Christian Mortensen
The Theater of Life: Finding Gold in the Fractures
Christian arrived in Katoomba by accident and built 26 years of purpose by staying open to what came next.
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Christian Mortensen
Christian arrived in Katoomba by accident and built 26 years of purpose by staying open to what came next.
Hear this story
Christian Mortensen arrived in Katoomba by accident and stayed for 32 years. He was cycling around Australia in the early 1990s, lost confidence halfway through Victoria, came back to Melbourne feeling ashamed, then regrouped and tried again. When he reached the Blue Mountains, he put his bike away and never left. Over three decades, he built a life there as a paramedic, artist, pilot, and father. Place mattered because he found people who were real and connected.
Growing up between his mother's conservative Jewish world and his father's avant-garde art world taught Christian to question what counted as normal. His father once told him that frogs were saying "I am God" during meditation. Christian shared this in Hebrew studies class at age seven and was laughed at by everyone, including the teacher. That moment stuck with him: different ways of seeing the world are not wrong, they are just different. As a paramedic for 26 years, he has learned to meet people where they are, to listen without judgment, to stay flexible when new information changes everything. He treats life like a decision tree that shifts constantly.
Christian insists that mistakes are essential. He wanted to learn to fly with an instructor beside him so he could make errors in a safe space. He gives himself permission to fail at drawing, at landing planes, at anything that matters, because perfection is a barrier to actually achieving things. And he laughs. He uses unbridled laughter with patients in pain, with friends in trouble, with his wife. He sees human relationships as the most complicated thing we do and the thing that matters most. When his life is laid out, he wants to be known as someone who showed up for people, who listened, who was a force for good.
“It's okay to fail. But it's okay to retreat and then give yourself an opportunity to reflect on what it is that you, if you feel like it's something that you would like to reattempt.”
“Be open-minded is number one about life and the opportunities that life will present to you. If you are in an open state, there will opportunities, little opportunities of chance will drop at your feet.”
“We are here on Earth for a limited time, and our time is an hourglass that is running down, and we never know how much sand is in the top of that hourglass. That's invisible to us.”
The hero, today
Christian learned early that there are many ways of seeing the world, and that openness to different perspectives, even ones that seem strange or get laughed at, becomes a strength in work like paramedicine where you have to meet people where they are. The Blue Mountains became home not because Christian planned it but because he was open to what happened when he stopped running; place matters when you find people who are real and connected, and when you've built a life there over three decades. When Christian lost confidence mid-bike ride, he came back to Melbourne feeling ashamed, but then he regrouped, restructured his plan, and tried again, teaching himself that it is okay to fail and retreat as long as you reflect and give yourself a chance to reattempt. In paramedicine and in life, Christian treats new information like a decision tree that can shift at any moment; being fixed in your position is dangerous, so you have to stay flexible enough to change direction when the world shows you something you missed. Christian gives himself permission to make mistakes in everything from flying to drawing to climbing because he knows that chasing perfection is a barrier to actually achieving anything, and that discomfort at the start is the price of growth. Human relationships and being a force for good in people's lives is the most complicated thing we do and the thing that matters most; Christian pursues this through presence, listening without always needing to give advice, and showing up for people when they are vulnerable.
Yes. Christian Mortensen is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Christian learned early that there are many ways of seeing the world, and that openness to different perspectives, even ones that seem strange or get laughed at, becomes a strength in work like paramedicine where you have to meet people where they are.
The Blue Mountains became home not because Christian planned it but because he was open to what happened when he stopped running; place matters when you find people who are real and connected, and when you've built a life there over three decades.
When Christian lost confidence mid-bike ride, he came back to Melbourne feeling ashamed, but then he regrouped, restructured his plan, and tried again, teaching himself that it is okay to fail and retreat as long as you reflect and give yourself a chance to reattempt.
John Milham (Host) · 00:06
Welcome back to Kintsugi Heroes, helping people tell the stories they need to share so you can find the stories that you need to hear. In this episode, John Millum is joined by Christian Mortensen, a remarkable individual whose journey is as varied as it is inspiring. Growing up in Melbourne with a Jewish mother and an artistic father, Christian learned to value diverse perspectives early on. He pursued studies in ancient history and anthropology, eventually finding his true calling as a paramedic. Over 26 years, he's embraced the unpredictability of life, constantly learning and adapting. Beyond his paramedic role, Christian is a skilled artist and pilot, expressing creativity and seeking new challenges. Despite facing adversity and moments of self-doubt, Christian always finds a way to overcome by reflecting, regrouping, and growing stronger. His His story is one of resilience, adventure, and continuous self-improvement. Enjoy this chat with Christian Mårdensen. Ladies and gentlemen and listeners out there, our Kintsugi Heroes fan club, right, which I think we're now getting to the stage where we have, you know, one or two fans, right, which is exciting. Now, folks, today I get to talk to a bloke I admire a great deal. And more than that, I enjoy our conversation. So full disclosure, we have shared a microphone before in a radio context, and I am always blown away by his insight. Both are— he brings, you know, expertise from a first responder as a paramedic in New South Wales, but also really like a Renaissance man. Christian, yeah, I would call that Christian Mortensen. Thank you for agreeing to be with Kintsugi Heroes today and chatting with me.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 02:13
Thank you for the invitation, John. I'm very honored to be invited to share this space with you.
John Milham (Host) · 02:20
Well, mate, trust us, the listeners and I agree that the honor and privilege will be ours, right? To be honest, right, mate, as a Renaissance man, I know you are an artist, an adventurer, right? You've traveled the world and you're an extreme sportsman, a pilot. You have an interest in so many diverse things, right? The nature, both human culture and the physical and the ecology of your space. So that's why I would call you a Renaissance man. What do you call yourself, mate?
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In paramedicine and in life, Christian treats new information like a decision tree that can shift at any moment; being fixed in your position is dangerous, so you have to stay flexible enough to change direction when the world shows you something you missed.
