Adrian Skeggs · 38 min
A boy who burned down a boat shed on a tiny island grew up to represent Australia on the international rugby stage, because a community refused to give up on him.
Hear this story
Adrian Skeggs grew up on Lord Howe Island, a place of 450 people 700 kilometres off the coast. His mother was bedridden for 22 years and in constant pain. His father left when Adrian was born. As a boy without the attention and stability he needed at home, Adrian pushed every boundary he could find: shooting arrows at tourists, lighting fires, burning down a boat shed. He was seeking attention in the only ways available to him. When his mother died in his second year of boarding school, the void nearly consumed him. She had kept herself alive on 40 tablets a day just to see him grow up, and then chose to stop. Adrian realised she had been his lighthouse. Instead of following a destructive path, he chose to become strong on her behalf, to honour what she had endured.
A stranger named John Hipwell met Adrian at the airport and saw something in him: rugby potential. That single conversation changed everything. Rugby gave Adrian fraternity, belonging, and structure after years of chaos. He played for Queensland, represented Australia in Canada with his mother's photo in his pocket, and carried the island's legacy onto an international stage. But when professional sport ended, Adrian faced his hardest challenge: losing the identity he had built on the pedestal. He struggled to find his calling in a world that no longer defined him by his position or his wins.
Adrian returned to Lord Howe Island to raise his six-year-old son in the same place that saved him. He volunteers at the school, sits on the local council, and works to strengthen connections between young people and older residents. His life now measures success not in personal achievement but in community, legacy, and the word 'we' instead of 'me'. He is teaching his son that their future depends on understanding where they come from and what they can build together.
“I was very blessed to be in a small community that cared.”
“The life I got handed wasn't my choice.”
“She really only kept on living to see me grow up. And the pain was enormous.”
The hero, today
The island community showed up for Adrian and his mother not out of pity but out of genuine connection to who she was and what she'd achieved, and that safety net shaped everything that came after. When Adrian's mother died, he realised she had stayed alive as his lighthouse, and becoming strong on her behalf meant making better choices about who he wanted to be, not following any path but creating his own. Rugby gave Adrian more than sport; it gave him fraternity, a cultural belonging, and a team structure that made sense after years of chaos, and he carried that into everything from international play to coaching young men in prison. The hardest thing Adrian faced wasn't playing at the highest level but leaving sport and losing the identity that came with it, because professional sport had never taught him who he was without the pedestal. Adrian measures success now by community, legacy, and being part of the 'we' not the 'me', and he's teaching his son that their future on the island depends on understanding where they come from and what they can do together.
Yes. Adrian Skeggs is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
The island community showed up for Adrian and his mother not out of pity but out of genuine connection to who she was and what she'd achieved, and that safety net shaped everything that came after.
When Adrian's mother died, he realised she had stayed alive as his lighthouse, and becoming strong on her behalf meant making better choices about who he wanted to be, not following any path but creating his own.
Rugby gave Adrian more than sport; it gave him fraternity, a cultural belonging, and a team structure that made sense after years of chaos, and he carried that into everything from international play to coaching young men in prison.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 00:05
Welcome back to Kintsugi Heroes, helping people tell the stories they need to share so you can find the stories that you need to hear.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 00:15
In this episode, Natalie Stockdale is joined by Adrian Moose Skeggs. Adrian grew up on the idyllic Lord Howe Island, surrounded by close community ties, but faced a tough childhood with a seriously ill mother and limited resources. As a boy, Adrian pushed boundaries and struggled to find direction. But with the support of his island community, he discovered the power of discipline and teamwork through sport. Rugby opened new doors for him, taking him from a small island to representing Australia on an international stage. Adrian's journey is a testament to resilience, community, and the importance of making good choices even when faced with adversity.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 01:08
Hello, Adrian. Thanks for joining us.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 01:11
It's a pleasure, absolutely, sitting here in my lovely little island and looking forward to, uh, the, the show ahead.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 01:17
Yeah, so you're, you're in Lord Howe at the moment, and Lord Howe Island, it has reputation of being absolutely idyllic. Is it as idyllic as it seems?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 01:28
Well, Having been the pleasure of actually, you know, of growing up here and was born here and that sort of stuff, I mean, the beautiful thing about the island is, you know, it's your education as well as your life. And, um, it's a small place, 450 locals and tourism and stuff. But for me, it's just the ability— now I've even got my own son— it's just to go and every day, everywhere you go, you're exploring. And the end of day, there's an experience, a person to meet. So it's an engaging place. It's also beautiful. And it's safe. So it's got all the attributes of what it should be.
