Deborah Weed
The penny that rewired my life
A corporate director stripped bare by illness learns the difference between what you do and who you are.
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Kintsugi Studio
Deborah Weed
A corporate director stripped bare by illness learns the difference between what you do and who you are.
Hear this story
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Deborah Weed spent ten years as a corporate director at Citibank, climbing the ladder in high heels and shoulder pads, never smiling, performing a version of herself that wasn't real. As a sensitive child, she had learned that sensitivity meant weakness, so she chased prestigious jobs and big achievements to prove she was something else. It worked, on the surface. She had self-esteem. She had credentials. What she didn't have was self-worth. The difference, she discovered, is everything. Self-esteem is what you do and have to keep proving over and over. Self-worth is who you are without needing to prove anything at all.
Then, at the height of her career, Deborah became severely ill. For three years she was bedridden, in pain, hemorrhaging, and misdiagnosed repeatedly. Doctors said MS, then Lou Gehrig's, then that it was all in her head. Her family, unable to identify what was wrong, withdrew. She was utterly alone. But in those long, quiet hours in bed, she heard about a 1943 copper penny that could be worth a million dollars. The idea struck her like a key turning in a lock. If a penny most people wouldn't pick up off the ground could hold hidden value, what was she worth?
From that small insight grew everything that followed. She wrote a children's book called The Luckiest Penny, then created Paisley's Fashion Forest, a musical about a porcupine who gives away her quills one by one until she has only one left. Paisley represents all of us, piece by piece surrendering our power to perfectionism, to other people's judgment, to the need to please. Now Deborah works with Quills Up, teaching people to understand the difference between proving themselves and simply being themselves. The musical is ready. She's waiting for the right producer to say yes.
“Self-worth is who you say you are. If you've learned to love yourself no matter what, then you don't have anything to achieve.”
“I never smiled when I was at Citibank. I was putting on a show of who I thought I should be instead of who I really was.”
“If a penny could be worth a million dollars, then if I feel like that, what could I be worth?”
The hero, today
Self-worth is who you are without needing to prove anything or achieve anything. Self-esteem is what you do and requires you to keep proving yourself over and over. Being sensitive is not weakness, and spending years trying to prove you are not sensitive by chasing high-profile corporate work does not build genuine self-worth. When everything is taken away from you, you can finally see what actually matters, and sometimes a small thing like hearing about a penny's hidden value is the exact message you need to hear in that moment. What stops most people from trying again after disappointment is not lack of ability but a chemical reaction in the brain they are not conscious of, and understanding this helps you try anyway. The story of giving away your power piece by piece through perfectionism, fear of judgment, or the need to please others is universal, and naming it through metaphor and character helps people see themselves in it.
Yes. Deborah Weed is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Self-worth is who you are without needing to prove anything or achieve anything. Self-esteem is what you do and requires you to keep proving yourself over and over.
Being sensitive is not weakness, and spending years trying to prove you are not sensitive by chasing high-profile corporate work does not build genuine self-worth.
When everything is taken away from you, you can finally see what actually matters, and sometimes a small thing like hearing about a penny's hidden value is the exact message you need to hear in that moment.