This conversation includes a restless life without labels, two lives in melbourne, one childhood, the frog said god, learning from strangers' breaking points, the bike ride that stopped at katoomba and failure as a turning point on the road.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 03:02
Well, I don't really call myself anything. I don't try to give myself a label because I get restless and I find that labels wear out. If I'm going to speak in general terms, I'm a dad and I do call myself— I am a paramedic. That has been a sort of a very much a calling over the last 2 decades, 2 and a half decades. But I feel like I'm many things, so I try not— I don't really sort of label myself. My nickname, I am the Muz, or Muzie, and sometimes, you know, that's sufficient. But in terms of how I identify myself, well, I guess, you know, in a party conversation, if someone were to say to me, what is it, who are you, what do you do? One of the first things I say, well, I'm a paramedic here in the Blue Mountains in New South Wales, and usually the conversation goes from there. But I do, I've done a lot of different things and I've worn different hats at different times, and I think that's just part of my character. I get a bit restless and need to— what I find is I want to break new ground and try new things and challenge myself. I've done a bit.
John Milham (Host) · 04:15
Avoiding labels, of course, but that restlessness, often we seek to sort of understand that, right? You know, like, you know, there are world travelers, sometimes they're escaping from something, sometimes they're going to something, sometimes it's in their nature. We assign it, say, you know, you have, you know, as you have mentioned to me before, right, you're tall, Swathi, good looks are borrowed from your Scandinavian/European sort of heritage.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 04:46
Danish, Polish is where I'm from. So half Danish on my father's side, Polish on my mother's side, and very much all sort of European, as it turns out, in my ancestry.
John Milham (Host) · 04:58
And interestingly, you described, you said you would introduce yourself as a paramedic working in the Blue Mountains. Now, two important categories there, two important labels even. The nature of your service to the community. It's not just a job you're doing, right? And also place. Is place important to you?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 05:19
Oh, the Blue Mountains is very important to me. I grew up in Melbourne and was raised in Melbourne. I had a sort of, I guess you might say, an unusual upbringing. And at that stage, just to come back to this idea of place, I'm very much sort of Melbourne born and bred, but I've been here in the Blue Mountains now for over 30 years. And as it turns out, I've been here longer in the mountains than I have been sort of where I grew up. But raised by a Jewish mum and by a dad who was a visual artist, a sculptor and a performance artist. And they separated when I was very young and I led two separate lives, one of a sort of a liberal Jewish upbringing. I went to a Jewish school. And then later went to Melbourne High, a school in the center of Melbourne, a boys' school. And then simultaneously with that, I was also raised by my father and was brought up in an art lifestyle. So, you know, surrounded by painting, sculpture, performance, other artists, and they're all sort of like broadly like from a hippie kind of background. Sort of thing. I left Melbourne in the early '90s. I've got— ah, now, so we're coming back to this idea before I get into my full life story. Look, place is important. The Blue Mountains is very important to me, to answer your question more directly, because I have a deep affinity. I used to work here as an adventure guide, as both climbing and/or canyoning and working with groups, outdoor education and things like that in the bush. And The mountains and its peaks, the cliff lines, its canyons, and the remoteness of it is very like— holds a space which is very special to me because I've climbed all over those cliffs. I've had crazy experiences and really pushed myself in physical and mental ways that I hadn't thought possible in my younger years. And that, in a way, then progressed me and led in towards the career. That I've currently got. So look, and the mountain space is an absolutely beautiful space. The community is really beautiful. The people who I meet, the counterculturalism of it, the deep love that people feel for each other and the connectedness of my community is very special. And I encourage everyone to find a space where they can feel that with that sort of connectedness in their community. It's something that's absolutely lovely. I mean, just yesterday I was hanging out with a couple of friends And we were saying how special it was, just the sort of the friendships that we've built over the years.
John Milham (Host) · 08:08
It's a, you know, someone who just drops in occasionally into the place, an observation might be for me that it seems like a whole bunch of restless people make a home there. You know, like intellectually restless, emotionally restless, physically restless. They seem to have come from all over the place as well. As well as these long-term sort of contrarian locals that have been here generations, right?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 08:38
But I guess we see less and less of those people who've been here for generations. And they would perhaps believe that unless you were born and raised here or had been here your entire life, you're not really a local. And I'd counter that by saying that The people of the mountains are immediately very welcoming and it's a very welcome space to be, to make heartfelt connections with people, to find people of your ilk. And, you know, especially if, you know, you're prepared to be like earthy, connected with others and be real. Like there's something very real about the people from the mountains. And we faced adversity in the form of fire. And certainly, you know, in terms of natural disasters, that sort of brought us together strongly. COVID also brought us strongly together as well because, well, for a start, the tourists weren't allowed to come up to the mountains, so it was very much a mountains-only space at that stage during COVID during lockdowns. And to tell you the truth, that was such a, that was a real positive aspect of of those lockdowns is we're already in an amazing space and we had it to ourselves quite selfishly. Yeah. So look, I absolutely love it and I built my home here. I've built a family here and a career here and I just ended up here by accident. You know, I didn't even intend to be here. I was— and those who know my journey, you know that I did a bike ride out of Melbourne back in the early '90s. Where I jumped on my pushbike and said, I'm going to ride around Australia. And I said goodbye to all my friends and family in Melbourne. And I took off across Victoria and physically and mentally, it was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. It was exhausting. It was hot. It was lonely. And it was a great deal of uncertainty about what I was doing. And look, I got across Victoria. I got up the coast of New South Wales. I met some people along the way. And I ended up in Katoomba and I just said, oh my God, this place is amazing. I just love it. And I put the bike in the shed and I never went any further. And that was like 32 years ago. And occasionally bump into people. Did you ever finish your bike ride around Australia? Well, no, not really. I just ended up in Katoomba and I've been here ever since. It really suited me and my vibe and I love the climbing. And the adventure lifestyle. And I was able to actually get work as an adventure guide, which was an ambition of mine to do at the time. And so I delved into that for quite a few years, guiding on the local cliff lines, guiding the Three Sisters, which you can't do anymore. That's all closed, that cliff line. But every Saturday I would be taking clients up the backs of the Three Sisters. And, you know, and then during my days off, I would be out climbing on the cliff lines myself. And that was— it's quite something special. There's There's nothing quite like being at height, holding on to the side of a rock face just by the sheer strength of your arms and your core and your will, and then looking out into the void of the wilderness and it just being absolutely spectacular.
