Helen M. Ryan
Only When You're Broken: From a Norwegian Forest to the World
Helen fled Norway at 18 with $1,000 and built a life of agency by choosing to act despite fear.
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Helen M. Ryan
Helen fled Norway at 18 with $1,000 and built a life of agency by choosing to act despite fear.
Hear this story
Follow the show
Helen fled Norway at eighteen with a thousand dollars and no plan. Behind her was a childhood fractured across continents: sexual abuse in her uncle's house, a year in her grandmother's remote forest home where fear was forbidden, then her teenage years caring for a mother spiraling through alcoholism and multiple suicide attempts. By fourteen, Helen was cleaning up blood, calling ambulances alone in the night, working while still at school, buying flowers with her paycheques. She learned early that she could not fix what was broken in her mother. What she could do was leave.
In California, she worked temp jobs to learn new skills, started a graphic design business, raised two kids, and married her roommate. For years she moved through life on autopilot, gaining weight, losing herself. When her father died in 2003, she decided she was not going to wait to die. She started walking, then spin classes, then teaching. She found a version of herself that felt strong. In 2007, after her divorce left her without child support, Helen packed a suitcase with her adult children and they became digital nomads, travelling through Poland, Bosnia, Cambodia, Thailand, and Montenegro. In Auschwitz she stood where genocide happened. In Kotor she found beauty that felt like a fairy tale. Everywhere, she met people who had suffered more than her, who remained kind and grateful anyway.
Now Helen runs her business, teaches, hosts a walking podcast, and measures success not by money but by trying something new. She looks at failures as finding out what does not work. Her message is simple: fear does not have to stop you from doing what needs to be done. She still counts in her head before something scary. One, two, three, go.
“I learned to just face fear and go because you're also not going to get help.”
“What I loved about exercise, just it made me feel strong and it made me feel empowered. It wasn't anything about how I looked. It was just made me feel good inside and more confident in who I was.”
“You realize that these people still, they're still kind, they're still gracious, and they overcome these horrific things.”
The hero, today
Helen learned as a child from her grandmother that fear does not have to stop you from doing what needs to be done, a lesson she still uses when she counts '1, 2, 3, go' before something scary. Helen spent her teenage years as a rescuer, trying to make her mother's life easier by working, paying for her own food and transportation, and later by making her coffee and buying her flowers, without realizing that her mother's problems were not hers to fix. When Helen started spinning and teaching, she did not care about how she looked; what mattered was the feeling of being strong and empowered, which she had lost while raising her children and working through her divorce. Helen measures success not by money but by trying something new, and she looks at failures as finding out what does not work rather than as proof she should not have tried. Traveling to countries that had faced genocide and war showed Helen that people who had suffered far more than her still remained kind and grateful, which changed how she sees her own setbacks.
Yes. Helen M. Ryan is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Helen learned as a child from her grandmother that fear does not have to stop you from doing what needs to be done, a lesson she still uses when she counts '1, 2, 3, go' before something scary.
Helen spent her teenage years as a rescuer, trying to make her mother's life easier by working, paying for her own food and transportation, and later by making her coffee and buying her flowers, without realizing that her mother's problems were not hers to fix.
When Helen started spinning and teaching, she did not care about how she looked; what mattered was the feeling of being strong and empowered, which she had lost while raising her children and working through her divorce.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 00:00
Kintsugi Heroes acknowledges funding and was made possible with support from the Community Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more at cbf.org.au.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 00:18
Welcome to the Kintsugi Heroes podcast, where we share inspirational stories of everyday people going through different challenges and how they overcome them.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 00:28
Please be aware that the story you're about to hear may have moments of deeply felt emotions and personal experiences.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 00:36
If anything you hear has a triggering effect, please reach out to someone who can help keep you safe. If you love this conversation, we'd love you to like and share it with your friends so we can continue to share more inspiration and hope to as many people as possible. Now listen up for our next hero's story.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 01:03
This week we have a special one as Kerry Atherton explores the journey of Helen Ryan, a digital nomad who overcame immense challenges across her life. Helen's story starts with a traumatic childhood, living with an alcoholic mother and experiencing abuse. Her father's absence and her mother's risky behavior led to a turbulent life. At 14, Helen faced her mother's suicide attempt and later navigated life in the US, working at an ice cream shop and a district attorney's office. Despite financial challenges and personal loss, Helen chose to rise above, finding empowerment through exercise and a passion for photography. Listen on for the inspiring journey of resilience and growth with Helen Ryan.
