Is this a true story?

Yes. Mandy Alexis is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.

What organisation produced this?

Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.

What did Mandy Alexis learn from this experience?

Mandy stayed in addiction for 16 years while appearing successful to the outside world because she refused to admit she was addicted, thinking she could stop whenever she wanted.

What would Mandy Alexis want listeners to know?

The subconscious mind drives 95% of our reality, and until Mandy aligned what young Mandy saw in her father with what adult Mandy consciously believed about love and relationships, she kept repeating unhealthy patterns.

What helped Mandy Alexis most along the way?

Mandy found that she could not have gotten sober alone; she needed her best friend's patience and understanding when she was emotionally unstable and her boyfriend's steady presence to show her what healthy love looked like.

What would Mandy Alexis tell someone going through something similar?

When Mandy reframed a totaled car as an opportunity to be grateful for her brother's help, her insurance, and a new car instead of focusing on stress, she realized gratitude changes how we experience everything.

What topics does this episode cover?

This conversation includes starting young, the functioning addict, the breaking point, finding community as first step, understanding what drugs do and rewiring the mind.

Transcending Drug Addiction & Finding Success in Community with Mandy Alexis

Kintsugi Studio

Transcending Drug Addiction & Finding Success in Community with Mandy Alexis | Kintsugi Heroes Stories

Overview

For sixteen years, Mandy Alexis appeared to have it all together. She'd graduated with honours, started multiple businesses, volunteered regularly, and showed up for family events. What no one saw was the cocaine addiction that had taken hold since she was nineteen, or the drug dealing that funded her lavish lifestyle. She lived in high-rise apartments, travelled constantly, and threw parties that lasted days. On the outside, she was winning. Inside, she was trapped.

The shift came after a painful breakup with a mentally abusive partner. Mandy realised she needed to become a different person to attract the life she actually wanted. She joined an online community focused on daily motivational posts and gradually began to distance herself from the friends who only partied with her. As her mind cleared, she studied neuroscience and addiction, learning that the physical pain of withdrawal was a sign of healing, not failure. She worked with Dr. Joe Dispenza's techniques to rewire how her brain thought about drugs, herself, and her future. But the deeper work came when she traced her drug use back to its roots: a violent, absent father whose rage and destruction had made a twelve-year-old girl desperate to escape her own reality.

By the one-year mark, Mandy knew she would not go back. Her best friend's patience and understanding during her emotional instability, and her boyfriend's example of healthy love, showed her what genuine connection felt like. She spent time in Costa Rica discovering who Mandy actually was outside of cocaine and alcohol. Today, she goes to concerts and dances until 2 a.m. without needing anything to numb or hide. She's broken her family's generational cycle of addiction and unhealthy patterns. Her message to anyone still caught in the trap is simple: you have the power to change. One small step is enough to begin.

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available: • SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au • ReachOut: au.reachout.com

