Diane Klem-Goode · 46 min
Born into extreme domestic violence with nowhere to turn, Diane Klem-Goode transformed childhood terror into a lifelong mission to secure safe housing and healing for women escaping abuse.
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At five years old, Diane Klem-Goode made a vow that would shape her entire life. After her mother tried to leave her father and was caught, Diane was struck and thrown across a room. Later that same year, during the tense hour before her father came home from work, her mother attacked her. Her sister stopped it. In that moment, with no safe adult in the house, Diane decided she would get her own home. She didn't know how. She just knew she had to.
Born into extreme domestic violence, Diane carried it in her body from infancy: severe asthma, anxiety, no self-worth. But that moment of deciding to escape became her fuel. From age fourteen, she worked seven days a week, took every job she could find, saved every cent, and visualised her goals each night. She bought her first home at twenty-one. Later, when her children were born, she made the harder choice to step back from her parents to protect them from the same patterns. The unresolved trauma lived in her bones as arthritis, chronic migraines, and inflammation until she worked with a therapist to release it.
Years later, Diane met a woman at a seminar who had slept in her car with her children to escape an abusive marriage, because refuges would not take mixed-gender families. That conversation shifted everything. Diane realised abuse cuts across every income level and that safety requires more than a few months in temporary housing. She is now building beautiful, long-term homes where families can stay together and heal. She also calls on anyone who witnesses abuse to contact the police, because the person being hurt often has no voice. Most importantly, she wants anyone still in an abusive situation to know this: reach out and ask for help. There are people who will listen. A different life is waiting.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses domestic & family violence, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au
“I'll never forget thinking there is no escape.”
“In that instance there was no safe person in the house that was an adult.”
“From then I vowed that I would never be in these circumstances ever again.”
The hero, today
When Diane was five years old and her mother tried to strangle her, her sister stopped it, and Diane vowed to get her own home because there was no safe person in the house anymore. Diane worked two full-time jobs at seven days a week for years, saved every cent, and visualised her goals nightly because she knew that being safe and free from stress was worth paying the price for. Diane walked away from her parents to protect her children from the same patterns she grew up with, and only when she released the unresolved anger through therapy did her chronic pain, asthma, and migraines begin to heal. Diane met a woman in an abusive marriage with children who slept in her car under street lights because refuges would not take mixed-gender families, and this showed her that abuse cuts across every income level and that safety requires long-term housing, not a few months. The most important thing Diane can tell someone still in an abusive situation is to reach out and ask for help, because there are people who will listen and assist, and safety matters more than where you live or what you own. Diane urges anyone who witnesses abuse to call the police, because the person being hurt often has no voice and cannot ask for help themselves, and a simple phone call can save a life.
Yes. Diane Klem-Goode is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
When Diane was five years old and her mother tried to strangle her, her sister stopped it, and Diane vowed to get her own home because there was no safe person in the house anymore.
Diane worked two full-time jobs at seven days a week for years, saved every cent, and visualised her goals nightly because she knew that being safe and free from stress was worth paying the price for.
Diane walked away from her parents to protect her children from the same patterns she grew up with, and only when she released the unresolved anger through therapy did her chronic pain, asthma, and migraines begin to heal.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 00:07
Welcome to the Kintsugi Heroes podcast, where we share inspirational stories of everyday people going through different challenges and how they overcome them. Please be aware that the story you're about to hear may have moments of deeply felt emotions and personal experiences. If anything you hear has a triggering effect please reach out to someone who can help keep you safe. If you love this conversation, we'd love you to like and share it with your friends so we can continue to share more inspiration and hope to as many people as possible. Now listen up for our next hero story. My story today is with Diane Clem Good. She's the founder of Good Property Group Buyers Agency, and she's on a mission to support domestic abuse survivors by finding their voice, building their confidence, and helping them get into safe and affordable housing. You know, as a young child, she grew up in extreme domestic violence, and she has vivid memories of being in a situation where she didn't feel safe. And that instilled in her this drive and a knowing and a belief that she needed to create safety for herself as soon as she could. And what I love is that she's not closed at all, and whilst she's been hurt many times through her life. She's here to give others a better life. It's just beautiful. What a lady, what a journey. And I'm really grateful to Diane for sharing this story. So please enjoy this one with Diane. Hello, here we are. It's another episode, and I'm here with Diane Clem Good. And it is so lovely to have you here today, Diane.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 01:58
Oh, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 02:01
Well, I appreciate you spending this time with me, showing up, being brave and, and, uh, courageous and willing to share your story. I know it's not easy, and sometimes it, it brings stuff up for us, and it can be difficult, but it is very— I guess it's for a good cause, and it's also healing. And, um, I always just like to acknowledge and thank people for coming to share their stories. It's a very important aspect of our humanity, I believe.
