Glenys Reid (R)
At 65, job loss forced Glenys to confront her own ageism, then she built a national network to heal the loneliness she saw everywhere.
Hear this story
At 65, Glenys Reid lost her corporate job without warning. She was skilled, experienced, and qualified. But she was also invisible to employers who saw her age before they saw her capability. That year of searching, of rejection, of sudden isolation from the team she loved, broke something open. She experienced loneliness from the inside for the first time, and it showed her what she had been overlooking for years: people sitting alone in cafes, laptops and phones held up like shields, looking outward for connection but never quite reaching across to the stranger at the next table.
Glenys grew up watching her father survive three and a half years as a prisoner of war on the Thai-Burma Railway. Her mother nursed in Darwin during bombing raids. That family history taught her something essential: when hardship comes, the question is not whether you can cope but what you do next. During her darkest years, a 6 AM fitness group on the beach kept her alive. Friends showed up. Physical routine mattered. She learned that kindness is not a one-off gesture but a sustained practice of taking time, listening fully, and asking difficult questions only if you have space to hear the answer.
In 2019, she found Chatty Cafe UK and brought the model to Australia with no formal plan, just a belief that connection matters. Today, over 230 venues across Australia run Chatty Cafe programs. Glenys has spent five years building this without taking a salary. She now spends her time deliberately: with family, outdoors, with the people who matter. She says nobody should underestimate their capacity to make a difference, even to one person. Every person has a story worth hearing if someone takes the time to listen.
“I'm a huge believer in the power of one. I think nobody should underestimate their capacity, no matter what their background, to make a difference in the world, even if it's just to one person.”
“I was looking for jobs, and I was 65, and I'm embarrassed to say that I would myself, when I was in a professional executive role, look at resumes, and the person was over 65, I would just cast them aside.”
“I noticed a lot of people sitting by themselves in cafes and restaurants. I'd reach out and make some joke about something happening in the cafe and engage that person who was sitting there by themselves. And 45 minutes later we'd be having absolutely marvelous conversation and laughing.”
The hero, today
Glenys lost her corporate job at 65 and discovered loneliness from the inside, which led her to notice the invisible barriers keeping isolated people isolated even in crowded cafes. Growing up with parents who survived wartime trauma taught Glenys that when hardship comes, the question is not whether you can cope but what you do next. Kindness is not a one-off gesture but a sustained practice of taking time, listening fully, and asking difficult questions only if you have space to hear the answer. Glenys credits physical routine, a committed friend group, and a deliberate commitment to mental health alongside fitness as what kept her alive during years of suicidal ideation. Glenys started Chatty Cafe with no formal plan, driven by the simple belief that connection matters and that one person's action can spread further than they expect. Glenys now deliberately simplifies her life, decluttering commitments to protect time with family, close friends, nature, and the people who matter most, because time is finite and should not be wasted on peripheral things.
Yes. Glenys Reid (R) is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Glenys lost her corporate job at 65 and discovered loneliness from the inside, which led her to notice the invisible barriers keeping isolated people isolated even in crowded cafes.
Growing up with parents who survived wartime trauma taught Glenys that when hardship comes, the question is not whether you can cope but what you do next.
Kindness is not a one-off gesture but a sustained practice of taking time, listening fully, and asking difficult questions only if you have space to hear the answer.
Glenys credits physical routine, a committed friend group, and a deliberate commitment to mental health alongside fitness as what kept her alive during years of suicidal ideation.
John Milham (Host) · 00:00
This limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible through grant funding provided by the New South Wales Department of Communities and Justice Connecting Seniors Grant Program. If you'd like to find out more about Kintsugi Heroes, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au. Welcome to our Kintsugi Heroes special series, Connecting Seniors, where we share the experiences of aging Australians to create connections across our communities. In this episode of Connecting Seniors, we're revisiting a conversation from Kintsugi Heroes with a senior who is making an impact on the world or connecting with their community. This week, we hear John Millum's chat with Glenys Reid. To the Kintsugi Heroes Stories That Matter podcast. Thank you, Glenys. Thanks for joining us.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 00:57
Lovely to be here and having a chat.
