Fran Garton · 58 min
After years of debilitating, undiagnosed fibromyalgia that left her crawling on her hands and knees and unable to leave the house, Fran Garton refused the prognosis that she would simply have to live with it, and healed herself completely, body and mind.
Hear this story
For nearly two decades, Fran Garton worked as an adult English language educator, absorbing the mounting stress of a changing school system into her body. The pressure built quietly, nausea, daily headaches, blurred vision, until one winter morning when she walked into her classroom and lost her sight in one eye. What followed was four months in bed with a migraine so severe she wept from the pain, multiple trips to emergency where staff knew her by name, and visits to specialists who threw around diagnoses like brain tumour and MS without answers.
When an ophthalmologist finally named it central serous retinopathy, he told her the real problem was stress. Her brain had checked out. Rest was the only cure. She recovered her vision, returned to teaching and personal training, then developed something far worse: electrical shocks through her hands, feet, arms and legs that lasted eighteen months. A rheumatologist diagnosed fibromyalgia. Doctors offered medication and the grim certainty that this was simply how her life would be now, manage the pain, accept the flares, give up.
Fran refused that prognosis. She found a bioenergetic practitioner who told her the truth: her inflammation was so severe her body couldn't absorb anything or repair itself. Together they rebuilt her from the ground up, changing everything she ate, adding targeted supplements, stopping all exercise. At the same time, she worked with a mindset coach on forgiveness and emotional healing, discovering what she had suppressed for years was literally showing up in her body as pain.
Five years later, Fran lives without pain medication and without flares. She knows what her body needs and what triggers sensitivity. She now helps others find what she found: that healing is possible, that it takes time and real choice, and that you can build a life of strength and function again.
“I lived on a daily basis at about a year and a half at about a 15 out of 10 for pain — that's where I was living.”
“You are a plant with no soil — you're literally just pouring the water in and it's just coming out the bottom of the pot, because there's no soil in there, nothing is being absorbed and you have so much inflammation throughout your body that your body can't do anything with what you're giving it.”
“You have to heal yourself. Until you heal yourself and deal with all of that you can't move forward — you're holding on to something in the past. You can't change the past, so why don't you deal with the effects that it had on you so that you can move forward in your life?”
The hero, today
Your body holds the stress you don't process emotionally, and suppressed feelings eventually show up as pain or illness. Healing requires setting firm boundaries with people around you, even family, and not explaining your choices to gain their approval. The gut is the foundation of physical recovery, and inflammation in your system blocks your body's ability to absorb nutrition and repair itself. Fibromyalgia and chronic pain can be managed and reduced significantly through a combination of dietary changes, rest, emotional healing work, and identifying what actually triggers your symptoms. Change feels uncomfortable and takes time, but if you want something different from where you are now, you have to decide what you want and then say yes when the opportunity to get there arrives.
Yes. Fran Garton is a real person who shared their own story in their own words. Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit that shares first-person stories of overcoming adversity, told with the person's consent.
Kintsugi Heroes, a registered Australian not-for-profit. Every story is shared with the hero's own consent and reviewed under Kintsugi Heroes' trauma-informed content standard before it goes public.
Your body holds the stress you don't process emotionally, and suppressed feelings eventually show up as pain or illness.
Healing requires setting firm boundaries with people around you, even family, and not explaining your choices to gain their approval.
The gut is the foundation of physical recovery, and inflammation in your system blocks your body's ability to absorb nutrition and repair itself.
Fibromyalgia and chronic pain can be managed and reduced significantly through a combination of dietary changes, rest, emotional healing work, and identifying what actually triggers your symptoms.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 00:00
Kintsugi Heroes acknowledges funding and was made possible with support from the Community Broadcasting Foundation. Find out more at cbf.org.au.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 00:16
Welcome to the Kintsugi Heroes podcast, where we share inspirational stories of everyday people going through different challenges and how they overcome them. Please be aware that the story you're about to hear may have moments of deeply felt emotions and personal experiences. If anything you hear has a triggering effect, please reach out to someone who can help keep you safe. If you love this conversation, we'd love you to like and share it with your friends so we can continue to share more inspiration and hope to as many people as possible. Now listen up for our next hero story. My guest today is the incredible Fran Garton. Fran's story is one of overcoming a very serious health challenge. She lived with severe fibromyalgia for many, many years. It was undiagnosed. She had no idea what was wrong. Her story takes us through the journey she went on and the consistency and resilience she used to overcome this, to figure out how to heal herself, because she got to a point where she couldn't even work, she couldn't even go out the door. And there are some of us that go through these debilitating health issues, and it's not very widely talked about. And I love that Fran talked so clearly and openly about this challenge that I know does affect quite a lot of people. And she learned how to heal herself She had to go far and wide, but she found the answers and she finally did heal it. And it wasn't just health, because the health of our bodies impacts our emotional health and our mental health. So she had emotional and trauma issues as well, and she had to heal all of it. This is her story. It's strong, it's powerful, and it's really, really positive. It gives us hope. And I want to thank Fran bringing light to this story, which does affect so many people. Enjoy this story with Fran Garton. Here we are. Hello. It is another episode. I'm here with Fran Garton. Welcome, Fran. Thank you so much for joining me.