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The hardest thing Adrian faced wasn't playing at the highest level but leaving sport and losing the identity that came with it, because professional sport had never taught him who he was without the pedestal.
This conversation includes a small island, a sick mother, and a boy who pushed boundaries, how moose got his name, shooting arrows at tourists and lighting fires, his mother's choice to stop living, sent to boarding school by the island community and the year after she died, he nearly gave up.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 02:04
Sounds wonderful. That sounds like a wonderful place to raise a child as well.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 02:09
Well, when I grew up here, I had a very, you know, tough upbringing, which obviously I think will cross over. But I think the end of the day, for me, I've got a— I brought my 6-year-old back. He's done kindergarten here. We ride bare feet to school every day. I pick him up and stuff, and then And, you know, what we do after and before school is always an adventure on top of that. So yes, it's an absolute privilege and a pleasure.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 02:33
Yeah, yeah, I can imagine. Adrian, you're commonly known as Moose. Can you tell us where the name Moose came from?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 02:42
Well, there's probably— there is probably a lot of versions. Probably some people said maybe it was my dancing style, which could be a bit deranged, so therefore I danced like a moose. But I think really what happened was when I was 13, I just shot up. I was just this big kid. Suddenly I became a big kid. And I don't know, somebody said a few things to me and I became a sort of moose from there and it just sort of stuck. So I'll give you that. That's the tame version, but I think that'll do for now.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 03:10
Okay. Yeah. And thank you. And you grow— you grew up on Lord Howe Island. Can you take us back to your childhood and what your childhood looked like?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 03:21
Well, I think, yeah, well, look, it— when you grow up, when you sort of instinctively, when people are born in a place, they obviously understand what that, what, what it is, what the surroundings are, and obviously surrounded by family and stuff. So there's all those things that sort of help you be and grow what you are. I was born in this amazing place to a mother who was, uh, 22 years bedridden, so therefore she was sick. And she had me at 46. And at that same time, my father felt it was a bit too hard and he left my mother. So growing up, uh, over here to a mother who was mostly bedridden, um, and mostly guided by my old sister, it was extremely tough. But what I found as we went along was that the power of community really came through. And I think the blessing of the Many of her friends and obviously people there, they realized that, you know, this lady had achieved so much in her life that, you know, how can we turn around and look after, you know, little Moosey growing up. But what also came with that is that, you know, for me, um, not having, uh, I suppose the guidance and that sort of stuff of a normal parenting, um, boundaries were broken and I came to be quite rebellious, but I think it was more about part of that embarrassment was also, or torment, was because I was frustrated in life because I didn't have the attention. I didn't have— we didn't have finances, we didn't have all the things. And when I looked around there, but I still, you know, as I said, I still was part of a community and they were— they certainly guided me in the early couple of years. But yeah, there was a time there when I went off the rails, but certainly from my point of view, I was very blessed to be in a small community that cared.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 05:06
Yeah, yeah. So can you tell us more about going off the rails? You have been described as being quite a wild child. Can you give us some examples of some of the wildness or mischief you got up to?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 05:21
Yeah, I think at the end of the day, you're sort of— when you're living on a small place, you always push the boundaries. Um, and for me, it was, um, I always wanted to discover things and stuff like that. So, you know, Being a 10-year-old sitting in a tree with a bow and arrow shooting tourists going past on pushbike, I thought was fun, but then obviously it didn't. But again, it was just— that was what you did. Um, you know, I— in my early, early time, just after that, I started lighting a few fires, which I burnt down a boat shed and a cow bale, which had all our wood in to rebuild our house and stuff like that. But it was more about, you know, I think because of the, you know, the lack of attention I have, I wanted to seek attention in different ways, and therefore I pushed the boundaries into things where I thought, well, if I'm not getting, uh, you know, good clear parenting, or what it was because of mum was sick, I have to get attention in other ways. And I think that's what it was all about in those early years.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 06:20
It must have been difficult for your mother.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 06:23