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The functioning addict

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 03:15

Yes. So basically, my story begins with starting to use drugs and alcohol at a very young age. So I was 12 when I first started, or first tried marijuana. And like shortly after that, like 14 years old, me and my friend group threw in, you know, mushrooms, acid, drinking by 16, like ecstasy was thrown in the mix. All along, still drinking with all this. And then 19 years old came along, and I tried cocaine for the first time. And then I was hooked. I was actually a functioning cocaine addict for 16 years. And so now I'm gonna be moving into my 4th year of being clean from that. So basically, I wanted to share with the world with the listeners, how I went from, from there to here, you know, I'm, I've been on my healing journey, I would say I'm recovered now, like, there's this stage where you go through recovery of any addiction, whether it be alcohol, drugs, you know, but I feel I am recovered from that. And I am very much deep into like my healing journey, which is the, what I feel is like the more important part of someone staying clean, staying away from those addictions, creating the life that they truly desire, right? So it was, you know, a pretty wild journey for me because I never would admit I was addicted. I was like, "Oh, I can stop whenever I want, right? This is just part of my life." And, you know, a part of my life turned into 16 years, which is pretty intense. And like, I did try to quit a few times prior to that. And then I'd go like a month or two and be pretty proud of myself. And then, you know, an opportunity would come along and I'd be like, oh, I did so well, let's get back into it. And then there's another year of my life, right? And like, it wasn't until I really was like looking at what my life was based on, you know, I mean, I'll just like back up a little bit in the sense of like the functioning part to the outside world, you would— that they would think that I was doing very well. I had graduated with honors. I had, like, opened up a couple different businesses throughout this time. I was volunteering, always going to the family functions. But what they didn't see was what internally I was struggling with, and mentally too. And basically what had happened is I, one day, I'm just like, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of, like, myself and the relationships I was attracting and the way that my brain worked and, you know, just how unhealthy everything about me was and my, like, outside world, right? What, like, what I was attracting from my outside world when it came to relationships and just all these, like, added stresses and dramas and, like, freakouts and anxiety based on what I was doing to my, to my brain and my body by using cocaine. Consistently, right? So it happened in stages. My, my, like, okay, first I, my big aha moment of like, I need this to be done was a breakup. My, I was with this guy, he was extremely unhealthy, very mentally abusive, never physically, but like when that relationship ended, it was really a big like, okay, is this the kind of man that I want to attract? Kind of life that I want and the love that I want. And I knew that I needed to change as a person in order to attract like that kind of love into my life. So that was my first big moment. And I really started looking at what I could do to change. And I found community was one where one of our big things that we were supposed to do every day was post inspiring things on, on in this Facebook group. So originally it was find like a pretty picture and then post like a firing message on top of it, right? So I started off where I would just take a picture of my cabin lake and it would say, own your happiness, you know? And then as I started to become more sober, like from the drugs and stuff, I noticed I had like a gift of seeing some like beauty in the world. And then I was able to actually create my own motivational memes which, um, I now— like, I've sold at wellness events and addiction fairs and things like that, like, to help other people see, like, the other side of, of what life can be. And so that was, like, my first step in really finding something different when it came to how I was living my life, right? Because I had these friends that were great friends for many reasons, but like, we all we did was party together, right? So it was having to take a real hard look at my life and have real hard conversations with people and say, like, you know, I can't do this anymore, which is very challenging for— what was very challenging conversation to have, right? Like, people that you're, you're intertwined with, like, for, for years and stuff. So, um, that's something that anyone who's in addiction is going to have to face are these moments of having hard conversations. But I think it's important for them to understand that there is another community out there for them, right? Because it is hard to be alone on this journey. So I just want to just enforce that, that there are many people out there who are also looking for that deeper connection, for that guidance, for that help to be able to stay stay on a clean path, right? So those were some big steps that I took in the beginning. And once my mind started to clear and I welcomed new things into my life, um, I actually started learning about the addiction and what it was doing to my body, what it was doing to my brain. I wanted to be able to understand, like, what, um, um, what I was going to go through so that I wouldn't panic, right? Because there was times where my brain would literally feel like it was on fire, and I knew what would take that away. But I also knew that this pain meant I was healing. So to understand that fact really, I think, helped me like move through the pain. Then I started learning about the mind and reconditioning. So I'm not sure if you or your listeners are familiar with Dr. Joe Dispenza. That he talks all about rewiring the brain. And I dove into his Rewired, uh, course. Um, I literally listened to it over and over and over again because also understanding the mind and the subconscious, the more you listen to something, the more it becomes wired into your brain. So I used his practices a lot to be able to recondition how my brain would think around drugs, around myself, around my life. And that was a huge, huge help with like, I think, pushing my, my recovery faster, was actually taking account of what my brain needed to recondition around what had been my life for so long. You know, then really, I started diving into the deeper work. I'm not sure if you know this either, but the head and the heart both hold memory. Right? So if you're only healing one area, you're more likely to fall backwards into like your old patterns, your old traumas and things like that. You need to be able to heal both areas. So then I started looking at what was caused— what pain in my heart, what like was I holding, what memories were I holding in my heart that what like made me go down that route? Like why at 12 did 12-year-old Mandy think she needed to start smoking smoking weed? And why did 14-year-old Mandy want to take psychedelics to escape her reality, right? And in those moments, like, as a 14-year-old, I was like, I just want to try it. I just want to experiment, like, oh, it's fun, fun, fun. But there is a deeper root, like, I needed to keep getting harder and farther away from my reality without knowing it then. But now looking back, I can see that. So I looked at my life. I had alcoholic father. He was in and out of my life, very absent. He was violent. He never was violent towards me, but he would break things, punch walls, like make holes in walls and yell and, you know, very, very destructive. And how can a young child feel safe? So of course, she's going to want to escape her reality, right? So once I was able to face these traumas and really look at what started my road down, like, me down this road, I was able to, to do the deep work and really let go of even a bigger part of who that Mandy was and why that Mandy went down that road. And honestly, like, once you can look at those things together, you can change. You can change everything completely. Like, my life is so different. Everything operates different. This monkey mind that I used to have, all these wild thoughts and like really just wanting to shut it up, like it's not there anymore. Like, you know, and I feel a lot lighter in my body now. Like, it's just, it's just, it's, it's so incredible how powerful we are as humans. And if we could just take control and do the work and, and in steps, you know, like I've done a lot of steps, but not all at once. And I just, yeah, I just, I want people to see that change on any caliber is so possible. And we can just keep evolving and keep empowering and keep getting to that, those stages of creating life the way we want it to be. So yes, so that is kind of the big realm of, uh, of my story.