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Diane met a woman in an abusive marriage with children who slept in her car under street lights because refuges would not take mixed-gender families, and this showed her that abuse cuts across every income level and that safety requires long-term housing, not a few months.
This conversation includes a five-year-old decides she needs her own home, the train station and the car that followed, the day her safe person became a threat, childhood symptoms: asthma, shyness, no self-worth, working seven days a week at fourteen and her children forced her to walk away from her parents.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 02:29
And I think, I think it's sort of the more you share, the easier it becomes. And then when you have feedback that it's resonated with someone else or it's helped them or they reach out, um, you're not alone. You're not the only one that's gone through certain circumstances.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 02:45
Well, this is about your story, so now I'm going to hand over to you. Could you Now take us back to the beginning of your story.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 02:53
Okay, so I was brought up being the youngest of 4 children. Um, we were raised in a very small 2-bedroom semi. My brothers lived out in the, uh, sunroom at the back that was converted into a bedroom. So there wasn't a lot of space, you know, we lived on each— in each other's pockets. Um, and my father was, uh, a very abusive alcoholic. And quite aggressive. So you could imagine a very tall gentleman when you're young would just echo through the house. So, you know, there was instances you knew from, you know, from 6 o'clock onwards, you know, that would be a pressure cooker. It would be simply like, okay, you get home from school and you think, okay, it's 5 o'clock. Anything really from 4 o'clock to 6, may be the time that he would arrive home. And basically the tension just built. And so even, you know, the jingle of the keys, I can still remember the jingle of the keys, and when that key slotted into the lock, then you knew, okay, where was the safest place that was going to be out of sight, basically. If you're out of sight and not heard, then there's always more, you know, you're safer. But there's two incidences I'd like to share, and hopefully, you know, if anyone's been through the same story, same incidents, it will, you know, make you feel, you know, you are not alone. And the first one was, it was, I'll never forget it, a Saturday, and it was a very dark, rainy night, and he had been drinking at the pub. And so he's come home, and it was just my mother and I, and so of course, a fight erupted. And, um, my mother decided, okay, we were going to leave. So I'll never forget, the suitcase was on the bed and she's putting the clothes in, and, you know, I was around 5 and thinking, oh, there's going to be some safety. And you do get a bit excited. However, I was in between the two of them, and because my father just wanted to get to my mother, so he just backhanded me, um, And I flew across the room and hit the side, uh, was like a steel side of the bed. And I'll never forget how that felt to hit it and then thump on the ground. And then I thought, okay, now it's escalating, um, a little bit more. So we eventually, you know, get, get to walk down to the train station. My mother didn't drive, so it was pouring rain. And I remember just thinking it was dark and it was wet. But there was hope. Someplace, I had no idea where we were going, and I just remember looking at the train station with all these train stops, and they used to be wooden, um, things you used to turn. And I couldn't read either, and so I was just like going, oh, it was just like a fantasy. It was just something magical was in the air. However, my father had driven all the way down following us with the windows open, cursing and swearing and trying to get us back. So of course, in those days, the neighborhood knew exactly what was going on. And the next recollection, I was sitting in the back of the car. So all that hope had gone, and I'll never forget thinking, there is no escape. So that was the, that was the one that sticks in my mind in relation to my father. And it was the one that you started me thinking, okay, and I, I'm a firm believer of it's, if it's to be, it's up to me. I might have been young, but I just thought there has to be a way out. There has to be somewhere safe. You go to other, you go to your friends' places and you can see a different dynamic of families. And I'm thinking, why don't I have that within my family? And then, you know, so I thought, okay, I've got one parent. Um, that I can lean on. That was my safe, safe place, you know. And I was protective of my mother because, you know, um, because you have to have, I believe, at least one that you can turn to. Um, however, that sort of shattered, um, in one incident. And, um, it was just simply the witching hour, you know, before He arrives home, so the tension's building and everyone's getting a bit more anxious. And I'll never forget, my brother was sitting in the desk in the hallway, um, because it was a very small home. And I was just, you know, having fun with my sister that I thought at that age. And, um, and I'll never forget, you know, and I was teasing her about something and she got a little bit upset about it. And then the next recollection