Monica Henderson · 45 min
From homeless single mother with $100 to her name to a globally recognised motivational speaker, Monica Henderson proves that a written vision and relentless action can rewrite even the most statistically bleak life story.
Hear this story
Monica Henderson sat in a spiritual centre for the first time, listening to a meditation about seeds and growth. The speaker described how an acorn must shed its shell to become an oak tree. As Monica visualised the life she wanted but had never allowed herself to want, she wept through the entire meditation. When she spoke the words "I am ready to be everything I am meant to be, come what may," something shifted. She left knowing her life had to change.
Within weeks, her car overheated on a rural highway with no public transport. Stranded and unable to work, Monica made a choice. She paid movers to take her and her two-year-old daughter back to her hometown, landing on a friend's couch with $100 to her name. When her friend suggested she give up on being self-employed and find regular work, Monica refused. Instead, she bought a notebook and pens from the 99 Cent Store and sat in the park every day, writing out exactly what she wanted: to be healthy, wealthy, and fulfilled. She wrote her story as if she was already living it, with specific details about the apartment, the neighbourhood, the life she envisioned.
Four years later, every detail came true. She found an affordable housing apartment for $750 a month in the exact neighbourhood she had named, one block from where she wanted to live. She met her husband. Her daughter thrived in the schools Monica had written down. Monica credits this not to luck, but to the hard work of showing up every day, doing her due diligence, and following the vision even when the path was unclear. Her childhood included abuse from age five to eleven, severe social anxiety, and poverty. Yet the love of her mother and brothers gave her something to hold onto. Now, Monica helps others see that hard times are not the point of the story. They are the breaking that allows something truer to be born.
“my life is not in vain if someone could learn from my experiences”
“I am ready to be everything I meant to be come what May”
“I'd rather be pulled by the vision”
The hero, today
Monica sat at the park with a notebook and asked herself three specific questions: what does it mean to be healthy, what does it mean to be wealthy, and what does it mean to be fulfilled, then wrote the detailed story of the life she wanted to live. When Monica found herself unable to afford the apartment she wanted in the neighbourhood she had named in her vision, she kept showing up, doing her due diligence, and the universe offered her an affordable housing building one block away at $750 a month instead of $2,300. Monica credits the love of her mother and brothers as the foundation that allowed her to overcome childhood abuse, social anxiety, and poverty, and says two things can be true at once: she experienced trauma and she experienced deep love. Monica says the reason hard work is necessary to reach the life you want is that you need to acclimate to each level of growth, the way a hiker's body adjusts to the altitude as they climb, or else you will black out when you arrive. When Monica heard her friend suggest she get a regular job, she felt her soul leave her body, and in that moment she chose instead to follow the vision that had moved her to tears, even though the path was unclear and she had almost no resources.
Yes. Monica Henderson is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Monica sat at the park with a notebook and asked herself three specific questions: what does it mean to be healthy, what does it mean to be wealthy, and what does it mean to be fulfilled, then wrote the detailed story of the life she wanted to live.
When Monica found herself unable to afford the apartment she wanted in the neighbourhood she had named in her vision, she kept showing up, doing her due diligence, and the universe offered her an affordable housing building one block away at $750 a month instead of $2,300.
Monica credits the love of her mother and brothers as the foundation that allowed her to overcome childhood abuse, social anxiety, and poverty, and says two things can be true at once: she experienced trauma and she experienced deep love.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 00:07
Welcome to the Kintsugi Heroes podcast, where we share inspirational stories of everyday people going through different challenges and how they overcome them. Please be aware that the story you're about to hear may have moments of deeply felt emotions and personal experiences. If anything you hear has a triggering effect please reach out to someone who can help keep you safe. If you love this conversation, we'd love you to like and share it with your friends so we can continue to share more inspiration and hope to as many people as possible. Now listen up for our next hero story. This episode with Monica Henderson was just really heartwarming. She was able to articulate a journey that began as a child in poverty and abuse, and there's a lot, a lot in this story that she brought out. She has an amazing ability to look at a situation and see it from a completely different perspective. And even when she found herself homeless with a 2-year-old daughter as a single mum, she managed to turn it around and set goals for herself to get out of it and know that her life could be whatever she envisioned it be. So it's a wonderful example of how we can turn things around and not stay stuck in the pain and the victimization. Today, Monica leads a lot of people in a community, a vision for a better future. She inspires people, she speaks, and she's really created a life that she can be proud of, but also her daughter is proud of as well. It's a lovely conversation with her, and I know you'll enjoy it as much as I did. This is Monica Henderson. Hello, and here we are. It is another episode of Kintsugi Heroes. I'm here with Monica Henderson today. How are you, Monica?