Rewiring the mind

Aveline Clark (Host) · 13:40

Wow. Yeah, thank you. Um, it was funny because one of the questions as you were talking, I think you, you answered— well, you started to answer and you, you did that quite well, which was what was—

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 13:50

did you—

Aveline Clark (Host) · 13:50

had you figured out what that— the root underlying cause of the 12-year-old, um, you know, seeking the drugs to begin with? The marijuana and then moving on from there. And like you said, it was— you were numbing yourself, escaping from, you know, the, the family, this environment, this, yeah, around you or what you've grown up with. And that makes sense. And, you know, I— it's, it's very common, you know. And I think what your story has already started to show is the impact of our environments as young children and what we take on. And yeah, how for so long we can be reacting to that and numbing ourselves without even knowing it. And we do that in different ways. Yours happen to be through the drugs, and other people's can be other ways as well. And this is what addiction— addiction is. It is a conditioning, isn't it? It's a numbing, it's a soothing, it's How can I escape from feeling this pain?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 14:57

Yeah. And like, I've actually just more recently— well, I've been for many years now, but even more so in the last maybe few months, really digging deep into understanding the subconscious mind. So I have known for years now that from like 0 to 7, your brain is literally a sponge. So you are just taking it in, right? And It's, it's pretty intense to think that, like, so our subconscious, our subconscious mind is like driving 95% of our reality, but yet we are not conscious of what our subconscious mind is like thinking. We're not thinking in our subconscious mind, right? And it's only 5% of our conscious mind. So even me today, this, like, I'm very conscious about what I think love is, right? What a healthy family should be like, what a man should— how a man should treat a lady, and how a lady should, like, treat a man. Consciously, I know this. Subconsciously, little Mandy saw not the things that conscious Mandy believes. So now it's, it's digging in and combining so that your subconscious is caught up with your conscious mind, right? And once people start doing that work as well, it's pretty incredible, like, what our realities will create, because until we're really aware too of like all of these things, like we are just going to be in a loop. And I mean, I was in it for years, 16 years. I was like, yeah, this is it. This is what you do with it. This is how I get through life. This is life. Like, and I— it's wild because there is a part of us that knows there's better because I remember feeling like there's got to be more. But I was like, but this is it, right? But there's that thing in you, like your soul, let's say, that's telling you like there's more. And I've had conversations actually with different people, and one was a 12-year-old boy. And I asked him, are you happy? And he said to me, I don't know what happy feels like. And then I said, well, do you like how you feel right now? Like in life? And he said no. And I said, well, that's the start. You know, you don't like how you feel right now. So now it's how do we change this feeling, even though he couldn't tell me what happy felt like based on whatever he was growing up in. But he knew that he didn't like how he felt. So that was step one, knowing that, and now working from that point. Well, you don't like this. Okay, so now what do we do to change it? You know, so that's in— it was just wild to me like that, like, at 12, first of all, he was very unhappy, but also that he was aware, he just needed someone to point it out to him. And so, you know, having conversations about yourself is, is also going to help awaken you into a journey of, of unbelievableness, limitlessness, right? Like, yeah.