is, um, actually just laying on my back. And my mother was, um, straddling me and choking me. So it was just like, in that instance, it was like, has it all been a lie? Has it all been— it's just all been false. And in that instance, there was no safe person in the house that was an adult, and it took my sister to, um, pull her off. And stop her in action. And from then, I vowed that I would never be in these circumstances ever again. That somehow— and I was 5, and I still remember thinking, I need to get my own home. And all I knew back in those days was, you know, Woolworths. And I'm thinking, I don't see houses for sale in Woolworths. Didn't know a real estate agency, didn't know anything, you know, where to go and get them. I knew they were big, so they must have to be expensive, because safety in that home was not possible. So as traumatic as it was, and it's not easy going through something like that, um, it gave me absolutely incredible resilience, I believe, and a very strong focus and determination. So from there, I suppose, really was born a very good work ethic and also a love for real estate, for property, because I knew I had to work hard, I had to get money in, I had to save it and handle it very well to get to my safe place, really. And that's when the entrepreneur was born. You know, I did every pocket money job you could think of. I saved. I worked from 14, 9 months, as a Woolies checkout chick. I did that as well, and it just made me want to serve others, especially around property and getting their homes. And, you know, I've worked 7 days a week. I've done everything that you could possibly think of to get me to my first home, and eventually, yeah, I ended up going into my first property. Was at 17, and bought my first home at the age of 21. And, um, and I just love helping others to do the same. And I'm now, um, quite happy to mentor other women, um, especially that have gone through domestic abuse, because I know what it feels like, and I know the work you have to do It's not easy. It is not easy to have those events released as well, and it's, it's too hard to do it on your own. You know, there's been times that I didn't want, want to get out of bed, you know, times I got, I've got kids even, I've got to go and do. There's been a lot of highs and lows, but at the end of the day, I think the best feeling is, is when you can help and serve others do it as well. Um, it's just amazing. But if I hadn't gone through those events, would I be doing what I'm doing today? I don't know. But to be able to help others is a very big cause of mine, and to, you know, help other charities that do domestic abuse as well. Um, because it does— it's— I don't know, it's just I like to always turn things into the positive side and look at the lessons and that, you know, we can gain from them. And that's, that's what I've done with the majority of them. But I had to reach out to a wonderful man called Michael Adamides. And had to do some therapy with him to release it and to heal those wounds. And so it has been a journey and has been, you know, of course lots of other events along the way of growing up, but it makes you value every minute that you have and it makes you value very supportive and loving relationships. And, you know, it has allowed me to become very nurturing and very caring, and also into a leadership role that, you know, when you're brought up in that sort of situation, you are brought up to be seen and not heard. Um, and also it was safer. It was so much safer when the keys went in that door. You just found a spot, you know. When the fights were on, we were very fortunate, we were across the road from a park, so it's cross to the park. So it does give you— but to this day, there are some times I think, oh, I'm very aware of my surroundings. I'm very, you know, I will know where windows are and exits are and doors are. And that's just something I've just picked up just recently that I think I always know where an exit is. But it's just a healing process that you go through, and it's just— it has made me extremely motivated to make sure and help others. So that's basically my story. It's not unique, but it is something that, you know, I don't know, it's just, it makes you a little bit stronger, a bit more resilient. And, you know, and if anyone's going through that, that you're not alone. You know, this society today is a lot more open about speaking about it. When I was younger, you didn't speak about it. I mean, the neighborhood must have known, but nobody rang the police. No one spoke up. You didn't say it. And I was brought up with the saying, you don't air your dirty laundry in public. So it was that, like, little dark secret that nobody knows. But of course, you know, especially when the police are knocking on your door and, you know, or he's being carried home drunk because he's been found in the gutter. That means the whole neighbourhood then knows, or is having, you know, car accidents in the driveway and the police are called, or, you know, the police are called to up at the other end of the road. 'Cause drink driving wasn't in those days either. So when it becomes a broader story that other people know, it does affect you.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 14:13
Thank you, Diane. I, I was right there with you, um, when you told those, those two incidents. And I've got to— did the fighting and the abuse, um, did that continue through your childhood?
