Kintsugi Heroes
Experience the Harsh Realities of Caring for a Loved One with Gary Watson
Gary Watson
A male carer for his wife with muscular dystrophy speaks openly about why caregiving is both brutally hard and deeply enriching.
Kintsugi Studio
Kintsugi Heroes
Gary Watson
A male carer for his wife with muscular dystrophy speaks openly about why caregiving is both brutally hard and deeply enriching.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
Gary Watson became a carer for his wife Deanne when she was diagnosed with limb girdle muscular dystrophy. What started as a progressive change in their life in 2010 has shaped everything since: his career decisions, where they live, how he spends his time. For years, he didn't call himself a carer. It was just what he did, what you do when you love someone and they need you. But that word, carer, turned out to matter. It gave shape to his experience and connected him to millions of other Australians in the same situation.
Gary speaks directly about what male carers face that women don't. He's been called a legend for doing what women do without recognition. He's watched men leave when things got hard, using language like "I didn't sign up for this." He sees that as contemptible. Disability doesn't discriminate by gender, so neither should caring. He's also clear about what carers still aren't getting: adequate mental health support, kinship carers left without funding, money to cover basics. And he's seen carers shut out of hospital rooms, unable to advocate for the person they know best.
But Gary also holds something else true. Two-thirds of carers report positive feelings about their role and stronger relationships as a result. His advice is practical: don't offer help, just do it. Show up with a meal, cut the grass, take them out. For carers themselves, the shift is to ask for help, to let people see you struggling, and to do smaller versions of the things you love instead of nothing at all. You can't change disability, but you can change how you respond to it.
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