From There To Here
Deborah Ko · 82 min
A cultural psychologist who spent her life feeling 'not Chinese enough' and 'not American enough' reveals how embracing multiple, sometimes contradictory selves is not a weakness — it is a superpower.
Support services
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Deborah Ko grew up in Silicon Valley caught between two worlds: an American mother and a Hong Kong father. She never quite fit. People told her she wasn't Chinese enough, wasn't American enough. It wasn't until she discovered cultural psychology as a university student that everything clicked. The framework gave her language for what she'd felt her whole life but couldn't name. When she later moved to Hong Kong for her postdoc, a bigger realisation hit: being Chinese enough was the wrong question entirely. American Chinese turned out to be its own distinct culture. What she'd seen as a failure to belong was actually a culture unto itself.
Deborah is a cultural psychologist who has spent her career studying how culture shapes the way we think, lead, and show up at work. She explains why what counts as good leadership, authenticity, or even extroversion is not universal. A calm, observant leader reads as extroverted in one culture and shy in another. Self-promotion that's expected in America reads as arrogant in Australia. Frame switching, changing how you show up depending on context, is not dishonest. It is how you translate yourself so people can actually hear you. She also explores what it means to hold multiple, sometimes contradictory selves at once, why brutal honesty from close family members in Asian culture is a sign of intimacy, and what happens to our authentic voice when we outsource our communication to AI.
For anyone navigating multiple cultures, or simply curious about why people do things differently, Deborah's work offers both relief and clarity. Being caught between worlds is not a curse. It is a skill, and a strength.
Every story here belongs to the person who lived it. They said yes to sharing it, and we sat with it carefully before it went up. Nothing here is exaggerated and nothing is used without permission. Read how we handle these stories ↗
Kintsugi Heroes · Registered Australian not-for-profit · kintsugiheroes.com.au ↗