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 02:11
I'm doing fantastic. So happy to be able to do this with you.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 02:15
I'm so happy that you're with me. Can I ask, where are you calling in from? Where are you today?
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Monica says the reason hard work is necessary to reach the life you want is that you need to acclimate to each level of growth, the way a hiker's body adjusts to the altitude as they climb, or else you will black out when you arrive.
This conversation includes the cashmere sweater that doesn't fit, walking into agape international, michael bernard beckwith plants an acorn, i am ready to be everything i am meant to be, the car that quits on the freeway and down to the last hundred dollars.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 02:22
Not so sunny Los Angeles. It's been raining quite a bit lately, but I'm in Los Angeles, California. Right.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 02:33
Wonderful. Well, thank you. It's good to connect. This is all about your story of challenge or adversity. And I just want to first of all say thank you. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for, you know, giving of your time to share your story so that others may benefit from that. And it's a big thing. It's not always easy and it's very courageous. So I want to thank you.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 02:59
Yeah, you know, sharing my story is— my grandmother always said that if my life is not in vain, if someone could learn from my experiences. And so it is an honor to be able to share my story and Hopefully in hearing me and what I went through, that somebody can do this life just a little bit better, just 1% better, and, you know, make things better for themselves. So I'm honored that you invited me to, for this experience in the first place.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 03:32
Thank you, Monica. That's exactly why Kintsugi Heroes is here. That's why we do this. So, um, yeah, beautiful. All right. Well, this is about you and it's now time for me to pass the mic over to you and ask you to take us back to where your story begins.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 03:48
You know, when you asked me to share my story of adversity, the statement I had for you was, which one? And you said the first one. And I was like, that doesn't narrow it down any because, you know, my life— if I did not have a positive outlook on life, it would be kind of like a really, like a sob story, kind of like just violins all over. But that is not how I've been living, living my life, even though I've been through so much. Uh, but essentially there was this, this particular period of time where I was in this space where I was ready to grow. And I think we all kind of have that moment and we don't really realize that that's that moment, but it's that— it's like this moment where, you know, you kind of like your life and you kind of like what's happening in it and you feel like you're kind of making momentum, but something about it just doesn't feel absolutely right. Like that cashmere sweater that got put in the laundry, accidentally got dried, and it still looks like the cashmere sweater that you love so dearly. It's still your favorite color and it kind of has some softness, but when you put it on, it has a little bit of an itch to it and the sleeves don't fit right anymore. I was kind of in that space. I was, you know, living in a house with my, with my daughter. And I had decided, you know, I'm going to be an entrepreneur and like, I'm going to go full out. I'm going to do it. And I remember I was dating this guy who I kind of liked a little bit. And, you know, he was like, okay, I can see this. This is really nice. And so I was really starting to feel like I was coming into my own, but it, it still didn't feel bright. Like it didn't feel like, yes, this is everything. And so I remember asking, um, talking to the guy that I was dating at the time and I was like, hey, what's your spiritual practice? And he's like, oh, well, I don't really have a spiritual practice, but, uh, if I were to subscribe to some particular religion, uh, I would say this spiritual center that I go to is the closest to that. And I thought I was so cute. Oh God, I thought I was so cute. I was like, oh, well, we should totally go on a date there one time. That'd be so fun. And so I got all cute and, you know, makeup on, hair done, dress, the whole thing. And I meet him at his spiritual center. Uh, and the spiritual center, uh, you may or may not have heard of it before. It's called Agape International. And it's, uh, one of the authors of The Secret is the founder of this spiritual center here in Los Angeles, in Culver City. And so we go, and this is my first time, and I grew up really, really religious. So, uh, when I was coming up, I was in church 5 days a week. Uh, and when I decided that I was not going to, uh, subscribe to that particular religion because it wasn't my soul's language, it just didn't feel right. I just, I kind of opted out of organized religion, but I was on, I was going to this place because it was a date and there's this guy I kind of liked. And so I was like, okay, so I go in with him, we're standing in line and I'm noticing the line of people lining up to go into this church. And they're like, they look like the United Nations, right? They're like people of all different colors. And some were dressed up in suits, like corporate guys and others were in bohemian chic clothing. And I was like, wow, this is really interesting. Like none of these people match. They're not the same ethnicity, but they were all smiling and happy and they're going in and I walk into this sanctuary and I'm like, okay, this is interesting. And it has like all of these spiritual beings on the wall, but it's like not just, you know, Christ, like I was used to. There was like a picture of Buddha and there was like, you know, these, the Tree of Life and all these really interesting