John Milham (Host) · 12:03
Well, that sounds completely horrible, right? But if you're— if you think that's a good thing, well, you know, that's why we're here to explore all sorts of different attitudes and understandings.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 12:15
Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's certainly not for everyone and it comes with risks. Okay, now climbing is a more popular sport now than it ever was before, but it's not without its risks. People need to be aware of that. So anyway, so interesting, right?
John Milham (Host) · 12:31
You know, like the Adventure Guide thing and so on, there's obviously a track to wander down there as well. But also your upbringing was characterized by that dichotomy between what is a very conservative view of the world, that sort of liberal Jewish upbringing, and very avant-garde. Your father's work is pushing boundaries in social and cultural stuff. Yeah, so, and you in the middle of that as a young boy in that whole kind of the sensibility of cultural stretch and the concept of avant-garde, understanding, exploring new values and so on. How did you reconcile that as a kid?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 13:25
That was a very strange component of my life. And I couldn't— it's not something that I could talk to my peers about, my friends at the time who are other mates that I was hanging out with because they had no idea. It was so different, my upbringing. You know, during the week I was, you know, sort of— my mother was a schoolteacher at the school that I was going to, Mount Scopus College. I got a great education there, but it was very much a sort of a conservative Jewish upbringing. And then on the weekends, I'd be hanging out with my father making sculpture. You know, he would be discussing philosophical concepts with me. You know, right from an early age, we would sit down and, you know, he would discuss various aspects of life and Zen philosophy. And he was into meditation and he would raise questions with me. To give you an example of the interplay between those two cultures and how that set up some strange situations. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my father, we had gone to visit my father in the Dandenongs in the Blue Mountains and he lived, sorry, in the Dandenongs in Melbourne, outside Melbourne. And he sat me down and he said, Christian, I've had a very interesting experience this week. And I said, oh yeah, Dad, what was it? And he said, well, as I was meditating now, I heard the frogs that were down by the creek line at the back fence. And I was like, okay. And I realized that the frogs were saying something to me. And I was like, oh, okay. And he said, like in the meditation, it seemed like the frogs were saying to me, I am God. I was like, wow, okay, the frog said, I am God. And he said, yes, have a think about that. What do you think about that? And I sat and I remember sitting for a while and thinking about it and thinking about the frogs and thinking, well, you know, God is a sort of an idea of a universal concept and that God is in everything and the divine is in everything. And I sort of learned that in my studies. And I thought, well, you know, if the Frogs are, you know, saying that I am God. There's no reason why they couldn't be as much God as anything else in our existence. And I sort of said, yeah, Dad, I kind of get it. And he said, yeah, so that's something, you know, that was very special to me and a very interesting experience. And I go, okay. And I sort of filed it away. And about 3 months later, maybe 4 or 5 months later, I was sitting in class and I was in year 1 or year 2. In primary school in Jewish studies. And we were talking about biblical studies and talking about biblical history in the Old Testament. And the Hebrew studies teacher, who is an Israeli man, sort of, and a bit kind of strict. I remember him being a bit sort of formal, sort of saying, so who in the class can tell me what is the nature of God? What do you believe about God? And I thought, oh gosh, I've got some experience about that. I put up my hand and other kids put up their hands and, you know, he sort of went, David, what do you think, David? David said, well, God, you know, created the heavens and the earth. And yes, very good. And Rachel, what do you think, Rachel? And Rachel sort of said, you know, God rewards people who do well. And then he goes, excellent. And Christian, what do you think? And I said, oh, my dad says that God is in the frogs. And at that point, everyone erupted into laughter. And the Hebrew studies teacher, like, he just cracked and started laughing. And I sort of sat there kind of stunned. And I was looking around going, why is everyone laughing? Like, what's so funny about that? And so I sort of said, but look, the frog's told him. And at that point, everyone who wasn't already laughing just crippled, just doubled over and were rolling on the ground laughing their heads off. And I sat there kind of mortified and, you know, going beetroot red. And anyway, and I sort of filed that away as an interesting experience of the interplay between, you know, my father's understanding of the world and his art, sort of art bias and what is otherwise everyone else's understanding.
John Milham (Host) · 17:58
Brilliant. And it strikes me that's a wonderful illustration of the challenge maybe of that upbringing, right? How do I understand the vision of my father, what he sees and how he processes the world, which is kind of an open outward and accepting look. And in many ways, right, the other side of the upbringing is certainly probably more boundary-driven and maybe less open and accepting.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 18:29
What it has done, though, it has set me up to question what is considered to be normal and what is the accepted and to really be open-minded with regards to possibilities of life. And also to be accepting of alternative perspectives. So I find myself being a sort of a very open-minded person. I like to listen to what other people have to say. I like to hear what their opinions are without really casting my own judgment on that and really just sort of like getting a sort of a feel for the, for the diversity of people's understandings of life and the journeys that they've gone through. And that has certainly helped me with my work as a paramedic in terms of being non-judgmental, about being open-minded, about being— but also to being able to apply critical thinking to things without being fixed in my perspective and sort of blinkered, but really trying to open myself out to possibilities of stuff.