Oh, look, My mother, my mother, who, you know, basically, you know, in her latter years, she was taking around 40 tablets per day just to keep herself going. And, and the sad thing about all that sort of stuff, which I was too young to understand, that she really only kept on living to see me grow up. Uh, and the pain was enormous, um, and she just basically said it was too much and she just stopped taking medication and 2 weeks later she died because it was just too much. So for me, it was, uh, not until she sort of passed and I said, you know, in my early teens, and then suddenly I realized this massive void. And that's what, you know, that's what woke me up to realize, well, I didn't even tell her I loved her because I was more embarrassed about her being what she was rather than me. But she was just so much in my corner and that, which was staggering. Absolutely staggering. Her love for me was just amazing.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 07:19
So she passed away when you were in your teens. Were you still on the island at that stage?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 07:24
I just started going to boarding school because what had happened was when Mum was sick and that sort of stuff, the island community obviously saw the love that she had for me, but also, you know, that, you know, that I was going off the rails. And at that stage, the community, which was amazing, absolutely amazing thing, they actually got together. And sponsored me to go to the Armadale School for boarding. And, you know, it was just a really amazing thing for the community to do. But obviously part of that was because my mum was so sick, and maybe there's a bit of self-preservation. It was going to burn the island down, so therefore it was about getting me off there, which a lot of people said was probably the main reason. But for me— and then obviously in my second year of boarding, my mother died, and, uh, and which was then Um, yeah, it was just, uh, it, it, it was something I couldn't comprehend, didn't understand. And the emotions, that sort of stuff, didn't hit me for years till after that. But certainly, um, you know, I'm now— she's my hero. She's— I live her legacy. I'm giving my— the attributes and the love that she gave me to my son and my wife. So yeah, I feel very blessed of her memory.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 08:36
Moose, was there a point in that time, in your early days of boarding school, and your mum had passed, was there a time where you attempted to give up and perhaps go down a different path, a more destructive path?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 08:49
I think there was a part of me, it was the element of frustration because one, it took me a year to understand what I'd lost. And then when I came home and there was no one here, there was a void in my life about who was my rock, who could I go to. And so suddenly, suddenly what I did was I turned around and I felt like, wait a second, you know, who's here for me? But what I'd done is I'd actually grown up. I'd pivoted because what I'd realized is that the meaning of why she stuck around was to be my lighthouse. But the other thing is, what I had to do is now is be strong on her behalf. And so being strong is about choices. And I think from what I got from her is that, you know, that she was always a person that powered through things. She was strong. I mean, she's— she was a gospel singer, she was a, you know, she played high-level cricket and stuff like that. So through adversity she had achieved a lot. So for me, I didn't have any adversity. The only adversity I had was I didn't, I wasn't, I didn't have a family unit. Um, but what I did have was the, you know, the ability to serve. So I don't think I actually got the stage where there was another choice there. I think the only choice was for me is to stand up and be a man, just stand up and be a man and say, okay, well, how am I going to embrace this world? And I was enriched by her attributes and her drive and her passion for life and and I suppose for doing the right thing.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 10:25
This wonderful and extraordinary support of the island community. You were in boarding school and at that stage on the mainland, and at that stage rugby entered your life. Can you tell us how rugby did enter your life and how that changed your life?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 10:41
Well, I think what happened was when I got off the plane from Lord Howe, I got greeted by this amazing guy called John Hipwell, who's, who's 3 decades on actually Wallaby. As soon as he looked at me, he said, well, you've got the looks for rugby. So I didn't understand what that was, but he just said I looked like a big buffhead, so therefore at the end of the day you should come in. So being a person that just loved to have a go at anything and stuff, obviously, you know, when I got to school, obviously I didn't understand the game because we only heard rugby league over here on the island, which we had which we listened to on radio. Yes. And so suddenly I got into it and, um, and I liked to, you know, because I was in the first basketball, I was playing tennis, I was obviously first cricket and stuff. It was all about being the best I can. And certainly what I realized that this was a very different type of sport, but what I got from rugby was the fraternity around the sport really was embracing and, uh, and you know, the parents and everybody around it was really, and so suddenly there was a cultural thing why I liked it.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 11:42