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This conversation includes welcome to kintsugi heroes, teaching english, taking on stress, vision loss and the hospital, four months in bed with a migraine, the eye specialist names it and electrical bolts through her body.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 02:36
Thanks for having me. I'm so happy to be here.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 02:39
Likewise. I just want to thank you for spending the time with me. I have no idea what your story is about. I'm very excited. You know, I honor every guest that comes on the show and You know, there's a lot of vulnerability, uh, transparency, and peeling back some stuff, you know, going back there to share these stories. So I just want to acknowledge that, and thanks for being so brave and giving to share your story to the masses, to anybody who is willing to listen. So let's get started, shall we? I am going to hand the mic to you and ask you to take us back to the beginning.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 03:14
All right. So the beginning of my story, I'm sure when you have other guests, it's, it's, it's weird because it never happens in a linear fashion. And it's never beginning, middle, end. We let— we kind of in retrospect, we put it that way, but that's not what happens. So about 12 years ago, I was an adult educator in the classroom, working full time. Teaching English as a second language. I loved it. I had been doing it for a number of years. That was sort of my passion career. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was fantastic. And when you work for somebody else, there's always things that change that you don't have any control over. And I feel sometimes it's very much so the frontline workers, the people who are the first responders, so teachers, healthcare, you know, emergency services, all of that, right? And you, you're based on your job, and what you're supposed to do is often connected to funding and what the funders want and what the government wants and what the school board wants. And so all of these changes were happening in the school system. And basically, we were told, you need to do this. And we were, as teachers, we're like, well, we can't really make that happen, do all these things and and teach and, and we were just told that's what you have to do. So what ended up happening was I ended up taking on a lot of that as stress on myself and on my body. And so slowly what started to develop was I would get nauseous on a daily basis. I had a headache all the time. I had some blurry vision and I was just like, you know, it's fine. It's no big deal. I'll take some Advil. I'll take some Gravol. And plow through the day. And that's basically what I did. And I did it for quite a long time, a good 9 months, I would say, almost the whole school year. And it just kind of got worse, but then it would— it kind of ebbed and flowed. So it would be really bad days and then really okay, manageable, tolerable days. In retrospect, they weren't tolerable at all, but in the moment, you do what you can, right? And so then I went to see an optometrist, and they just said, yeah, you need reading glasses. That's what the blurry vision is. It's no big deal. Okay, fine. So I did that, but things kept going. And I went into work one morning, walked into my classroom, turned on the lights— and this was winter— turned on the lights, and I couldn't see anything. I had lost my vision. Yeah, yeah. And I kind of stood there and, you know, of course, terrified, panicked, you know, all these things going through your mind. Like, what am I going to do? After a couple of minutes, the vision came back in one of my eyes, but it did not come back in the other eye. And at this point, my nausea was really bad. Like, it was— I don't even know how I walked around because it was so bad. It felt like I was on a moving ship. Like, it was that bad. And so I staggered myself, and when I mean staggered, I slid myself along the hallway from my classroom to the other end of the hallway, staggered up 2 flights of stairs. And I remember this so vividly. I was crawling up the stairs on my hands and knees because I couldn't see. I had this massive migraine and I was nauseous. When every time I moved, I would get a wave of nausea. Got up to my manager's office and she's like, oh my God, are you okay? I'm like, nope, I can't see. And she was like, what, what is happening? And I'm like, I'm going home. And she— this is like first thing in the morning, classes haven't started. And she's like, well, but— and I'm like, okay, I'm out. I'm late. Later. Bye. And I left. I like, I left. I drove myself home and I didn't go back. And what ended up, you know, happening that day, I called the optometrist. They said, yes, come in right away. I think that they thought it was a detached retina. And so I went in, they did all their scans and everything. And then the optometrist comes in and she's like, so So you're gonna go to the hospital and we've called them cuz they're waiting for you. And I'm like, okay, what, what? Like, so absolute panic, of course, and, and terror of not knowing what's going on. And I, and I asked, what's going on? What's happening? She's like, I, I, I can't tell you. I, I don't know what's happening. So we're sending you to the hospital. So they send me to the hospital.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 07:48
I go.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 07:49
They give me medication for the pain, for the head, for the migraine, and so the nausea. They do a whole bunch of tests. Then they started, you know, throwing around words like maybe you have a brain tumor, cancer, MS. They had no idea what was going on. And they sent me home because they didn't know. So I went home. I spent 4 months in bed with vision loss and with a migraine. And when I tell this story, and I have told this story many, many times, and when I tell this story, people, I can see sort of in the back of their mind or they just kind of, their brains went like, really, you had a migraine for 4 months? I had a migraine for 4 months. The only time I ever had any relief was when the pain was so intense, I wanted to like, you know when you have an itch and you want to like stick your, like behind your eye or something, you want to stick your finger in and pull your eyeball out? Kind of like that, but with my brain. I want to, like, pull it out and scratch around my head because it was so bad. The only relief I got was when it was that bad and I was crying, like, like weeping and sobbing from the pain. My husband would take me to Emerg and they would give me some Demerol, and they would give it to me directly into my vein in my hand. They didn't put it in a drip, they manually pushed it in. So if you've ever had that, you know, the saline drip, it just slowly brings the medication No, no, no. The dem— the— then when they push it in, like, it hits you like a tidal wave. And I pass out for an hour, 2 hours sometimes. And then I remember waking up and my husband was helping me walk to the car. And then like that, the migraine would come back. Like, instantaneously. Like, the people— the people at the emergency department knew me by my first name. And they thought that I was a drug addict. They actually thought that I was going to try and get medication because I was addicted that badly to it. And they didn't— and finally one of the nurses was like, no, no, like, she's got something going on here. So lots of time in bed. Those 4 months, I remember 3 or 4 events, going to emerg a couple times, taking medication that they gave me for my migraine that I had an allergic reaction to while I