paintings all around the wall and the pulpit was more like a stadium setup where it had like all the bright lights and the whole thing. And I was like, this place is kind of cool and interesting. And so, um, we come in, we sit in the, we sit in this church and we're like about a third of the way back. And they ask for new members to stand up. And I, and he's like, well, or not new members, but visitors to stand up. And I was like, oh, no, thank you. That's the trap, right? Because that's what I was used to. Uh, we would ask visitors when I was growing up to stand up, and then that's where the indoctrination would happen, right? And so I was like, oh no, that's a trap. I'm not falling for that trap. I'm just going to sit here and mind my own business. And when it comes down to it, I am just going to sit here and watch what happens because, yeah, no, I'm not going to fall for that trap. So they welcome everyone. They sincerely, you know, thank them for coming and that they're welcome here. And I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever. Still cool. Still cute. Still, you know, I'm on a date, you know, with this guy. And so as I'm sitting there, the choir gets up and there is international choir and they're beautiful and they're singing all this amazing music. And I'm like, okay, I'm softening a little bit. I like the music here. The music is kind of nice and I like the lyrics. Those are kind of nice. And as I was sitting there, And Michael Bernard Beckwith got up and, and started talking, and he started like literally talking to my soul in a way that had me leave the space that I was in. And he was saying all the things that I had believed and all of the things that I had thought of. And he, then he started walking us through this meditation and this meditation was about how everything starts with a seed being planted, right? And in order for the seed to be planted and to grow, it has to shed its shell. It's, you know, if you think of an acorn and how that harder exterior, and he talked about how, you know, we walk through life kind of like protected in our shell, but sometimes we have to shed that shell. We have to become vulnerable. So that we could actually become the oak tree that we were going to be. And for some reason that resonated with my soul so much. And so he walked us through planting this, this acorn in, in our soul. And I imagined myself doing so. And then he started asking us, what does that oak tree life look like for you? And I got to see everything that I ever wanted, but was too scared I was too scared to tell us my truth. I had for years talked about, I never, ever, ever, ever want to get married, but it wasn't that. I just didn't want to be in an abusive relationship or a relationship that didn't serve my soul. I didn't want to be owned by anyone and I wanted to be a free spirit. Uh, he talked about being, you know, like I, I've always talked about, oh, I don't care about money. Money's not important to me. I don't need money. But really, I didn't want to be a person who was focused on getting money over people and connections. And as I was sitting there and visualizing the life that I had never allowed myself to actually want, I began to bawl. And when I say bawl, I don't mean like the cute, like, oh, Oh, it was an ugly, like, just tears, makeup running down my face, ball, right? And we're still in this meditation. And as we're in this meditation, he's like, OK, if this is what you want, you're going to say, I'm ready to be everything I'm supposed to be, come what may. And those were the magic words, really, I think. That was the trigger that had everything come. And so I said, I am ready to be everything I am meant to be, come what may. And came out of that meditation and remembered where I was and remembered that I was on a date and had a pretty good idea what my face looked like at that point. I was like, oh my gosh. And he asked me, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, no, it was beautiful. I had envisioned the entire world that I wanted to live in and I wasn't living it. I wasn't living it in that moment. And those magic words set some things in motion that I could not have fathomed or written for my life. But those magic words allowed me to kind of really step into my truth. And when I left there, I left there even more irritated with that sweater, right? That the life that I was living, the sleeves got just a bit shorter. The fibers got just a bit itchier and I really started to reflect on kind of like, well, is this an oak tree moment or is this an acorn moment? And I really started looking at those things. And as I was looking at those things, I felt like the universe was at work. So in this space where everything is kind of what I want, but not quite it. And I'm driving down the street. And at the time, just to give you a little context, I had decided that I was going to be an entrepreneur full-time. I was no longer going to take W-2 money. I'm just going to lean into this space. And so. I even got a tattoo, like, I'm never going back to work for anybody else, even though what the tattoo is neither here nor there. But at the time I thought I was like, you know, truly badass cuz I got a tattoo and yeah, I'm unemployable now. And so I am driving down the street to one of my clients, uh, on the, on the highway, out of nowhere, my car starts to overheat. And I mean, like, I've had you know, bucket cars before. I've had like cars that are just point A to point B cars before. And so, you know, if it starts to overheat, you kind of have some time knowing like, oh, it's getting warmer, it's getting warmer, it's getting hot. So you have a little time. In this particular case, I did— I had zero time. It went from completely okay to extremely overheating in a matter of seconds. I only had enough time to get over from the far lane in the freeway to the side of the road before my car just quit. And smoke's coming out of the hood, and I'm on the side of the freeway like, what is happening? The difficulty with my car overheating and why I think that was the universe working