John Milham (Host) · 00:59
Absolutely. Just having a chat, right? So over a coffee. And of course, Glenys is the CEO of the Chatty Cafe Foundation. That sounds fascinating to me, but of course you have a long and interesting background to get to there. And rather than sort of me share that with the world, I'll offer that to you to share as much as you'd like in a sec. But of course, the Chatty Cafe Foundation is essentially one of my favorite things in the world, sitting down with a coffee and a caring intention to have a conversation with somebody either you know or even a stranger. So what a brilliant idea. So Glynis, how on earth did you get to there?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 01:44
Well, a long and interesting journey to focus specifically just on chatting for a minute in terms of there. And that bit, that bit happened as a result of I had my own experience of loneliness and social isolation, which is what Chatty is focused on in terms of members of the community that might be in that space at that point in time. And I was quite shocked about that experience. And it was very unexpected and quite frightening, really, to sort of find yourself the next day without a job. And I sort of looked around 'cause I felt lonely. You know, I was used to being with a team of people and loved my team and loved my job and whatever and sort of became a bit of collateral damage to a circumstance. And I looked around, John, and I noticed a lot of people sitting by themselves in cafes and restaurants, et cetera. But I'm fairly eccentric and so I sort of would reach out and make some joke about something happening in the cafe or something and engage that person who was sitting there by themselves. And 45 minutes later we'd be having absolutely marvelous conversation and laughing and whatever. But it was just fascinating, those people that might be sitting by themselves, they may be having, you know, fine time and, you know, fully engaged in whatever they were doing, but often they were sort of using— in my experience was they were using laptops or phones or books as a bit of a prop, but they were actually looking outwards and socially engaging with what was happening in the cafe. I mean, they might talk to the staff or they might talk to the barista, but they wouldn't, you know, there might be 3 people sitting alone at tables next to them, but they wouldn't reach out.
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This conversation includes a conversation over coffee, spotting the prop, not the person, the job that ended without warning, her father's three and a half years, the diary he kept in secret and scholarships and the gift of seeing differently.
John Milham (Host) · 03:28
No.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 03:29
They wouldn't say, "Want to join me for a coffee?" And I just thought that would be fantastic if people all started chatting to each other. And then I got told about this program in the UK, Chatty Cafe UK, and contacted them, and they were terribly excited to think someone might wanna bring it to Australia. And that was my grand plan, and I didn't have a, the job that I wanted and had used to have. And so I thought, well, I have to create one myself. Yeah. Yeah. And, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Little did I know what I meant getting into a charity in Australia meant. Oh my goodness, has that been a journey. But that was back in 2019. And we just took— I just took off. And the charity, despite national bushfires at the time, you remember, end of 2019, terrible, terrible. And then COVID hit in what, sort of March of 2020. And then COVID through '21, '22. But we're still here. Chetty Café, John, is still here despite all of that. Just— and, you know, So that part of my journey, I would say I'm very proud to say we've got over 230 venues across Australia and a whole bunch of 70+ volunteers who are just, you know, creating opportunities through these cafes, restaurants, pubs, clubs, community centres, neighbourhood houses, et cetera, and providing opportunities for libraries, et cetera, for people to come together and have a chat.
John Milham (Host) · 04:58
Amazing.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 04:58
Yeah. That's worked well. And I think of it as turning lemons into lemonade in terms of how I, for myself personally.
John Milham (Host) · 05:08
Yeah.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 05:09
It was sort of a serious case of serious lemons.
John Milham (Host) · 05:14
So you're adding sort of, you know, farm produce producer to the list of accomplishments. So 2019, Chatty Cafe kicked off, you know, inspired by the program that, as you mentioned, in the UK, which is fab. And you know, we can talk a bit about the Chatty Cafe, certainly want to. Well, I'm just thinking the person who was sitting there, who then, you know, at a point where stuff had gone pear-shaped, right? So you keep the fruit analogy going. You were in a tough spot. Right. And so tell us a bit about the person who was then able to take that tough spot and turn it into a social enterprise that is making a difference in the world. Who, Glenys, how did you get to be able to take that moment of challenge and turn that to good? What led up to that?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 06:10
Well, I think the moment of challenge happened around mid-2017 actually. And, and I would say I didn't immediately sort of become this sort of person then sort of looking for, well, you know, what next. There was a period of incredible difficulty and mental health issues around that period of time leading up from 2016 actually into '17 and then '18, and it was really fascinating. You know, I was looking for jobs, And I was 65, and I'm embarrassed to say that I would myself, when I was in a professional executive role, look at resumes, and the person was over 65, I would just cast them aside. And here I was in the same situation going, Oh my God, you know, I'm very skilled, capable, professional, Asian, USA, and Australian experience, government, not-for-profit consultant. You know, it was like, what, what happened? Um, and so, you know, I did spend about a year, um, trying to sort of get myself another job, and it was really, really difficult. And I think, um, out of that, that's where the resilience really was driven from, I think, at that point. And I've got a bit of a, if you, a little interesting little backstory to that resilience. My father was a prisoner of war for 3 and a half years with the Japanese, and he was in Changi and on the Thai-Burma Railway.