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 14:26
Oh yeah, that was— I was born into it. I was born, um, into the abuse. And, and fascinating enough, when you're in the womb, you do pick up on it. Um, my mother was very much, um, Apparently she was bedridden for the last 6 months with me, and I just think that was the trauma that I was picking up. You know, I was a very, um, had severe bronchial asthma all the time. I was very shy, very, um, overweight, had absolutely no self-confidence at all. And that started from— was from the moment I was born. And, you know, as he grew older, I suppose, um It was— it wasn't worth going into battle about some things, but it made me think of when I had my children. That's when everything started to surface, because I was very aware of, well, when we go and visit, that's their role model, you know. And I just thought, I don't want them to think that that's okay, that you don't, you know, have a loving, close relationship with your family or with your parents. And it's okay for, you know, to— you have to be quiet because you don't want to offend or, you know, create a fight or anything like that. So that was very— that's when I became very aware, and it triggered me a lot. And I did go and have some session, you know, few sessions with Michael Adamides, and thinking, okay, it's all right to back away if I have to, if I have to, because I just thought there was certain other sort of events that were happening, and I thought No, not for my kids. So that's when I did make the decision to then walk away, and I walked away simply because my mother was also very passive-aggressive, and being English background, you don't talk about— everything goes under the carpet. And that carpet becomes a big mountain in the end. When you cannot talk about events and you contain them, I was becoming, um, I was having chronic migraines, asthma attacks. Every time I went there, I'd be written off for days afterwards. Um, so I took a step back because all the stress when I was pregnant with my son, there was an incident and I found myself in ICU and it was, you know, life or death for both of us. And my mother was, I said, please don't send me any visitors. I need to just just me and my husband. I don't want any stress. I don't want, you know, um, but no, she turned up with my father and caused a bit of a scene, and that made me stay in even longer. And that was a turning point. I was— that was one of the points towards the end where I thought, no, I would not want to put someone else's life at risk for the sake of being my rights. So, um, Yeah, so I ended up sort of backing away, and there was a bit of a discussion with my sister, and I sort of let out everything that was bottled up, and I just said, "My doors are open if my mother would like to sit down and have a conversation, but an open conversation, because I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask." And, you know, that never occurred. That was never— never happened. But at least I could say I did the best thing for my kids, the best thing to keep them safe and secure and sort of realize their own self-worth, because they could see— they could see some changes as well. So the door was open. Unfortunately, it wasn't taken up. We weren't brought up that you have, you know, conversations or anything like that. So that was really where I left it. And then it was freeing that I could then think, okay, I can now be me and who I want to be. Um, because even at the end, family discussions, I wasn't allowed to talk about my business or my properties or the kit. We weren't able to talk about anything because it upset another person in the family. Um, so I had shut down, and that's when the migraines and the asthma attacks would start. So walking away allowed me to just— I think the best thing is to breathe, to just breathe. And yeah, so that was, that was the ending. I had a chance to say goodbye to my father. He was in hospital and a family member contacted me, so I went and made peace with him. My mother was different. Apparently she was in Calgary for a long time, and I just got the phone call before that she'd passed. So that was another stage of, okay, to go through that, because I thought, oh, as a mother, if I had bad will or disconnect with my kids, at least when I'm passing, I would want to make amends or to do something. So yeah, so I never got to really— I said goodbye my own way, so that was good. But, um, I sort of think it all happens for a reason. It all eventually, you know, life is always going to be some ups and downs, and it's what you take out of it. And from that situation, you know, I did get a program into a school when my kids were in primary school, and it was just about self-belief, motivation, goal setting, achieving, and celebrating your successes, whatever that could be. Even little kindergartens did it. Whatever that was, and they celebrated as a team, as a unity, close together. Um, so there are, there are some highlights, and there's, you know, of course, some, some down, some down episodes as well. But there is, um, you just got to keep going. You just have to keep going. Get out of bed when you don't want to. Those days you don't want to, you just have to get up. And even if it's just throw something on and just do some movement, do whatever. And that's been the biggest blessing with my kids. I had to get up and I had to keep going. I had to run the businesses because we needed the money to support the family. So, um, yeah, that's, um, a little bit more of my story.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 20:41