Right.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 11:42
And then, um, I went on and obviously achieved, you know, some pretty good stuff in the Taz playing for the First XV, which I was very proud of. Yep.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 11:52
And you evolved to actually playing for Australia. What did that feel like, playing, playing for Australia?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 12:00
Well, I think the end of the day, everything's about a journey, and on that journey, it's about understanding you know, um, for me is along the journey, as I say, you're going to be part of something. It's also your resilience, it's also your tenacity, it's also the ability to be part of a team. And I think that, you know, coming from a small community, having the understanding of what it's like to be part of a community really set me up for being all involved in sports. So with my mum's sort of driven passion and her desire and all that sort of stuff, Um, I really, I really took to it. And obviously coming down to Sydney, I got a teaching degree, but I played with a great club called Ringa, and I fought my way up to first grade and played first grade. And then 1989, I got selected to play for New South Wales against the British Lions at North Sydney Oval. And what I just realized at that moment is that when I turned around and looked behind me, all I felt was my little community on the island had given me this chance. And all I'd understood was the community of, of, of Bringa, but also looked after me as a family, my extended family. So all those attributes of community, family, and understanding where you come from, the legacy was just amazing. So when I went and played that game, I was on an international stage of— just couldn't believe it. Um, I had all my school kids on the sideline and yelling at me, and I had friends from the island stuff. I was more excited coming off the game with half my ear hanging off, and we just lost the game, to see all my friends from Lord Howe and that stuff, because I was just so proud, you know. But yes, and then obviously I went on and I played for Queensland. I left there and went and played for Queensland for 4 years, which then I again was— when it was in teaching, but it was also about, you know, as a part of a really good team, and I got to really put my footprint on on, on not only playing for Queensland but seeing the world and, and playing on stages where we won championships in front of, you know, 50,000 people, but, you know, 20 million people watching on TV and stuff like that. So suddenly the little island boy is— would have gone to there. And obviously the ultimate privilege was playing for Australia in Canada, where I had a photo of my mother in one pocket and I had a photo of the island in the other pocket when I played because what I wanted to do is respect where I'd come from. Mm-hmm.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 14:33
With the island community and your mother driving you on, propelling you.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 14:39
Exactly, exactly. And I think that people in this day and age, doesn't matter if it's the workplace or doesn't matter whether it's the, you know, sport or anything, you know, Yeah, you, you, you, it's about when you walk into anywhere it is, it's also really respectful of where you've come from and understand your legacies, right? Um, because, you know, if I go and look, for example, check somebody out on LinkedIn, I like to understand the community they serve. In other words, if they're looking at Rotary or the sports or stuff like that, looking at a title, say they're a CEO of a company's you know, that's what they are now. It's actually understanding where they come from is a better place then to say, well, this is how we can connect. And, uh, it's very valuable, very valuable life lesson.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 15:29
Yes. Moose, is there, um, I imagine there are lots of highlights in your rugby career. Could you share one or two really memorable moments that have really enriched your life? Playing rugby?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 15:43
Well, I think, well, playing for Australia was an absolute privilege. I think sometimes it's the, you know, when I actually played for Queensland, we played what they call the Super 10 final in South Africa, and we were playing, and it was like Super Rugby now, but we were playing the final. And for me, it was like I was against this guy who was 135 kilos. He was an enormous guy and stuff like that. And I had to make sure that the foundations up front where I played my position were there for the Timmy Horans and all the amazing team to do their stuff. So not only did I reach to that bar, but I actually went beyond that. I actually came out flying on top. And so for me, the sense of achievement of doing my job and being part of a team and adding further value, and we won the competition, was just the sheer pleasure of not only we celebrate in South Africa, but also the plane home. And then when we got home, the reception. Now you flip that over again. I'm an ex— I'm a schoolteacher, so I like giving back to the game. So one totally different experience is that I went and worked in the West Indies, and I went to an under-18s prison, and I coached a team there, and I also refereed their game. And in that team, there was 3 kids who'd basically murdered somebody. And they're in there for the wrong reasons. So what I did is enrich them because not only what the rugby gave them, but also understood that, you know, you know, being part of a team for them is a way for them to find, you know, what good can be in life and, and to make good choices. So yeah, there it is, my personal one being up on the big stage, but also having that experience there was just, you know, that was amazing to see. Here's these kids who are in terrible place, what I'd done in regards to bringing rugby to them, but also myself, was just as amazing.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 17:42