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Helen measures success not by money but by trying something new, and she looks at failures as finding out what does not work rather than as proof she should not have tried.
This conversation includes welcome to kintsugi heroes, sent to norway at seven, a year in the forest with her grandmother, moving in with her mother in oslo, the night her mother tried to die and running away to america at eighteen.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 01:58
Welcome to another episode of Kintsugi Heroes. Today's guest is Helen Ryan. Helen, after fleeing a traumatic childhood and working in the district attorney's office where she saw the worst of life, packed her life up in a suitcase and set out on a quest around the world living as a digital nomad. Welcome, Helen.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 02:19
Oh, thank you. I'm glad to be here. Thanks for having me.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 02:21
Great to see you again. A digital nomad? Oh wow, that sounds exciting. I'd love to be one of them. I'm sure a lot of people wanna know what is a digital nomad?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 02:32
Well, it's someone who travels around the world and works wherever they end up and whatever you can fit in your backpack or suitcase, that's all you can take with you. So you just go from place to place and, and, uh, you know, do work from coffee shops.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 02:46
That's amazing. Now I'm sure you've got some incredible stories about that in itself, but you've, you have an amazing story. You're, you've lived so much life. It's like you've lived 10 lives in your life, isn't it from what you've shared with me. But it, it didn't all start out as fun and adventure. You grew up in a very, very traumatic environment. And can you take us back to how your life began and what led you to getting to the point where you just wanted to free yourself of, of everything and just basically run away?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 03:24
Well, I was born in California in the US, and I lived here until I was about, well, almost 8. But when I was 7, my mom, um, I didn't know at the time, but she had issues with, with, you know, prescription drugs and things like that. So she was born in Norway, so they sent her to Norway and they sent her, um, they sent my sister and I to live with my uncle and a big brood of, of people in his family. And I lived there for about 3 or 4 months. And it was during that time when I actually experienced some sexual abuse. And I was— I turned 8 when I was there. And then from there, then they sent us to Norway to live with my grandmother in a forest, like in the forest, in the little house in the middle of nowhere. And so like, I always joke, you know, you know, people say how they had to walk up ways in the snow both ways, you know, both ways to and from school or uphill in the snow. And that's how I feel like my life was because it was— it was an hour each way to walk to school. And, you know, it was, yeah, dark. Yeah, it was scary. I still get a little nervous in the forest. I don't, you know, because I had to go pick berries, you know, and I couldn't come back until my bucket was full. And so my grandmother was very strict, and in some ways it was, that was also traumatic. But I also think in many ways it made me stronger because she didn't understand fear. She didn't under— I'm not understand, she didn't accept fear. I didn't accept weakness, anxiety, anything like that. So I think that year of of us living there, especially me, helped me, even though it was also, you know, scary and traumatic because I had to pick my own spanking stick when I did something wrong. And there was a lot of discipline.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 05:00
And Helen, where was your dad? Was he not in the picture at all?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 05:04
Well, he stayed in the US. He's— my dad was a very kind-hearted, easygoing soul, but he was not a fighter and he wasn't going to go up against the family. So he stayed in the US and they just, they just said, this is what we're doing. And he didn't, you know, extend the family, and he didn't invite anybody on it.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 05:21
So I, I can identify with your growing up with a mum that's an alcoholic because I did too, and my mum drank till I was 12. So I understand the journey there. So you did go back to live with your mum, didn't you?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 05:38
Yeah, so she got out of— she was in a— I forgot to mention this— so they sent her to like a rehabilitate— not rehabilitation, probably some kind of a, you know, clinic to get better. They called it a nerve clinic back then.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 05:50
Oh, wow. Okay.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 05:52
So then when she got out, she went to the capital and moved to the capital, Oslo. And I elected to go live with her, where my sister elected to stay in the small town where my grandmother lived and move in with a foster family because she wanted to be around her friends. She was 15 or 13, 14 at the time. So she wanted to be with her friends. So I went to live with my mom. I didn't realize that by then. I was, say, maybe 9, and I didn't realize she was an alcoholic. So I remember that first Christmas that my sister and I were— because my sister came up for Christmas, and we were sitting there and my mom was drunk, throwing up upstairs in the bedroom. We were sitting in our robes around a Christmas tree going, okay, well, you know what, this is fun. You know, we were— that was like our first, you know, our first different Christmas where everything was so different.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 06:37
