Kintsugi Heroes
John Milham · 57 min
After losing his childhood sweetheart to cancer and nearly losing himself to suicidal despair, John Milham rebuilt his identity from the ground up — becoming the father, man, and community helper he never knew he could be.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
For 40 years, John Milham built his life around someone else's strength. His wife Glenn held their partnership together while he learned what it meant to be a man. When she was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2006 and died a year later, John faced a truth he had been avoiding: he had no idea how to function as an adult, let alone raise three children alone.
What followed were years of operating on emergency backup. John sat on his deck overlooking Pittwater at 2, 3, 4 in the morning, smoking cigars and asking himself whether he wanted to stay alive. He wasn't afraid of dying so much as he was unsure he could keep living. What held him there was small and stubborn: a dislike of heights, and a refusal to let go of his own worth, even when everything else had fallen away. His three children needed him to prove he wasn't going anywhere. That became his anchor.
Slowly, his systems came back online. A panic attack at work two years after Glenn's death cracked something open. Through conversations with other parents, John discovered a language of emotional truth he had never spoken. He left corporate work. He explored faith and spirituality. He learned that the worst thing that ever happened to him had led to everything in his life he would never give up. Today, John works as an emotional warrior, holding space for people in their darkest moments because he knows what it looks like to sit with your own.
⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses grief & loss and suicide & self-harm prevention, which some listeners may find distressing.
If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au • GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au
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Kintsugi Heroes · Registered Australian not-for-profit · kintsugiheroes.com.au ↗