Yeah, I can imagine. And Moose, I imagine there were times when you may have felt fear or self-doubt. You were under the scrutiny of media constantly. Can you describe how you may have experienced and overcome some of those challenges? During those, those years?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 18:05
I think, I think it's, uh, you know, perceptions are one thing but reality is another. And I think what it is, it's about being consistent in life. And, um, I think what the life lesson there is that, you know, you know, I don't ask people to bring their scrapbook to a meeting because, you know, I'm only interested in where they're going. And so for me, I think it's very important to But when I, you know, we had challenge when there were challenges, like, you know, when I left Queensland to play for Natal, it wasn't, there was nothing vindictive about it, but things were said and we said, why are you going there? I said, for me, because I can. It was a huge life experience. They wanted me to go to South Africa. I thought it was just a huge adventure sort of stuff there, but also going there, fitting into a foreign country like that is is very, very challenging. And at the end of the day, it wasn't easy because you're a tall poppy and people are after you. So I think just at the end of the day, you know, there's a lot of people out there, there's jealousies, there's all sorts of people like who've got agendas and all sorts of stuff. But really that's their issue. I think what it is, if you just, if you can sail through and be consistent and true to yourself, then, then you've got nothing to worry about. Yeah.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 19:18
Yeah. So true. Moose, what were some of your greatest life challenges, both on and off the field?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 19:28
I think the biggest, the biggest thing that really hit home to me is that, you know, we've all got egos, we've all got pride, we've all got these things, but, you know, the difficult thing was the transition out of sport. It was, you know, here I'd won, I'd done all this stuff, and people had, you know, you'd had a reputation for doing X, Y, and Z and playing here. I went into coaching and obviously coaching was good because it was an extension of my teaching and I love the youth sort of thing. But at the end of the day, what I did is when I came back home and I moved across into the industry, you know, into careers, I never really nailed about what are my true value, my calling, right? What it is, it was, if you went out to people and said, well, who are you and what you do? Yeah, I found it now, but at the end of the day, you know, being a connector and being someone where I can help you get to, you know, through my vast and trusted network, can help people get to you where you want to. The difficult thing was finding a home for that. And I think what it is, is, you know, is that, um, yes, I can, I can, um, you know, introduce people to this and do this and facilitate this and that stuff, but I try and be strategic because of the because of my relationship to say how I can help them. But in regards to that is that people got to see that value and then they, and that's what I struggled with was how do I take those transitional skills from a life of sport and teaching and rugby and stuff, but also my amazing connectivity and turn it into a business. And that was probably, and in a way still has, it's about, you know, uh, people seeing that value and then obviously to monetize that., you know, to support future growth. So that's probably been the biggest challenge.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 21:15
So finding your identity, identity, um, post-rugby was—
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 21:19
Yes, very much so, very much so. And it's, and it's a lot of sports people do because the end of the day, you remember you're used to being put on a pedestal, you're used to having a doctor's there, you're used to having things done, you're used to having this sort of stuff. And when you do, when you come away from that world, well, there's no use to It's all about you. And I think professional sport for me is breeding a lot of people who are turning people, especially they're into robots. It's very, very prescriptive. And you can turn around and give people accreditation, but that's not life skills. Life skills is about how they engage and what they do and how they talk. You know, so I think more of that sort of stuff needs to be done in that space. But it's the same with veterans coming out of the wartime. I mean, at the end of the day, they have the same issues about identity and that transitional skills and what you can do with them. So yeah, that was probably one of the biggest challenges ever.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 22:22