Wow, that, that's sad.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 06:39
Yeah, it was because we didn't know. I mean, we, we had one minute, you know, we're in a family, the next minute, you know, we're just in a whole different experience in a different environment.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 06:49
So how did your mom's alcoholism play out from that point?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 06:54
It got progressively worse and she would have a steady stream of men in and out. Um, she would have some boyfriends like the one that she met while she was in the rehabilitation center, but it was— there was always a steady stream. And she, she held up a job, held her job for the most part, but she would— I would have to call out for her, you know, from work. And it just got to the point when I was 14 is where, you know, things tended to get really bad because she did have some very— she would bring rand— completely random men. She slept with my boss, she slept with taxi drivers, and there, and there would be people coming at all hours of the day. And then they would try to get into my bed and I was, you know, I had to kick them out. Because I just, you know, it was not a safe environment for a child. And then when I was 14, was when she came and woke me up in the middle of the night. And she said, he wants to know if it's true. And I'm like, well, what's true? And I, she brought me into the kitchen with a little smirk on her face. And this, this is like, I don't just want to for trigger warning, if anybody is You know, because I'm going to talk about someone who, who tried to take their own life. So I just want to make sure people—
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 08:03
thank you for that.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 08:04
Yeah. If it, if it may be, skip this part. And so there was blood everywhere because she had tried to slit her wrists and I didn't know what to do because I didn't know first aid. I didn't know anything about like how to stop the bleeding. First thing I did was call emergency services, but they'd already been called 3 times by her and her boyfriend and then me. And I was holding her wrist under the water. I didn't know what to do. There was blood everywhere.. And then they came and they got her and they took her to the hospital. And I was all alone. I didn't know what was happening. It was the middle of the night. And so I closed the door to the kitchen and I just went into my room and eventually I fell asleep. The next morning I woke up and nobody had let me know if she was still alive, let me know anything. So, um, I finally called one of her boyfriends and he said, well, she's over here with me. And, and, but this is all your fault. And then he hung up and I'm like, cuz you know, I didn't know how it could be my fault. But when something happens, you want to blame somebody.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 09:01
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 09:01
So yeah, that I had to clean up all the blood. And I didn't, you know, I was so— I was alone. There was nobody there with me or for me at that time. And I— what are you supposed to do? So yeah, I just cleaned up the blood and I waited until she finally came home. Wow.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 09:15
It's, it's when you have a parent that's an alcoholic, especially a mum, for anybody that's watching out there, you know, that can identify with this, it's very difficult, isn't it? Because as young girls, we essentially take on a mothering role to our mothers, and it really should be the other way around. But it's a very big load to carry, isn't it, being the daughter of an alcoholic?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 09:41
And you become that responsible person, and not just later on in life, you still take on that role where you're always, you're always responsible for everybody, I feel. Um, and yeah, so I, I, I did everything, and I would still, I would I worked while I went to school. I would buy her flowers when I got my paycheck. I would make her coffee every morning. I would just, I tried everything, but when you're a child or a young person, you don't realize that it's not you. And no matter what you do, it's not really gonna make a difference. But I tried the best I could, which is why I always, I think that's where I, I got like my humor from because I'm always trying to make people laugh and lighten the mood because that's how I would do with her.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 10:21
So what were you longing for? Were you longing for her acceptance? Um, were you longing for her to show you some kind of love, or what was it that you were longing for by doing all these things for her?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 10:35
I think I was trying to make her life easier, and that's— I still do that. I still try to make people's lives easier. I haven't been able to, to get overcome that part. But I was just trying to see if I remove these things from her plate, you know, I worked, I paid for my cat food, cat litter, my own food, my own transportation, everything, then she would feel better. But I didn't realize she was also later diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. So that played into it as well.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 11:05