John Milham (Host) · 19:38
So, and that's amazing you get there, right? So we're shaped by our experiences. What do you think were the things you learned that have held you in good stead from navigating that interesting— obviously plenty of love and care, but also an unusual framework. So what do you take and what are you grateful for today?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 20:03
Well, oh God, there are so many lessons in life. There are so many lessons. And look, and I think number one, being open to the idea that there are lessons in life and that there are things to be learned is very important and that there are learnings to be made and that there's life that you can progress yourself and develop yourself. And there's always something new and sort of exciting to explore. Either about yourself or observing it in other people as well. I'm very privileged in that the job that I'm in as a paramedic, one of the great things about being a paramedic is the opportunity to learn from other people's experiences. That is absolutely huge where I get to meet such a broad cross-section of the community. And I've worked in Western Sydney a fair bit. I worked there, down there for years. I've worked in the mountains. So mostly it's sort of been around Sydney-based Western Sydney, Blue Mountains. But I've worked in the city and I've done some overseas work and that sort of thing. But when you get to, you know, as a paramedic, it's a very privileged position. People, you're seeing people in a very vulnerable state and they, and you're asking very probing questions about what's going on for them. And the information that they give me, you know, which is held in strict confidence, it allows me to get perspectives on the sorts of decisions, the life-changing decisions, the pluses, the minuses, the wins, the losses that they've had in their lives. And, you know, through just having— and not everyone is critically unwell, by the way. So when I meet a patient, sometimes it's just we're having a conversation about what's going on without me performing a medical intervention. So they're not always, you know, it's not always that have that time pressure. But it does give me an opportunity to reflect and pause and reflect on, on what it is that has brought them to the position where they are now. Their wins and their losses. And then I can use that and I can assemble that information and use that in my own life as an opportunity for learning. So it does give me those opportunities to think about, oh, did they do that well? That, you know, they did that very well. That they had— that was a very interesting character trait that they expressed. You know, gosh, they're being stoic, or how are they handling it? Oh gosh, their life is so complicated. You know, those sorts of things. And then pause to reflect about, well, how does that— how do I then relate that to my own life? So there are many lessons to be taken. But broadly speaking, what I can say is this. Firstly, we are here on Earth for a limited time, and our time is an hourglass that is running down, and we never know how much sand is in the top of that hourglass. That's invisible to us. And that we should learn, we should be appreciative of the time that we have on the planet to interact. It's a real, you know, joy. It's— life's obviously not without its challenges. Of course, we've had many, many challenges and life can be very difficult. But at the same time, I know that I don't take for granted that time that's running through that hourglass, because at any given time it may just run out and that will be my time done. So, you know, that, that, that is an important lesson for people to understand, I guess, to not treat time in a frivolous way, like I've got all the time in the world. We don't. And as you know, it feels like, you know, things can happen in the blink of an eye and and then we're done. So that's an important lesson for me. And I see that through my work as a paramedic, how life can be cut short. And sometimes there's not a— we try everything that we— everything that I'll throw my entire skill set at a patient and with everything that I can do will get done. But it's to no avail. So, yeah, we all have to recognize that our time here is limited and to be appreciative of that time and to treat it with a sense of reverence, I guess, is what I try to do. And that's part of the reason what's sort of driven me, sort of this restlessness to go and do a few, you know, try a few different things, you know, do my work as an artist. And have a really good crack at that. Learn to be a pilot, have a really good crack at that. Do— I've spent, you know, 4 or 5 years working as a theatre actor and treading the boards on stage. And, you know, what can I get from that? And what sort of skill set does that give to me? And then, you know, why don't I impart my knowledge to someone else? Let's work as an educator. So I worked for about 10, 15 years as an educator as well. In the pre-hospital first aid space. Yeah. So I think, and the other thing too is not to be scared of life. I'm all for taking, taking measured risks. So that's one of the things I learned about climbing is that you can, when you're at the base of the wall, when we're looking up at the climb, sort of in front of us. You know, there are risks involved with that. I know there'll be physical challenge associated with it. But I know that if even just the act of attempting the climb, there'll be a great sense of personal achievement for me. I will take measured— I will take measures to ensure my safety. I've got a harness, I've got a rope, I'm wearing a helmet. I establish a level of communication with my belayer, the second person who's going to assist me with the climb, and all that sort of stuff. And then I make sure that I'm centered, and then I have a crack at whatever I'm doing. I may be successful, I may not, but I'm prepared to take the risk and to step into an uncomfortable space. Physically, it can be very hard. Mentally, there'll be— there's certainly been times where I thought I could so easily put a foot wrong here and die, take a fatal fall. I've been in some very risky situations over the years, but they are calculated, they are calculated risks. And that doesn't mean that you have to sort of dive into extreme sports to experience this. But I've stepped into the same space with aviation and in general aviation because, well, you know, you can't help but think, well, God, what if I crash the plane? And that is always a possibility in any circumstances. But I study, I practice, I gain proficiency, I do flight reviews, I take lessons, and I do all those things to ensure that I'm safe. And I also know that when I've stepped into a space Like, for example, I took my wife April up flying the other day, and as I rotated the aircraft, as in brought it into the air at the end of the runway, a thunderstorm opened up in front of me and I was like, nope, it's a no-go. Turned around and immediately landed the aeroplane. The flight was about 6 minutes in length and I was like, oh, that was a great learning for me. And you know that I I hadn't seen the storm, it wasn't on the radar. It basically sort of developed just as I was sort of doing my run-ups and takeoff roll down the runway. And then bang, there it was in front of me. And I'm like, abort. And I knew then that, you know, and I was confident in myself to know that it was okay to call it quits, to back away and to be ready to fly. Well, you need to maintain safety. I had to be thinking of this. Safety of my passenger as well as myself. That's paramount. Land the aircraft. It was like a 6-minute flight, but what a great flight. What a great learning experience for me. Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 28:47
I love the idea of climbing being about getting out of comfort zone into performance zone, but also making, you know, being intentional about that. So rather than impulsive, right, which is such an important place for men to get. To.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 29:03
Yeah, yeah. I think it's great. And it doesn't have to be, like I say, in that sort of extreme sense, but it's really good to stretch those boundaries of where you are comfortable. And it's very easy just to be comfortable because it's comfy, right? But to actually, you know, take a step outside your comfort zone. Like April and I went and did tango lessons for about 3 years. And I'm not— I like dancing, but I'm certainly not a tango dancer. And it was awkward and a little bit uncomfortable to start with. But by the end of it, holy, it was such a joyous thing to be able to have a physical conversation with the other dancer and freeform the sort of the tango movements around that stuff. And then, you know, and then there's these rewards that you get from it, friendships and, you know, you become physically more proficient at things and you know what it's like with dancing, right? It's, you know, it can be initially kind of uncomfortable and you feel kind of vulnerable and you feel a bit awkward and, you know, you put a foot wrong. But everyone's like that. Everything always starts out for the beginner as being a little bit awkward and a bit uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean that you can't step into that space and find the sort of the joy and be a bit— give it your all and work it up over time and gain some proficiencies.