was on the phone with my best friend. And she's like, are you here? And I kept passing out.. And they're like, you got to go to emerg because you're allergic to the meds. And, you know, that's kind of it. I don't remember that whole period of time. And I finally got to see an ophthalmologist who is an eye specialist surgeon, right? And I went in to see him. He looked at my scans and he goes, oh, he goes, I know exactly what you have. He goes, you have— and it's called central serous retinopathy, CSR for short. It sounds fancy. So what it is, is the fluid behind the retina. So we have our eyeball and have all the tissue. The tissue, the membrane becomes thin, and when it becomes thin, then the fluid leaks through and the fluid causes the blurry vision. And he said to me, one, it's super common in people that have high stress. It's super common in people who are like Type A personalities who are like very overly productive. And he said, and the thing is, for most people, your brain will correct it for you. So you don't actually know you have it. So when we look at things, right, we see two images and our brain makes it as one. So we look, it looks like I'm seeing one of you, but I am seeing one of you, but it's because my brain made it that way. My brain checked out. It was like, we're not doing this anymore. You're going to have to deal with your stress. And you have to deal with all of this. And the only way to deal with it is to rest and to reduce your stress. There's no way to fix it. If it happens once, it will happen again. Very highly likely that it will. The only way to fix it is to have surgery to repair it, which is about $8,000, not covered by OHIP here, so that's out of pocket. So, you know, I had to kind of deal with that and sort of figure out what I was going to do. So all that happens. I get most of my vision back. I go back to teaching. At that point, I was like, I need to do something, maybe to start thinking about changing my career. So I ended up— because I played roller derby, I was the trainer on my team. So I went and got my personal training certification. And, and that it was only for that. It was not to have it as a business. And then slowly I started getting clients, so I was teaching and training. So then I went down to part-time teaching. So I'm recovered about a year into this, and then I start suffering with massive pain in my hands and my feet and my arms and my legs. And when I talk about it, it was So intense. It felt like bolts of electricity. Like, you know when you see a cartoon character and they stick their finger in the light socket, the electrical socket, and they get that jolt, right? That's what it felt like through all of my hands, feet, legs, everything. And I literally spent almost a year and a half going through that. Nothing would touch the pain at all. And I just suffered like I would cry. I would weep because the pain was so bad. And I stopped doing stuff. Like, I stopped seeing people. I stopped going places because I just couldn't function because it would get— I would go and do something and then I would suffer from it. So what ended up happening was my life ended up being Gravol, as much Advil as I could take in the morning, cry in the shower. Stop, finish crying. Sometimes it was very short, sometimes it was lengthy. Get out of the shower and have to actually convince myself how I was going to get ready for my day. Get dressed, eat breakfast, get myself to work, come home, take more meds, and go to bed. And that's what I did. That's what— that was every day for me. And finally, one day I was skating. I was at practice and we were doing our yearly testing. So we're skating around the track. The pain that I had in my feet was so intense, I actually collapsed on the track and I could not get up. So I literally was lying there sobbing as my teammates are trying not to run into me and jump over me. And I can hear them now even skating by me and, and like coming to stop and see if I'm okay. And I couldn't do anything. I just laid there and cried. And eventually I was able to drag myself off the track over into the corner. And I just sat there and wept because I was like, what? The hell is happening? And how come nobody knows what's going on? And I finally, you know, and I had all the tests, bone scans, densities, MRI, like all the things. They couldn't find anything. So my doctor said, well, let's send you to a rheumatologist and see what's going on. Maybe they can. I get in, I sit down, my husband's with me. Because of the intensity of the pain and even the vision loss, your memory is very affected by it and you don't remember lots of things. Like I remember Conversations I had, I don't even remember having them with people. They're like, don't you recall? No, I don't. Is lots of fog. So see the rheumatologist, he's like, sit down. And then he stand, do all the tests, right? And he's like sort of poking me and he not hard. Like if I'm talking intensity, like 1 out of 10, like really not hard, but it was extremely painful to me. Like I was living. On a daily basis at that point for about a year and a half at about a 15 out of 10 for pain. That's where I was living. It was unreal. And you just cope, like you just do what you have to do to get through your day. Right? And he says to me, oh yeah, he goes, you have fibromyalgia. I'm like, what? He goes, your textbook case, all the trigger points for fibro, like each those places that I'm touching you, those are the pain points for people that have fibro. Okay, great. I felt relief because someone told me what was going on that I've been dealing with for this year and a half, all this pain, right? And, but the thing is, is that it didn't really do anything for me. Like, it didn't actually help. Okay. He gave me meds. They, okay. They, they helped a little bit. So my pain went down for sure. Absolutely. I went to about an 8 out of 10. So 8 from 15 is fantastic. And I sort of felt lost because I knew people that had fibro, so I talked to them. You know, you do research, right? As soon as you find out what you got, you do research. Read all the books, went to the website, all the things. And basically all the things that I found were, one, it sucks. Fibro sucks. Really, really horrible. That's too bad for you. Number two, just take meds and you hope that you get a good combination that works. Number 3, you're just going to have to live with it. And this might be as good as it gets. And worst advice, worst things that I've ever heard, and even people that I know were like, "No, it's just how it is." Yes, flares can last for a week. You can do one thing and you're in bed for a week from it. Yeah, absolutely. That's how your life is going to be. So for a while there, I was like, "Well, that's just how it's going to be." And I took my meds and I did all the things I was supposed to do. And, um, just prepared for flares. So I lived my life with the mindset of when's the next one. This is my system for when the next flare happens. And that's just how I lived my life for years. And then I had this little sebaceous cyst on my wrist, very small, but the pain that came with it was intense. I went to my doctor and he's like, yep, we'll do some scans, see what's going on. He's like, it's just a sub— like, it shouldn't cause you any pain. And I couldn't do anything with that hand. I couldn't lift things up. I couldn't— like, I couldn't even do up my pants. The pain was that bad. He's like, I don't know what's going on. Let's send you to a surgeon, a hand surgeon, hand specialist. Great, awesome. I'm like, yes, I got this appointment, so excited. Go see him. He has all my scans, he has everything. And he looks at me and he says, hmm, he goes, well, that's