Looking back at why a child started

Aveline Clark (Host) · 17:54

Do you have siblings?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 17:57

I do. I have a lot of family.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 18:00

And were they also impacted by the home environment?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 18:05

Yes, very much so. Um, my, my brother, it's very sad. Like, his whole life he's like, I don't want to end up like Dad, I don't want to end up like Dad, and he ended up like Dad. He's an alcoholic. He's like not in a great relationship. He doesn't treat her the best. Um, you know, it's very, very unhealthy, these two. Like, he's unhealthy. Like, he's, he's younger than me and he looks like he's probably 10, 15 years older than me because of like his lifestyle choices. And just the way his brain works in the sense of like the negativity. Like, you know, everything's connected. And so the way he thinks is destroying his body as well, not— and then add on the alcohol abuse. And it's very, very sad because I tried and obviously, you know, being my brother, I love him and I wanted him to come on this journey with me, but he, he either— I don't know if he feels he's not worthy or if he's just too deep in it. Like, I'm sure there's a combination of reasons why people do not choose this to heal, um, but I also think that you need, you need to want it, obviously, right? And yeah, it's, uh, it, it doesn't start off easy, but it definitely gets way easier. And so just getting through those humps, like anything, right? Like, you just need to get over that first big hurdle, and there will be more, but it's just, I swear there's just one big one, right? But yeah, so my brother was very much impacted. My dad was way meaner to my brother verbally, like put him down all the time. And then I have an older sister too, also affected. We could just see it. We all know, we've talked about the effects that they've had. I don't know why it was me that is the one chosen to go this way. I guess there needs to be one to break the generational cycles in each family, and then I chose to take that journey. Sorry for the interruption. This is Ian Westmoreland, the founder of Kintsugi Heroes, and thank you for listening to this story from one of our amazing heroes. Our mission is for the We share these stories to provide hope and inspiration to people experiencing life challenges and to also educate the broader community on how best to provide support. If you would like to help us to continue to produce more hero stories and cover more adversity themes, we would welcome all donations. These can be made via our website kitsukiheroes.com.au. The donate function is at the bottom of the home page.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 20:46

Page.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 20:47

We'd also welcome any feedback. You can email me direct using ian@kintsugiheroes.com.au. Now let's get back to the story.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 21:01

Have you been really open, or have you shared the, the, the journey, I guess, from the point that you realized you needed to end the addiction and break free? Have you shared that with your family? And close? Yeah.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 21:18

So at the beginning, I, at the beginning, I was very like, did it on my own. I didn't tell anyone. Like, obviously my friends knew. And like, because, you know, I had to have talks with many of them. And I actually had to change where I was living based on like that choice and stuff. But anyways, yeah. And then my siblings knew, because I would, like, you know, drink with them and stuff. And they would know that I was into stuff. And so they knew. And then it wasn't probably till like a year in where I felt like I had really done a good job that I like let my mom know and started to be more open about it with other family members. And then it was about 2 and a bit years that I was like, I want to share. And it was when I did my first podcast, I guess a year ago now. And so getting on there and like literally exposing my entire life that where so many people thought I had it all together. And like, I was fine. And like, you know, just really like exposing all the, all the ways like, like, I actually was even a drug dealer for 5 years to have to just pay for my habit. I lived a very lavish life. I made up stories that my boyfriend was like, just really well off and didn't want me to work. You know, and so I had this whole other thing going and then exposing all these truths and like who I actually was. And but by the time I did that, I was so proud of who I'd become that I was okay with sharing who I was. But obviously, when I was in the moment of who I was, I was not going to share someone I was ashamed of, right?