at play was where I lived at the time was in a rural community that had no public transportation. And all of the people that I was working with were at least 30 or 40 miles away. The grocery store, I had to have a car for. Everything about my life depended on a car. And so my car overheating was essentially like the needle in the— like, you know, the nail in the coffin. It was sealing my fate of like, girl, this ain't it. So I call a friend, they come and pick me up. I go sit at someone's house and I'm like, what am I going to do now? I need a car and I don't have any money. I just decided I was never going to go back to work again. I had about $800 to my name and I could either take that $800 and pay the next month's rent or I could do something different. And at that moment I was like, well, I have to move. So I took that $800 and I gave notice to my landlords. I packed everything up. I hired two guys from In Front of a— from a home repair place to come and, and move me back to my hometown where I could sleep on someone's couch. And have everything in the storage and figure out what me and my 2-year-old were going to do during this time because I was a single mom by choice, but still a single mom. And we got— I can't be in a place where I can't feed my child. And so that night when I laid on that rollout bed in the middle of my friend's living room, and now that I have paid people to move me out and paid for a storage, I'm down to the last $100 to my name. And all the clients that I had, because this was pre-Zoom, um, I had to go in person to work with. I had to call all of them and let them know I could no longer come in and do the work. I found myself in a place where I had nothing. I had absolutely nothing. And this was my bottom. How do you as a mom look at your child in the face and say, I can't support you, I can't help you, I can't I can't give you the basics of what you need. It was really kind of one of those, those points. And so as I'm talking to the friend the next day who let us stay on the couch, on, on this rollaway bed, she's like, okay, well, it was a nice try. You tried to be, you know, in business for yourself and that's great, but aren't you ready to hang that all up and just go get a regular job now?. And everything in me said, hell no, I'm not. I felt my soul leave my body a little bit when I, when I heard those words, go get a regular job, because I, that's not the Oaktree life that I dreamed of. And I saw in my vision that day when I was sitting in that church, that was just another means to an end. That was just another pain choice. You know, sometimes when we are struggling in life, we make decisions that'll have us struggle a little less. I call that being pushed by the pain, right? You make the decision because the pain said you had to. And at this point in my life, after having the full vision of what I really wanted for myself, I was— I'd rather be pulled by the vision, but that vision wasn't clear. It was like dream state clear. Like I knew what I was going for, but I didn't know what it was. And so I told a lie. I know, uh, it was a little white lie though. It wasn't that bad. Uh, so the, so I asked her, I said, hey, can you watch my daughter? I'm going to go look for jobs tomorrow. And what I did is I took a little bit more of that $100 and I went to the 99 Cent Store and I bought a pack of pens. And a notebook, and I said, I'm going to sit here and I'm going to figure this out. And I'm going to come back to this park every single day until I have the full vision created, mapped out, clear of what I'm going to do. And I'm not going to make any moves until I have that ready. Once I made that decision, I sat at that park and I started asking myself questions. What am I trying to achieve here? And I realized that there was really only 3 things that I really, really wanted. I wanted to finally be healthy. And it's not that I battled with physical pain in my body. I was a healthy, you know, dancer and athlete, all those things. So it wasn't that, but it was really about healthy relationships and the healing that comes with having to get over all of the trauma that you've had in your life and different things. And realizing that my decision to not want to ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be married came from me not healing from some of the the trauma from my own childhood. And when I really thought about it, I was like, not only do I want to be healthy in relationships, but I would like to see what it's like to be absolutely healthy as a, as a body, right? Like to have that full capacity of my body. And I don't know that I've ever tried before. I think I'd like to try that. And when I started making that decision, I was like, okay, that feels good. But what else do I want? You know, I thought, I don't ever want to be in this situation again where money is actor. Where money, the lack of money changes my trajectory in a negative way. I don't ever want to be here again. My daughter's 2. She'll never remember being sleeping on this rollaway bed. So this is the last time I have to be this kind of poor. From here on out, I have to be abundantly able to provide for my child. And so I think I want to be wealthy as well. That would feel good. And then when I thought about that statement of, you should just get a regular job, and how my, my soul literally leave my body, I thought I also kind of want both sides of my brains to be activated at all times. I want the analytical, very planned, organized side of my brain to, to get its fill. And I want the creative and free-flowing and amazing side of my brain to get fulfilled too. I want to be fulfilled. I don't want to just work. I don't want to just make money. And when I realized that those are the 3 things that I wanted, then it was time to ask myself some hard questions or actually some really stupid questions. Like, what the heck does health look like? What does that mean to be healthy? I say I want to be wealthy, but do I want to be wealthy? What does wealthy mean?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 21:05
What is it?
