Kintsugi Heroes
Wes Bending
Wes Bending lost his father, his brother to suicide, and custody of his son. He rebuilt by redirecting grief into spaces for other men.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Wes Bending lost his father to cancer, his brother Brad to suicide, and custody of his son after separation. A rugby injury in his twenties gave him six months to spend with his dying dad, time they used to find a 100-acre farm in Bunya on the NSW Mid North Coast. The day after his father passed, Wes and his mother settled the property. Years later, when his middle brother took his own life in 2012, Wes and his older brother Rob created the Crownback Classic, a four-day gathering on the farm where men could connect, grieve, and talk openly. What started as a memorial for Brad's friends grew into something larger: a safe place for men to be vulnerable with each other, complete with golf tournaments, surfing at dawn, live music, and genuine conversation. The event raised over $20,000 for Lifeline and showed Wes something crucial: the worst thing you can do to someone in need is tell them you can't help them.
When Wes's marriage ended, he faced the hardest part of his adult life. He lost access to his youngest son and had to rebuild himself alone on the farm, commuting from Sydney to work while grieving a relationship and missing his kids. He learned to find peace in small things: a bird landing in front of him, the grace of a plastic bag floating in the wind. Yoga and breathing practices became his anchor. His son is now sixteen, and Wes's long game is waiting for the day they can have a real conversation about what happened and why. At forty-six, he returned to playing rugby, rediscovering the male bonding and tribal feeling that sport gives him. His story is about turning grief into spaces where other men can find connection, and about learning that every day is a blessing.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses grief & loss, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au • GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au
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