Letting go of the lavish life

Aveline Clark (Host) · 22:59

So was it difficult Like you just mentioned, the 5 years of dealing drugs to pay for the habit and having this lifestyle. I could imagine the world that you lived in. Was it hard to shift out of that?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 23:16

Yes and no. It was like I had decided I wanted to open a business. And so I knew that I did not want my drug dealing and my business to be intertwined because I had seen enough movies. I know that is not good, right? And so, but letting go of that life, like never having to worry about money, like always having a good time, because like obviously that good time led to very, very low moments, very, very just like just destroying ourselves moments. But it was challenging because I had been so used to that, right? And letting go of the money and the ease and the like no responsibilities to a degree and all this kind of stuff. So yeah, like it took me a while to get used to like, not spending money the way I was spending money and not going like, like we used to just party for days, sometimes like 2, 3 days in a row, we would just keep going. And because I was trying to already start and create this other part of my life, like, I did slow down with the partying. But like, definitely, like, there were moments where I was like, oh, just be so much easier just to go back to that life. But like I said, there was this thing in me speaking, you want better, you want better, right? So even I was trying to progress my life on the outside, like I was still like destroying internally, right?

Aveline Clark (Host) · 24:41

You've mentioned this inner voice a little bit, and it sounds to me like the inner voice won out. It was, it was spoke louder than that maybe the darker voice inside that went, come back, come back to the couch, you know. Whereas the other voice was louder and more persistent, or at least that you listened to that. Talk to me about that a little bit.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 25:04

Yes, my— that inner voice that wanted more, wanted better, definitely has always been there and always been loud enough for me to, to still progress in some, right? Um, I'm not sure if it's just because of how I saw my family, like, from a very young age, right? Like, very unhealthy habits in a lot of ways, just the way my dad was, treated my mom, you know, so many, like, failed marriages, so many unhappy people. Like, I don't know, like, if that part of my subconscious mind that I saw that stuff was like, nope, that's not going to be you. Nope, that's not going to be you, right? So I just knew. I could just feel that there was always something better for me. And even though, you know, because I'm human and because of what I went through, I went down this very, you know, this crazy path to get to me finally actually doing all the big work to get what was better. I did finally get there. And but that voice was always there because it could have been a lot worse. Like, I, you know, I've had friends that went in another direction, and they, they were like addicted to like crack and like meth, and their lifestyles are very low, like in the sense of where, like, you know, dirty places they're hanging out with, like really like, like just different. Like my, like, cocaine lifestyle I was living in a high rise, we were going on trips, like we hung out with people that had like, you know, we're all getting paid thousands and thousands of dollars a day. Like it was just interesting how like, that was the roach. There was like still something in me that was like, you need to do better, even if it's, you know, not the best way to be doing better. But yeah, so, but seeing some of my friends go through that, like also was a good like awakening to me because it's like, this could flip at any moment, Andy. This could flip at any moment, right? So it— I still had that awareness where I was like, okay, like, this can't continue forever, you know?

Aveline Clark (Host) · 27:24

Um, did you always have a, a, that inner belief that you would be able to make the change that was needed?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 27:36

Yeah, so I always believed I would be able to until there was that moment where I wasn't doing it. Like, you know, like I always just thought I'd be able to just stop. I'd just be able to stop. And it wasn't that easy. But my fight was definitely stronger than the weakness, I guess, of going back. Like, I would fumble. Like, my first Like, I tried to stop before, and like I said, I would go like a few months or whatever, right? And then I'd fumble back. But one thing I made sure to do was hold myself accountable, which I think is very important message too for people. Like, I wasn't hating on myself, but I was holding myself accountable.