John Milham (Host) · 07:59
Wow.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 07:59
And my mother was a nurse's aide in Darwin post the bombing, I would say. So I grew up, my brother and I, we grew up, that was our background. We grew up that period of my father's life, '42 to '45. And he'd only been in the army 6 weeks when he was made a prisoner of war. And he'd been working in the Defence Department and he'd been desperate to get to the war. And then he got to the war and it didn't have good outcome for him. Singapore went under and that was it. And that 3.5 years defined him and our growing up was wrapped around that experience, John, of him and the colleagues, the friends he made, the friends he lost, his experience being on the Thai Burma Railway, his experiences medically, professionally, you know, emotionally, et cetera. That defined him, and that was a key part of our life. So I grew up with a family that, that we didn't— we weren't a family that was— did tuk sickies or didn't cope or didn't just get on or try our hardest. That's, that's, that's who we were, you know. So I think that whole growing up, uh, was a huge strength for me. In facing that. And, you know, I'm aware that people face potentially similar circumstances as mine and have to seek significant help and go to clinics, et cetera, for help. But that just, it just never occurred to me. Although from a mental health perspective, you know, I was suicidal and that was difficult. And I didn't, you know, sort of go down that road. So yeah, I think that was it. The resilience is in my background and my family's attitude to life and work and really survival. I think it was sort of survival kicked in. Of course, nothing like my father had experienced, but I think you go into, you know, alright, this has happened. Where do I go to from here? What do I do?
John Milham (Host) · 10:14
That's such an interesting, like such an interesting insight. Your father did like so, you know, like often an existential— a moment of existential crisis for all of us is defining. And yet perhaps, you know, in— for people in that, like your father and other members in that environment, it was existential crises every day for 3 and a half years. And, you know, often that can have a very telling impact on, on how a father can interact when he comes home. Did you find that, you know, how would you define your relationship? You know, like, obviously he's an impressive and inspiring story, but, you know, was it— were there difficulties in that?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 11:00
I— well, I just adored my father. We were very, very similar, um, sort of chip off the old block. And, um, I, I think, um, for, for him, I, I think the significant thing that we experienced from him was, um, that he never shared the details until one night he was probably, golly, 70, 70-something, and he took a bottle of red and he went into the study and he started writing. Um, and, uh, he had a diary that he kept. He could have been, um, killed for that if the Japanese had found it. And he had kept a diary and he had, um, that diary and he used that as a reference tool and he stayed went into that study every night for quite some time. And then he ended up having the memoir published, which was great, and he copies to the War Memorial, et cetera. And that's how he told his story. But I think we were incredibly lucky. If I look at some of the families whose primarily men come back from war and the post-traumatic stress disorders that they exhibit. I think that with my father, we're extraordinarily lucky. And looking back on our time then, his friendship group with the men that survived was terribly, terribly, terribly important to his mental health. We came down every Every year they came down and marched. He died at 88, when he was 88, and he came down and marched probably until he was 85, despite having, you know, sort of arthritis and all this sort of stuff. He was a very, very, very impressive man. And I think, you know, and my mum, I must say, she was a businesswoman. She was an amazing sort of businesswoman before her time. Ran a company for 17 years in Canberra. When women didn't run anything in Canberra much. So yeah, so pretty impressive parents.
John Milham (Host) · 13:12
Yeah, a lot of material to work with there. So of course, your mum being in a war zone, that was, you know, Darwin was an active combatant zone. So yeah, what a tough, a tough situation. But clearly they were made of the right stuff.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 13:28
Yep.
