talk about the Big Bang, and then there's also the more religious faiths as well. It's all just energy. And when we're tapping into that creation, that life force energy, because it's such a high vibrational frequency, it has the power to shift and change the state of something.
John Milham (Host) · 41:44
So, just to jump on that, right? Because I hear it quite a lot. What does my vibration level have to do with stuff? Right? How do I feel better vibrating more? Right? You know, is that, I don't, I'm not sure. Like, you know, I've heard it a lot, right? And I even listen to the headphones, right? So, You know, you know, put on the, you know, go to sleep with, you know, 495 or whatever it is, you know, all the hats.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 42:13
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 42:13
Frequency.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 42:14
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 42:15
What's happening? What does vibrational level mean?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 42:18
Hmm. So our atoms all vibrate at different frequencies and rates. And if we look at sound waves, we can really see it there. So something that's really low will be very slow. Slow and very wavy, as something that's really high frequency is going to be really fast and jittery. And you're going to see the difference. So in that low vibrational state, that's where our heavy emotions kind of sit. So when we're shifting our state and raising our vibration, we're tapping into the higher states of consciousness and also our higher emotions. So it's just shifting from one low state to a high state.
John Milham (Host) · 43:00
Well, um, I, I was attending a, um, uh, lecture on traditional Chinese medicine, right? And they were talking about flowing the, you know, they talk about energy as qi, right? And how it flows. Is that what it's like? You know, like the energy flowing through you and it has to be connected, like when you're sick or, or, you know, sad because there's a blockage. Is that? What you're talking about.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 43:26
Yeah, there can be blockages. So we've got the energy centers within the body, they're the chakras, and there can be a buildup of negative energy if we don't release it. And we can release it with the energy healing, or we can release it emotionally. So yes, we can release it by literally just pulling it out. That's kind of how I do it in a healing session. I literally just reach in there and pull it out. I can see it sometimes. Sometimes the visions are there, and most times I can just feel the density of it, which is really, really interesting. It's a bit of a game of trust becoming an energy healer because of my background. Like, I can't really prove it, but I'm feeling and seeing all these things. I've got to just trust that it's working, and then people have great results. I'm like, well, That speaks for itself. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 44:18
Yeah. It's, it's, that's right. You know, the outcomes are the outcomes. I'm interested in when you, when you, are you different? Like, you know, when you can grab, uh, you know, the, you know, the blockage, the negative energy and pull it out. Are you different? Is that your gift?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 44:36
I think we're all tapped in. I think we just become tapped out because It's not something normal in our world. So I think we can all have the potential to access this gift, and it's something I've developed myself. I have had some pretty wild experiences growing up where I've had encounters with spirits in— with my physical eyes, and that kind of shut me down for a while because that was really scary. But I have had some pretty unexplainable experiences that have led me to be more open to this more spiritual side.
John Milham (Host) · 45:23
Does it take, um, the person working with you, coming to you for healing, does it take that level of openness for them to have an experience of healing?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 45:34
No, they can be, as long as there's curiosity there. They don't have to be so open to the fact that they, they're gonna, you know, I guess, unlock all these gifts and they're gonna have this crazy transformation. As long as they are just curious, they can reap the benefits.
John Milham (Host) · 45:56
You're wandering down the street. Do you see people who need your level of, uh, your intervention? Do you like notice them? Is there, is there a way to tell? That people are going through something and they need to be sort of, you know, in the hands of a holistic coach?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 46:11
Yeah, there's, there's definitely some signs. It's mainly in body language and also how someone dresses as well. It's a really big reflection of what they're going through, which is really interesting because we'll kind of shape our identity to reflect how we're feeling and thinking. So Yeah, it'll be body language, how they react to things, if they're very heightened in their emotions, um, and also how they're dressing. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 46:42
Well, I better iron my shirts now, otherwise someone will come up and try, you know, suggest I need— yeah, well, they'll be right, right? So maybe I did— maybe I start there with, like, uh, Dave Goggins talks about making your bed first. I suppose that's Yeah. A decluttered mind. What, what, uh, what are we, uh, you know, like you talk about the drive, you mentioned, you know, the movement forward and, you know, the, our highest expression, right? You know, what we're, you know, where does that come from? Why, why is it a human's job to grow?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 47:20
Hmm. I love that question. I guess why we're kind of here in the first place. From a spiritual perspective, like we come here to experience life in all its highs and lows. And if we don't grow and learn, then we're kind of wasting our life. Experience as much as possible.