What stops most people from trying again after disappointment is not lack of ability but a chemical reaction in the brain they are not conscious of, and understanding this helps you try anyway.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 00:03
Welcome to the Grit Diaries with Mon and Maz, a place where we share real stories meets real transformation. Each episode, we share the journeys of everyday people who's faced life's hardest moments and found their way to hope, healing, and purpose. May their courage inspire you and in the world around you. Let's get inspired. Oh my gosh, Mon, what a powerhouse that we just got to listen to, haven't we? We had the incredible Deborah Weed with us from the US. Yeah, amazing lady. She has created an organization called Quills Up. She's all about self-esteem, genuine, authentic sense of self. She's working towards— can you believe it— a Broadway musical level production called Paisley's Fashion Forest. And just by looking at her background that she had on our conversation, it was mesmerizing, it was magical. And she's got so much to offer to the community, and I loved our conversation together. Yeah, and what I love is she worked the corporate world for a long time and now has thrown herself into just making impact. She's written a book, and that's called The Luckiest Penny. Yeah, really worth listening to, this one. And I can't wait to see her show go to Broadway. We'll be front row. Hello everyone and welcome to yet another episode of The Grit Diaries with Mon and Maz. Hey Mon, g'day Maz, how are you? Ah, I'm rip-roaring ready to go today. And don't we have the most beautiful guest with us today? We've got Deborah Weed with us from the US. That's exciting, lovely to see you Deborah. Welcome.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 01:48
Thank you, it's lovely to see both of you.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 01:51
I just was taken instantly with your background and we're going to hear a little bit more about that later, But I'm loving it. Mom, would you like to just run us through about our wonderful Deb? Deborah, we are really keen to hear more about your world. You've had a really interesting corporate career and quite senior, I believe, in working with Citibank. And then you hit a real challenge health-wise where you were absolutely debilitated for 3 years. That's a long, long time. Certainly a great way to learn about who you are. And as you describe, understanding the difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Esteem. Really want to hear a little bit about that journey and tell us a little bit about what life was like stepping, you know, into your world of leading a very busy corporate life and then having to go into this challenge health-wise. You want to talk a bit about that with the audience?
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This conversation includes welcome to the grit diaries, the sensitive kid who learned to overcompensate, self-esteem versus self-worth, ten years wearing a mask at citibank, three years bedridden with no diagnosis and a 1943 penny rewires everything.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 02:43
Absolutely. Actually, let me start, you know, for anybody out there, as a kid, because so many of us, we create our identity or our personality when we're very, very young. And so for me, I was very sensitive, tremendously sensitive and more of an empath, probably like a lot of your listeners. But because when you are labeled or think you're sensitive, sometimes we equate sensitivity with weakness, don't you think?
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 03:12
Absolutely. Or emotional or fragile. Yeah, fragile.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 03:15
Exactly. So in order to overcompensate and get away from that label, I ended up going for very high-profile jobs. I worked as the director of development for Citibank. I worked on a $26 million pavilion with Disney and Universal Consultants. I did everything that I could to, like, wash away the sensitivity and create what I thought was self-esteem, right? But here's the thing about corporate, and there's probably a lot of people that are listening. I'm hoping that there's a lot of people listening that have been in corporate and might be able to identify with this. Corporate is very logical, right?
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 03:59
Yes.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 03:59
It's very brain-focused, correct?
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 04:02
Correct. That's right.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 04:03
Yet where does the heart come in and how does that mold us and change us? So for me, my experience was not an easy one because I needed to be shifted from corporate. But instead of me realizing, ooh, bad fit, You know, this is like, yes, I feel really good about what I'm doing. I thought that self-esteem was accomplished by doing these kind of big things, but I didn't know at the time what self-worth was. And self-worth is different. So before I tell you what happened, let me tell you what self-esteem is so we can kind of go back to it. I don't think people really understand it. They do, but they don't. Self-esteem is, is what you do. It's like, you know, I go to an event, I am the director of development for Citibank, I have great self-esteem, right? But I have to keep on doing things. Yeah, I have to keep on proving things to become worthy of that self-esteem.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 05:11
Out of curiosity, Deb, did you find that that helped with just, you know, it sounds like you were quite aware of what you were doing, you know, going from you can define yourself. Maybe it's in hindsight that you see that I'm not sure, but you've gone from, you know, being sort of quite a, as your words, sort of a sensitive empath and then going into the corporate space. Did you find though that it just, it gave you the confidence to like, oh, I can kind of play in both fields as opposed to self-esteem as such? I know from my experience when I've put myself in situations where I thought, oh my gosh, you know, I'm not going to be able to handle that situation, but just purely by being in it, it gave me the confidence and helped to shift my belief. And therefore able to handle more because I was actually giving myself evidence that I could actually do things that are outside what my core identity was. Did you find that in being in that corporate space?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 06:06