Right. Moose, you've said that adversity reveals character. Can you think of any moments where adversity has revealed your true character?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 22:37
I think, okay, I simply— probably the most one that stands out is the adversity of not having parents, the adversity of not having a mother, and the adversity of, you know, understanding that, you know, I didn't have a lighthouse. And I think what it did is— so how did I react to that? Well, you know, I fell in love with my mother in a real true way after she died, because suddenly I'd realized that what she meant, what she was to me, was everything I needed. And suddenly, because I was embarrassed the physical way, why she was overweight and what she looked like, what she had inside her was, you know, you know, a lifetime of love and devotion and stuff like that. So my way, I suppose, of getting over that adversity of not having that is to find my strength and find my own way, which I had to create, you know, it's like one of the greatest things I got taught in life is, you know, don't go follow no path, go and create your own journey, you know, so, so for me, that's what I decided to do. And I think that's how I got over that adversity.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 23:44
And after all your achievements, after all your career achievements in mainland Australia and off the island, what, drew you back to Lord Howe Island?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 23:55
I always wanted to come home because the end of day, first of all, I had a house here, which is very difficult to do, but secondly, I'd found an amazing wife who's, you know, was, was just my, my rock. But more importantly is I had my little Cliffy, my boy. And one of the things I always wanted to do was my wife had, had a, you know, she got employed here in a, in a, in a change management role with the local what we counsel, which is the board over here. But to give Cliffy, my boy, the true essence of what I grew up with, and to understand that he could walk around here and the island could be his experience, he could meet people and grow socially and all that sort of stuff, I think, yeah, you wouldn't want anything better for your child than that, what he's going through. So, you know, I'm not living through him, I'm living beside him. I'm encouraging, I'm supporting him, and at the end of the day, he's like any any kid, he's got his, you know, they go through this and go stuff. But I think the end of the day, it's very easy to turn around and say, well, just look out in the backyard and appreciate what you're doing. And, and that's what's happening. So I think, yeah, look, it's just an absolute privilege being a parent. But more importantly is being a parent on Lord Howe Island where you haven't got too much to worry about. It's just, uh, you know, I couldn't speak volumes for it.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 25:11
Yeah, it does sound absolutely idyllic. Can you describe your life now, Bruce? What is life like on on the island, both personally and professionally?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 25:23
Well, I think at the end of the day, it's like today, I go and volunteer work at the school. I support the school. I'm part of the school council there and stuff. But, you know, I go and spend, and I look after a couple of the older kids there. They do sort of different type of work because we only have primary school. So I think going back there and being part of that and supporting the school, and I do a lot of community stuff. I'm on the local, you know, aquatic club. I'm in the sub-branch here. I'm also part of an advisory group to the infrastructure of the island and obviously on the school council. So I like all that sort of stuff, but I think what it is, is one of the challenges here is that, you know, how do you keep connected with the world. And working remotely has been really a real struggle because what it is, is that, you know, my value is when I sit in front of people. Zoom is, you know, it's a fantastic medium to do that. And certainly you can get a feel and a touch for it, but there's nothing like looking in the whites of someone's eyes and being very expressive and passionate in real time. And so, yeah, look, that is have been a challenge. But certainly, for my thing, is I'm finding ways and I'm finding different groups that I'm working with to enable that. And now I've got my amazing wife who's now starting off in her own career. She's doing the same now around her career navigator thing, looking at helping women pivot in their life or better themselves. So it's great.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 27:00
So it sounds like you're doing a lot of volunteer work for the community. What do you have a vision for Lord Howe Island's future?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 27:10