very interesting. And I'm like, what? And he goes, very interesting. And I said, wow, so, and he's like, well, what you are presenting with doesn't match anything that I see in all of your tests. So none of this should be happening. And I'm like, okay, but it is. And he goes, correct. I understand that, but they don't go together. So whatever you are experiencing, I can see nothing in these scans and in any of these tests that I can help you with. So there's nothing I can do for you. Yeah. Right. And I'm like, oh, you've got to be kidding me. I was so, I was so angry. I'm so mad. And that's the thing. Like you kind of go through the phases, right? You kind of go through, you know, disbelief and terror and all these things. And then you get just angry. Like, you're just like, come on, man. Like you're the specialist. Like, where am I going to go? So at that point I had, um, a mentor in the fitness industry that I was working with from a business perspective. And he, you know, he said to me, you really need to see this colleague of mine. And I'm thinking, okay, because you know, when you have pain and no one can tell you anything, you're willing to do what anybody says. Like, you go see voodoo magic? Yes, whatever, I don't care. So he says, yeah, you gotta go see Jason. So Jason was a bioenergetic practitioner. Does a lot of stuff with organs and energy and gut health and all that kind of stuff. So drove 2 and a half hours to see him. Get there and he's like, so what's going on? And I said, well, I have this, this lump in my wrist. And so it's causing me a lot of pain. And he goes, okay, hold on a second. He goes, so you drove 2.5 hours for me to see me so that you could, so I could do something with this cyst? I'm like, yes, absolutely. Cause I can't do anything. And he says to me, he was like, okay, let's do a few testing this and that. And he says, so. The amount of inflammation that's in your body is through the roof. He goes, your organs are not functioning the way they should. The energy is not moving in your body. You are not able to digest, absorb anything. And I was like, what? And he's like, yeah. He goes, we gotta, like, eliminate things. We gotta start from the ground up. We gotta build back the gut health. We gotta change a whole bunch of things. And I'm like, okay, whatever you say. You're the boss. So we ended up changing all of the food that I ate and we— I took supplements and I was not allowed to exercise at all, right? And I— so I said to him, "You know that I'm a trainer." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." He says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know." I said, "Okay, so how's this going to work?" He goes, "Oh, well, that is not a me problem. That's a you problem." And I'm like, "Jason, come on." So I was like, "What are you talking about?" He goes— I said, "Could I, like, walk?" "No, you can't." I said, "Can I do yoga?" He goes, "No, you can't." I said, "Okay, what am I supposed to do with my clients?" He goes, "Two reps." He goes, "You get to show them twice, two reps, of what you want them to do." So I'm teaching— I got one-on-one clients, I'm teaching fitness classes. He's like, "You get two reps and that's it. My advice to you is pick exercises that they can do, that they already know." and recycle through those for the next 3 to 6 months. And I'm like, really? He's like, yeah. I said, okay, so what can I do? He goes, you can breathe and you can meditate. That's it. He goes, you are— you have so much inflammation that your body can't repair itself. So anytime you do something, you're like, you're starting at negative 1,000 and then you add exercise or whatever. He goes, your body can't recover. He goes, you literally are like a plant that has no soil in it. Because he was talking about water. So this is the interesting thing that I find, and I hope that your listeners take this because, you know, we need to drink water. Absolutely. But if you drink water and then you pee right away, you're not absorbing any of your water. You should be able to drink water like a bottle of water, right? And you should not have to go to the bathroom. For hours. That's how it works. And if you are peeing more regularly, as you're like— because I used to like drink water and go to the bathroom. And he said to me, he goes, I don't know why you're drinking water. I said, well, because I have to. He goes, but you're not absorbing it. You are a plant with no soil. So you're literally just pouring the water in and it's just coming out the bottom of the pot because there's no soil in there. You have nothing that's being absorbed at all. He goes, "Because your gut health is so skewed and you have so much inflammation throughout your body that your body can't do anything with what you're giving it." So even if you give it good food— and that's the interesting thing, too, right? Because when I say this, sometimes people think, "Oh, she ate junk food and processed food." No, like, okay, gluten. I've been gluten-free for 30 years. So some people— so there are lots of foods that cause inflammation in the gut. Gluten is one of them. I don't eat that. Dairy? I don't eat dairy. So I don't eat those things. So, for me, when I talk about this, I know people sometimes think, "Oh, you must have really changed a lot." Well, I didn't actually change a lot because I ate really well. Like, that's the thing. But it was just resetting everything and getting everything working the way that it was supposed to. And so that's kind of the whole story. And with him going through all this with Jason, like, My inflammation's gone. I have zero pain. I live pain-free every day. I don't take any medication at all unless, you know, yeah, if I'm sick or if, yes, I might injure myself or have a headache or something, sure. But I'm not reliant on it. It's not my first thing that I go to all the time because I just don't need it anymore. And it really, you know, working with him really made a big difference. But then in conjunction with that, I worked with mindset coach. And we did a lot of things dealing with, you know, your past and your present and your future and what that looks like. We did a lot of forgiveness work, a lot of forgiveness work. And if you've done it, you know, it sucks. It's worse than fibro. I'm going to say, if anybody's done any forgiveness work in any capacity, it's worse than even having a fibromyalgia diagnosis, like 100%. It's horrible. It's hard. But you got to go through it to get through it, right? Like, that's the key. And so I did a lot of stuff with emotional healing and trauma and all that. And it was a long journey, but it was so rewarding because, you know, when we, when we dive into pain and we dive into, you know, how our body responds to things in our life, you know, like, it's amazing. There's so much research out there. Your emotions show up in your body. Like, they do. And we don't think about that. And I think sometimes we have been— and I'm speaking of myself. You know, you're taught not to talk about your emotions. You're taught, you know, to just— if someone upsets you, "Well, they're not in my life anymore, so it's over." Well, but it's not over because you haven't dealt with what happened between you and that person. Like, why are they no longer in your life? Like, you really need to deal with and feel those emotions with that relationship that has ended. And it might have been a great thing that it ended, but what happened when you were in that relationship with that person— and it doesn't— and I'm not talking romantic, I just mean in general— but you have to deal with all of that emotional stuff. And if you don't actually deal with it— and what I mean by that is go through it, feel it, release it— and then it's over. Because when you can really, you know, talk about something without emotion, now you've dealt with it. Now you've forgiven. Now you've moved on. But we have been sold this idea that, well, just don't talk to that person anymore, or you don't mention their name, or don't see them anymore, and then that solves the problem. Well, it doesn't solve the problem because then you just press it down and you suppress it until one day you lose your vision or something else happens and you have to deal with these things. So that's the story. That's where I am. And now I help people live pain-free.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 26:24