Holding herself accountable

Aveline Clark (Host) · 28:22

I would—

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 28:22

because I would— friends would say to me, oh, it's okay, it was just the one time. And I was like, no, it's not okay. Because if I let it be okay, then I'm just going to keep doing it. So I'm like, not okay. Like, I'll admit I fucked up, like, but I don't want this. And I'm going to like, re— I journal about it, I would cry about it, I would get all the emotions out surrounding it. But I would tell myself like, no, like, you can do better, you know. And I literally talked to myself all the time. I would listen to motivational speakers. I put on affirmations at night that told me I was strong, that told me like, you know, to keep going and things like that. Because like those words, even though I'm going to bed, it's probably one of the better times to listen to meditations, affirmations. It's getting in there. So I did everything possible to make sure I was a success because I just knew I needed out. And it wasn't as simple as I thought it was going to be, but I was— I wasn't going down without a fight. And that fight got me to where I am today.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 29:21

It's wonderful. And Did you have a network of people or a small group of people, or do you think that it was— it sounds like you're just really independent and very strong within yourself. It's very clear that's who you are as a person. But I'm wondering, did you have others that you reached out to, that you relied upon, or that helped you in that, in that journey?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 29:47

Yes, yes, yes. As independent I am, definitely could not have done this without community. My boyfriend at the time, he was like, so he didn't party or do drugs. Me and him met while I was going through my journey and he knew everything about me. And it was actually part, the way he loved me was part of what made it like me be able to also continue on this journey. And he was very much a support. And then like, but my best friend who's still my best friend today, she was the biggest support. Like, she— I was going through so much mentally and emotionally. And I swear, I was like, I was at— I was like bipolar. And I didn't understand the world without drugs. I also discovered I was very much an empath. And so just feeling all these things for the first time, and her and I lived together through like, I think it was like coming into the first year like, I was just a year in kind of thing. And we worked together. So, and she was so understanding and so patient and so kind because, like, I was like lost in the sense of like not understanding like what I was feeling and what I was going through. And like, if I didn't have her to be so understanding and love me so much, because I was a lot. I was a lot because I was going through a lot. But she never once was like, no, I can't do this. Like, get out. Like, she was like, what do you need? How can I help you? Let me hug you. Like, what will make this better? And was— oh, I'm gonna cry. Like, it was like, so, so, so special. Because so you do definitely need people you can lean on. It's not a journey I would recommend doing on your own because We're human and we need connection, but you don't need a lot. You need a few good people who will just be there, and, and you can do it.

The people who stayed

Aveline Clark (Host) · 31:53

So that's really encouraging and beautiful to hear. Like, hats off to your best friend. Have you— what an amazing friend to have. We all need friends like that. Yeah. Um, what was the time period between you first starting to wean yourself off and then feeling like, yeah, I'm, I'm now— I don't know, is it the word clean? Healed?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 32:20

Sure. Yeah.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 32:22

How long did that take?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 32:23

Yeah, so from— I would say it was probably around the year mark where I knew I was like in the clear kind of thing, right? So like, but so that's, that's a long time too, but at the same time, not a long time, right? Because so considering I was since I was 12 using drugs, but then only just after one year, I was like, okay, I did it. Like, you know, obviously, uh, there was still a lot of things in the sense of like healing and understanding myself and la la la la la, but like the fact that I didn't think that I was going to go back. So yeah, so after about a year, then it was like I felt like I was in the clear in the sense of not gonna fall backwards again. If I— because I changed my entire lifestyle for a while where in the sense of like I couldn't go out. Like I didn't know how to be social without drinking and doing drugs because that's all I did. So I didn't really do much and I canceled— like I didn't go to concerts. I didn't want to go for dinner and drinks. I, you know, I went for ice cream and walks, you know, a movie, you know, kind of thing, which And like, I did spend a lot of time in Costa Rica, actually, during my healing journey, which was just happened to work out that way, which was also like such divine timing for me, because it definitely brought me into a new, you know, environment and all this stuff, but discover who Mandy was, and what Mandy liked to do, that wasn't drinking and cocaine. And so I was scared a little bit to try to go into these atmospheres where there was so much trigger, but And after a year, I'd say that I was like, okay, yeah, I can go back and do those things and be okay and stuff. And yeah, I was. And I mean, nowadays, I don't even love to drink all that much. I have, but it's not— I can go out and do karaoke and dance till 2 in the morning and not have a sip of alcohol. So I really don't need those things anymore or want them because I can I see how beautiful my life is and how life can be and how much fun it is without that stuff. I don't need to hide from my emotions. I don't need to hide from my environment. Like, I want to remember it all and embrace it all and bring it all in. And so it's very, very different for me now, how before that's all I wanted, you know.