John Milham (Host) · 13:29
How did that play into you? Like, you know, you're obviously a young person with you know, parents who, uh, have expectations, right? Did you feel that?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 13:41
Uh, no, no. In retrospect, that's a great question. No, I didn't. Um, I was unbelievably privileged. I was lucky enough to, um, go to a, a girls' grammar school. Um, I had an excellent education. Um, uh, my great-grandmother had left me some money, which I got, um, at, uh, at 21. Um, I was able to afford to go and, um, do my, um, phys ed training in Sydney. Um, and just very, very, um, privileged. And I, I never, I never forget that in terms of what, what opportunities and what opportunities I had. In terms of expectations, no, I don't. Maybe they were. I feel I was certainly self-driven to, not, I wouldn't say my life has ever been planned really, except for the first step, which was, well, what do you wanna do after school? And I went into physical education. And then from there, I've been incredibly fortunate. Um, many times just got tapped in terms of, we want this, or there's this opportunity for you, or, um, um, yeah, I've been, yeah, I've been incredibly, incredibly fortunate around, around that. That, um, that sent me to Asia on scholarship. It sent me to the USA on scholarship. Um, uh, yes, um, and, and also back in Australia. So, um, yeah, I've been very, very lucky. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 15:27
So those, those, um, experiences and opportunities, what do you think really, you know, you gained from that? Like wisdom-wise or experiential-wise? What, what, what was the, what was the gifts of those things?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 15:44
Oh, well, I think, I think one of the key elements that has helped define me were the travel opportunities that I've had, the exposure to different cultures. I was fortunate, my mum loved to travel, and so we traveled quite a lot when I was young, and as young as 8 or 9, we went to Asia and sort of Travel really never stopped from there in terms of where we were, opportunities were that we were given. But for me, um, just I think the exposure to different cultures, sort of Asia, the Americas, travel all over the world. I mean, extraordinarily lucky. Uh, just respect for different cultures, um, and, and different religions, um, different races. Um, yeah. And having come from a privileged life in Australia, just to be able to, I think, continuously have that reinforced of how lucky I was and to not squander, I think, those opportunities. Give everything 100%. In terms of wisdom, yeah. Tolerance, not wasting time. I think I'm very much a time is finite. Don't waste a lot of time and life's too exciting, too interesting, too many opportunities, too many interesting people to hear their stories.
John Milham (Host) · 17:21
Yeah, that's, yeah, I love the the idea of maintaining gratitude for the opportunities as when you see the privilege, right? How do you think you've best put that into practice?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 17:39
If I would share, if I go to the present, I think the, you know, a serious situation, which was the situation that happened in and evolved into 2017. That experience of loneliness and separation, I think, has really struck home in terms of the importance of engagement and communicating and being with people and recognising the importance of social health, which is somewhat of a new term being used now to make a distinction between mental, physical, and social. And that's all about the quality of our relationships and the importance of those. Um, and it's not just about quantity, it's about the quality of those. That's the most important element. Um, so I think in terms of how it manifests itself today with me, it's about, um, for me, as much as possible, the concept of kindness and caring. Um, and spending time with people, not getting caught up so much in your own schedule that you're not listening, um, and actually listening to people. And, and I'm very, um, I'm sort of a massive fan of R U OK? Um, and, and the switch that's made in terms of people recognizing the need to reach out and ask the, ask the tough question, having been in that space myself on a couple of occasions in my life. Yeah, it's about sort of kindness, I think. I think that's sort of how I try and live it now is slow down a little bit and have time for people if possible. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Or sort of make time.
John Milham (Host) · 19:34
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 19:35
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 19:36
So it's interesting you bring up kindness. It's like kindness can be a concept people throw around it all the time. You know, be kind. You know, do kind. But as a competency, right? You're like, you know, you're saying you're almost giving it much more gravitas, right? It's more important than that. How would you define kindness as a competency? What is kindness in action for you? How do you, how, you know, if it's so important, how, you know, how do we encourage kindness? What does that look like?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 20:07
Taking time. Checking in with people. It's a mix of being and doing. There's a difference for me in that, in terms of doing things, you can make food for people. That's a kind thing to do. It's actually not a great skill of mine. I'm not a good cook.
John Milham (Host) · 20:29
Yeah.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 20:29
So for me, uh, it's more, uh, spending time with people or being in touch as much as possible. Um, and for the people in my daily life, um, yes, trying to take time, yeah, to talk and, and listen. Um, and, and do, yeah, do, do nice, nice gestures if, if you can. It might not be making a beautiful fruit loaf, but it might be, you know, doing other nice things, giving people lifts or offering or um, that sort of thing as much as possible.