I think what you said is brilliant, and I think that you probably had a better understanding of who you were than I did. I was trying to— no, but it sounded a little bit different, but for me, I think I was trying to prove move, go against who I was. Yeah, very obviously. Yes. I mean, like, I love the creativity, I love the fact that I was able to lead things, I love, you know, all that stuff. But like, I never smiled when I was at Citibank. I wore the, you know, it was the time of the, you know, shoulder pads, you know, high heels. Yeah, that whole thing. And so I never smiled, never. I was putting on a show of who I thought I should be instead of who I really was. So for me, it was a different experience than what you're saying. Maybe I should say it differently. At the time, I thought I had it all, but life had a different plan for me and took me on a different journey.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 07:07
Part of the memory is that you didn't smile.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 07:11
Right. I didn't.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 07:12
So that sounds like, I've heard you talk about that before, that it's like an imprint memory. So it felt maybe a little bit misaligned with your actual excitement about doing what you were doing. And, you know, there wasn't that joy, and it was like feeling like you were trying to prove. That's interesting. And I don't know about you, Sim, I know when I've done coaching in the corporate space, your words are echoing quite a few people in that space. And so I think it speaks to really making sure that whatever you're doing out in the world, isn't it, that you are feeling aligned? What are the things that you love about your work? And you know, finding those things. And if it's really not aligned, are you starting to feel trapped?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 07:54
And that's the key. I mean, you so eloquently put, Mass, so eloquently, because that's where I think, you know, like if I would suggest to anybody, one of the things right off the bat is make sure that there's two kinds of communications. There's one brain to brain. There's one heart to heart. But when you try to do heart to brain, there's a lot of miscommunication. A lot of things go astray. And corporate is like, at least for me, I was heart-centered trying to play in the brain game and it made me unhappy, but it took a health challenge.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 08:34
How long were you in corporate career? How long did that go for?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 08:37
I would say at least 10 years. Yeah.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 08:39
A decade. Yeah. So tell us a bit about self-worth. You were saying there's a very big difference. Self-esteem is what you do and self-worth?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 08:48
Self-worth is who you say you are. So if you've learned to love yourself no matter what, then you don't have to achieve anything. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to pull out your credentials. You don't have to show your cards. You don't have to do anything but just be yourself. That is probably the most enviable place to be of all, to be able to have that kind of dynamic.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 09:14
That explains. I had a moment with one of my best mentors who hired me into Executive Search, who is still a dear friend of mine, and I used to say to her, I don't think I have much self-esteem. And she'd say, you've got stacks of self-esteem. I'd go, no, no, no. But really what I realized on reflection in that was I didn't have self-worth, and I had to go and crash and take my life into another whole journey before I could realize what self-worth was. I think There's a fantastic saying for those— I work a lot in rehab and there's an old saying, how do you build self-esteem? It's do esteemable things, right? So that's a constant kind of— it comes out of 12-step programs where people— how do you build self-esteem? Do esteemable things. And you'll find that esteem comes along. So it's really good what you've just said, Deborah. You've helped me to understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. And we're thrown a little bit— the pandemic helped us you know, sense of being able to stop and think a little bit about who are we, what are we. But not everyone gets that wonderful chance. Tell us about that challenge of the 3 years where you were bedridden and work us through that.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 10:21
Absolutely. So in my case, once again, it doesn't happen to everybody. I had a situation that was not diagnosed right away. In fact, it was falsely diagnosed. All I knew is that I was in severe pain. This is a little bit of a trigger warning, but I was hemorrhaging all the time as a woman. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was bedridden. I was so weak that I tried to put my head up and I couldn't get it up. And I went to doctor to doctor, as many of us would. But here's the thing, doctors all said something different. One said it was MS. The next one said it was Lou Gehrig's. The next one said it was all in my head. And I would literally tell my husband, please drive me to a hospital. I think I'm dying. And if I'm gonna die, at least I want to be in a hospital. The only other thing is that maybe other people might identify with, or maybe they're going through something, is that because I didn't have anything identifiable, my family, who's a good family, rather than being there, was not. So essentially, I felt very, very alone in that whole crisis scenario. And it took 3 years to come up with the right diagnosis. But during that time, I realized, you know, if I had a chance, if I had a second chance at life, then I would devote my time to this self-worth initiative, starting that, and really teach others because I need to learn it. I still need to learn it. You know, I'm still working on it. Maybe we do for the rest of our lives, you know, how to get self-worth, especially when you're being judged, you don't know what's wrong, you have nothing that you can prove, you have nothing that you can show and say, look at what I've done and who I am. And, you know, so then who are you?