Learning who Mandy is

Aveline Clark (Host) · 34:47

So I love hearing you describe how you're experiencing the world now. Versus, you know, I guess for a large chunk of your life from the age of 12 to, you know, all those years later and, um, a couple of decades, I guess. And yeah, it must have been this almost like being born again, like, you know, starting life again, because you're actually feeling and experiencing it in a completely new way.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 35:14

Yeah, I would literally like say, like, I feel like I'm like a child, like I'm like when I first would start, right? I'd be like, I feel like I'm a kid just learning how to be in the world, right? And like, deal— like, feel your energies and the emotions, and I'm experiencing things for the first time in a sense, right? Like, yeah, yeah, that's lovely.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 35:32

It's lovely that you can do that as well with the maturity and the wisdom of an adult too, and then appreciating it for what it is because you didn't have it for so long. Then you have it, then it's like, wow, I actually can be so grateful and appreciative of this, this experience.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 35:51

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And, you know, obviously I still have my stuff. I'm human. I, you know, I go through all the emotions still and like all this stuff, but it's, it's just so— it is, it's beautiful being able to experience life feeling from exactly who you are instead of like enhancing it with something or numbing it with something, you know. And it's like I'm literally just living in my own and taking it in as, as me, you know. So yes, it's great.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 36:23

Um, a couple more questions. First one is, how has that journey, that the addiction journey that you've been on, how has that now shaped or influenced what you're— how you're living your life now, what you're doing?

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 36:40

It shaped it in the sense of like because I did that journey, now I have a mess that can be my message, right? I do believe, obviously, I do believe everything happens for a reason and we're here for a purpose. And as much as maybe I was on that journey for too long, but like something about that, now I did that and now I can share my message with the world and I can hopefully inspire others and show people what is possible. And also for me, like, in this human experience, I personally get to see like, what transformation actually is, you know, like, I was one way for so long. And now I'm a completely other way. And for me to experience both degrees in this human experience is, is, is, is wow to me. And I feel like all of us humans can do that, like, take— like, we don't— I don't think we're here to just suffer and stress and be in anxiety. Like, those are part of, you know, stresses, anxiety, whatever, are part of the human experience, but they don't have to be so multiplied. So it doesn't have to be such the focal point of our life. I just feel like maybe if people can hear my story and see how, like, I took control and took these steps and really started working on myself, like how light and open and enjoyable life can be.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 38:09

Well, I'm certainly getting that sense. Like, I'm energized and inspired from listening to you. I'm like, yeah, I'm so happy for you, and I'm happy to be alive at this point just because of just listening to you speak, right? Because you're reminding me of the joy of life and the choices we have, and that as humans we are incredibly powerful. I think we forget that, and we can take for granted the simple things. And for someone that hasn't been on an addiction journey like yours, you know, I've not had that struggle, and I've listened to you and I think, wow, you know, there's so much to be grateful for, there's so much to experience in the moment, and, um, it's really inspirational. And I love hearing how you've approached it and taken control and been accountable. And I think that's the other piece. As humans, we always have to be accountable to ourselves first. And you learned that and you did that.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 39:08