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 21:06
What does that look like to be wealthy? It's how much money is that? Like, what do wealthy people do or have that I, that I think I want and what actually fulfills me? And so I gave myself some time on another day when I came back to that park and I asked myself, I, I set a timer and I asked myself those questions, but like in detail. So I, I said, okay, I'm gonna set a timer and I'm gonna write as many questions as I have about each one of these three things. What is it? And stupid questions came up. What's a healthy weight? Which, you know, you think, you know, these answers, right? What's this? What does it mean to have a diversified portfolio? What am I good at that, like, makes me excited when I do it? All of those things were factors. And in the process, in the process of asking myself those questions, I then started visualizing the answers. I started seeing the answers. I started seeking out the answers. And in that process, I was able to identify exactly what I wanted. Sorry for the interruption.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 22:12
This is Ian Westmoreland, the founder of Katsuki Heroes, and thank you for listening to this story from one of our amazing heroes. Our mission is for these stories to provide hope and inspiration to people experiencing life challenges and to also educate the broader community on how best to provide support. If you would like to help us to continue to produce more hero stories and cover more adversity themes, we would welcome all donations. These can be made via our website, kintsugiheroes.com.au. The donate function is at the bottom of the home page. We'd also welcome any feedback. You can email me direct using ian@kintsugiheroes.com.au.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 22:55
Now let's get back to the story. Once I asked myself those questions, I decided that, you know what, I saw somewhere once that if you write it down and you write it down with great emotion, that sometimes those things come true. So I decided that I was going to write a story, and in writing that story, I was going to write the ending to my story. I don't know how I'm going to get there, but what does the ending look like? And as I started writing the ending to my story with great detail, down to the floor and direction of the apartment that I wanted to live in, in the city I wanted to live in, I gave the universe a direct location, a GPS location, where to put me. And over the course of a lot of work, really focusing on only doing things that were going to directly align to that vision, even if it means great discomfort, like commuting an hour and a half one way to be in the city that I want to be in, I was going to do that. And I did. And I consistently did that. And, you know, every single solitary piece of that, that period of my time was hard. It was absolutely hard, but I stuck through it. I surrounded myself with people who allowed me to nurture my vision of what I was going for myself and letting those who didn't get it, to love them from a distance. It's okay. You don't have to understand. It's fine. This is what I wanna do. Well, there's easier ways for you to do this. Yes, there are easier ways to do it. That doesn't fit the vision that I have for my life. And when I tell you that 4 years later, after sitting in that park, I had every detail of that vision story that I wrote in that park down to the floor and direction of the apartment that I moved into, the beautiful bald man with an athletic build that I wanted as a husband, the perfect, amazing birthday party that I was able to throw for my daughter in the park that I said I wanted to throw it in, and the beautiful schools that she got to go to, and the kinds of events that I wanted to go to. Every detail of the story that I had wrote in that park that day, I was able to live and look back on and go, "That's crazy how amazing that detail was." and how I'm actually living this dream. If I could take anything away from that journey, is that having the audacity to actually go bigger than yourself and to make that— like, just go balls out. I mean, you could be— it could be— it's going to be hard regardless, but it might as well be hard when you're working closer to your dream than hard and you still don't get anywhere closer to being happy. But every detail of everything that I was doing 4 years later was exactly where I wanted to be. And I continue to develop a new strategy even now of how I can have the next version of healthy, wealthy, and fulfilled in my life. Because if I'm not living healthy, wealthy, and fulfilled, then I'm not living, not fully anyway. And so that is how I was able to completely manifest the life that I wanted to live.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 26:36
Monica, I love the detail and the clarity that you have about the moments that these very pivotal moments in that journey. And I, I know from other conversations that there's probably a lot of things that have happened in your past, and you referred to this, you know, in the green room as well a little bit. I'd like, if that's okay, can you share with the, our listeners why it's such a big thing for you to have achieved that? Yes, because obviously you weren't set up with No. The ingredients for a successful, happy life.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 27:21
