Cheryl Harris
27 Years of Gold: Cheryl Harris on Caring for Ken and Finding Yourself Again
Cheryl spent 27 years caring for her husband Ken. Two years after his death, she's still figuring out who she is.
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Kintsugi Studio
Cheryl Harris
Cheryl spent 27 years caring for her husband Ken. Two years after his death, she's still figuring out who she is.
Hear this story
Cheryl Harris spent 27 years as an unpaid carer for her husband Ken after he was diagnosed with kidney disease in 1995. She was in her early 40s when his diagnosis arrived, and overnight their shared future changed shape. What followed were decades of hospital visits, dialysis machines, strict diet and fluid restrictions, and the emotional weight of watching someone she loved struggle with depression and frustration. Through it all, Cheryl worked in the community sector across aged care, disability, and homelessness services on the Sunshine Coast, holding onto a part of herself that was separate from the caring role.
Two years after Ken's death, Cheryl is still asking herself who she is. The 27-year role that defined her daily life has ended, and the grieving extends beyond his death to the loss of the identity she held for so long. She has done deep personal development work to find her footing, but the soul-searching is not finished. What keeps her moving forward is the same thing that sustained her during those decades of caring: work that connects her to others and gives her purpose.
Cheryl's story speaks directly to the hidden carers in our communities, people who never apply for a carer's allowance because they do not see themselves as carers, or who carry the weight alone because they do not know support exists. She talks plainly about the financial strain, the emotional toll on both partners, the way depression and anger land hardest on the person closest to you, and the absolute necessity of finding something outside caring that belongs only to you. Her message to others on the same path is simple: reach out, do not carry this alone, and find something that gives you pleasure.
“You're no longer a partner or a wife. You've become this individual who's caring.”
“Because you are the closest person to them, you cop it all the time.”
“A lot of people do not see themselves as a carer, and yet there's so many that are out there that don't realise what they're doing.”
The hero, today
The dreams and aspirations a couple had together change fundamentally when one partner receives a diagnosis of chronic illness, and the carer cannot know at the start how much their own life will alter. When the person you're caring for is depressed or frustrated by their illness, they direct that anger at the person closest to them, and it is not their fault, but it lands on you anyway. Having work or a role outside caring kept Cheryl connected to her own identity and gave her something that was hers, not tied to managing someone else's illness. After 27 years as a carer, Cheryl had to ask herself who she was at all, and that soul-searching did not finish when Ken died; two years later she was still learning the answer. There are carers everywhere who are never named as carers, never access support, and have no idea that services and allowances exist because there is nowhere central to find that information. The carer's allowance exists and carers should apply for it, but stigma and misunderstanding stop many people from even trying, and financial strain makes every little bit matter.
Yes. Cheryl Harris is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
The dreams and aspirations a couple had together change fundamentally when one partner receives a diagnosis of chronic illness, and the carer cannot know at the start how much their own life will alter.
When the person you're caring for is depressed or frustrated by their illness, they direct that anger at the person closest to them, and it is not their fault, but it lands on you anyway.
Having work or a role outside caring kept Cheryl connected to her own identity and gave her something that was hers, not tied to managing someone else's illness.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 00:00
This limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the Boopa Foundation Australia through their Community Grants Program. If you'd like to find out more about Kintsugi Heroes, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au. Welcome to our Kintsugi Heroes special series, Australian Carers, where we shine a light on the stories of the important Australians who provide voluntary care for someone in need. In this episode, Kerry Atherton had a chat with Cheryl Harris, a devoted carer and community advocate who shares her journey of caring for her late husband Ken and her ongoing mission to support other carers in our community. Now let's get to the conversation.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 00:56
Welcome to another episode of Kinsugi Heroes. I'm Kerry Atherton, and today's My next guest is Cheryl Harris. Cheryl was in the role of a carer for her husband Ken before he passed away 2 years ago. Welcome, Cheryl.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 01:12
Thank you, Kerry. Thank you for inviting me.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 01:16
So Cheryl, today we're talking about your role of caring for your husband as an unpaid carer.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 01:24
Yes. There are many people out in the community who are carers, obviously. And I think when you have someone who has a chronic illness or, or anything like that, um, it's a wonderful opportunity, but at the same time it can be a very stressful role.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 01:43
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After 27 years as a carer, Cheryl had to ask herself who she was at all, and that soul-searching did not finish when Ken died; two years later she was still learning the answer.