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 12:06
So did you find Deb, in that 3 years, what was that time for you looking back? In the sense, obviously there was a lot of confusion, misdiagnosis, obviously physically pummeled, no energy, no real understanding of what was actually happening. When you look back, and given that your springboard about, you know, that was what you wanted— I mean, some people might be, if I get through this, I'm, you know, I'm gonna go and be a crusader for, I don't know, project in Africa, I don't know, you know. But for you, it was around self-esteem. Esteem. What was happening in that time to have been— that was the thing, if I get through this, it's my thing, is this self-esteem button.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 12:48
I think first of all what it was for me is I realized that so many other people, kids— I'm passionate about kids and their families, you know— are probably working on the self-esteem like I was. Maybe they're unhappy. And I had insight because everything was taken away. And because everything was taken away, it was actually a 1943 penny that helped save my life. And the reason why is because at the time I learned, I heard, you know, when you're in bed you have a lot of time to listen to stuff, that a 1943 pure copper penny could be worth a million dollars.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 13:25
Wow.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 13:26
And it's like, well, wait a minute, if a penny, a simple penny that— I don't know if you have pennies there, but you know, a penny that most people in America, and that they're, they're going out now, but you know, most people wouldn't even pick up on the ground— if that could be worth a $1 million, then if I feel like that, what could I be worth? And why do they say it's a lucky penny if it's only a penny? So I came up with a story and a musical for families and kids called The Luckiest Penny, and that was my, you know, I had a lot of time to do that, so that was kind of my foray back into life and back into possibilities.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 14:10
Amazing. I love— yeah, don't you love, Mon? You know, allowing life to hit you, allowing life to touch you, allowing these moments just— you know, someone else could have heard that and it meant nothing, but for you, it's kind of merged with you at a particular time in life that it was everything to shift gears. And I think, again, for our viewers, that when you do have those moments, don't brush them off. Let them be the thing that kind of synthesizes a bit of change for you and look at what that's kind of catapulted you into. Amazing. Yeah, really beautiful. And I think those moments— I just said to Maz, I had a moment this morning. It was— I get up and do meditations and journaling and reading my readings. And I read this reading about the fact that our self-worth is established very much between 6 and 18 months as a baby. And I was just sitting there and reflecting and feeling like when I was 6 to 18 months. I know that sounds weird, but I could feel my dad's love just absolutely pouring all over me, you know, like I could feel it. It was so beautiful. And I was like, I just said to Maz, you know, I'm going to check this out. My dad's passed, but my mum's still alive. I'm gonna see if she tell me what that period of my life was like. I'm not going to put words into her mouth, but hear what she says, because I feel my strength does come from that very early, early stage of my life. And I'm grateful that I at least had that. Didn't quite continue that way, but I had that early stuff, which has given me some sort of sense of self-worth. So yeah, anyway, it's just like you say, the penny, the moments, and you need the quiet time in life to be able to reflect that. And Maz has got beautiful stories too with finding Stones on beaches, etc. You know, like, it's just amazing, those little moments that actually are so powerful. Yeah, yeah. And I want to keep going with your story, Deb, but just a quick share. I mentioned to you that my mum sadly became unwell with terminal brain cancer, but in the lead-up to that, I knew big change was coming. I just didn't know what. And I happened to go for a walk along a local beach, and there on my walk was a silo rock just by itself. I picked it up. And anyway, the short version of that is when I ended up looking at the rock, on the rock were the words inscribed, my mother. Wow. Yeah, yeah, it was insane. And that has been the catalyst, like with your penny, how you let that seep in. How mon this morning, you know, just this unexpected feeling of the warmth and love of your dad as you reflected on a reading in and around your young years. It's allowing that to seep in. What does that mean? It could have just been like, wow, that's weird. And thought nothing else of it, but it has ended up being a catalyst to changing my business name. You know, it's become the central sort of part of my book. So I love that we've all got different experiences and I really hope that the viewers are maybe reflecting on, you know, maybe some things that have happened for them in their life that maybe they've dismissed and maybe it might be, or they've just experienced something. And so I think all three of us could agree it's worth leaning into what that might actually mean for them. Yeah, Deborah, tell us a bit about Paisley. Tell us about, you know, writing plays, where you're at with all of that. That's interesting and exciting. And yeah, I would love to hear about that creative side that's clearly come out since you've had this time to, you know, reset your life, I suppose. And tell us more about, yeah, the creative side of the plays that you've written. And got one that's going to Broadway, or is about to, or you're— yeah, you've got the potential for it to go to Broadway. Tell us about that.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 18:03