Yeah. For all intents and purposes, I should have been probably on the streets, homeless, on drugs, uh, based on my childhood. Statistically, I should have been a hooker or a drug dealer or hyped up on drugs. Um, I suffer and still kind of currently suffer from social anxiety. In the first 12 years of my life, I couldn't communicate with anyone outside of my family without having a panic attack, um, that left me in a space where I was victimized and, um, mentally, physically, and sexually abused. Not just me, but my entire, my entire family from the time I was 5 to the time I was 11. Uh, which that alone is its own set of trials and tribulations to come over. I was never handed, you know, a hand up or a hand out financially. So I've always been kind of a fighter in getting my own. And it wasn't for— if it wasn't for the love that my mother and my brothers had for me and my mom's strength, even though she was going through her own set of abuses, but her ability to kind of encourage us to— that there is no ceiling. There is like, we— there are stereotypes. That doesn't mean it has to be you. There are statistics, but that doesn't mean it has to be you. Um, I don't know that I would've had the strength to be able to kind of overcome all of that. Um, I put myself through college, didn't finish, uh, didn't finish college, but put my, you know, paid for all of the college that I went to. I've always been on my own. I'm the oldest. Child of a teenage mother. So there was just so many things that like, that other people would look at and say, wow, like you should not be here in this space. I, I, I believe that I went through all of that for a purpose. I went through all of that because I can empathize and I can understand and translate how to get to the other side. I can be a lighthouse. For other people who are going through the darkness. Because in the end, people can say to me, it's so hard. And I'd be like, I know.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 29:47
I know.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 29:48
I've been there. I know what hard feels like. I know what it's like to be dirt broke. I know what it's like to fall from great heights. I know what it's like to be a single mom and schlepping and it being hard. I know what it's like to also be in a relationship and co-parenting with someone and having to battle Through those conversations, I've been able to live in a duality in my life. And I believe that all of that, every time I go through anything, it's so that I can have a better understanding of what someone else is going through. So when it's time for me to comfort them, that I have a true knowing of what it's like to be in that space and that I can give them some light in that darkness. So. I've been through. Yeah, you name it.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 30:35
Absolutely. Uh, yeah. And, and yeah, there's hours of, of stories there we don't need to go into.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 30:40
Yeah.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 30:41
And I think, you know, the way you summarize that is, is really perfect. It's interesting you said if it wasn't for the love of your mother and your brothers, and, and, uh, I'm always fascinated by this foundational love and support that children have as they go through tough times and adversity. And not just children, as we move into our teenage years and adulthood, there's the people that have this foundational love and support are the ones that seems to be that they've, they've got something to sit on to, to— yeah, I know that they will be carried. They know they can fall and still be loved and, and, and wanted and Supported, and I think that's what I continually hear in these conversations and what I see. So you're very blessed to have that.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 31:33
Absolutely.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 31:34
Really?
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 31:34
Absolutely. Yeah. My statement is always two things can be true at exactly the same time. I could have an absolutely traumatic childhood that no child should ever have to go through, and at the exact same time have one of the best childhoods that every child should experience. And those two things are true and it doesn't cancel out one or the other. And I think if we could all live in that space more often of two things are true at the same time, I am loved, I am having amazing relationships, and I'm also in a shitty situation. If we could live in those two places at exactly the same time, we are going to be golden.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 32:14
There's a lot there. Just in that. Yeah. Yeah. As you were transitioning from the, the, the moment that you, that you got your friend to look after your daughter, you went to the, you started writing out the vision of your future and you said it took you 4 years. Yes. What, what kept you going during that time?