Wow. Brand, what an awesome story. So much in there. When you started working with Jason, what else did he get you to do? So obviously you changed your diet.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 26:34
Yeah. So I worked with Jason, um, very intensely for a 4-month period. Um, I saw him once every month for 4 months. And like I said, it was supplements. I did some liver detoxes. So not fun if you've ever done a liver detox. And not only is it not fun, it's disgusting. And the worst part about it was, you know, people who are in whatever field they're in, you're like, they're like, this is so interesting. When you're trying to do this, you're like, this is not interesting. Anyway, he would say to me, can you take a picture? What now? He goes, you're doing a 4-day liver detox? Yeah. I need pictures. At the end of every day, you need to take a picture and to get whatever you got, whatever came out. I want a picture of that so that we can look. And he sent me back emails. Oh my God, these are amazing photos. Look at all that stuff. And I'm thinking, like, I want to vomit.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 27:23
Like, so this is, this is pictures of what you put in the toilet, right? This is your poo.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 27:28
Oh, not just the toilet, Evelyn. Not just the, no, no, not just floating in there. I had to catch it in a strainer.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 27:34
Oh.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 27:36
Oh yeah, it was, it was good times. Let me tell you, good times. Um, so yeah, yeah. Because he's like, and then the first bit, I remember the first picture I sent him, he emailed me back and he's like, I'm so proud of you for taking that picture and everything's in this drain. He goes, you need to mix it up a little bit so I can get, get another picture so I can see it a little bit better. I'm like, oh God. So anyway, I can laugh about it now. In the moment, it was not funny. It was horrible. But yeah, so did some liver detoxes with them, supplements, changing the food, and, you know, just really trying to reduce stress and really focus on healing the gut. Because, you know, when you think about it, you've spent X number of years, decades, right? Not necessarily eating bad things. So I don't really think there's bad and good, but just eating things that are not right for my system or my gut can't process. So it's going to take longer to heal it, right? So even now, I'm still going through that process of healing that and being mindful of what I eat and how it affects my body because it does affect my body. But the interesting thing is the more— this— when you take those things out of your body that cause pain or inflammation or gut issues, the longer they're out of your system, What happens when you introduce them? Your reaction is immediate, like, and intense. So you're like, "I'm not doing that again. Like, I can't." It's like when I went gluten-free, like, 30 years ago. I used to cheat all the time. And it would be, you know, 6 months, nothing. And then I have, like, a piece of bread. Oh, it was so bad. I was so sick. I was in the bathroom for hours, days, even. And then I'd go longer, then you have a little bit, and then it was worse. So then you— finally, I got to the point where I was like, I can't, I can't anymore. My body can't take it. It's too much. So you do have to kind of get to the point where, you know, you decide enough is enough. Like, it really is enough is enough. And some people honestly never get there because I think— and I talk about this a lot with my clients when I work with them— when you have pain, whatever that looks like for you, or you're dealing with stress or whatever it is, there is a purpose for it and it serves you. And what I mean by that is, let's imagine that I am a mother and I'm doing all these things in my life and I'm taking care of people and doing all the household chores and all the stuff, right? If I have a flare, I can say to my family, like, I have pain, I'm in flare, I got to go to bed. And then my family says, yep, we'll make sure the kids don't bug you, you go lie down, you take whatever break you need, it's all good. So you get a, you get a break. So having the flare gives you a benefit because you get to actually have a timeout. If you don't have a flare, there is no timeout, you just keep motoring through. So that's what I mean by when I saying it serves you. So there is a purpose. So sometimes It's— and that's where that introspection, and that's where that emotional piece and the trauma and stuff comes in. You really need to think about why you are allowing this system to exist. Why are you allowing the pain to continue in your life, for example? Because you get something from it, whether it's you get that timeout. Maybe you grew up in a family that, you know, you were the oldest and you had lots of siblings and you were not you were the one that took care of everybody. So you didn't really have a childhood. Like, you were taking care of your siblings. Maybe you had an unstable, um, you know, relationship with your parents. Maybe they had an unstable relationship, and then you had the effects of that. So you were worrying about all those things. So you didn't get the love, the attention, whatever you needed. So now, as an adult, and later on in your life, you're like, okay, so the way I can get attention is the way I can receive love is the way that I can, right? So you keep doing that because it serves you. And so it's very difficult sometimes to take a step back and go, okay, really? What? How is that working for me? And it is working for you because it allows you to get the things that you need. And when you take that piece away, so if I have fibro and I have a flare, every time I have a flare, I get to go lie in bed and just not do anything. That's a perk, right? I mean, it's a terrible reason that it happened, but that is a perk for me. So why would I eliminate that if I get the thing that I need? And I think we just get into that pattern and we don't think about it. And so then when you start diving into things, you have to really start thinking about, okay, why am I actually doing this? Like, what is— how is it serving me? And it's a hard thing to recognize and own up to the responsibility that, oh, I'm actually choosing to not feel well. Like, I deal with this with clients all the time when they, you know, want to give up gluten or they're having digestive issues and I'm like, "Just give up gluten." And they're like, "Oh my God, I'm going to die." Well, you won't die. Like, you'll be fine. I've been gluten-free for 30 years, believe me. When I started, there was nothing on the market. So it was a beautiful time to go gluten-free because there were no substitutes. Everything tasted like cardboard, if there was anything. So you just didn't eat it. Like, that's just how it was. And so you're like, I just don't have that in my life anymore. Now there's so much more to supplement and to replace that people are like, oh, I could just eat gluten-free, whatever. Yeah, you could, but maybe there's other things in that product that are causing your problems.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 33:14