This conversation includes before ken got sick, the diagnosis nobody expects, learning what kidney disease actually means, the machine comes home, carrying his depression and frustration and writing it down so others don't have to wonder.
And Cheryl, I know you from personal experience, and you are someone who has done an amazing amount of work out in the community. Can you just tell us a little bit about what you were doing in your roles over the years, uh, because I know that this has given you a very broad experience of the human experience of, of caring for people that are suffering. And can you just share a little bit about your life before your husband became sick?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 02:12
Certainly. Um, before Ken became sick, I, my very first role was actually working in one of the hospitals on the Sunshine Coast on the administration side where I used to admit and discharge patients. And then after a few years, I decided I would go and qualify to enable me to work within the community sector, which I did. And then I had wonderful experience over the years of working across a range of service providers, which then enabled me to network quite extensively across the coast in a range of independent living seniors, kidney health, volunteering, you know, disability sector, homelessness. As you would know, Kerry, I think on the Sunshine Coast there are so many services that do the most amazing work and sometimes with very little funding. And unfortunately, We are finding more and more that all these areas now are struggling with the amount of people that were, that are having issues, whether it's mental illness, suicide, whatever, because the coast just expanded so much over the years. But it has enabled me to really have a wonderful knowledge across all areas, which I'm so grateful for.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 03:43
I know you are such a stalwart of our community and somebody who is greatly admired.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 03:51
Very kind of you to say.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 03:53
Well, it's so true. Cheryl, can you just give us a little bit about your story, uh, of when Ken was first diagnosed with his illness, how that changed your world?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 04:06
Ken was first diagnosed in 1995. And he was diagnosed with something called glomerulonephritis, which was kidney disease. And kidney disease covers a huge range of different diagnoses. However, at that time, obviously it was a huge shock. And I think for anyone out there who is told they have a chronic illness, You actually can't believe it and your whole world turns upside down and you really have no idea, to be totally honest, you have no idea the impact it's going to have on your lives, uh, from a future aspect.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 04:53
How old were you and how old was Ken when he was diagnosed?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 04:58
Gosh, taxing my brain now. I'm in my 70s now. So, oh, would I have been probably early 40s or something around there. I, I do recall at the time when, when he received his diagnosis, we actually had quite a few questions we wanted to ask. I think more so from my perspective, knowing that, you know, how was, how was I going to cope? Never mind how he was going to cope, but how was I going to cope? Because I knew our lives were going to be really changed quite dramatically because all the dreams and aspirations you would've had as a, as a couple are now going to alter quite dramatically. And so when we were asking some of the questions at the time, the nephrologist who was on the coast, who retired many years ago, he basically said, 'Yeah, take this book and go and read it.' He didn't appear to have as much time to really answer the questions, which we both found quite distressing at the time. However, we did go, and, and I really made it, um, one of my things, more so probably than Ken. Ken was in denial probably for many, many years around the disease, whereas I wanted to understand a little bit more as to the greatest impact it's gonna have on us. Over that period of time, because he had 20% function of the kidney when he was first diagnosed, which then meant down the track, and no one can tell you, oh, it's gonna take you 5 years or 3 years, whatever, because obviously every individual is so different. So you'll never have two people going through the same, you know, same things. And so we knew that ultimately he would have to have dialysis. At the time there, and there still are, two types of dialysis that you require. And so even though he was treated with certain medications, because when you suffer from kidney disease, one of the most important things is to control your blood pressure, 'cause your blood pressure can be very high. And then the other problem is that because your kidneys are not functioning like the average person who, they definitely work 24/7. Now suddenly you find you start retaining things like fluid and you really have to particularly once you go on to dialysis. And Ken eventually went on to something called hemodialysis, which meant they had to join the main artery and one of the veins to enable them to have what is called a fistula. And that then is where they inject into the arm, and you, you'll have blood taken out on one area, and that cleans all the waste, the toxins in your body, and then brings it back through the other area. But what actually happens is because you're now doing that, and because it's not really giving you the same clearance levels as your normal kidneys, you find that you're allowed less and less to actually drink. So you can imagine in our summers when they're so hot, if you were only outputting a certain amount of fluid, then that's all that you can have in your intake again. Wow. So, you know, that impacts from a perspective of you start having to really look at your diet and what you're having. So things like gravy or watermelon, because that's more fluid, you've got to restrict that. Yeah. So it's a huge, huge a huge change to your lifestyle. And you can't just get in your car and decide you're going to go away for 3 weeks on a holiday because now you're committed to attending the hospital 3 times a week, as it was in those days. It's now every second day.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 09:17