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 32:38
Um, the vision, the vision that, um, I was meditating On every day, I would go back to that acorn and I would nurture that acorn. I would like pick the weeds out. So if I had any negative thoughts or if I had any like feelings of like bad feelings, I would like, I would like use, like pretend like it was litter that I was removing. And I was watching every, every move that I make. I was watching that tree grow within me. And even now when I go into my meditation, it is a giant, beautiful multicolored oak tree that I sit in front of. That I, that I grew myself from that acorn. And, uh, it is ever evolving and, uh, it gives me comfort and it is my friend.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 33:22
I love the vision of you having that oak tree and your daily meditation. How, yeah, just so powerful that you had that burning desire. You had the meditation, you had the acorn planted, you knew what the oak tree look like, and it, and it pulls you forward. Did you have moments of doubt? Did you fall down at any time in those 4 years thinking, I can't do this?
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 33:45
That, so that's kind of loaded because I did have moments of doubt and I did have, and it was hard. Um, if anyone tells you that their journey to exactly what they want to be is easy, they're, they're full of crap, right? It, there is, there is no easy path. To getting everything you want. It always comes with work. But I think the reason why it always comes with work is because what you think is like the higher ground, if you don't go through the path, you don't get acclimated to each level of, of new growth, right? Like you don't get acclimated to the air in that space. And so if I were to pluck you up from the valley right now and put you right on top of a hilltop, If you didn't go through the journey of going up that hill and getting adjusted to the less air, the less air, the less air, when you get up there, you'll black out. You'll just lose. And I think that was the case. And I tell people a lot that when you reach success that's meant to be yours, it feels normal when you get there and you're almost kind of let down, like a little bit like, I thought this was going to be more exciting because because every step of the way I was there for the journey, right? Like I was there for the ups and the downs. I was there for the months that I was like, "Oh no, am I gonna make the rent this month?" Or, "Whew, finally made it," right? I was there for all of that. And so, every time I had a ceiling, that became my new floor, right? And so, I would hit a space and I'd be like, "Oh, it'd be really nice if I could get here." And then when I got there, it was like, Okay, this is the worst time of my life, right? But it wasn't. The worst time of my life was way before then, right? But each time as I was going through something, my previous ceiling was my new floor, and it always felt normal. And so, you know, I say that to people because I want you to understand that whatever you're feeling right now, you're going to feel later, whatever insecurities you have now, you're going to have those same insecurities later if you don't do the work. It's just going to be in a different place and you might have more to lose in not having that work through. And so for me, as I was going through the journey and being really appreciative, and the more that I stepped out on faith, the more the universe met me there, right? So I would say, okay, I need to, you know, when I was looking for my apartment, I couldn't afford it. I couldn't afford to move. There was nothing about my scenario that was like, yeah, girl, go ahead and get that. You got your money saved up. There was none. There was none. But I said I was going to live in this neighborhood no matter what, because this was where— this was where I said I was going to be in my vision story. So this is where I have to look for my apartment. And I looked at all of them and I was scared half the time. Walk in, they— they quote how much the rent was, and I'd be like, uh, I don't think I, I don't even make that in a whole month. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but it's okay, whatever. Just do my due diligence. And I remember when I found my apartment, it was because I was doing what I was supposed to do. I had to, I had to relocate my daughter to another, uh, childcare facility that was closer to work because that way I could spend more time with her. And that was really kind of the catalyst behind it. And when I walked in that building and, you know, got her into that daycare, and it was like on my path to work, so we'd get off the bus and then we'd walk past it. I was like, oh, well, this is perfect because this will set me up. And then one day while she was in, I was dropping her off. I was like, what's in this building? They're like apartments. And it turns out that those apartments were affordable housing and they were tax credit. And it was in the exact neighborhood, one block from the actual building I wanted to live in, that same apartment that would have cost me $2,300 a month, I was able to get in this building for $750 a month, right? But it's because I was doing my due diligence, right? And I was supposed to be on this— when I went in and talked to them, they were like, oh, here's the waiting list. And they pointed to a wall with binders on it, big thick binders. And like, this is the waiting list, but we're new management and we don't know if we have to go through that whole waiting list first or if we can start with our own. So put your name on this piece of paper right here. And I was number 2 on that piece of paper. And then they found out we don't have to go through this. We're going to start with our list. So I was second in line, right? So the universe was meeting me where I was because I was doing my due diligence. I was like, even if it looked bleak, even if I didn't have the resources, even if I didn't know what the next step was, I was still putting it out there. And I feel like if you do what you're supposed to do, the universe will always meet you there. But if you're not doing that, right, like, it's like, if you don't even get off your couch, it is impossible for you to feed yourself, right? You have to get