Well, really what you took on was the role of a rescuer, wasn't it?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 11:08
Yeah.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 11:09
And it's hard when you've, that's been ingrained into you and that's, that's becomes the core belief to then in later life to go and just kind of drop that role. You know, it's. Something that I know I learned in counseling to undo that, you know. So what, what did your mom get sober after that, or did she keep using and drinking?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 11:30
Yeah, she never got sober, and she, she tried to take her own life multiple times. Finally, just before I turned 18, I ran away from home. But I, you know, I like to do things big, so I ran away from Norway all the way across the world to the US. And I had $1,000 in my pocket after I bought my, my airline ticket. And I went to live with my aunt for a while in Dallas. And it's, it's interesting because I speak, obviously I speak perfect English, but yet I don't, I didn't have the colloquialisms to, you know, because I grew up in Norway. So one of my first jobs, I go, I got on a tangent here. I worked at Brawm's Ice Cream and Dairy Stores because it was Texas. And then I know for 3 months of living in Dallas, but then, um, so my boss told me one day, y'all go yonder and get some ice cream.. And I'm like, okay, well, where is yonder? And who am I taking with me? She wanted me to go into the freezer and get another big case of ice cream or box. But I'm like, yonder.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 12:26
That was really good, wasn't it?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 12:29
Yawn, y'all. Sometimes people think I was dumb because I had no idea, like, the slang over here. Yeah. Anyway, I digress, as always.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 12:39
And yes. And so please continue with the journey about your mom. So your mom— so you left at 18. Fled for the first time and you had, uh, not much money and you went straight into the district attorney's office as a job, didn't you?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 12:58
Yeah, when I got— I then I came to California, lived with my dad for a while, and the reason why I was working at Brahms is because I needed to learn the American, the American keyboard, because in Norway we have 3 extra letters. So my job in Norway, addition to washing stairs, is I would do transcription So once I learned the difference of the extra keys on the keyboard, then I used to work temp jobs because I loved with temp jobs that I could learn new things and that I could, you know, learn new skills and go to the different jobs and just pick up free training. And so the first day when I was going to work for the DA's office in LA, so the first day when I was, um, I went, so the morning I was going to start at the district attorney's office, I went jogging. So I was running at 5:30 in the morning and I was I was jogging along and I knew to jog opposite traffic, you know, like traffic goes in one direction, I'm jogging the other. And then a car stopped. And this was in 1984 and this was in the San Gabriel Valley in California. So I'll explain why that's important later. So I stopped and I take my— I had my little Walkman with my tape and I take my little earphones off and I put my head in the window of this car and this guy points a shotgun at me and he's like, get in the car, I'll blow your head off. And I was like, I thought he was joking. Yeah, because I'm from Norway. People don't point guns at your head. And I stood up and I just stood up there and then I just put my earphones back on and I just jogged off. And he sat there for at least a minute before he took off because I think he was so shocked that I didn't get in the car. And so I, and I thought he was joking. Yeah.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 14:34
Wow.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 14:35
So I ran back. I told my dad, I said, oh, Dad, this is the funniest thing just happened. Well, he didn't think it was very funny, so he went out. To check to see. And then so that day started at the DA's office, and I saw, because I was typing up statement of facts, and I saw that these things actually did happen. But the reason why I bring that up is because I always wondered later if that was the Night Stalker, Richard Ramirez, because he was killing people in the San Gabriel Valley at that very same time. And I always, I always wonder, like, was that him? Was it just someone else who wanted to kill me? It was, it was Welcome to the US. I'd only been here a total of like just like 4 months.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 15:15