Well, it's tough. Yeah, we— I think no one's immune to having family issues, but when you have this foundation of abuse and the violence, uh, when you're born into it, you know, in the whole life of it, you know, That's— I, I don't know that that's commonplace, you know. And for, for me, listening to your story, I'm just putting myself in your shoes, or trying to, and I'm thinking, wow, that's heavy, that's hard. And it sounds like you did a very loving and brave thing when you walked away. You've, you've focused on your children and the impact on them, which is the most loving thing you can do. And I'm really pleased that you were able to heal. And, and, you know, do what you've, what you've done. I'm really amazed at the tenacity of, of you as this young girl that was so driven to buy her own safety net, her own, her own house. Did, did that as you were— let's say it started when you're 5, and then between the age of 5 and 17 you said you got out, and then you bought your first house at 21. Was the ongoing environment as a child growing up, was that just continued validation of this desire to get your own house? It was like, I just can't wait to get my own place one day.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 22:01
It did. It, it, it— and that's in a way a positive side of it because, you know, you just— I was— I'm very good at goal setting and achieving and focusing, and I knew the more I earned the more I could save. And it drove me. It absolutely— I mean, I was doing 7 days a week. I had 2 full-time jobs, a night job, a morning job, and I worked 7 days a week at Onstage. I didn't spend a cent that I didn't have to. But when I look back, that was the beginning. And that was— I think that was the belief in me, really, that, okay, I know what I've got to do, and if I follow this, surely I'm going to get that, surely. And that, you know, you know, you've got fights going on at nighttime, or there's other, you know, not pleasant things going on. You just— I think in that moment when I was being strangled, that's when the fire was ignited. That was when the first time I could actually think of that there was a self-belief that I deserved better.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 23:12
Sorry for the interruption.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 23:14
This is Ian Westmoreland, the founder of Katsuki Heroes, and thank you for listening to this story from one of our amazing heroes. Our mission is for these stories to provide hope and inspiration to people experiencing life challenges and to also educate the broader community on how best to provide support. If you would like to help us to continue to produce more hero stories and cover more adversity themes, we would welcome all donations. These can be made via our website, kintsugiheroes.com.au.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 23:45
The donate function is at the bottom of the home page.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 23:48
We'd also welcome any feedback. You can email me direct using ian@kintsugiheroes.com.au. Now let's get back to the story. Because you just settle with, oh well, this is life and this is family and there's nothing better out there. But in that moment, I think the fighter came out, that no, I deserve better and I will have better. So every time there was incidences, I just— I didn't— okay, you dealt with those, but you would go to bed at night thinking, and I'm very much into visualization, and I would— I knew my goals, I knew what I wanted. Because— and I also wanted my, my kids to have— like, we were sort of middle class to lower class, and I wanted my kids to have some, some good things in the future. So I thought, if I want this lifestyle, if I want this, and if I want to be safe— most importantly, I wanted to be safe— okay, you got to do some hard stuff, you know. Did, did I, you know, miss out on some stuff while I, you know, towards that first home? Yeah, I did. I did. You know, I wasn't buying the designer clothes. I wasn't doing the world the travel like my friends were. I wasn't, you know, I didn't even buy my own car for a long time. So I had to pay— you pay the price and then you reap the rewards. Because I wanted to pay that price, because me being safe and sound and not having that stress in my body, man, I would do anything for it. So, and that's where it started. And then I started mentoring people as well. To help them get into it as well. Because I think every woman and every person deserves somewhere safe. Need to be able to walk in that door and close it and have an atmosphere that uplifts them and makes them feel so good, not the dread. You deserve— you so much, you deserve it. You just sometimes when you're in it, it's hard to pick up what you're going through. Because you're just stuck in the day-to-day, just survive today, just get this done today. And especially if you got kids, just get this done for the kids, just get this done. And then, you know, tonight you go to bed and you think, okay, fine, yeah. And it, it, it actually erodes your, the energy levels when you get so down. You just think you can't sleep. You're so, you're so tired because you can't sleep because your mind then starts playing up. But then you get, you get distracted by the doing of what you have to get done daily, because that's far easier than looking at, I'm going to have to address this situation. Especially when you've got kids and you have to walk with kids, that's not easy, you know, because you've got to look at, okay, how are they going to take it? Will they, would they want to come with you? Will they— what stage are they in their lives? So, you know, but then if, if you don't address these things, like me, migraines severe asthma attacks, and in the end, as I got older, it was arthritis. All the anger and frustrations went into every bone in my body, and I would wake up at night sobbing, not realizing why I was crying, because my whole body had— it felt like it was just on fire. It hurt just to lay where I was. It hurt too much to turn. And in the end, my left knee was actually seized, so I walked with a limp. I was told I had to have gold