John Milham (Host) · 21:08
So do you think people are kind? Can they be kind? Uh, you know, if doing and being is different, and that rings true for me, what is being kind? And, and are people okay with that? Like, do we need to teach or learn, or do we just allow being kind to happen?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 21:28
I think like most things, Probably I take some of mine from role modeling, um, both from childhood as well as just life experience in terms of kind people and how they demonstrated it and modeled it. Um, and then from my own personal experience, what's mattered to me, what's been most helpful when I've been in bad times in terms of kindness and people reaching out and checking in and asking that question, "Are you okay?" sorts of things at difficult times. And then it's also about, if you ask the question, you've gotta have time to listen. You know, can't ask it and just move on and, you know, on to the next thing. No, no, no. If you ask the question, you need to take time to listen. It's a way of being, I think. Not, you know, as much as possible, not getting so caught up in, your own little egocentric, um, narcissistic world. Yeah. Always making time if it seems the right thing to do.
John Milham (Host) · 22:33
Yeah. It's, it's interesting because, you know, your, your career was, you know, high flying. You had, um, you know, corporate experience, you know, international exposure, you know, highest level of organizations. And then, you know, in 2017, as you've described things, you went awry and there you found yourself in places you hadn't been before. Do you think that gave, you know, what was about that that got you from 2017 to 2019 where you turned Being Kind into an enterprise?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 23:08
Difficult, difficult times. And one of the key elements of my survival in many ways was my getting out, joining— I'd already was part of and had been for some years a Keep Fit group, which is called Lifestyle Adventure Training, and it had a name prior to that, but it's been the core of me getting out of bed every morning and getting to a 6 AM class, mostly on the beach down here in Hampton, um, and having an amazing group of friends who have been part of the journey peripherally because they're just part of my life, but, um, and some of them much, much closer, um, and a commitment to physical fitness that I knew would significantly impact my mental health. And I'm always commenting on that with the group in terms of recognizing the importance of mental health and how fitness impacts that. Very, very, very important. It was interesting, there's another group that meets at the same place as we meet down on the beach and One of the participants in that was saying to me that her group always met and they went swimming and sort of, you know, swimming through winter and all that sort of thing. And she said, "I always just thought it was a physical health thing until COVID came along." And then she realized we all suddenly had this wake-up call that this was seriously about mental health and how important it was. And I love it when people get that connection. It's not just about, you know, going and running around and, you know, doing a few exercises and lifting a few weights or even just going for a swim. The importance on mental health of physical health is just absolutely profound in my view. And if we could, so we'll get people out even walking. People say, can we have, you know, Chatty Cafe walking? It's like, absolutely, walk and chat. Absolutely, run and chat. You know what, I love what's happening at the moment. I'm thrilled, and I don't know how Chatty can— going to become part of it, but we've struggled to get young people on board with Chatty, and the fastest growing group of lonely people, as statistical evidence, are young people 18 to 25. So that's very, very scary. But what's happening is they've self-generated sort of running groups. And these running groups of young people are getting together and going for, you know, runs. I don't know how long for, what the sort of rules are around that. But the nicest thing about that is after that, they all go for coffee.
John Milham (Host) · 26:05
Yeah, yeah.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 26:05
And that's where, while they're running and chatting, but they sit down for coffee and have, you know, have a fun social connect opportunity over coffee. And I absolutely love that. Absolutely love it. And if we could just get more young people out, you know, going for a bit of a jog, even if they can't start, have a walking group, and then, you know, just go off and have a coffee afterwards. That would be absolutely sensational if we could sort of bring that as, as part of, um, consistent lifestyle across Australia for young people. That would be absolutely sensational. Yeah. And then people would say at the moment, the cost of living crisis, I must say, is really impacting dispensable income. So I'm just aware, you know, to not be, you know, too privileged around that. Some people can't afford to go to the coffee shop and have a coffee. But even if you go to your own home and with a group of people, if you know you're comfortable having them come in and get yourself a Nescafé out of the jar, you know, and it won't cost you $5 and just connect.