Absolutely. I had written a children's book and this was really, really important to me. I love metaphors, obviously, with the penny. And so I needed another metaphor of what does it— like so many of us, especially, well, women and men too, we give away our power, right? We give away our power until we've got nothing left. So I needed the best metaphor that I could possibly come up with. And for me, it was a porcupine by the name of Paisley who dreamed of being a fashion designer, but in the animal fashion world she had to give away her quills and use them as pins for a Cruella de Vil type character by the name of Zavanna. So I wanted something very visual where people could see that they were giving away a piece of themselves a little by little by little for all the reasons that we do, and I wanted to use the fashion Forest because the fashion industry, because of the fact that when it comes down to it, fashion is, you know, it's what we wear but it's not who we are. So I was able to examine and really have fun with the characters, the models, the top models, whether they be a tiger who has to wear very prissy, over-the-top couture gowns but wants to be a rock and roll star or an elephant who is told to slim down, become less, don't be so bold, don't do what she's doing. And yet she has the biggest heart of anybody out there. Or a bear who is clumsy, but she dreams of being a top model. But her real asset, her real beauty is her kindness. And Paisley gets in the midst of Zavanna, who only cares about how things look. She's a perfectionist and her Cruelty comes from perfectionism. So to be able to look at that whole thing, pull it together, write a children's book called Paisley's Last Quill. It was a 5-star, you know, the little girls loved it, and the moms were saying, but what about me? And it was like, ah, what about you? What about me? What about all the adults that are out there? Let's write a musical based on this and really inspire people the best way that I know how, through music and story. Wow.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 20:37
I've just had chills going, flooding my body as you're talking about that. What a unique way to present such an important idea and a way for us to kind of sort of see ourselves in each of those different characters. And so these are the characters I can see in your backdrop. Yes.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 20:57
So Zivana is the one that's dressed kind of in the, you know, dark. Paisley is the one that's, you know, vibrant. And then you see Ikru, who's the elephant, and Tiara, who's the tiger, and Batik, who's the bear. And this comes alive in a magical fashion forest where everything is alive and all of the outfits are made out of nature. So the spiders spin, you know, lace. The webs, and the birds are kind of like, uh, you know, the sewing machines with their beaks. So it's like a magical world, a backdrop for a very, very important story of— at least in the children's book, what happens with Paisley, she ends up giving away every quill except for one, and it's what she does with the last quill that makes the difference.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 21:51
Wow. I'm just so curious, going off on a slight tangent, where are you in the stages of having this musical up and running? Oh, I want to see it. Yeah, I want to get it going.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 22:02
So here's the realistic thing: to put on a Broadway musical takes $40 to $100 million, and I do not have $40 to $100 million, but I have what I think is a brilliant brand, a brilliant product. So what I've been doing really is concentrating on getting the best music, singers, the best script possible, put it all together so it's ready to go. That somebody can pick it up and say, oh my gosh, this is like amazing. Initially what I had started was the Quills Up movement with women so that they could take back their power. And I was moving in that direction. But I do realize at this point, you know, I have put so much work, love, and dedication into it. I've proven over and over that this is worthy. It's not just a concept. It's already proven in that the book was a success. It was 5 stars. People loved it. So I just need that one person to hear it, see the possibility, and just say, I'm your producer. I'm the one. Let's take this all the way.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 23:16
Yeah, that's where— yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I just love the fact you've intertwined, you know, fashion with animals. Like, it taps into so many different fears of personal interest. It's really beautiful, Deborah. And I'm just smiling because your right brain must be alive big time, which is supposedly our creative side. And yet for so long, like you said, your corporate world, you were sitting in that left brain and numbers and analytics. And so you must have an enormous healthy brain. That's what I would say, to have the capability of both sides in what you do. But yeah, it looks beautiful. If I can think of any connections, I certainly will shout out to you and shout out to listeners if anyone knows of someone, because it really does sound like a beautiful musical that would be just so enjoyed by, you know, young and old audiences.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 24:07