injections or a knee reconstruction. And I just thought— and straight away I just thought of, I'm too busy. How will I be able to have time off work? How will I get around with crutches? So all that, and the kids, they've got this on, they've got that. But in the end of the day, with, you know, releasing the anger and the sadness and the grief, I can straighten my leg and I've got it all under control because I was put on severe painkillers and inflammation tablets, um, that was going to affect my organs. When I heard that I should have organ tests every often, I thought, because in the end they don't even work. You build up so much resilience that doesn't matter what I was taking, I was just in constant agony. And when you're in that much pain all the time You're angry, you'll snap. My daughter used to say, you go from 0 to 100 so quick. I said, because in my mind I've got so much going on, my body's raging, and it's just like, I've got to get this done to this schedule, I've got to focus on this, and now this is taking me out here, might take a half an hour to an hour. How do I fit that in? Because I just loaded myself up with, um, a lot of distractions and commitments till I had to really face, okay, I need to go and have some help. And, um, and release it. But I'm now pain, uh, I have a little bit of pain sometimes. No medication at all. No pain medication, no, um, operations. So that's a little bit of a tip if you're feeling it in your cells, because if your mind's not— if you're not listening to your mind and if it's not, you know, helping you because you're busy, it's going to come out in you. You know, you're going to get skin conditions. I've got skin conditions. It's going to come out in your bones and your breathing, whatever, until you allow yourself to release and to heal.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 29:07
That's so good. I love that you shared that, Diane. I love that you brought that up. For those people who've experienced that connection between the emotions stuffing and the pain and not releasing, and then their body ailments, they would understand exactly what, what you've been through. And it's so powerful. So hopefully that's just another gift that you've given the listeners, that if there is uncleared, unresolved, unhealed trauma, like, that's just, you know, stuck energy. We're taking that on. And, and maybe, yeah, the people are actually experiencing those physical ailments without realizing that it's connected to the stuff they've been through. But that's exactly what happens because we're humans and we're all energy.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 29:56
That's it. And you keep containing it and stuffing it down and it settles in your body.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 30:01
I've got a question, Diane. At what point did you realize that you wanted to help other women get into property and help them to get out of domestic violence and in, you know, giving them what you needed yourself? What was— when was that idea realized?
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 30:22
I think again from a very young age, I thought if I was going through it, others must be going through it. I didn't know who they were or anything because, as I said, you go to someone's house and you see a different display of family and relationships. You think, oh, okay. And then as you grow up, you sort of think, mm, yeah, okay, no one's come to the house. Because you don't want them to know what's going on. I was very good, very good at the shop front. Once you walk out that door, game face was on and everything was fine, as long as they didn't know what was happening behind. Because there, you know, there was a stigma, there was a huge stigma back in those days. Divorce was not a thing that, you know, people did. But for as far as helping women, I sort of— it's been stuck, it's been with me for a while. Um, but more recently, um, I'd say, oh, I'd say about 10 years it sort of stuck with me, 10 to 20 maybe, because I just didn't know how to picture it together. I'm very visual and I need to have in detail, and I knew there was a certain opportunity and I thought, you can, you can donate money to charities, but I'm thinking it still didn't sit or didn't feel the right, the right way until sort of, you know, you go through a process, um, and I had my second marriage breakdown and I left my kids. And when I was in different circumstances, I left with my children, came with me, um, and I started to be more aware. And I met a beautiful lady one day at a seminar and she came up to me and she shared her story. And that's why I'm thinking, okay, if you speak and share, it does help. And she shared a story that, um, they had a business— she had a business with her husband, uh, lived in a very exclusive area, uh, very expensive private schools the kids went to, Range Rover. Um, so on the face of it, the shop front, everything was perfect, very successful. However, there was domestic abuse. And she shared a story of that, uh, that she would sleep in her car sometimes at nighttime with her children to escape it. She would find a, um, a light and park the car under that street light. Um, McDonald's are 24/7, you can go and shower that, and she would do that sometimes because of financial control. So she thought, and I thought, that was, that was interesting. It's not just, you know, a certain income level of people. It goes right through. I wanted to go to, like, to a refuge. She goes, but I think she had 2 sons and 1 daughter, and she goes, they won't take male and females. So she goes, what do I do? So I chose that we'll sleep in the car. Because I'm not going to leave any of them at home, or I'm not going to put them somewhere where I'm not there. And that sort of ignited, like, interesting, you know, it is, it is rife. And the statistics you see and you read