Oh, look, I certainly do. But, you know, there's, uh, you know, for me, I have a vision because I've got a 6-year-old who's going to live in it. Uh, so for me, it's about future-proofing it. I think the key thing over here is that, you know, you know, community is, community is key. Now, we've got a beautiful island where, you know, the World Heritage is listed, where the most solid coral reef in the world and all that sort of stuff. And it's just, it is a It's an amazing place, but that amazing place has got a community, and that community for me is all about what you do together, and if you don't agree, how you get through things, all that sort of stuff. So there's the physical part of the island which we want to preserve, but it's also the understanding of, for me, is that if people get on and we do things and we enjoy and we're all part of the sentiment of making it a better place, and that's key as well. I try and steer where I've got the school. I've got a program here with the school where we do a lot of events with the community. I'm part of steering that because I think the more times that the young people embrace the oldies on the isle, the older people, and obviously the community, I think it's really important both ways that they have that. So there's a wellbeing behind that as well. It's also healthy. So, you know, I just think that You know, people work hard, and when you work hard in an island, sometimes you can be isolated in your little silo and forget there's a community here. So just doing little bits here, I think that's very important for everyone to crystallize and understand that, you know, let's, uh, let's do things together. And every now and then to make it, make us all feel better, it'd be good.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 28:50
How, how easy or difficult is it to actually travel between mainland and Lord Howe? I imagine there are flights. And are there ferries as well?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 28:59
No, no. Lord Howe's 700— over 700 k's off the coast, so we don't— there's a ship that comes in the summer months every fortnight from Port Macquarie, and then the winter months every 3 weeks or so, thereabouts, as needed. Uh, we've got an airline, obviously, uh, Skytrans, which is now co-shared with QantasLink. They come out of Sydney. And obviously we've got Eastern Airlines who come from the East Coast, such as the Gold Coast, Port Macquarie, and Newcastle. From a sheer expense point of view, it's brutal. We get charged with very premium airfare to get off and on the island and stuff. So it's not something where you can turn around and say, well, I'm going to work, you know, 2 weeks away and 2 weeks back on the island each month. I think it's just that is the sheer expense. So from a connectivity point of view, yeah, look, we've got the same friends. I mean, I've got some amazing people come back every year and, you know, because my nickname is Moose, everybody knows me. And it's just good to reconnect with people. It's also, I teach my son, we go say hello to everyone we ride past in the morning. We get to know people just organically. And I think that's the beauty of the place.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 30:08
Moose, to young boys and girls, young people who might be struggling in a similar way to you, to your earlier years, what advice would you offer them?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 30:22
Well, I think the end of the day is, you know, when you live in your sort of your parents, when you come up with your parents, there's a sort of era of sort of who and what you are. And obviously learn from that time and stuff. And there's a reason why there's sort of disciplines and routines put in place. But sometimes it's about having, you know, the more experiences you have, then it's about finding self and what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And those experiences can be about the island, about what you experience in the island, but most of the time I think the experience is about with others. You know, it's about others. And one of the things I try and teach the kids here, or teach especially my kids, is about legacy. You know, understand where the islands come from. Because if you don't, if you haven't got any reason to respect the place, respect the past, right? And I want them to do that. And, but the other side of it is part of the working with the school. I've got a couple of friends here who've taken the kids out on boats because we've got coral bleaching, and coral bleaching is a major part of, you know, they need to understand, well, they're part of the solution because it's their future, not mine. So I think, you know, for me, it's just, uh, you know, I— it's, it's an amazing place. I've got a, you know, a great family and stuff, and I want I think young people these days need to say, well, here I am, but what else can I be? And if you don't give them those experiences to be that, then at the end of the day, they're going to be a safe ship in a harbor and they're going to be no good to anybody down the road. I think the world's about embracement. Technology, even here, is something they're aware of. It should be an enabler. That's it. Rather than actually somewhere where they just sort of live off. Because when you're looking down, you're not looking up, right? And looking up is you're embracing the world and the people around you.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 32:20
If you could sit down on the beach, going back in time, if you could sit down on the young beach with young Moose when he was a teenager, what advice would you say to young Moose?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 32:37