John Milham (Host) · 27:13
I love that. I love the idea that finding the intersection of generations can be the coffee shop, right? Well, different activities relate to different age groups, right? And of course, the coffee shop can be a focus for generational paying it forward. Maybe the benefit of the boomers could buy the coffee for the young people doing it tough with cost of living issues. So who knows?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 27:41
Yeah, no, no, the pay it forward concept, it would be fantastic if we had more of that. Um, but I would, I would make a comment on the commercial hospitality, um, settings. Um, I think they didn't get as much acknowledgement as they should have in terms of the role they played during COVID And where I live, coffee shops got bottles of champagne, cards, thank yous, flowers. People just said you kept to the baristas and to the management was you kept me on the planet. I had a place to come for my one hour, particularly if you're in Victoria, my one hour out. I came for coffee and I met and just chatted, even though I kept 1.5 metre distance from people on the street waiting for their coffee. I talked to someone, I talked to another human being. That's how I maintain my mental health. And I don't think that they got nearly enough acknowledgement. By the powers that be for the role they played during COVID to keep community connected. But I would say I also think on the other side of that, I would like to think that, that café owners and management do recognise that there is some social responsibility that they have in terms of not just the concept of profit with purpose. I'm very, very keen on. And many venues that sign up for CHATTIE, that's what they're about. They take the money, but they also recognise the wellbeing of their customers is extremely important. And they're the sorts of venues where CHATTIE goes well. If you're just in it for the profit, then that's probably not a CHATTIE venue. But if you're in it for not just that, but the engagement with your community. And many owners, they say, that's what we do. We talk to the customers. That's what we do. That's why we're in it. We socialise with them. They're absolutely sensational, chatty, chatty banyas. Yeah. And we don't require them to necessarily have a table or a volunteer, which some other settings do. We just do sit, chat, share care. It's a window sticker. Just says, come on in, sit down, and we'll talk to you. And we'll encourage other people sitting by themselves if they want to, to talk to you too. Yeah, it's great.
John Milham (Host) · 29:56
It's a beautiful model. What, you know, going, you know, now to like after navigating that, those challenging times and then you looked around and saw an opportunity to make a difference in that particular zone, right? In that sort of connecting and bringing people into their own team. You had a team that helped you get through. And I wondered, tell us how you decided that, you know, you found UK and how you decided you were gonna shape Chatty Australia.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 30:34
How did, what happened? I have no idea. I've got no answer to that. It just seemed like, you know, I had an idea to do it myself. I was gonna call it Coffee Connect.
John Milham (Host) · 30:43
Yeah.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 30:44
There was a business in New South Wales that had the name. And I contacted them like, you know, could I steal the name off you? Because they weren't doing much with it. And they were, no. I was like, oh. And then I found out about the UK and they sort of already had a bit of a model, you know. So that's how we went down that road. But if I laugh because talk about, you know, sow a seed and it turns into an oak tree. You know, I had no idea what I was getting into. There was no serious kind of real thought about what this, you know, I couldn't project forward. It's like starting a charity in Australia. It just seemed like a really good idea, John.
John Milham (Host) · 31:24
Yeah. Yeah.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 31:25
So, oh, I can do that. Yeah. Okay. And oh my God, the things I've learned. It's just been quite, quite an incredible journey. But yeah, certainly a very sharp learning curve. But you know, we're still here. We're still resilient. We haven't done it perfectly and we're not because we don't have all the funding that we need to have the resources that we need to do it as well as I'd like. We're pursuing those through corporate partners, grants, government. Anybody out there wants to support CHATTIE, we're looking for partners. We've got a fantastic organisational chart in terms of what we know we need and could set up and absolutely dynamite. We've got people who really want to work for CHATTIE. And I am, I would say in that, that from a financial perspective, we've had some brilliant volunteers, but I think at some point you have to recognise that and respect that people deserve some income for the time they're putting in. And that's sort of the position I hold on that. I personally, that was my decision to start it up. I don't need the funding. It'd be nice to have some, but I'm not taking a salary. I haven't taken a salary for 5 years. There's nothing really to take. But I have people who want to be National Operations Manager, National Volunteer Manager, Regional Managers, State Managers. I've got people ready to leap into those roles, but we need resources to fund them.
John Milham (Host) · 33:00
Beautiful. So your Obviously it's an operation, as you point out, it's difficult to have a charity sometimes in Australia with, well, despite all the worthiness, it's not a measure of worthiness. It's a measure of sometimes I don't know what it measures, but yeah. What I'm interested in, in what do you think will make the difference with Chatty Cafe? What's the Why is this really important for Australia?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 33:34
I think we're living in a somewhat disconnected society at the moment. Social media for me in many cases, antisocial. Yeah. I think it's counterproductive. And I think the loneliness statistics for young people are an indicator of that. It's not about how many friends you've got on Facebook. It's like, If you hit a rough patch, how many do you have to reach out to who will really, really, really be there for you? So it's that disconnection element that I think we need to be taking a serious look at across Australia. And that sort of drives me forward, I think, in terms of what we are doing. Yeah, and I do think, I think this year in particular, going into 20 financial year, 25. It's— the charities are really, really doing it tough, from the biggest to the smallest. We're just a, you know, relative startup. You know, we haven't even made, you know, sort of annual $250,000 or anything like that, you know, $100,000-something, to the big ones that have got some millions, which should be great. In Kitty. But it's tough times for charities, and I do think that government needs to recognise the role that we're playing and the need to— there's a real thinking around that we don't need resources. Well, people just volunteer. During COVID one-third of volunteers disappeared. Around Australia and they haven't come back in the numbers. So, and the resources disappeared and people now during COVID and now don't have dispensable income, et cetera. So donations, et cetera, for many, many are down, et cetera. So it's a very, very difficult time for charities and it seems like there's this increase of, as the need gets greater, the capacity for the charities to meet the need is dropping. We're just getting wider and wider in terms of the separation between the need and the capability or capacity. So yeah, I think government needs to sort of have a bit of a wake-up call and realize that without social connection, without social fabric, the organization, the country will begin to slowly disintegrate. Diminish.