aren't true indicators, because there's, like myself, like that lady, there's a lot of us out there. You don't go, you don't go and say, tell anyone. You suck it up, you do what you got to do. So from her, and I just thought, why can't you establish homes? The whole family can go and the pets can go too. You know, sometimes they got to leave the security of their dog or their cat, whatever that is. Why can't there be established homes and ones that are done up beautifully? And this is something I am working on, um, that, you know, done up beautifully, that makes them go in there and feel, oh my goodness, and uplifted and supported. So, um, that's always been in my— on my mind, and it's been the last few years that I am sort of working on things, um, towards that, to sort of get something like that, um, off the ground. Because with a lot of them, uh, they may have— may get housing, but it may be only 3 months. Or 6 months. In my opinion, you know, I understand there's a big need for it, so they try and help everyone, but you don't turn your life around in 3 months, 6 months. You don't. And to be financial, if you didn't have employment previously, if you walked away with nothing but the clothes on your back, then how do you support yourself, you know, with your food, your electricity, and your water, let alone housing? In a short period of time, you know? And then do they go from one place to another to the other? Kids need stability. So yeah, so that's something I'm very, very passionate about at the moment, to get something like that off the ground. That's why I talk a lot on domestic abuse, that there is hope, um, because those little children— if you've got kids, they're watching, they're watching, and they need to heal too. You know, some people just think, oh, it's the kids, you know, doesn't affect them. They can hear it. If they're in their beds at night, they can hear it. People think they can't hear. Oh, they're in bed, they're asleep. I'll pretend they're asleep and I'll hear every single thing, um, let alone, you know, watching it or experiencing it as well. So, um, sometimes if you've got to have really hard conversations, it's best when the kids aren't around. Yeah, because they're sponges. They are sponges. And it's interesting, as they grow up, you'll see things and patterns. You'll still think, oh, that's come back to that event, or that's come— what's that belief about? So it is generational. It is generational. And you think, you know, your child, they become a parent, does that— does their children pick up on that and have that same fear or anxiety around situations? So yeah, so sometimes, you know, if you have to take some hard decisions, reach out and speak. I never reached out and spoke to anyone. I just thought I had to do it on my own because of the shame that was attached back then. Um, but please, there's a lot of people that will listen to you and will assist you in any way they can. And if you come across ones that, you know, aren't really interested, that's okay. They're not your people. I sort of think, okay, fine. Um, you find your own little tribe, lots of love and support as well.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 36:56
Very, very wise, very good advice. And I love the initiative that you're working on. It's extremely needed. To me, that's how our society should be. Well, I think, you know, this is part of how we help our fellow humanity, our community, um, and having personally being in a situation where I was homeless with twin babies living in a motel, I understand, you know, there's nothing really available. Um, but I love hearing what you're working on and the passion and where it comes from. And, um, you know, I just want to salute you for that.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 37:42
There is so much need. There is. And please speak out. Please, if you see or hear anything, it doesn't— and I'm grateful in a way, I experienced a situation when I was walking with my daughter and there was abuse going on. You could see him towering over her and yelling at her and she's whimpering and crying and I just thought, no more. You know, I thought, your neighbors can hear this, I can hear it outside, and nobody's doing anything. Just took a simple phone call to the police, and it taught my daughter a very valuable lesson. If you see something like that, you don't have to get involved, you don't get involved, but you can call the police. Do something, because that person, you know, cannot call anyone in that, in that situation. And if you're watching it and doing nothing, well, you're sort of adding fuel to it. You're letting it repeat and repeat and repeat. So please walk away from the situation. As long as you know the location, the number, the street, call. You can do it anonymous if you don't want to get involved, anonymously, um, just to help someone out that just doesn't have a voice in that situation. She doesn't have a voice, she doesn't have the confidence She doesn't even think she's worthy of better, and she probably definitely doesn't have any self-love, especially if it goes on for a long time. It's ingrained. It gets ingrained, like, oh, this is just how life is, you know. This is what relationships are like. This is what marriage is like. Don't expect anything better. So that's my little bit of, um, advice. Please be active. Please, please, because you could save a life. You just don't know.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 39:31
Yeah, thank you for that. I couldn't agree more. Um, Diane, we're at the end of this wonderful conversation, you sharing this story and touching on these topics that are just so important. Is there anything you'd like to say to someone who's listening to this who might be in a situation that is one that you've talked about today, or like your own story? Is there something you'd like to share with them?