Sorry for the interruption. This is Ian Westmoreland, the founder of Katsuki Heroes, and thank you for listening to this story from one of our amazing heroes. Our mission is for these stories to provide hope and inspiration to people experiencing life challenges and to also educate the broader community on how best to provide If you would like to help us to continue to produce more hero stories and cover more adversity themes, we would welcome all donations. These can be made via our website, kintsugiheroes.com.au. The donate function is at the bottom of the homepage. We'd also welcome any feedback. You can email me direct using ian@kintsugiheroes.com.au. Now let's get back to the story. Yeah, gosh, what a— yeah, what, what a very unnerving welcome to the US. But something we talked about was that you'd kind of have kind of learned through your grandmother, hadn't you, to become fearless. Because of walking at night through the forest and things like that. The fears that many of us, you know, would never have to face, you, you had to face. You had to stare it cold hard in the eyes. And you said you developed a kind of a fearlessness.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 16:42
And I think even now sometimes about just before I do something scary, I'll go 1, 2, 3, go in my head. Not out loud, but I'll do, I'll go 1, 2, 3, go. And I, cuz I remember one time when I was I was visiting a friend of mine up on a hill at my grandmother's, and sometimes my sister would come up and she would come, you know, help me. But, um, and she wasn't there. She was out with her friends. So I remember the pitch black. I had to drive down that hill and put the flashlight in my mouth, and I was like screaming all the way down. Then I crashed into a snowbank. But, you know, you just— I learned to just face fear and go because you're also not going to get help.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 17:14
So Helen, what happened after? I mean, as I said in the intro, working in the district attorney's office there, you would've seen the worst of life and the worst situations. Uh, what, what happened after that? Did you stay in that job very long or?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 17:32
Yeah, it was a temp job, so I only stayed a while. I, I bounced to different jobs, which was really interesting, as I said, cuz I learned new skills, uh, every time. And I, I temped for quite a while, a couple years, and then I just started, I got a roommate. I eventually ended up marrying my roommate. Um, So we were together for about 20 years. And then I started a business in 1993. I started a graphic design business with my now ex-husband. And so, because there were no jobs where we lived.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 18:00
Okay.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 18:00
And then, yeah, 3 years later I had my son, but I was, I used to be a fitness instructor also within the late '80s, early '90s. And then I kind of gave all that up and then I just started eating because the way that I cope with stress and I cope with issues is that I eat. But when I was younger, I would, I would run and you have a metabolism, you have really fast metabolism when you're young. And so I, and I would run, I would work at the gym at 5:30 in the morning. But later as I got older, you know, you start to, you know, you start to gain weight. And so I gained about 90 pounds over the period of having my kids. And then my father passed away in 2007, no, 2003 from aggressive lung cancer. So at that, yeah, he was, he was just such a nice, and he was such a nice guy, very positive and just always happy, even with, even if he had nothing, he was always happy.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 18:52
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 18:53
And so yeah, he was just like a light and people still remember him fondly. And I'm so glad, you know, I got more of his personality and not, not the other personality, you know, so, but yeah, he was, he was great. So he passed away in 2003. And then I thought, you know what, I'm just spending my life like waiting to die. I'm going through my days. I'm not doing anything for me, like not even 10 minutes, no self-care, nothing I enjoy. So I thought, you know, I used to really like to exercise and I used to like teaching. I'm like, I'll probably never teach again, but you know, I'm gonna start walking the kids to school. So I did. I started walking them to school and a little bit later then I got up at 5:30 in the morning before they got up and I did some exercise videos.. And then I started slowly, slowly making little changes to my diet. And in about 3 months, I lost almost 30 pounds just from those little tiny changes. And then I started to feel that fire again. You know what I, what I love, what I loved about exercise, just it made me feel strong and it made me feel empowered. It wasn't anything about how I looked. It was just made me feel good inside and more, more confident in who I was. And then I took my first spin class and I fell in love with spinning and or cycling. And a few months, well, maybe 6 months after that, I started teaching spin. So I got certified and I started teaching spin and then I became a personal trainer on the side in addition to the business. And that was, yeah, I brought my kids with me to the gym to, you know, they sit in the lot, sat there while I taught classes, while I trained clients. But I, I found that fire again. Spinning gave me that fire. Gave it back to me. I lost it. Where'd it go? I don't know.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 20:32
Sounds like you lost it for a long time.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 20:34
Yeah, I did.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 20:36
Did you ever have counseling or therapy to deal with the trauma of the past with your mom's alcoholism?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 20:42
