Aus Carers
Leonie Mulgrew
Leonie kept working full-time while her husband fought stage 4 cancer. Two years later, she finally let herself grieve.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
In 2021, Leonie's husband Shane was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. What followed was a 15-hour emergency surgery, seven weeks of daily radiation treatment, and months of recovery at home. Leonie kept working full-time as a beauty therapist while Shane's new business shut down. She managed his medications, bandages, and wound care at night on two to three hours of sleep, then showed up to work the next day. During COVID lockdowns, she sat alone in cars while he had treatment, unable to be beside him. A rude customer one shift, unaware Leonie had just come from the hospital, snapped at her to hurry up. That weight of the invisible carer role, going unrecognised, defined those years.
Leonie had walked through cancer herself years earlier. Shane had been her protector then. Now the roles reversed, and she had to learn to protect him while keeping their household afloat. She developed superstitious rituals born from fear, about how she pegged the washing, and later found counselling to work through her own trauma. Nearly two years after his diagnosis, a caravan trip down to Lake Macquarie broke something open. Sitting by the ocean with Shane, they both let go and grieved together. For the first time, she stopped feeling like his carer and felt like his wife again.
Soon after, Leonie left the beauty salon to manage a Lifeline store on the Sunshine Coast. She found purpose in making people feel welcome and good, in work that felt meaningful. Connection to something outside the caring situation, and people who asked if she was okay without judgment, had kept her cup from running completely empty. She urges other carers to reach out to support groups, to find people and places that don't judge them or their families, and to know that the weight can lift.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses grief & loss, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au • GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au
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