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 39:59
Reach out and talk. Use your mouth. It's the most powerful thing you have. And just— it's okay. And this is something I've only learned the last few years. It's okay to ask for help. You know, you— I don't care what background. Like, mine was a very traditional English background and toughen up, and emotions weren't anything. But if you reached out for help, that is the most empowering, powerful thing you can do. To say, I'm not coping, I need help. I mean, I was very lucky that I had some girlfriends that would store some things when I had to get out, um, quietly and quite quick, um, and they picked— because I just said, you know, what was going on. There's people that will help you. Uh, you deserve so much better. You deserve whatever is in your heart. You deserve it. You deserve peace and quiet and serenity. And you'll find that if you talk to someone, lean on someone especially, and when you have to, you have to, that's fine. Because you know what, sometimes you open that conversation up and their life isn't as rosy as you thought. You know, I know personally it's allowed people in my life to come out with some experiences they've had, so it builds a stronger connection as well. But, but, you know, and it doesn't matter where you go to As long as you— if you get out, it doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be the most beautiful home. It doesn't have to be— as long as your kids are safe, especially if you've got kids, doesn't matter where it is. It doesn't matter if you're in a caravan park, you're in a tent, who cares? Because first and foremost, safety, open and honest conversations. But there's a light inside you that has just been dimmed. Most importantly, because you've been conditioned with all of this, you've taken it all on, you've just kept going. But there is that light that you know that you deserve better, and you know, you two just have to let it flame, bring it to light, and be, you know, be open and have conversations like this with people and talk about it. Because the more people talk about it, you start resonating. I've had women reach out to me saying, oh my God, you went through the same thing as I did. But they hadn't shared it ever before. So it's sharing, you know, it's awareness, and the more awareness that goes on it, the more people may take action against it, the more women or men will say, okay, it's not okay to be treated like this. And the more accommodation that we can have— there's options. Like, I know my mother didn't have anywhere to go. I don't even know to this day where she was going. We never talked about it, but she had nowhere to go. Because you just didn't. It was to death, to your part. Um, you know, just this is the way life is. And being very religious, you, you had said your vows. So yeah, so basically I just want to— I want everyone to think that there is a different life awaiting for you. Just reach out and say, I need help. And you might reach out to someone, you don't get it from them, that's okay, you tell it to the next person. And then sometimes you've just got to back yourself and you may have to organise a plan. You may have to get one of those go bags ready. You may have to get things out of the house quietly and you may have to even, in my circumstance, I even had to get the removalists on board and let them know, you know, what happened and there was an incident. I thought I timed it very well. It didn't go according to plan, but I knew that the movers, so, um, were gonna support me. They knew that as hard as it was to have that discussion, I wanted them to be aware in case anything blew up. And so when an occurrence was, um, they knew exactly what needed to be done, um, what my actions were going to be. And, um, so you'd be surprised people that will help you out. And if anyone needs to have a chat, I'm quite happy for people to contact me, um, and, um, assist in any way I can.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 44:03
Thank you, thank you. Such wisdom, love, heart, just everything, Diane. I love, I love what you're doing. It's so purposeful, and you're really so compassionate and helping people at, in their time of need. But also with the, with the goal, it feels like, to help shift our, you know, open our awareness and help shift our behaviors around this and, and creating more of a safe, loving space. And, and that's really beautiful.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 44:35
Thank you.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 44:36
Thank you for sharing your story. I really, really appreciate you being here today.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 44:41
You're welcome.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 44:47
We hope you've enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Please like and share the show to your friends so we can get this out to even more people. If you have a story you'd like to share with us, please reach out using the contact details below. And join us next week for our next hero's story. Until then, keep being you, and remember that we are all heroes in our own unique way. Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken.
Diane Klem-Goode (Guest) · 45:23
When it hits you in the middle of the night and the truth burns so bright. Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. Take pride in those cries. It's only for tonight, and then you rise. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken.
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