I did. I did go once. I mean, I— not once. I did go to a therapist when I was younger, but it actually wasn't a good fit. And I didn't realize that if it's not a good fit, you just try to find someone else. So I I just gave up on that because I felt that some of the advice I got steered me in the wrong direction, but because she didn't know me. But then again, I never used to talk about my problems because when I— at one point in Norway, they had mandated that I had to go to counseling. When I'm backtracking back to Norway, and then my mom said, well, you can't tell them anything, you can't talk about anything, or they're going to take you away. So I learned when they go to counseling, you don't actually tell them anything.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 21:19
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 21:19
So I Carry that over, you know, and I was a teenager too back then. I was like the Rorschach test. What does that look like? It looks like ink on paper. Looks like ink on paper. I was a little, you know, combative. But anyway, so I did, I did read a lot of self-help books and I really tried to figure out my own behaviors. Like I realized for a long time I was always coming across as a victim. Like, oh, everything happened to me. And then finally I realized I have the chance to change it. I have the power to change inside me. And that's, you know, that's again what spinning and, and starting to teach and everything gave me back that power so I could make my own choices in my life instead of falling back to the script of what happened when I was, you know, growing up.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 22:01
Oh, that's, that's so amazing. So you really became the— from— you went from the victim to the victor.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 22:07
Yeah. And I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't— I always thought I would. I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic, but as an adult now, I could have a little bit of wine or whatever, but I don't like it. So I'm like, I'm not gonna become an alcoholic. I don't like it.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 22:19
So at what point did you decide that you wanted to just get out of here and pack your suitcase and go?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 22:27
Oh, I got divorced in 2007. You know, it was when one person's changing and growing, it's hard to maintain a relationship. And so no, through no fault of his, I just, you know, we wanted, ended up wanting different things. So we ended up getting divorced, but it was hard. I got no child support, no alimony. So we were on food stamps. It was a challenge raising the kids with, you know, with, with no money, but we made it through. And so when my daughter, and I had a roommate, um, and then when my daughter was, my youngest graduated high school and my roommate wanted to move out and I'm like, well, I can't afford to stay in this house on my own. So let's just pack up our, let's just pack up our stuff. You guys just want to travel? And they're like, okay. So we put— we gave a bunch of stuff away. We put the rest of the stuff in storage. And we took off and we started traveling together. And it was because I— they have anxiety. And I felt, you know, getting out there, seeing the world and overcoming these challenges that we would encounter would really help them to grow and get over their anxiety. And it did. They're— I'm so grateful that they came with me, that we got to experience this together. And they got to meet people from all around the world.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 23:37
Who, so, so how old were your children at that time?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 23:41
So my daughter was 18 and my son was 21. Well, he worked with me. Yeah. He, he was a digital nomad too. My daughter went back after 4 months. My son traveled with me. We left in August. He traveled with me until May. And then when he went home, I stayed and then I traveled all around by myself. It was life-changing. Just, I was so great. If any, nothing else happens exciting in my life, I'm so grateful I got that. Because it was the most amazing thing I've ever done. And living in Airbnbs and in apartments and not in hotels and just becoming part of the day-to-day life in different countries.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 24:17
I've traveled a lot, and the memories that you create and gather from that just keep you going for a lifetime, don't they? You know, on down days, I think about my time in Hawaii and look at the photos and just lifts my spirit straight back up. And Helen, who was the person that you— there's, there's probably too many to mention really, but can you remember a person that really touched your life the most when you were traveling, or an experience that, that was really, really life-changing in particular for you?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 24:50