I love what you were saying just there about, you know, the introspection and asking yourself, you know, why you're allowing yourself to do this, why you're keeping that habit of, you know, doing X, Y, Z. And it really does take a mature person or a mature outlook, you know, of accountability to own up to why we do these things. And until there's a cause and effect, like there's that thing that happens often, like you say, we are just going along blindly living out our habits unconsciously. And so it's a great thing, like you said, that the flare happens or the, the trigger event happens because it gives us that opportunity to actually go, hey, something's not right. It's now up to me to figure out why and how to fix it.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 34:02
Yeah. And it's, it's challenging too because, you know, we, we don't live in isolation. We have families, we have friends, you know, we have partners with kids, all that. And so when I make it, so if I am I'm the person that does the shopping, let's say, if we're talking about food, we'll use that as an example, and I'm changing all the food that we're eating in the house because it's affecting me, then everybody else is like, "Well, I don't want to eat that," blah, blah, blah, right? So then I have to either, A, listen to them complain, or B, I'm making two different meals, right? Like, there— and the thing is, is that you, we need to set the boundary. And the boundary is, We aren't have— like, my house is gluten-free. Like, everything. My shampoo, my cosmetics, my cleaning product. Like, there's gluten in everything. So if you think that you might be gluten intolerant, don't just change what you're eating. Look at the other products in your life because they have gluten because gluten is a binding agent and it bulks things up. So it gives— like, even when I go— like, salad dressing. Gluten is in it. Soups, there's gluten in it because the thickening agent is a thickening agent so they can sell you less real product and put more gluten in it to bulk it up, right? And it's hidden there because, according to FDA and stuff like that, if it's under a certain amount, it does not have to be listed. So as long as it's under that— now the rules are changing a little bit now and they have to put that there might be a gluten cross-contamination and stuff, but that's slow to change. So, you know, when you change things, you're dealing not in isolation. You have other people around you who are going to, you know, complain. And this is where it's so much easier to go, "Okay, fine. Like, fine. I'll just make another meal," or, "Yeah, fine. We'll just have the gluten and I'll just deal with it." But it's not fine for you. It's fine for everybody else. And that's where we need to set the boundary and say, "No, actually, It's not fine and we're not doing that anymore. And because we teach other people what we accept, we teach our kids that if they complain and they say, I don't want to eat that, that you'll make them something else. That's not how I grew up. I don't know about your house, Evelyn, but not in my house. My mother was like, this is what we're having for dinner. I don't want that. She was like, no problem. That was it.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 36:21
Don't eat.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 36:22
And I'm like, fine. You know what? I would begrudgingly have this meal that she made, right? Because she's like, "I'm not making two meals. This is what we're having for dinner. If you don't want it, you're welcome to cook for yourself. Go right ahead. But I'm not making extra stuff because you don't want this. That's just not how it works in our household." But you design, you teach people how they can treat you, what you'll accept, what you'll do, and what your boundaries are. And if you don't have any boundaries, then of course they're going to— of course, why would I eat what you want me to eat when I want to eat this? If I know that you're gonna let me do it, right? It's just like kids cleaning their room. If I don't, if I don't do it, you're gonna do it for me, Evelyn. So why would I do it when I know you're gonna come do it? Because you're just gonna tire of looking at it, right? So I mean, but, and they're very simplistic examples, but they're true. It really is like that. And so when you're trying to make changes in your life, the problems and the things that my clients run into is that, and even for me, You know, like saying no to somebody. No, I'm not doing that. You do not have to explain why you said no. That is nobody's business but yours. But you have to feel confident to go, yeah, I'm not— I can't come to that event. Well, why not? Because I can't. I don't have to explain to anybody why I am or am not doing something. And we have been— I think, again, we've been conditioned to give an explanation. Well, I really would like to come to your party, Aveline, but— no, no. No, but I'd like to come. I can't, unfortunately. I'm not going to make it. Sorry about that. Maybe next time. But we feel this, I don't know, the people pleasing in us, or I don't know, the acceptance or not being judged. There's all different things, right, that we feel we have to give an explanation. And that's what we do. And so when we're trying to make these changes in our life and deal with all these things that are coming up, we can't because we're worried about everybody else. And the truth of the matter is that people will either like you or not. They will accept you or they won't. And it doesn't really matter what you do because even this, this episode, people will listen to this and some people will be like, oh my God, the best time I ever spent listening to Fran. She's so smart. Evelyn asked these great questions. So helpful. And there'll be other people who listen and go, oh my God, I can't believe I wasted my time. I can't believe it. So all I can do personally is give the best that I can when I come, right? I give the best to your audience and your listeners, and hopefully it resonates and somebody takes something away with them. But I can't worry about whether they're going to like me or not because I'm confident that I'm coming into this with the intention of sharing and helping. And hopefully it does. And for some people it will, and for other people it will not. And that's not about me. That's about them. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way. I mean, maybe on their journey, they're not ready to hear what I'm saying because they're not there yet. And that's the thing, right? When you feel the need to people-please or not set your boundaries or not say no or whatever it is, it's not about you, right? And what other people are going to think. It's about where they are. It has nothing to do with you. It's— that's them. You can't make everybody happy. You can't please everybody. So make the best decisions for you so you can be happy and healthy and you can thrive and all of that. Don't worry about everybody else because they're not worrying about you, right? Like, they're not— they're not making— you know what I mean? You need to take care of yourself and the people around you and make sure you're all doing well.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 40:02
Sorry for the interruption.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 40:04