Wow. And as you're talking, I'm even just thinking about the preparation of food and, and, and just thinking about the diet and the effort that has to go into trying to modify a diet like that. Is that that in itself is time-consuming, let alone everything else that you had to endure and take into consideration. Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 09:38
And, and look, we, we are exceptionally lucky in this country because after about 4 years of attending Nambour Hospital, as it was where he was going at that time, we were given the opportunity of having a hemodialysis machine at home. Wow. Which has a, you know, has a huge impact on the patient because, as you can imagine, traveling to a hospital 3 times a week, it's your travel time, and then you sit on a machine for 3 to 4 hours, and then you've got to wait until your needles have come out and everything's okay, and then you can get in your car. So you could be 6 hours some days, and if you had difficulty with transport, which some of the patients had in those days, they would've had to wait for an ambulance to take them home. So it was huge. And when it came to your meals, if you had any other issues, 'cause Ken eventually had, or he had before he even started dialysis, it was the night before, he ended up having to have a triple bypass. Which again then impacted the diet because we said we had a dietitian from the heart side saying, you can't eat this, you must be careful of that. And then on the renal side you had the same. And sometimes it would almost contradict what one was, you know, one side to the other. And we almost became paranoid about what should he be eating and what shouldn't he be eating or drinking. Until such time as we both thought, this is ridiculous. What we really need to do is to ensure that we're just being very sensible with what we do and eat in moderation on certain things. And Ken always used to in those days have a pocket full of lollies so that when he got thirsty, he would eat, you know, suck on a lolly and hope that this that would suffice for a while. It really does impact quite dramatically. But as I said, we were so fortunate because we then got a machine at home, which then meant that he could dialyse every second day at home and everything was provided. So we are so blessed in this country that we have that facility.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 12:06
We are, Cheryl. Cheryl, what I was Wondering too was that it's, it's a known fact that people that are struggling with diseases and terminal illnesses, it really, it just doesn't affect them physically, but it really impacts on their mental health and their moods. And that has to have a flow-on effect for the person that's caring. So how did you manage that emotional battle that was going on?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 12:36
It was a very difficult time trying to manage that as I was also trying to work whilst caring for Ken. And a lot of it is their frustration, their frustration that they can't do all the things that they used to be doing. And because you are the closest person to them, you cop it all the time. And whilst they don't mean to, they get very, you know, a lot of them get very depressed. And I know Ken certainly used to get quite depressed. And if I ever said to him I felt he would need to have a chat with the doctor, he didn't think it was necessary. Um, and I was very fortunate. I, I have a wonderful GP and often I would have to pop in and see him and say, you know, what do I do? I'm tearing my hair out. I feel like there are times when even though you're bending over backwards to help that person, it's almost like they can't see it.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 13:42
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 13:43
Because I think they, you know, they're focusing on their illness and themselves, and sometimes it's not meant to, but it comes across as, you know, they're not appreciating what you're doing. So it can be a very difficult thing, and you really need to find things that are going to give you pleasure and, um, have a couple of really good friends that you can open up to or go and have a coffee with, have a good cry with, and then you'd be fine. And often I would do that. I would think, I can't do this anymore, and then I'd kick myself in the backside and I'd be fine for and for the next 6 months. But it is a very difficult situation because, as I've said earlier, all the dreams and aspirations you had have now suddenly changed. And it's almost like your role— you're no longer a partner or a wife. You, you've become this individual who's caring. So it's almost like you're caring for your children if you have children. And to be honest with you, Kerry, I can recall writing a little resource book many years ago, probably about 2004, about our journey on kidney disease and trying to be totally open and honest. So even things like, you know, how would our sex life be? How would we manage financially? You know, what did the future hold for us? How long would we be on this journey? You know, is it something that's going to be for years and years and years, or is it a journey that's going to come to an end somewhere along the line? And then it throws you into, well, how will I cope afterward?