I think the most life-changing was when I went to Poland, because what, what, how I would travel is I would, I would work and make money. I couldn't jump somewhere else until I made enough money to jump. And I was in Norway visiting family, and I'm like, And I used Skyscanner's Everywhere feature and I found that I could go to Krakow, Poland for $29. I'm like, okay, let's do that. So I went to Krakow, Poland and, and, uh, that's when I really saw firsthand what happened during World War II and everything with the Holocaust. And so I actually went to Auschwitz and Birkenau because I'd, I'd seen, I'd learned everything, you know, I, I'd watched Holocaust, I'd read all kinds of books about it, but to be there. In person and see it. Yeah, it was the most life-changing thing. And, and not even just Poland, but, but I went to, um, Cambodia, you know, and— oh yeah, and, uh, Bosnia and all these places where they'd have— they've had so many wars and where there's been all kinds of genocide. And you realize that these people still— they're still kind, they're still gracious, and they overcome these horrific things. And like our little problems, like during lockdown here, we're in COVID. I had COVID. People are like, oh, this is so awful. I'm like, you have Netflix, you have DoorDash, you have Instacart. You're not even— you're getting paid to stay at home. Like, you have no idea what people in history have faced. Like, this is, this is a challenge. This is— oh, poor you. You can lay around and watch TV all day and get paid.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 26:21
I know what you mean though. When you, when you meet somebody that's truly really suffered and yet they're still grateful. My dad was one of those people. It, it changes your life, doesn't it?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 26:33
Whole different perspective.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 26:35
Yeah.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 26:35
I'm so grateful, grateful for that and all my experiences. And Bosnia ended up being one of my favorite countries.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 26:41
Oh, what, what was the most beautiful place that you saw scenery-wise?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 26:46
The most magical place was actually, cuz beauty is hard, like Norway is beautiful. Thailand is beautiful. But the most magical place was Montenegro, Kotor.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 26:57
Right.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 26:58
They had this old town area there, and it looked like a fairy tale. And I would come around the corner and I go, though, this can't be real. Beautiful sunsets. But everything in Kotor was, like, just so adorable and so amazing. Like, this is just, like, something out of an enhanced Disneyland. Oh, wow. Like, with stone— like, the stone walls and the buildings and the little alleyways and the plants because I like to take pictures and just to be able to take pictures of all of those details. It was just, yeah, that was there. But there's so many beautiful places depending on, it's hard to compare because there's nature beauty and then there's architecture beauty. So there's, you know, so I have many different favorites depending on, you know, what I'm looking at.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 27:43
And that's another thing that we haven't mentioned yet, that you're also a photographer. Is there anything that you haven't done?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 27:52
Surgery? Yeah, I did. I did photos. I accidentally stumbled onto rock photo, rock concert photography. So I did that for a while too. Well, I was working for an online magazine in Los Angeles in addition to running my business because I'm always looking for side hustles. I was always looking for ways because if I wasn't busy enough in my business, I had to pick up other ways to make money. And so I was working really for really cheap for a magazine in Los Angeles. But I learned so much. I learned how to write fast. I learned how to research. And I wanted to take my son to a concert for his birthday. I think it was his 12th birthday. I didn't have enough money. So I asked the publisher, do you think I could get tickets to this concert? She goes, sure, if you, if you can find the PR people for the, for the tour and you can get tickets, you can, you can go. So I did. I found out how to, you know, the pair of people I found out how to get in touch. And then I didn't hear back from them after I asked them. And then the day of the concert, they called me and I was like 2 hours away and they're like, okay, well, we got you into the photo pit with a PhotoPass and we got you on the bus for the lead singer of one of the bands.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 29:03
Oh, what?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 29:04
Interview him. And I'm like, so I had no voice recorder. I had no camera to borrow my ex-husband's camera. I took notes. You know, but I did it. And after that, I shot different pictures. KISS was my favorite to shoot, only because there's such a legend.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 29:20
Wow. So did you make them?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 29:23
Not in KISS. I was just in the photo pit. But I love being that close. You're inches from the band. I've shot Linkin Park 3 times, Rise Against, because I like alternative rock. But it was a great way for me to get my kids concert tickets and to show them, show my kids again, like, nothing's impossible. Like if you try.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 29:40
Oh, I just love that so much about you, that you have had a go at everything. And I guess that being fearless has really come into play, because when you've lost your deepest fears and come out the other side, there's nothing to lose, is there, by taking a step? And look where all those steps have led. And you are just such a perfect example of somebody who's come out of adversity but been determined not to let that define your future.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 30:10