John Milham (Host) · 30:26
Yeah, absolutely. Of course, dancing is a great, a great, another great metaphor. So climbing, dancing, artists, artistry. I did want to ask you about, uh, but just go, going back to that flying example, right? The idea that, uh, you made a choice to that, you know, understanding what you were capable of, your limits, right? And then pulling back from that very sensibly, still having and having a great, you know, being able to go there, but also being able to limit your exposure on a calculated risk basis. Right. And it struck me that one of the great strengths for men to possess and perhaps don't possess to their detriment as a cohort is that ability, vulnerable strength, being vulnerable enough to recognize we shouldn't be doing something. We're often encouraged to dive in and do something. And that's been your life, right? You've dived in and had to go, grabbed, jumped on a bike and started pedaling into the unknown. Where did you learn to say, is like, no, I don't go. That's too much for anyone.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 31:52
Yeah. Yeah. That actually happened on that bike journey. I mean, that's happened to me as well. You need to, if you're going to be, you know, step into this space of breaking new ground, you need to be prepared to make mistakes. And that's part and parcel of it, you know, and make mistakes or just realize actually that's actually not for me. And when I started that bike journey, I'd got about sort of about a third of the way in and I just lost all my confidence at that time. It was emotionally like absolutely grueling. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. I was saying goodbye to an intense, you know, sort of love relationship that I was in at the time. And I was saying goodbye to all my Melbourne contacts and friends and sort of embarking out into the unknown. And I actually retreated and came back to Melbourne and felt sort of a sense of shame around that, you know, a real sense of uncertainty, like, who am I? And is this what I should be doing? And really very unsettled. And, you know, and the other thing, too, is I'd set up an expectation amongst my peers that I was actually going to go and do this. Right. So they— everyone expected me to get on the bike and go and ride around Australia. And here I was back in Melbourne, so metaphorically with my tail between my legs, going, oh shit, I failed. But I regrouped and I took about a week just to gather myself, rethink what is it about this that is so uncomfortable and how can I adjust this? Is this something I still want to do?. And I felt, I guess, you know, I had set up an expectation amongst my friends and family that I was actually going to go ahead and do this. They said, well, have you really given it your all? Not yet. Why don't you give it a go? So I readjusted my— I planned it a little more carefully. I worked out, okay, instead of just free-forming it, how about I plan, you know, I'm going to cycle this amount on this day. I'm going to stop in this town. I'm going to spend some time in this caravan park. I'm going to then ride again to the next town and then take a break there and that sort of thing. So I structured it a little more carefully. And with that structure in my mind, I then had the confidence. I went, I caught a train back to my departure point where I did my turnaround and then continued the journey. And it was a really important lesson for me in that it's okay to fail. But, and it's okay to retreat and then give yourself an opportunity to reflect on what it is that you, if you feel like it's something that you would like to reattempt. And if you decide to not reattempt it, well, it's only really me that's only going to be my hardest critic. And as long as you forgive yourself and let it go, you can let it go. But I wasn't yet ready to really let it go. So I just sort of rethought about and restructured what I was going to do and had another crack at it. It's a little bit like that in paramedicine, and it's an important lesson to learn. As a paramedic, when we approach a patient, they don't come with a diagnosis. They come with a set of symptoms and they have a chief complaint and they describe what that is to you. And then in front of you, there emerges a what I would call a decision tree. So we have an idea in our mind about what might be occurring for that patient, a particular medical event, for example, chest pain. What is it, you know, people with chest pain? Well, I have to think about all the differentials for a chest pain. Is the person having a heart attack? Is the person— do they have a clot in their lung? Are they experiencing something to do with reflux and gastrointestinal symptoms? Or is this something else completely? Do they have an infection in their lung? And we go down and we sort of make— we ask questions which help us drill down what it is where we think that what is going on with that patient, because I have to provide treatment for that patient. Right. We're not just sort of handing them over to the doctor. Sometimes it's a life-saving intervention that we have to inform. And we may commence treatment for that patient. And then a new piece of information will come to light. And then we have to suddenly rethink and just sort of a whole decision-making process will completely shift and push it in a completely different tangent. And we have to be flexible enough in what we do to A, adapt and see that there's been a change. That there's a new priority that has occurred and that we're prepared to take our treatment and our interventions in a completely different direction. And it's a little bit like that in life. And in terms of the decisions that we have to make on a daily basis where we're given information and we try, you know, like I say to people, be open-minded, be receptive to that information and don't immediately be sort of blinkered by what you are seeing and what's in front of you. Because in fact, there's a whole wealth of information that you can take on board if you just open yourself, open a little bit more. Then you have to sort of filter all that stuff out. And then sort of it'll come to a point where you'll want to embark on some sort of action. And as long as you sort of like, you realize that, okay, that may take you in the right direction and you may feel good about that and you're reaping the rewards of those actions. But the situations— the world is a malleable plastic place where you're very dynamic and chaotic. Be prepared to, you know, don't be fixed in what you're doing. Be prepared to change directions if you need to change direction. Be prepared to take a step back. Accept that you have made a mistake and own that. And then, OK, that's an opportunity for learning. When I was doing my flight training and training up to be a pilot, God, I made so many mistakes in the flight process. I had an instructor there with me and who would, you know, if the situation got critical, they would take over. But I wanted to make those mistakes. They were great opportunities for learning. I knew that if I made those mistakes with an instructor sitting there beside me, then that was going to be a great learning opportunity for me and I was less likely to make those mistakes later on. When I was sort of pilot in command. So making mistakes is a great opportunity for learning. And likewise, receive— being open and receptive to information that's coming in and then having the opportunity to change direction, not being so sort of dogmatic and fixed in your position and saying, no, it's going to be like this. This is how it is. This is my opinion. But instead understanding that life is complicated and we could change direction and do all sorts of things. Everything is possible in an infinite universe. There's infinite possibilities, right?