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 15:28
Right.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 15:29
And, and so you definitely go through a lot of emotions, um, from both sides. I'm sure Ken, sometimes we would talk about things, and he would open up. And I know he, he used to feel quite useless at times because he wasn't capable of doing all the things that he had done previously. And so the, the main thing is to try and hang in there, but at the same time, certainly find things that interest you, that you have an outside interest over and above caring for that person. To maintain your mental health.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 16:08
That's great words of wisdom there, Cheryl. And, and that's what I was going— the next question actually I was going to ask you, which you've kind of covered, but I know it's very easy for people that are in caring roles, and especially unpaid caring roles, to lose their identity, and their identity becomes wrapped up in being the carer. Can you talk to us about that fine line of being able to be out there and still do the role, the amazing role that you did in the community while you're also being a carer? And, and how can people prevent being a carer from becoming their identity for that time?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 16:48
It is exceptionally hard to not lose your identity whilst you're doing this. I, I will agree. I think the fact that I really loved what I did within the community sector, helped me tremendously, even though there, there were times, and I know even since Ken passed away, because my role as a carer had been for 27 years.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 17:13
Wow.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 17:14
I really questioned who I was at the end of that and what was my next step going to be. I certainly didn't want to fall into a heap and, um, and not know where I was going. And it's probably, it has been 2 years of soul searching about, um, who am I really? What is it I really want to still achieve in my life? So I know I, I, I've done a little bit of personal development over the last 2 years. I still volunteer a lot within the community sector because that's my love. I love being able to connect people to services because I think it's a minefield out there, and it's really hard to know what's out there for you. Not only for the person who's been ill, but for you yourself. And trying to talk to someone, even if it is a friend, to say, I, I feel like I don't have my own identity anymore. And then you'll often find when you're sitting talking about it, someone will say, but you've done such and such. And then you think, oh, okay. Yeah. Well, maybe, maybe that's true. Maybe that has helped. Um, or maybe that's now something I can focus on, which will give me back my identity. Because one of the things I did feel when one was caring was Nobody can understand the journey that you're on, and that includes even your own family. Whilst people can have some empathy about your journey, they're not actually walking that road themselves. Therefore, they don't understand it. They don't understand that your role is 24/7. It's not like you can switch a tap off and think, okay, that's fine, I don't have to worry about that. Because there are continual rounds of appointments, medical appointments or tests that you have to have done over the years. So I think try and reassess where you are once the person has gone, because you do probably do some grieving whilst that person is around. Purely because, as I said, you, you're grieving the fact that your partner is not the same person anymore. But that doesn't mean that you now need to become a vegetable.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 19:51
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 19:51
Because you can still offer so much out there, even if it is your great craft and you might be the most wonderful sewer, you could perhaps teach somebody else how to do it.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 20:05
That's, that's great. So what I'm hearing you really say is that it's so important important to keep connected and also to have a purpose. And if you don't have a purpose outside caring, to find a purpose, no matter how small it is.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 20:21
Absolutely. Very important. Yes.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 20:25
So Cheryl, you said that one of the questions that you were asking yourself in your soul searching over the last couple of years is, um, what's next for me? So have you been able to gain any clarity on that through that time?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 20:42
Look, I think whilst I am still very involved within the community sector and I love the volunteering that I do, I do probably still question myself at times as to, do I really know who I am yet? I'd like to think I do. But, um, there are still doubts at times. Yes. And I think that you really have to dig deep to, you know, I do feel fulfilled in what I'm doing and I think that probably does help. Yeah. Because that fulfillment gives you the joy and, um, it gives you a purpose to get up in the mornings. So I'm exceptionally grateful for my life, and I have always felt, no matter, you know, I, I've made the most amazing connections in my life that I've lived here, and, um, I'm very blessed. I really am. And I'm so grateful for that.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 21:48
And the truth is, I guess, that you, you're not the same person now as you were on that journey of caring for Ken. You can't be.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 21:59
No, definitely not. I think, um, I learned a lot. A lot. I learned a lot because you have to become resilient. You have to— you learn a lot from a medical perspective on the journey. Is you, you know, and I can recall saying that to the to the specialist that it's not just the one person on the journey. It's the whole family. It's the partner. It's the children, if you have. And so I think it's important to really look at everything from a holistic perspective and then try and decide what's going to be the best way to go forward.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 22:47
Yeah, I, I love that holistic perspective because it really—
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 22:52