Yeah, and even though I'm shooting for Broadway, sometimes it's coming up with the right group of people who can, you know, put it on or take it to the next level. I mean, look at Rent. Rent, you know, I mean, in America, Rent was huge.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 24:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 24:24
You know, it started as a small thing, but all the people, you know, are still like out there making a difference, and they stayed out there for— and made millions and millions and millions of dollars.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 24:36
Deborah, have you reached out to the founders of Rent?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 24:39
I probably should.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 24:40
Oh, I would definitely go for it because they would mentor you. You know, you could reach out to them and just say, I've built this musical, and that's what I would be doing straight away. Can you share with me any insights of how I could get it taken further?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 24:54
That's a great idea, thank you.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 24:56
Yeah, I would definitely look at that and other musicals similar, like Rent, that has taken, you know, the world by storm, and see if you can get hold of the founders, the designers, the creatives. Everyone loves to help each other in this world with, you know, if you ask ask, they release happy hormones. When you ask them to help you, it'll make them feel good too. 100%. That law of reciprocity. Yeah, amazing. So as we're kind of coming— as sort of wrapping up, Deborah, what would you like to share with the beautiful viewers, the audience, that you're going through everything that you've been through? What would be one of your nuggets of wisdom that has maybe been really helpful to you on your journey? Maybe a strategy or just what is it that's has been really valuable to you?
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 25:43
I love to share my dad's wisdom. You know, just like you with your mom. I love to share my dad's wisdom because I think he's got some jewels. I wanna talk about what do you think the one thing that stops people every time is?
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 25:55
I think it's procrastination based on boiling resentments and anger that people aren't working through. Lack of self-belief.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 26:03
So here's what my dad told me. You know, obviously there's no wrong answer.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 26:07
We're both on the bond.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 26:08
But here's what my dad said that I was like, whoa, ding, ding, ding for me at least. He said it was disappointment. And I'm going to tell you why. He said, let's say that you have something that you want to do and you get out there and you start to do it and you're really excited and then it doesn't work. And then you get disappointed. Well, it's brain chemicals and you don't realize it, but you got really like the endorphins were going, all the good chemicals were going. And then when you got disappointed, things fell. Now you're not conscious of it, but that lack of chemicals really affects you, right? But then you try again. Let's say you try again. You're like, I can do this, I know I can. And you get back on the horse and you start to do it again and you rise and it doesn't work. And once again, the chemicals go out of you. And so it's not conscious, but the fall feels so bad. Bad, so bad that most people, he told me, never try again. They flatline, not because they can't, but because they don't want it. You know, we call it failure. It's not failure. It's a chemical reaction that we're not conscious of that stops us from pursuing our dreams. And I'm like, well, okay, that's like scary. How do you get around that? And he said, the only way to get around that is to, and that's why the fake it till you make it is so true. If you can understand that it's just chemicals, then you can try again.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 27:45
I love that. Yeah, I like the old fail is first attempt in learning, but it is hard. I mean, I had my own company for 27 years and had to feed a lot of staff and always have, you know, racing to find jobs and assignments and it was is, you know, always a challenge emotionally. And you do need those people that will lift you, you know. You do. I did anyway. I needed mentors that would really lift me when you did get knocked back and you did get told no. And you do need those empowering mentors around you to dust you off and make you laugh a bit and keep you going. I believe it's very hard on your own without that. And I love that Deb, when you talk about, you know, because you're right, you know, it is just chemicals. And so many people do then believe it wasn't for me, it's not meant for me, and not realizing that, you know, as I'm sure we're all aware, failure is really