Well, I think at the end of the day, it's, it's how I've turned out. It's okay. Um, you know, there's, um, you know, I think there's an air of my grandfather who was a massively stubborn sort of person. Well, that's, that seems to be, you know, one of my things that I'm, you know, I am stubborn. And sometimes having an amazing wife to sort of curb that is a great thing. But I think what it is is that, you know, is making good choices. I think the end of the day, for me, when I was young, I didn't have a choice. The life I got handed wasn't my choice, you know. Now look at all the families out there and the people who do have choices because they've probably got two parents and people that can afford to do things. Whereas now, I'm not saying that's the reason I went off the rails. I think what it is is more about, um, when you're growing up and when you're young, you know, whether it's playing or being in life or whatever it is, you still have choices. And, you know, when you're young, you certainly need to be coaxed into saying, well, this is what you need to do. But sometimes as a part of that and saying, well, when do you consider what you're doing? And, you know, so therefore, yeah, I think it's about making better choices when I was, when I was young about some of those behaviors. But I think, you know, for me, how I've turned out, and that's just part of the fiber of who I am. And, and people, you know, go, wow, what an amazing journey of it, you know.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 34:03
Yeah. And we absolutely have the capacity to, capacity to make different choices and to, and to, to change rather than being stuck in a downward spiral. We do have, we do have the choice to change and make better choices, don't we?
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 34:19
Well, it is. And I think that's why you're around people that, you know, if people, you know, the telling point when you're around people these days is when, is when, when, when things, when the pressure comes on, it's about their instincts and their instincts that come out, you know, part of the fiber about how they brought up and stuff like that. But the instincts about what they've learned and experienced. If their instincts is to, you know, it's about me, not we. Then suddenly you've got someone, they're not going to help you. All they're going to do is about them. And that's, you know, their self-interest is not going to help anybody. And so I think that's what, that's the issue I find these days is the amount of self-interest in people, what, how they do and what they do in this world now. You know, yeah, I've got that as well. I've got ego. I've got all that sort of stuff. But I think at the end of the day, it's always been about we, not me.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 35:09
Yeah, that's very clear from your experience on the island as an island community member and also rugby team members, of rugby team, a member of rugby teams, you've been very much about we and not me.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 35:25
Yeah, yeah.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 35:27
Hey, is there anything else you would like to finish off with? Any other—
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 35:33
Well, I think at the end of the day is that, you know, yeah, I want people to, you know, I suppose when I— all the little sayings I have in life where, you know, a thing about keep your eye upon the donut, not upon the hole. The donut is reality. The donut is real. And I think we live in a world now where people are just so fixated on the hole about the wannabes and the things and technology and all this stuff. You know, passion is a great thing to have, but passion doesn't get you home. Passion is part of the parcel. And I've played many a rugby team that are full of passion, but once you knock the passion out of them, what's left. So I think about, you know, desire, all that, all that sort of stuff. So I'd like to see a world where, you know, I suppose what it is where, yeah, listening is probably an attribute where people should need to really understand. Whereas if people's instincts are, you know, is have that self-interest and also they can't get away from the past, they hang on to the past, well, you know, you're only going to live in their future and you want to live in that future if that's the way they are. So I think there's a lesson there in regards to, you know, it's a tough world we live in. Don't make it any tougher. Um, you know, be open and receptive to understand that, you know, um, people are all different, but to understand that this before you actually, you know, you, you blanket them with what you really think they are. And so, Yeah, that's where we can all have a better life.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 37:07
Yes.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 37:08
Yeah.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 37:09
I think that's a wonderful note to end on. Thank you very much for your time, Moose, and hope you enjoy the rest of your day in paradise.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 37:19
Yeah, certainly will, and appreciate it, and really thanks for your time.
Natalie Stockdale (Host) · 37:27
Thank you for listening to this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.
Adrian (Moose) Skeggs (Guest) · 37:32
Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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