Kintsugi Heroes
Shay Hare · 64 min
Shay Hare spent fifteen years masking childhood trauma through gambling — and now channels that same obsessive energy into helping others find freedom from shame and addiction.
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Shay Hare spent fifteen years masking childhood trauma through gambling. From age 13, when he won over $100 at a poker game, the rush felt like a drug. It was a solution to unbearable pain, low self-worth, and the unsafe feeling of being fully himself. By Year 8 he was stealing his mother's credit card to play online poker. For fifteen years he carried an invisible backpack of lies, losing friendships, stealing from people he cared about, never telling a soul.
At 28, after months without gambling, Shay impulsively bet $500 on AFL, won $2,500, then lost it all instantly. In that moment he realised he actually wanted to lose, that gambling had nothing to do with money anymore. It was about creating enough pain to escape everything else. The next day he picked up the phone and asked for help. That single phone call, though it took weeks to get an appointment, became the start of shedding his shame.
Shay learned that the real work was not learning strategies or techniques, but developing the capacity to sit with discomfort without reaching for distraction. Through therapy and psychedelic work, he learned to have compassion for all his parts, even the ones he didn't like. He discovered that acceptance is where peace lives. Today he channels that same obsessive energy into helping others find freedom from shame and addiction. His message is simple: an addiction can't survive in the light. If you're struggling, just talk about it. Because shame thrives in silence and spreads into every corner of life.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery and suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au • ReachOut: au.reachout.com • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
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Kintsugi Heroes · Registered Australian not-for-profit · kintsugiheroes.com.au ↗