off your couch and then the possibilities open up, right? And so I just kept doing what I needed to do. I just kept doing, I don't know where the resources are going to come from. I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford to do this, but I'm just going to keep showing up in that way. And there are so many instances in my life where I can say, I just showed up. Looking, seeking, and being available for the possibilities. And I was gifted something that could— I couldn't have written it better myself. Like, I couldn't have— if I were a writer for a great TV show, I could not have written my story better. And that was because I showed up and I did all the uncomfortable things and I put myself out there and I was in fear a lot of the time, but I always say, Feel the fear and do it anyway. Yeah, the fear is going to be there. I mean, that's how I was able to get over the social anxiety. I want to die every time I talk to a stranger, but feel the fear and do it anyway. And you'll be surprised what, what the world opens up for you and how the universe supports you in that effort. And I was able to, by happenstance, get everything that I wanted, but it was because I was following that vision. I was being pulled by the vision. And in that process, the universe Christ met me there.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 39:57
That's so encouraging. It's inspiring. And, you know, I think you've said it a couple of times. It's hard work. It's not, it's, it's not a joyride. It's not like this magical carpet ride up the mountain. You don't just land there. You've actually got to trudge through the forest. Yeah. Sometimes without a, without a worn path to go on.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 40:19
No, no. It was like, go through those trees, those trees, those trees, but those. But there's a path here. No, no, no, that's not your way. Those trees. And you didn't know that when you were going through those trees that you would find a particular branch that you needed in order to get through a particular rocky part of your life. You don't know that. You just gotta follow the— you gotta follow through and just keep showing up.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 40:43
Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. I mean, I love everything that you've said and hopefully our listeners have taken a lot from your story and It's a, it's a story of encouragement through adversity.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 40:56
Yeah.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 40:57
You know, it was perfect in so many ways. If there is someone listening who is going through that adversity, if they have, you know, have had a rocky period, if they are sitting there with, you know, the cards aren't stacked in their favor and they're like, how do I get out of this? This is really tough. Maybe they can relate to your situation of sleeping on a friend's floor and all of that. Is there any, anything you'd like to say to them now? Um, just to, ah, as a gift.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 41:31
Yeah. You know, um, what I would like to say to them is that you were put in this particular difficult position because you were meant for greater, and this is the universe pushing you out of the nest. Getting you out of your comfort zone because everything must fall apart first so that it can be put back together better, right? And sometimes we try to hold on to a life like, oh, but if we could keep the pieces together, if we could just not fall apart, but it's okay. Sometimes we just need to let it fall apart so that we can let the parts that don't belong to us fall away. And only keep the parts that really belong in our lives. And we can put that together with other beautiful parts that we don't have together. And, and, and eventually it becomes a beautiful mosaic that tells a completely different story. Uh, but just remember that this moment when you're sitting in this pain and you're sitting in the uncertainty of where your life is right now, don't necessarily try to change this moment, but more ask yourself, What is trying to be birthed in this space? What kind of oak tree is trying to come out of my acorn falling apart? And what does that scary, beautiful, amazing life that makes you have the ugly cry when you look at it, like when you see it, it, when you face it, that like, oh my God, if that's my life, ah, ugly cry, right? What, what, what is that? And, and how is that trying to come forward in my life right now? And it may be telling you, telling you that the people you're surrounding yourself need to be different. It may be telling you that the place, the literal place that you're in at the moment is not where you're supposed to be. But just follow that because that's going to take you to exactly where you need to be. And if you can continue to follow that, you will be just fine.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:24
Thank you. It's just beautiful. Really beautiful. Thank you, Monica. I have, I've enjoyed listening to your story and I'm really grateful. Beautiful. It's, uh, yeah.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 43:36
Thank you for having me and letting me share.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:38
You're very, very welcome. I look forward to being in touch with you very soon. Have a wonderful day.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 43:44
You too.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:50
We hope you've enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Please like and share the show to your friends so we can get this out to even more people. If you have a story you'd like to share with us, please reach out using the contact details below. And join us next week for our next hero's story. Until then, keep being you, and remember that we are all heroes in our own unique way.
Monica Henderson (Guest) · 44:17
Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. When it hits you in the middle of the night and the truth burns so bright, only when it's broken, only when it's broken. Take pride in those cries, it's only for tonight, and then you Rise only when you're broken. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
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