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I just really feel that humans can be experiencing so much more joy than we are because we're so trapped in here and we're so trapped in our cycles of what we think life should be, you know? And, you know, just doing small things, 5 minutes of meditation. Like, people think of meditation, they think they need to sit there for an hour. No, take 5 minutes. Do a guided one. You don't even have to sit in silence and just breathe, you know? I journal, gratitude journal. Like, I read The Magic, like, over and over and over again, and it literally has changed the way my mind works and can in view situations where like, normally you could get pissed off about something. But if you can just switch that and be like, okay, well, why can I be grateful for this? And I have a real life story just so that people can understand the power of gratitude. So I'm going to share it with you. So I was in a really, really bad car accident. Like, car was totaled, I was a mess. Obviously, I was super scared during it. I was— I cried, there was lots going on, blah, blah, blah. Okay, car accident's over, things are done. And I See people, oh man, that really sucks. Like, now your car's totaled. And like, oh, you got to deal with MPI. And like, oh, you got to go car shopping. And I was like, what? Because my mind went like this. I was so grateful that my brother dropped everything and came to get me. I was so grateful that there was bystanders who called the cops. And so a tow truck came and took my car away. I was so grateful that I had insurance on my car so that I had auto loss abuse and had a car to use. Well, I was like, car shopping, new car, like, wow, like, look at all these things that I have to make this experience more pleasant, pleasant than painful. Where like so many people are focusing all this like, energy on it, where, because I had been practicing gratitude for, you know, years now, I saw the situation from a different place. And my whole experience about everything was so different. And I just— that in that moment, I realized like, wow, gratitude is so powerful because I'm not stressed. I'm having a great time. I can see how lucky I am. And I'm going to like enjoy finding a new car. Where anyone who I had talked to, if they had gone through that experience, they'd be— they'd have stress chemicals and probably not sleeping and like, just feeling aggravated. And I was like, damn, I'm so happy I read that book. Like, So just, it just really solidified to me like how crazy our brains are and if we do have control over changing how we think and then see and experience the world.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 41:50

I love it. Love it so much. Yeah, it's beautiful. Um, my last question to you, Mandy, is if there's someone listening to your story right now who resonates, maybe they've fallen into the drugs or or alcohol, or they can resonate with that numbing, you know, and finding an addiction to numb the pain, or they resonate with anything that you've shared. Is there something you'd like to leave them with?

What she wants people to know

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 42:14

I want them to know that they have the power to change. I want them to start believing in themselves. I want them to, to know that they are worthy and they deserve a life full of beautiful things, and it just takes one small step to like start the journey. And they can choose what that step may be, whether it be looking for a new community, starting the journal, the gratitude journal, listening to the affirmations at night. Do them all if you want, but one small step will start building those blocks to make more steps and more steps and more steps. But I need— I just really need people to know that I believe believe that they deserve to have everything they want from life.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:00

What a way to finish. That's absolute gold. Thank you so much, Mandy.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 43:05

Thank you. You're very welcome. Thank you.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:07

Appreciate your story, your energy showing up, and just giving the gift of your voice and what you're doing just by sharing your story. It's really inspirational, and I know it will help people.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 43:20

Thank you.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 43:21

Thank you. We hope you've enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Please like and share the show to your friends so we can get this out to even more people. If you have a story you'd like to share with us, please reach out using the contact details below. And join us next week for our next hero's story. Until then, keep being you, and remember that we are all heroes in our own unique way.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 43:54

Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 44:03

When it hits you in the middle of the night and the truth burns so bright.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 44:10

Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken.

Aveline Clark (Host) · 44:18

Take pride in those cries.

Mandy Alexis (Guest) · 44:23

It's only for tonight, and then you rise. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken.

Transcending Drug Addiction & Finding Success in Community with Mandy Alexis

Overview

Chapters

Starting young

The functioning addict

The breaking point

Finding community as first step

Understanding what drugs do

Rewiring the mind

Looking back at why a child started

Letting go of the lavish life

Holding herself accountable

The people who stayed

Learning who Mandy is

What she wants people to know

In Mandy Alexis's words

Mandy Alexis, today

Common questions

Is this a true story?

What organisation produced this?

What did Mandy Alexis learn from this experience?

What would Mandy Alexis want listeners to know?

What helped Mandy Alexis most along the way?

What would Mandy Alexis tell someone going through something similar?

Transcript

Starting young

Support

After Africa with Michael Stewart (Part 2 of 2)

Karen Humphries' Unique Journey Through Chronic Illness

Trauma, Loss, and Disruption: What Really Matters in Recovery

What topics does this episode cover?

The functioning addict

Rewiring the mind

Looking back at why a child started

Letting go of the lavish life

Holding herself accountable

The people who stayed

Learning who Mandy is

What she wants people to know