This is Ian Westmoreland, the founder of Katsuki Heroes, and thank you for listening to this story from one of our amazing heroes.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 40:11
Our mission is for these stories to provide hope and inspiration to people experiencing life challenges and to also educate the broader community on how best to provide support. If you would like to help us to continue to produce more hero stories and cover more adversity themes, we would welcome all donations. These can be made via our website, kintsugiheroes.com.au. The donate function is at the bottom of the home page. We'd also welcome any feedback. You can email me direct using ian@kintsugiheroes.com.au.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 40:48
Now let's get back to the story.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 40:55
Makes perfect sense to me, Fran. And I think for the people that are listening to that, even if you haven't got, you know, pain in your life, even if you don't have a similar diagnosis to what Fran had, just rewind the last few minutes and listen to what Fran just said, because that is applicable to anybody in life. It is kind of like it's self-respect 101 and being able to create healthy boundaries and relational boundaries for every— everything in life, in the way we relate to others, in, in our home, in our work, and everything. So such gold. Was really, really powerful, Fran. Thank you. Um, I want to take you back to when you were healing with Jason. Who did he give you the advice to go and heal the emotions, or was that something that you did on your own?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 41:45
Um, it was Interesting question. So he recommended it, uh, for sure. But I had been kind of thinking there are other things going on. Because I like to read. So, you know, people are like, oh, you should read this book. You should read this. And so I, so I read, um, I was reading, uh, uh, Supernatural by, um, Dr. Joe Dispenza. And so he does a lot of things with energy and the brain and the patterns and how it affects the body and all that stuff. Right. And so I was like, hmm, that's kind of interesting. And then I read a couple other things here and there and, and not like nothing super deep. But if you listen to anybody who talks about self-development in any capacity, and I know sometimes when people hear that, as soon as they hear that, they shut, they're like, I'm out, they close their ears, but they all say the same thing. And it doesn't matter who you listen to, Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins, Brené Brown, it doesn't matter who it is that you're listening to. You have to heal yourself. And until you heal yourself and deal with all of that, you can't move forward. You're holding on to something in the past that is like, you can't change the past. So why don't you deal with the effects that it had on you so that you can move forward in your life? And so I had been kind of sort of, it was sort of trickling in because I think sometimes when you're, no, I don't think, I know for sure. When you start to dive into things and you start on a particular path, the universe and your subconscious mind go, oh, she ready now, let's give it to her. And then all of a sudden, bam, bam, and you end up meeting all these people and it just aligns properly. And you end up, you know, finding that book that you like, go, oh, I've been looking for this forever, I never knew this existed. And then all of a sudden Oh, I know, I know, you know, Google is in my life and Alexa and all that. They're all in the background and they're like, here, read this. And then it goes, right? So it just kind of happened sort of organically in a way, because I was ready for it, right? That's the piece. I was ready for it. And I thought about this in the past. Sure, I had. Did I do anything about it? Nah. Because I also think that when you're ready for it— and I don't know who said this, Confucian, Laozi, I don't know who it was— when you're— when the student's ready, the teacher will appear, right? That's what happens. And so it, it just so happened that I then met this mindset coach that I was working with. She was amazing. Worked with Brenda for a little bit, then I met Noel, and I did some stuff with him. And so it just kind of— things just kind of started aligning themselves. And so, yeah, it was kind of in my mind, but he's like, you need to do some emotional work. Okay, well, you know what, I had tried everything else. That's the other thing, right? Did the meds, saw the doctors, had all the tests, did all the things. Like, honestly, I've said this, I think, on every single podcast that I've been on, so I'm not gonna end my streak now. If somebody said to me, "Go sacrifice a chicken and dance naked under the moonlight and this will solve your problems," I'm in. Like, I'm not advocating sacrificing chickens or dancing naked under the moonlight. If you like it, do it. But I'm just saying, when you're in the point where— when you're at the point where, like, I don't know what to do, and I don't know how that this is going to change or how I'm going to fix it. You're willing to do anything. And I think that if you're listening to this and you're nodding your head and you're going, yeah, I kind of am, then you're ready. Like, you're ready to do whatever it is that someone's going to tell you to do. Is it going to work? Maybe, maybe not. But what's the worst that could happen? You can't get worse than you are. Like, I was living at 15 out of 10. In pain. Like, I don't know how I was walking around because now when I have like a little— like, I hurt my foot, uh, on the weekend. Nothing major, it was very minor. I dropped something on it. I was sitting on the couch yesterday and I said to my husband, can you get me something to drink? And he's like— and he had cats on his lap, we have cats, so he had cats on his lap— and he's like, I was going to ask you to go to the kitchen. I'm like, I'm gonna pull my sore foot card. He's like, what? I said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say my foot's really sore. I can't get up. He's like, is it? I'm like, well, yeah, we'll say yeah. He's like, fine, I'll go. But I was like, I'm gonna pull that card right now because I'm just feeling lazy. I don't want to get up. And he, you know, like, you got to kind of be light with it and play around. But you know, there are moments where you're like, kind of, you know, I'm gonna use it. And I wasn't— was I in pain? No, it's like a 2. Like a 2. Nothing. But compared to, like, I don't know how I live. I don't know how I did anything at 50. But you do. Everybody— there are people that do all the time. I have lots of clients that are in so much pain and I'm like, just— there are so many things you can do that really, really help and just do one. You don't have to do all of them. Just pick one thing. But people resist. They don't want change. They don't like change, which I don't understand because our whole entire universe is designed around change. Like I look at my flowers in the morning and by midday they've grown 2 inches. Like, because the sun has allowed them, like, I don't, everything has changed, but we really resisted hard. Um, because it can be uncomfortable.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 47:03
So true. Tell me, Fran, now here you are. Is it, how many years has it been since you really healed and you became pain-free?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 47:14
5 years.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 47:15
And how's life now?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 47:17
