Kintsugi Heroes
Adam Bude · 43 min
A sales expert who looked successful on the outside reveals the suicidal depths he reached as a sleep-deprived new father of twins, and how vulnerability—not strength—ultimately saved his life.
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Adam Bude looked successful on the outside. He had a six-figure sales job, a wife, three young children. But inside, he was drowning. When his twins were newborns during the global financial crisis, his income collapsed and he found himself alone, sleep-deprived, working on commission, with no one asking if he was okay. His son had been on life support. His daughter stopped breathing. His wife was physically incapacitated. And all the support, all the care, all the attention went to Amanda. No one ever asked Adam how he was coping. Every night he came home, put the kids to bed, and drank a bottle of wine alone. Every morning he looked at the train platform and thought about jumping.
What saved him was not strength. It was vulnerability. When Amanda's father died by suicide, she faced the possibility of losing her husband the same way. She pushed for a complete fresh start. Within a month, Adam found a job and a house on the Gold Coast. They left Melbourne with nothing and no one, but they left together. On the other side of that move, Adam began to rebuild. He stopped drinking. He got healthy. He and Amanda grew together instead of apart, both working on themselves.
Today Adam speaks to men suffering in silence. He names postnatal depression in men as real. He names financial stress as a killer. He says that the men who find the courage to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to let someone in, are the ones who find their true power. If you are where Adam was, this is a story about what is possible on the other side.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au
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