yes, it's a whole package. It's not like it's just one area, it's every aspect of one's life and all the relationships you have in life, you know. I think, um, yeah, and the specialists, the medical staff, everything. Yeah.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 23:11
Cheryl, what community groups are you aware of that are out there for people who are in carer's roles, whether it be caring for somebody who has a terminal illness at home or someone who's caring for a child with a disability, someone who's caring for someone with an addiction, someone who's caring for someone with a mental illness.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 23:34
We are fortunate that there are, uh, organisations like Carer Gateway and Carers Queensland for carers. And they both provide amazing resources and help. Mental health, there's a variety of organisations across the coast that can help within mental health areas. And in fact, I was only reading yesterday that, um, Kera Gateway now are— they have an office on the Sunshine Coast in Wyssers Road. Oh, wow. For people with mental health issues. What it actually involves, I'm not sure yet.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 24:16
Okay.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 24:16
However, they don't need a referral to go there. In relation to disability sector, I mean, we have wonderful organisations like STEPS that deal with people with disabilities.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 24:29
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 24:30
And when it comes to cancer, we've got places like Bloom Hills which do an amazing job. And there are the other services around as well. You know, I think one of my passions at the moment and has been for a long time is that we actually lack one central point where people can access information. And I know it's a project I've been working on and quite passionate about for a while now. I have been working— one of my volunteer roles is with the Healthy Ageing Partnership, But over the last couple of months, I've been dealing with the University of Sunshine Coast, and I, I won't mention names, but we are currently working on a project that I'm certainly hoping one will start hearing a lot more about in the next year or so. And hopefully that will alleviate some of the issues that are out there.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 25:29
Or carers specifically, or—
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 25:31
Not just carers. It would be, you know, probably a pilot would be starting with the seniors area because obviously that's an area that is growing. However, it would ultimately be one that would be open to all services so people can access information a lot easier because that knowledge is power. And yeah, um, if you can empower somebody to, to have that knowledge and not feel that they're afraid or they have no idea of where to go or what to do or how to find a service, I think then we've done a fantastic job and, um, it makes life for them a little bit easier.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 26:17
Well, that's such an important point that you brought up there, and I can only think of people who have migrated to our country as well and can't speak English very well. How difficult it must be for those people to try and get support and how helpless they must feel and how alone they must feel in the process.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 26:38
It is a huge, a huge area. I mean, even things like, um, people being socially isolated and that affects, you know, across from all the, the, the different cultures, and it affects even our own Australians. And, um, you know, even amongst young people these days, there's so much social isolation. You sort of wonder if social media has had a huge impact, um, not always the best impact in the world. There's a lot of good in social media, But you know, you start reading all this stuff about, um, artificial intelligence and everything else.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 27:21
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 27:21
I do think everything used the correct way is phenomenal. It's what happens when you have people using it the wrong way that can create issues. And so I think as a community, it's not just up to our politicians or the government. I think we as a community, if we want change, we also need to make that change happen, working collaboratively in all areas, um, across the board, because I think that way we would be able to, uh, come to a lot more decision-making around what is best for people, because they also need to be involved.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 28:07
Yes, 100%. I think there's a lot of people out there, uh, I don't know if you agree with this, but they are in an unpaid caring role and it's almost like it's a, a hidden carer's role. They're not actually identified as being a carer, but when you were talking about social media there, uh, in my work as a counsellor, I come across so many parents of even adult children who are totally lost to gaming and they're spending hours and hours in their room and the parents are essentially— as we're talking about this, I'm thinking to myself, the parents are actually operating in a carer's role without being identified as a carer and they're going through absolute hell trying to care for their adult children and they, and they just don't know what to do and there's no support for people like that out there.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 29:03