John Milham (Host) · 39:10
So much useful advice, right? And particularly for blokes and stuff. So, you know, I'll leave them to unpack that. It was really inspiring, the idea of mistakes and then being flexible enough to take the lesson and all that. Brilliant stuff. But what struck me as you were talking was the idea that going through that process, there's a lot you need to be capable of just to be a paramedic. Right. So it's like Zen and the Art of Paramedicine, right? It's like you have to have a level of maturity, flexibility. Usually we're working towards that. That's almost like a work in progress. Right. So when you bring that— so are paramedics made or are paramedics a natural phenomenon? Is this— are you drawn to it because you're a natural?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 40:04
I have a love of adventure and I have a love of uncertainty and diversity in things. Right. So every day is different. Right. And, you know, we're one phone call away from the biggest job of your career. That's basically what it's like. And it's certainly been very much like that. I've been in the job for 26 years now. And look, the sorts of things that I've got an opportunity to participate in and affect the outcomes of are just astounding. Now, in terms of are people called to it? Well, people, you know, you have to have a desire now. You have to have a real desire to actually want to join the, you know, any ambulance service in Australia. Because it requires a degree behind you. So people— what I see now is that people are exposed to paramedicine either through a TV show like one of the ambulance shows or Paramedics or the like, or they have had a personal experience with an ambulance service, as in they've been a patient or they've seen someone treated, or they— people just feel a need that they want to create, have a meaningful interaction and provide meaningful assistance to the community. Like, it is very meaningful what we do.
John Milham (Host) · 41:24
Are there generational paramedics?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 41:26
Yeah, there are certainly generations of paramedics, and, you know, I often see in our magazines, you know, dads and mums proudly standing with their, you know, son or daughter who's the next generation. So, so there's that. Was I called to it? Well, my background came from when I was at university and I've got a degree, strangely, you know, prepared themselves through that, through university, you know, studies and simulations and things like that. Like they know what they have to do on an academic sense. But once you're confronted with the reality of, you know, the sights and sounds of the actual event,, it can be very disturbing if you're not yet ready to assemble that into a framework where you can really acknowledge it and understand how that then fits in with the rest of the world. And, you know, and that's sort of— that's a lot of where PTSD sort of comes from, in my experience, is that you've witnessed something which is absolutely super intense. How do you then react and then interact with normal life, given that you know that this has occurred, where everything becomes coated in this film of that experience and it's sort of added a stink, you know, to, you know, things that you would otherwise go and enjoy? Then how do you get rid of that smell? You know that. That real sense of revulsion or emotional turmoil that has welled up inside you because you've participated in this particularly traumatic event. And that takes a bit of time to come to terms with, like, where— how do these things fit in with our understanding of the world? It's one thing to watch it on the news and then see, you know, somebody else's— oh, you know, somebody got stabbed at you know, Petersham the other night. Oh yeah. But, you know, it's not until you're there and you're actually trying to save the man's life that you realize, wow, this is very, very real. And then I guess over time I've come to realize that life is not always very pretty and that people go through great hardships and that that is just part of the rich human existence that we have. And yeah, so I have a great sense of the reality of things, you know.
John Milham (Host) · 44:04
I love that image. You know, I have a big image of you in the middle of this broad concrete floored kind of expanse with lockers surrounding you, right, with all of the experiences you have. Right. And of course, you know, that sense of when they're all out on and you're having to clean them up, that idea that you were like— what came to me was like this sense of like emotional PPE, right? Oh, you're putting— you know, you're putting on your suit and your mask and your goggles and head shield or whatever.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 44:37
Yeah.
John Milham (Host) · 44:38
Which is like the idea of saying, hey, I've got to interact with my truth, my experience, my emotion. My understanding, but I'd probably need to put a little bit of extra protection around it, right? That bubble.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 44:51
Yeah, that's right. You do need to wear— you know, we do need to have that PPE on, that emotional PPE. I love that analogy. That's fantastic. And you've got to make sure that it fits correctly and, you know, get the mask seal right and make sure that, you know, you're not cross-contaminating yourself because it's really easy to do all those things. It doesn't matter if you're wearing gloves. You know, if the gloves are covered in blood, you're sort of wiping your nose with it, you know. So you've got to be careful about all those things. And you need to— I very much, you know, I know that there's all those jobs are there, all those experiences are there. And I just call that, you know, the theater of life. At one point, I actually used to perform theater, and I loved, you know, being that and living in somebody else's story and playing a character. And then I swapped that out for the theater of life. And it's very much— that's what life is like. It's like this sort of this crazy turn of events that goes on. Some of the stuff that I've seen, just go, there's no way that could be, you know, someone could even conceive, make this stuff up. But it occurs. And that's an opportunity. I like, I like having access to those stories. You know, I like, you know, I like having this idea that life is really rich and there's all this stuff going on around us that is often very much hidden. And I get this little sort of— I get a window of a privileged, little privileged window that I get to look into and manipulate stuff that I try and affect the outcome as best I can. But you know, that certainly life isn't boring as a paramedic, put it that way.