John Milham (Host) · 47:44
I don't experience a lot. I kind of sit on my backside and go online a lot, but, um, so I guess I, you know, I've got probably need your services, right? But I'm wondering, right, the normal framework that we've got going, right? You have to get up early and go for a jog and go to the gym and be a gym bro or have a relationship of a certain type and quality and so on. There's a lot of rules around what we should be and look like and do. Is that helpful or hurtful?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 48:23
I think it's very hurtful because we can be constrained so much to have a certain life. I think kind of society will push all these beliefs and standards, like school and work has to look this way. School literally trains us to be an employee. It doesn't teach us to become independent and to create our own version of what work can look like. Because if I had known that this was a possibility in high school, I would have gone a completely different route.
John Milham (Host) · 48:59
So wasn't there a booth at Careers Day for spiritual healing?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 49:05
Not at all.
John Milham (Host) · 49:06
Damn right, like that. I think there should be, right? Maybe we could do one in the future.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 49:11
Yeah, coaching too. It wasn't even that. Was it?
John Milham (Host) · 49:16
So, um, when you look back at your, uh, you know, like, uh, do you feel like you've come out of a process or do you feel like it was just childhood? It wasn't very good, but I'm out now.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 49:30
Hmm. Yeah, I think I've definitely come out of the story. Like, I'm no longer at effect. I'm Yeah, yeah, of course. Now, yeah, I've definitely reclaimed my life, my identity. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 49:46
What's, um, what's, uh, a little bit down the track look like?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 49:51
I changed their life and also creating that vision of my not-for-profit. That is my big goal, to create a space to find a location to start.
John Milham (Host) · 50:07
So it's a physical space, an invitational— an invitation for kids to come into this space and what, learn and be safe and, yeah, you know, and de— you know, and regulate, or, and, you know, sort of—
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 50:21
the goal is to have a physical space where they can access all the tools, have the processes to move through their trauma and heal, to really heal. So there'll be a few different modalities that kind of comes into it. So yeah, that's my, my big vision.
John Milham (Host) · 50:41
That's lovely. That's lovely. What, what do you think is going to take, take, you know, what do you envisage it's going to take to, to move towards that vision?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 50:52
Hmm. Building a big community to support. And also everyone that I work with funds this vision, which is really incredible. So everything— everyone I have worked with has gotten me to the point where I can actually register this incredible not-for-profit. And then the next step is just building it up, being really smart with how it all is going to unfold.
John Milham (Host) · 51:27
Nice. What about you? What are you going to love doing?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 51:34
I'm just gonna love being able to make such a big impact for the kids because I know how long it impacted me and how much of my childhood it really took away. So that's really what's going to fulfill me, making that impact. Nice.
John Milham (Host) · 51:57
And, um, what do you hope people, um, change in their world to make things, um, better, you know, for there to be less pain, for kids to be safer and, you know, what do you think the community can do?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 52:15
I think one, looking within and making sure that you are a safe, regulated human that can help others. And also just reaching out to your community, just checking in, seeing how people are. And the more safe you are, the more likely someone's going to open up and share what they're moving through. So that's beautiful.
John Milham (Host) · 52:47
Are you, are you, um, do you, are you optimistic about that? Like, it, it seems like everything's going, you know, um, a bit downhill at the moment, right? And kids constantly report being more impacted by the world than they used to be alone. So, you know, is there a reason for optimism?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 53:08
Yeah, I think if we don't have optimism, then we're going to be stuck in that negative. And if there's no hope, well, we're just stuck. So yeah, having optimism is definitely the key to having that change. And there's also an element of, I think, sometimes disconnecting from the world. Like, we don't need to know what's happening across the waters all the time if it's not beyond our capacity to do anything.
John Milham (Host) · 53:40
Self-care is sometimes stepping back.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 53:43
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 53:43
Well, it's, it's been an absolute treat. What, what do you want, uh, if people want to, um, connect with you in particular, what, what should they do?
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 53:55
Well, they can send me a message on Instagram or Facebook. That's probably the best way to find me. I will be @shanacoaching on Instagram. There'll be links below, but I'm always open just for a chat, and we'll see if I can support you. It's just for a chat, or whether you want to work together. I'm so open to just being there if anyone needs it, because you don't have to do it alone.
John Milham (Host) · 54:23
Thank you, Shana. That's beautiful. Um, and of course, um, just being there, well, it's quite a testament to your resilience, perseverance, and your care that you're here, right? And I am very grateful that you made it on to talk to me and to share your story with Kintsugi Heroes. Thank you.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 54:43
Thank you.
John Milham (Host) · 54:51
Thank you for listening to this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.
Sharna Teresa (Sharna Bowers) (Guest) · 54:55
Heroes.
John Milham (Host) · 54:55
Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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