I quite agree with you there, Kerry. I think it's a— it is a huge area that is hidden. A lot of people do not see themselves as a carer, and yet there's so many that are out there that don't realise what they're doing. And I think when it comes to our young people, you know, we can help them as much as we possibly can, I think when it comes to the social media side, it gets back to education. So again, I often question, are we doing enough in relation to educating them? Even from a young— we probably should be starting in the primary schools, quite honestly. Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, you know, we probably need some more education around, um, how, how dangerous it can be, um, and how to use it in the right way. Because, you know, when you consider how much bullying we seem to have these days, it's, it's quite sad. And, um, we've always had bullies. I think there's been bullies throughout life, but social media, people can put something on a message which can really impact so much to somebody else. And I think we teach about having responsibility, but we need to be teaching a little bit more that there are consequences for that. Yeah. No matter how much you are taught about responsibility, you also need to be taught that there are consequences for those responsibilities. So again, we probably need a range of different people who can get together and look at what is it that we need to be doing to alleviate a lot of the issues in today's climate. It's not an easy climate. We all know that it's not an easy climate. You know, costs are escalating. People are finding it harder to come. I know even I am finding it harder to come out on finances today. And I look at our weather and I think, how many people are homeless and having to sleep out in this kind of weather? You know, now, no, we do, we ever really give enough consideration to what is happening out in our world. And if every single person just did one kind deed a day, I think our world would be such a different place. Oh, but we just seem to have become so aggro about everything.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 31:48
Yeah, I know. I can feel a forum coming on, Cheryl. Maybe, maybe you and I can get gather together and create a forum to have this discussion. So Cheryl, as we, um, come to a close, I just, one thing I wanted to touch on because we are talking in this podcast to carers that are unpaid. In that particular role. So what are the barriers to, and do you know what the process is to actually get a carer's allowance? And do you know how difficult it is and what are the barriers to that being able to happen?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 32:29
From my perspective, in relation to, there's either the carer's allowance or the carer's pension, so they're two different payments. You would certainly need a letter from your doctor who would provide the information on the person you're caring for. And you would then need to make an appointment with— they don't call it Centrelink anymore, I think it's now something Australia, I can't think of the exact name. And you would have to go in and see somebody there and then they would help, you know, there's forms you need to obviously fill in, but I'm sure depending on the situation, that they could help you with that. And then you can apply to them for that. I know that it can be challenging at times, but I think if you've got the right information— you can't just go in and say, "I'm caring for somebody," because, you know, they really need you to show. And so, as I said, you really would be best to go to your GP, and explain that you are caring for your partner or for your wife or, you know, whatever the situation, a child, and then take that information in. I do find it— yes, it can be frustrating. If you feel that it's not something you yourself can do, then I would suggest you take somebody with you who can help you do that.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 33:58
I feel that there's a stigma attached for some people to feel like they could go and get a carer's payment or pension?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 34:06
I think because most people see it as, well, that's part of my role as— whether I'm a mum, whether I'm a partner, that that's just something I would do. But I would encourage anyone who is actually a carer to try and apply for that. I think, um, you have enough financial strain, and it certainly will help a little bit if you can do that. So I would encourage people to do that, the same as I would encourage any carer to try and make sure that they are contacting those services I mentioned, like Carer Gateway or Carers Queensland, because they themselves are a great resource and They can help you in so many ways. And they also put on things like morning teas and things for the carers, or information sessions, or help with financial side. They do have a financial counsellor. So, you know, utilise them. Yeah.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 35:10
Absolutely.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 35:11
Don't try and sit there wondering, or, you know, you really need to take advantage of those services.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 35:20
100% agree, because the reality is that despite the fact that a carer might still have to work, the reality is that their work is going to be impacted, whether it be timewise or emotionally and their capacity mentally, by being able to work and care at the same time. So It's a great point that you made there about really taking advantage of the services that are out there. They are out there to help people. And Cheryl, as we close the interview today, um, you had such a long time caring for your husband Ken, and you've got such a wealth of wisdom to offer other people out there who are in a similar journey. What words would you like to share with anyone out there who is on the same path or a similar path to you?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 36:14
I think I would say do reach out to somebody, whether it's just a friend. Try not to feel like you have to be, um, alone all the time. It is a lonely journey, but reach out to somebody so that you can just have a chat or a coffee and and look at something that you can do that would give you a little bit of pleasure outside that role. I think it's really important to try and do that to ensure that you're looking after yourself.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 36:50
Well, thank you, Cheryl. Your husband Ken was so blessed to have you in his life as a carer and as a woman.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 36:57
Thank you.
Cheryl Harris (Guest) · 36:58
And we're all very blessed on the Sunshine Coast to have you in our world. So thank you for sharing with us today.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 37:04
Thank you, Kerry. It's been, um, interesting, and I can't thank you for your lovely words, um, and all the very best in what you do. I think you do a great job. Thanks a million. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Australian Carers, a Kintsugi Heroes special series. Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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