John Milham (Host) · 46:29
What's interesting in that is the idea, like, we're going back full circle almost to, you know, as an artist, right, you know, your job is to unlock that truth of life as opposed to lock it away, which is what, you know, the, um, you know, the idea that, uh, you know, you were talking about in the kind of paramedic sense, right? So, you know, in some ways you've got an experience, the real aspect of life you're putting in the, in the locker. But as an artist That's what you— you know, would it be fair to say you're looking for that, right?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 47:07
Uh, in a way, yes. And I delved into that. I did a, a series of detailed drawings and anatomical drawings where I did portraits of friends of mine with their skin removed so I could look at the anatomical structures under the face, uh, the muscles, the nerve endings. The glands and things like that. And they were pretty confronting, I would have to say, because, you know, on a superficial level, you see, here we are and we interact with us, with everyone. We have our skin on and we have our social face and so on. But underneath that, there's sort of muscles working, blood moving. Glands working, organs pumping. And I get an opportunity then, and sometimes I see inside the body. I have an opportunity to look at what is going on deep inside the body itself. And that's not always very pleasant, usually because it's broken. And I sort of explored that in this series of portraits and drawings of people. But also I used it as a way to improve my anatomical understanding of the way things worked, like the anatomy of the forearm and the muscles and how our hands work. Because at that time I actually had to teach a hand examination and how we were, you know, would examine the various tendons and functions of the, of the hand. So I used that anatomical drawing and structures of the forearm to get a sort of a a better understanding of that. So I've used it as a learning aid. And then I've also done some stuff where I've drawn pathologies of the human body as well. Tumors, necrotic dying sections of bowel and stuff like that, because it's absolutely sort of— it's almost sort of disturbing. But at the same time, it can be quite intriguing and almost a little bit aesthetic with some of the stuff that I sort of put together. So I sort of delved into that a little bit. I also had done, I've illustrated a book with Tony Loxley who's about to produce a book, it's about to be published on World War I and the history of World War I in pictures and landscapes. And I did a series of plates for that where I had to take a deep dive into the history of World War I and the what that was like. And that was really interesting as well because that was a very dark, very heavy time in our history. And then to draw those things up and, you know, drawing shell craters and dying men and injured people and deceased and all, you know, I had a few. I mean, it was a very dark part of history. So I took a deep dive at that stage into doing those things as well. And I really— what I did was I called on my experiences as a paramedic and my understanding of the fragility of life. But at the same time, there's also— whilst, you know, we can say that life is fragile, there's a great deal of resilience that I see in people, both mentally and physically as well. And I drew upon those experiences to help me, I guess, try and capture what that was like for our diggers, because I wasn't there. Like, I've never been to war. I haven't been on the battlefield. I've just been on the battlefield of daily life out in the community. So I just tried to bring some of that into those illustrations, and I hope that when the book is finally published, that people sort of get an idea of, you know, the sort of the gravitas of what that, what those situations are, what those fields of conflict are like. And The book will be amazing when it comes out anyway. So it's not yet in print, but it will be soon, hopefully. Wow.
John Milham (Host) · 51:17
Just to get— I realize I don't want to sort of keep you forever, but I do like with all of these different— I love hearing you and how your restless life has, has, you know, woven itself together into a stream, right? And there's a lot that comes out of that, a lot of wisdom that comes out of it. What do you find are the key things, like, as a man now with, you know, with career and accomplishments and, you know, the accidents had, the lessons learned, and the, you know, improvements made What do you think is important for other blokes to know? Maybe younger men who are looking for some sort of guidance.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 52:07
Yeah, yeah. Good. A good question. Look, people, you can walk all— there are many paths that you can walk on. And sometimes that path will be very clear to you. Like when I— so when I joined the ambulance service, On the very first day that I sat in my welcoming sort of lecture where my class was sitting down and we were being introduced to being in the ambulance service, I had a flash, a realisation. And that realisation came to me as, this is my career. I'm going to do this till I retire. And I had a great deal of sense of certainty right there and then. And I had never experienced something like that previously. And I've tried all different sorts of jobs. But I'm also aware that there are many paths that I can take and I'm still taking, which progress me as a person. I think, I think for men, be open-minded is number one about life and the opportunities that life will present to you. If you are in an open state, there will opportunities, little opportunities of chance will drop at your feet. And you can exercise a choice. You can step over that opportunity or you can stop, bend down, pick it up and then take it. Oh, this is an opportunity. Let's develop this and see where it will take me. Not to be scared of taking those little opportunities of chance and then allowing it to take you in a direction which will progress you, which will take you somewhere which is completely unexpected. So that could be a chance encounter with somebody. It might be an opportunity for a conversation with a stranger. It may be God, who knows? Even something along the lines of, you know, a flat tire in your car on the side of the road can introduce you to a new possibility and a new change of direction. You know, it's like life is life. Like there's chaos all around us. And it's like the butterfly effect of the wing that the Butterfly that flaps its wings in Sydney affects the weather in southern United States. There's lots of little things that play on my life and I can trace those things back to, well, how do I end up sort of being a pilot? The reason why I ended up being a pilot was because I went shopping with my wife at a shop for a raincoat. Right. And I ran into a friend of mine who just as it turns out, was a flight instructor and just bought a flight school. And I was like, oh, flight school, tell me a bit about that. Now, if I had not been and gone and, you know, taken the— gone out shopping with her, you know, for this raincoat to go bushwalking, then I wouldn't have ended up being a pilot. So, you know, and life is full of that sort of stuff that goes on. The fact that I'm here with you and having a conversation with you was because I met Brad Spillane and he invited me on the podcast for the Men's Mental Health Show. And I took that opportunity up. And so suddenly I find myself, you know, being somebody who can have a conversation. So I love those little opportunities. I love grabbing them and going places with them. I really do. Like, it's— I've met so many interesting people and done so much, so many interesting things over my time. And I know there's so much more. There's going to be so many more opportunities, you know, and I'm open and receptive to that. So that's what I would say. Just be open and receptive to those opportunities that come up. And then, yeah, it might be uncomfortable, but have a crack at it. Give it a go and be prepared to make an error, to make mistakes. And that's okay. One of the things that I'll say, relate this back to making art, is that when people say to me, oh gosh, you know, your drawings are lovely, I wish I could draw like that, I'm trying to draw but I find that it's very, you know, it's awkward and uncomfortable. And I said, perfect. It's okay when you start something out and in a drawing for it to be uncomfortable and to be making mistakes. It's very important you give yourself permission to make mistakes. That's very important. Because if you don't give yourself permission to make mistakes, then you're not, you're always going to strive for some level of perfection, which is actually going to hinder you and be a barrier to you actually succeeding. And it's the handicap of perfection. So be prepared to make mistakes. Allow yourself to— give yourself the permission to do that. And know that it's okay, that the drawing will go through some uncomfortable phases where you go, "Oh, that doesn't look right." "Oh, I can't— I'm not happy with that." But you can continue to work that through persist with it and suddenly you'll find yourself, oh my God, I've achieved something really remarkable here. I didn't know I was capable of doing this. And if you're prepared to make those mistakes, you're prepared to be, okay, yep, I can do better. How can I do this? How can I improve this? You know, I flared too early. The aircraft landing was a little bit heavy. What did I do wrong? Okay, okay. Getting some feedback, taking that on board. Yeah, and then through practice, we achieve a state of competence about these things. So allow yourself to make mistakes and pick up those opportunities when you can. Beautiful.