I think that I feel fear, but I don't let it stop me. And that's when I went back to teaching my very first class, I thought I was going to throw up. I was so nervous. But once you get on the bike and you get in, you just do it. And what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is you're probably not going to die. So it's all good. And I've been able to then do these amazing things because I'm able to conquer my fear because I want to get experiences in my life. And I'm actually really grateful that, you know, when I was traveling or even when I was doing concert photography, they didn't have a lot of money because we traveled. We didn't have a lot of money. It's expensive to travel. Not, not as expensive as living in California, but, but because that's how I ended up in Bosnia. That's how I ended up in Poland. And I didn't go to Spain, you know, I didn't go to France. I went to the places in the summer because I knew I went to Serbia, I went to Kosovo, you know, all these places. Bulgaria and all through Southeast Asia. And I'm so grateful for that because I got to see a whole nother world.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 31:12
Yeah. Yeah. So what's next for you, Helen?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 31:17
Well, I'm still running my business. Um, I have a walking podcast too that I started during the height of the pandemic. But yeah, so I'm just, I'm working on maybe just right now I'm going actually to Norway in a couple months. To, for extended family thing. And I'm just working on moving my business maybe in a slightly different direction. And eventually, once everybody's out of the house, then I would like to go back to traveling.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 31:44
Oh, that's where— where do you want to go next?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 31:47
The thing is, I always go back now. I go back to the same places, like, because my sister lives in Thailand. I'm like, oh, I miss Thailand. But I have— there's so many places places I haven't been. When you, you look at the entire map, I thought I'd been so many places, and I look at the rest of the world, and I'm like, there's so many places I haven't been. So I don't know where I would go if, if I had, like, maybe the South Pacific. I've never been there. Somewhere completely, you know, Tahiti has always been my dream. Fiji. Oh, yeah.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 32:16
That sounds—
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 32:16
I don't know exactly. Australia.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 32:19
I'd love to.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 32:19
Because that's a whole— I haven't even touched that area of the world.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 32:21
Well, you better come to Australia. As we, as we come to a close now, what message would you love to really get out there to everyone that's listening? From a girl who came from absolute struggle street to a lady who's not afraid to have a go at anything, what message would you love to give us all?
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 32:44
To look at, to try new things and not be afraid of failures. I look at failures as finding out what doesn't work. And failures are part of your journey. Because even though I, I actually created a line of motivational shirts back when I was teaching spin, I created a line of motivational bracelets. They didn't go anywhere. I didn't make much money from it, but I, I learned how to do it. I was— people would come to my class wearing my shirts. People would wear my bracelets. People would post photos with my shirts. And yeah, it was a failure in terms of not making money, but it was an experience and something fun that I got to learn how to do. So I think we need to look at our failures as not, not a bad thing. Failures are a way for you to figure out what works or to experience something different. It also depends how you, you measure failure, but failure to a lot of people means financial success. To me, it, uh, I— success is trying something new, and, and failures are not a bad thing. You have to fail to, to find out what works and to be, to be good at thing.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 33:43
I love that, and you've really inspired me. Um, there's a few things that I've been sitting on, and now I'm just going to get out there and just go for it. And, and I'm sure you've inspired everybody so much who's listening today. So thank you, Helen.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 33:59
Oh, well, thank you. I really appreciate it. And I will come to Australia one day, just you wait. Right.
Helen M. Ryan (Guest) · 34:10
We hope you've enjoyed this episode of Katsugi Heroes. Please like and share the show to your friends so we can get this out to even more people. If you have a story you'd like to share with us, please reach out using the contact details below. And join us next week for our next heroes' story. Until then, keep being you, and remember that we are all heroes in our own unique way.
Kerrie Atherton (Host) · 34:37
Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. When it hits you in the middle of the night and the truth burns so bright. Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. Take pride in those cries, it's only for tonight. And then you rise. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
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