John Milham (Host) · 36:13
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 36:14
And it's connectedness, um, and I think we're seeing that already in terms of statistics right now, in terms of whether it be, um, crime or homelessness, uh, suicide, those sorts of things. Um, I think a bit of money thrown our way, um, would go a very, very, very long way to, to some really great organizations. Ours is just one. We're just one initiative. I mean, there are heaps out there, and I'm not interested in competition. I'm interested only in collaboration. Yeah. With others to get as many people given opportunities to connect as possible. That will cost them financially minimal. Yeah. But in terms of mental and social health and physical health, optimum, optimum outcomes.
John Milham (Host) · 37:05
I love talking about the Pareto rule, 80/20 principle, because 80% of the wellbeing really can be involved on a community basis. The community only needs 20% of the funding to make 80% of the headway, support people around them. And we do that not for money, but because it's our life, it's the life of the community and the people we love around us. So I couldn't agree more. So interesting then, assuming that situation does seem grim and social determinants are becoming a real issue, things like homelessness and loneliness, and there's been some research out that loneliness is more damaging physically than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So what do you, What do you, what do you hope for? What's your vision for Chatty going forward?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 38:02
The, the combined vision across the UK and ourselves, and I, I would mention we've got a wonderful young woman in, in the USA starting up Chatty in the USA at the moment, which is fantastic, is, is that the concept of chatty tables or places where customers where all participants are encouraged to sit together and chat and welcomes everyone at the table, no matter what the social demographic, to have those ubiquitous across Australia. That no matter where you go, whichever café you walk into, wherever you're travelling and want somewhere to go and feel welcome, that that's ubiquitous everywhere across Australia, and that we are a welcoming country. We've always been known as a welcoming country. That social fabric disconnection that's happening at the moment, we need to repair that and then just sort of continue back with the concept of mateship. Yeah. That we've always had in this country, and there's a little something that's got lost along the way about who we are as a nation and our reaching out. We're still doing it, but not in the numbers that we need to. And reach out to your neighbors, find out, you know, who's living upstairs, next door, next to you, whatever. Um, uh, yeah. And, and the whole concept of, you know, multiculturalism, etc., which is absolutely sensational in terms of the words that we say But we have to work a bit harder in that area too, I think, in terms of reaching out to people from different cultures, et cetera. But the big picture for CHATTIE is that in social hospitality venues across Australia, whether they be commercial or community, that we offer opportunities, whether they be through CHATTIE Cafe or anything else for social, social connection. Beautiful.
John Milham (Host) · 40:10
And the Glenys that's separate from Tatty, what, what do you, what do you look forward to? What's your vision for your, for your time going forward?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 40:21
That was great. I was just sharing with you before we started, um, recording about, uh, the, the drive down from Townsville unexpectedly over Easter. Um, and, and, and deciding what's important for me. Was the importance of nature. I do as much outdoor stuff and trekking as I can. So keeping that up. Animals are incredibly important to me. Family and friends, obviously, social connection and kindness. These were sort of things that were areas of importance as well as values that were important. Yeah, so, so going forward for myself, getting a bit older, um, a bit of a better balance at the moment than the hours I'm working on Chatty and, and some opportunity in terms of, um, uh, a bit more probably, um, time to, to engage, whatever. Beyond, it's not a job, it's never a job to do that without the chatty umbrella, just to do those sorts of things with people I really wanna be with. My brother, for example, I'm sort of reaching out more to him and saying, come on, we'd go trekking. We went to Nepal together. Oh wow. Want him to do Lhara Pinta with me and doing a few treks myself, doing the Camino. Not all 800 kilometers, but—
John Milham (Host) · 41:55
Well, that's the big 3 there. I'll be quiet here because I struggle to walk down to the local shop, but that's impressive. So if you can rack them up.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 42:06
Yeah. Yeah. So a bit more of that, but just a bit more time, a family. My partner and I now have a grandson in the family. So spending some time with Freddie and yeah, just taking time to be with special people and just, yeah, every day recognising the importance of those connections. I've got an amazing group of grammar friends that I went to school with and there's, I think there's 7, one's passed away. And, um, while they mostly live in Canberra, just trying to remain connected with them, spend a bit more time with them, with family, family in Canberra. I don't get up there as much as I'd like. There's family in Syd— Melbourne. I spend quite a bit of time, as much as I can with them, you know? Yeah. So yeah, family, family and friends and my dogs.