John Milham (Host) · 58:04
That's a powerful chapter in the Moosman Manifesto for sure. And now we're talking about the end, a strong finish, right? Yeah, yeah.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 58:14
But can I say one more thing?
John Milham (Host) · 58:16
Of course.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 58:17
Can I say one more thing?
John Milham (Host) · 58:18
Yeah, yeah.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 58:19
You've got to have a laugh, right?
John Milham (Host) · 58:21
Right.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 58:21
You've got to have a laugh. It's really important that you every day just have some complete unbridled laughter. Like, just, you know, see the humor in things. Feel that utter sense of joy and give yourself over to having a great laugh at a joke, something, you know, maybe on the TV. Or, you know, an interaction with a friend. I love— I use humor as a way— I use it with patients actually as a way to uplift the patients. You know, if you can get somebody laughing whilst they're in pain, you know, that's pain relief right there. You know, it's a sense of well-being and optimism that you've injected into the scene, you know, without— before we even give any sort of pharmacological intervention, if you can, you know, have a— get a person smiling and feeling great and having, you know, and that's all about bedside manner, right? Great bedside manner. And then, you know, the person feels uplifted, they feel recognized, and you're having a laugh with them. And, you know, then, you know, life can seem so much better. Things become surmountable as opposed to insurmountable. So have a laugh. And I love to throw my head back and just laughing at some joke, some corny dad joke. More dad jokes. That's a great one. Can we have as many dad jokes as possible? They are great. Yeah, so do that as well.
John Milham (Host) · 59:44
I love how you, you just, you know, you just predicted what my final question was, right? Because they're like, basically, right, I was going to ask, what do you want to bring into your life constantly or what you've learned is essential, right, for you to continue to thrive and grow. So, you know, laughter being definitely one of it. What else do you think we need to— you know, what else should we be cultivating? You know, what's going to make your life better?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:00:19
Oh, for me, it's about also human relationships, my interactions with my wife, with my children, with my friends, my colleagues. About being real and open and, you know, not, you know, give up the pretension and, you know, that sort of ego-driven stuff. I'm not into that. I'm into hearing, you know, people's stories, being present and listening and being present for people as well. That involves being vulnerable as well. You know, so, you know, I'm certainly, you know, very vulnerable at times and I'm open to people being vulnerable around me. So, you know, when my friends are having trouble and, you know, being somebody that they can talk to and I can have a conversation with them and just listen to them, I don't always have to give them advice. I don't feel compelled to always give people advice, but I can certainly listen to what they've got to say. And that's sometimes all you really need to have. So I like to be present for people, to be somebody that they can talk to in confidence. And I need, you know, that's something I also have to practice professionally as well. But amongst my peers as well, I like to, you know, be a force for good in their lives. I don't like being a sort of a disruptive person and somebody who throws the cat amongst the pigeons or I'm not, you know, I don't like the idea of reveling in somebody else's pain or trolling someone or anything like that. I think life in the end, in the great wash-up at the end of our lives when everything is laid out before us as, are you a good person? You know, that's the question we are. Have we done well? Have we had meaningful interactions with people? Whereby we have been a force for good and positivity in life. So it's a bit about that. And I mean, there's more to life than that. I mean, all the daily grind of things and, you know, sleep and eating and exercise and all that sort of stuff. But for me, it's human relationships. I'm very much a person's person. I like interacting with other people. That's not for everyone, though. For some people, it's very much, you know, they might only have 1 or 2 friends in their life. That can be a little bit difficult at times, especially if you're moving house. You need to call on all your friends to help come and lift furniture, right?
John Milham (Host) · 1:02:58
That is true.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:02:58
I hadn't—
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:00
that particular challenge aspect of it doesn't normally pop up until I have to move house. And then I realize I really need a bunch more Certainly. And friends with trucks.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:03:11
I need friends with trucks. So I like that human interaction. I love being in a deep and meaningful relationship with my wife and having a real connection there, like a soul connection, an emotional connection. And at times, you know, it's very difficult as well. But that's okay. That's okay. You know, that's life.
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:33
Yeah. How do we develop value? Right. But, you know, if something that's scarce or challenging, is high value, right?
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:03:40
Exactly. Yeah. And human interaction and our relationships is the most complicated thing that we do. Surely there's nothing more complex than our interactions with the people around us.
John Milham (Host) · 1:03:53
I think that's a great observation. I feel like that we've just opened up a whole new podcast, right? Because there's so much, an aspect of your life and the wisdom you've shared today. It's only a part of what, you know, like we have our relationships to explore, right? Our loss and our, you know, our parents that pass on and our friends and, you know, we have developed relationships, we lose and we win in that area. So there's a whole bunch of other stuff to talk about, but we've exhausted our allocation today, which has been amazing. Thank you so much for making the time for me and for Kintsugi Heroes and myself and all the listeners, mate, are just really blown away by the value you provided us today. Thanks, brother.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:04:41
Thank you. Those are very kind words, you know, and thank you for having me on your podcast. I hope there's something that can be taken from today's conversation.
John Milham (Host) · 1:04:52
No, mate, it's been gold. Appreciate your time. Christian Monson, thanks very much, mate.
Christian Mortensen (Guest) · 1:04:56
Thank you very much, John Miller.
John Milham (Host) · 1:05:01
Thank you for listening to this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Thank you to Colin Lilly for permission to use Broken as our theme music for this series. If you enjoyed this conversation, share the podcast with a friend and let us know by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to support Kintsugi Heroes and the stories we share, head to kintsugiheroes.com.au and follow the instructions to make a tax-deductible donation. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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