more feedback. So how do I do it differently the next time? And so like what you said, Mon, for you it's been mentors to help you deal with those chemicals. And for me, it's endlessly listening to podcasts about motivation and about doing exactly that. What did you learn? And getting back on the horse, so to speak. And for me, it's always the things, you know, you have an idea, a dream, a desire to do something, and you go for it like you say, Deb, and you're going gung-ho and some— it just isn't happening. And then you drop the ball, life gets in the way, you know, all the other demands come, and you kind of just flatline a little bit. You let go of that thing. For me, it's the thing that keeps simmering back up to the surface. It's almost like the cork that gets pulled under, that desire to do whatever it is, and then all of a sudden it gets life again. It gets like going, starts bubbling back up to the surface, and it's bouncing around on the top of the ocean again. To me, those are the things when it keeps bubbling back up and it's like, it's just like, oh, it just keeps at me, whatever it is. That to me then is my— I'm meant to do that, and I've got to honor that little cork because it's meant to be swimming out on top of the ocean.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 29:56
Love that. Yes. Yes. And it's not easy. It's not— it's easy to say. It was a great description for my dad. But when you've got the chemicals or something happens in your life, you know, it's very understandable. But it's something to keep in mind.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 30:12
Yeah. Oh, Deborah, thank you so much for sharing all your beautiful journey and your wisdoms and You know, sharing your dad's wisdom. I love that. Mon, you and I, we're going to have front row seat. We're going over to the US when this musical is, and we are going to be cheering you on. We're going to have tears coming out our eyes. We can't wait for this to be actualized in whatever shape or form it comes in. I've just been watching you in amongst these beautiful characters, and it just feels like you are all part of it. It's amazing.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 30:43
Thank you so much.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 30:45
I can think of someone to refer you to as well that might be able to refer you on to people. So I'll share you that and I'll an old school friend that is big in kind of the Hollywood world, but she might be able to help you, Deborah. And I would be creating a letter to the founders of RENT and sending it off straight away. You never know. I'm sure they'd love to help another fellow creative.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 31:07
Ah, thank you so much. I appreciate it. And you are both such bright lights and getting to know you a little bit beforehand, what you're up to, your mission, what you're trying to achieve is just absolutely brilliant.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 31:19
Thank you for the feedback. That's beautiful. Yeah. Aren't we fortunate to see— meet all these beautiful human beings around the world and over in the US in the Florida area? And yeah, hopefully we can cross paths when I'm there next month.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 31:32
Sounds wonderful.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 31:34
Yeah. Well, thank you once again, Mon and Deb, for being our beautiful guests on The Grit Diaries, and we hope that you have all gained some incredible wisdom, some motivation, and sparked new ideas. And I hope that if you come across cross. Something that touches you, let it sit with you, let it touch you, let it mean something. And I think we've all shared our experiences with that today, and so we hope that you take some inspiration from that. Anything else to add, Mon? No, it's been a delight to meet you, Deborah, and hope to stay in touch a little bit. And if you ever come to Sydney, Down Under, you're very welcome to visit us on the sunny Northern Beaches. We'd love to show you around and welcome you with open arms.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 32:17
Sounds wonderful. I'm up for it.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 32:20
Well, I think that's Mon when she's doing her tour because, you know, Paisley the musical has just gone global. Great.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 32:28
Exactly. Exactly.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 32:30
I mean, you know, she might really, you know, she might be at the Four Seasons, you know, and she's— we might have to drop in and see you. Double bay, double pay.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 32:41
Yeah.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 32:42
Uh, well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Mon, and and, uh, next episode on The Grit Diaries. Take care, everyone. Bye. Thank you for joining us on The Grit Diaries, From Grit to Grace. If today's story has moved you, share it with someone who needs a little hope. Remember, from grit we can find grace, and from grace we can find inspiration.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 33:12
Mm-hmm.
Mon & Mazz (Host) · 33:13
Until next time, look for the joy, keep safe, stay grounded, and never forget that there is a strength within your own story.
Deborah Weed (Guest) · 33:23
Take care.
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