John Milham (Host) · 43:06
So it's a good list of values there. What, what is it? What is important about being true to your values? What do you now know after this journey?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 43:13
I think war— nobody wins in a war. I'd like to see the end of that. Um, it's a bit of a hippie in younger days, so we all held hands around the old Parliament House and saying, 'Give peace a chance.' It was great. Um, that'd be great. Um, and for my father's experience, I don't think anybody wins in a war. No. So just, uh, yeah, doing whatever I can to work towards peace. Climate change, looking after the environment.
John Milham (Host) · 43:42
And being kind.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 43:44
Yeah, being kind. Just being as much as you can, you know, the nicest person you can be. I mean, I'm not a big fan of anger. I've had times when I've been very angry and I just— like, anger's counterproductive. I don't know whether it drives you forward. That much. I think it probably holds you back. Yeah. Good, deep questions. So I'll think further. I'm sorry I haven't thought about those.
John Milham (Host) · 44:14
No, no, that you've been full of, we've chatted.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 44:18
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 44:19
Full of wisdom and really value your insights on some of those. So I won't torture you any further with more, but I do at this point in time, like you've, You've shared some of your story so generously and some of your vision as well. So what would you then say, you know, like somebody's looking at this online and they're going to say, wow, you know, that's an amazing, you know, amount of legacy and an incredible amount of energy to do something different in the world. What would you tell them that they're capable of doing?
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 45:00
Oh, okay. I've got once again a bit of a, uh, don't know what, what the correct grammar term for it is. I'm a huge believer in the power of one. Mm-hmm. And I think, yeah, I, I think nobody should underestimate their capacity, um, no matter what their background, uh, to make a difference, uh, in the world, even if it's just to one person. That's sort of where the kindness element comes in. Or bigger picture, not to get so caught up in your— I saw, I watched with my partner yesterday, 'cause I'm going to do the Camino. We watched The Way, My Way. I don't know if you've seen it.
John Milham (Host) · 45:48
Yeah, it's amazing.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 45:50
Yeah. It's a fantastic sort of true story about Um, going on a trek and sort of doing a, a pilgrimage, not a religious pilgrimage really, but a pilgrimage to—
John Milham (Host) · 46:02
well, it's about identity, isn't it? It's about identity, about being someone.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 46:08
Yeah, exactly. And, and who you are. And I, I really liked his comment about that all the, uh, all the stuff and baggage that we carry with us, just a burden, just, um, you know, sort of get rid of all the peripheral stuff as much as you can sensibly. And I don't know about, you know, I'm obviously getting older and I'm just trying to declutter. Yeah. Simplify, simplify your life. Not of course in terms of people that are homeless, that's a terrible situation and not to that degree I'm suggesting, but yeah, it's time. Declutter a little bit and have the opportunity to think through what is important and how you might focus on it. But no, everybody, power of one and everybody's got a story. It's very much a chatty thing. Everybody's got a story to share and take the time to listen.
John Milham (Host) · 47:04
Well, that's an amazing segue into Katsugi Heroes because we want to hear everybody's story as well. So And it's been a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing today and for being so open and inspiring. And of course, I would just say, you've got 70 volunteers. I'd love that to be 700 volunteers. So, you know, so would I. Yeah. So hopefully that's, you know, this is one moment of inspiration for people out there to go and sign up to have conversations at coffee shops.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 47:41
Can I spruik the website if anybody wants?
John Milham (Host) · 47:44
Of course, absolutely.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 47:45
chattycafeaustralia.org.au.
John Milham (Host) · 47:47
It's been wonderful. Thank you, Glenys.
Glenys Reid (R) (Guest) · 47:51
Okay, fantastic. Thank you, John, for such a great opportunity to have a chat.
John Milham (Host) · 47:55
No, it's been terrific. Talk soon. Thank you for listening to this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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