Life's great. Life is great. Like, it really is. And I mean, we all have bad days and I have a flare every once in a while, but I know— but the thing is, I know what causes it. That's the thing, right? So I know sugar is— see, like, that's a thing. So if you're listening to this and you're like, "I can't do all these," just give up sugar. Just give up sugar. That's my one piece of advice. Sugar causes the fascia, all the connective tissue in your body, to be sticky like Velcro. So when you actually try and move your muscles, it pulls because it has no flexibility and it causes pain. So if you gave up sugar, I promise you, if you gave up sugar for just a week, the pain and your inflammation would go down so much that you would actually notice the change. You wouldn't want to go back. So Yeah, it's about 5 years and now I'm just like, everything's great. I mean, yeah, we all have bad days, but I don't have pain. I don't have pain. Not like I did.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 48:14
How has it impacted, um, your relationship? Obviously your husband went through all of that with you, saw you daily. I mean, I've got, I'm thinking about it from his perspective, like living with that, it must've just been heart-wrenching as well. How has, how has that been for him?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 48:30
Yeah, it's been, it's been hard. It's been a challenge, right? It definitely challenged our marriage. Um, we are very supportive of each other and, um, we're there for each other regardless of what happens. I mean, I'm very lucky. Um, he's lucky too. We have a good, we have a good marriage. Um, but yeah, it was hard for him because he just, he was existing too. Like he was just kind of going from one thing to the next and not really knowing what's going on. And I think feeling really helpless too, because when you when you love somebody and you want to be there for them and to support them, you don't know what to do to support them. Like, at the height of fibro, if you don't understand fibro, like, fibromyalgia is basically heightened receptors in the body to any external stimuli. So light, heat, touch, temperature, like, anything, sound. So, like, for me to go outside on a cloudy day is very hard for my eyes. It's very bright. And other people, like, I'll wear sunglasses and people are like, what is happening right now? Because there's just no sun, but I'm very sensitive to light and sounds. And so when you want to help somebody, but you don't know how to help them, like there were times where I'm like, I can't wear clothes because it hurts my body. And unless you've actually experienced that, you don't understand, like, how do clothes hurt?
Fran Garton (Guest) · 49:50
Well, they're scratchy.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 49:52
How are they scratch— like, it's like fleece. Yes, I know, but it's itchy. It— I can't. And it hurt. The weight of the fleece on my body hurts my muscles. And that's what it's like. So whenever you are dealing with someone that has fibro or has some chronic pain and inflammation, everything is heightened for them. And so the tiniest little thing that you don't even think about is intense for them, which could then cause them to have a flare. So he's totally, he was totally helpless because he didn't know what to do. We didn't know what was going on for a long time. And then even when we had the diagnosis, we just didn't really know what, how to function because it, because I was in that cycle, right? I was still in the pain cycle. I hadn't come out of it yet. So we didn't really know what to do. So the intensity could go from, you know, okay, to like super, super intense and then back down again. And that could fluctuate very quickly. And so he was very, I think, very helpless. And of course, worried and stressed about it because we didn't know what was going on, right? But, you know, we've come out the other side and we're— we have a good relationship. It takes time though, right? Because you're a different person because then when you get a diagnosis, I think sometimes that becomes your identity. And I did a podcast once with somebody who also has fibromyalgia and she said to me, so are you, are you in remission? And I was like, what? She goes, because I'm, I am in fibromyalgia remission. And I was like, well, that is an interesting thought. She goes, well, do you have it? I go, I guess. She goes, do you? And I'm like, I don't know. Do I? And it got, it actually was only like a couple of months ago. And I've thought about it since she said it. She goes, yeah, yeah. Because if you're not suffering with the pain and the flares like you did before, are you not in remission? And I'm like, maybe I am in remission. Right? Because I'm not— I'm not— it doesn't affect me the way that it did before because I've changed and healed so much that now it's not the same. So do I have it? Well, maybe, but it's not the way that it was. And so as an identity, yes, I say I'm a fibro warrior. And the reason is because, yes, I do have this diagnosis, but I want other people to learn that they can be strong and that they can overcome it. It takes time, it takes effort, but you can overcome it if you truly want to. And that's the other piece, right? Where do you want to be? I ask my clients this all the time. If where you are today and everything in your life today remains the way that— this way forever moving forward, are you fine with that? Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Is that good? And if your answer's yes, you don't have to do any other work. You can stay where you are. But if your answer is no, then you have to really start to question, okay, what are the things I need to change? And you do have to be ready for that. But yeah, any kind of diagnosis really challenges a relationship. It really does show, I think, the strength of our relationship. It really speaks to that because we were— did we have trouble? Oh, absolutely. It affected everything. Like, it affected our intimate intimacy and everything. And It's very difficult to have a physical relationship when you have physical pain. But you build back from that. And you know, that's what you want to do, right? That again, it comes down to what is the choice that you're making. And if you're in it, you're in it for life. That's my perspective on marriage. You're just in it for life. You figure stuff out. And sometimes it's really crappy and messy. And there were tears and there were fights and there were— yep. Absolutely. But we're here now and we're good and everything's great.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 53:32
Oh, just, just love this, Pam. Thank you for sharing all of that. And now obviously you help others. So you've transitioned from being the personal trainer, roller derby coach into helping others to heal what you went through.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 53:48
Exactly.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 53:49
Yeah.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 53:49
It's, it's hard, you know, and it takes time. That's the, The one thing that I would say, and I say it to everybody, it takes time. It didn't take you 5 minutes to get where you are. It's not going to take you 5 minutes to get out of it. Like, it's just not possible, right? And you do really need to decide what you want, how you want your life to be. I don't want to be this 50-year-old woman who can't do anything because I have so much pain. Like, that's not who I want to be. I don't want to be— like, I see these older— like, I teach fitness classes and I work with a lot of seniors.. And I see these people who are like 80 years old and I'm thinking, "Oh my God, like, I want to be you when I'm 80 years old." Like, I don't want to be that guy over there that can't walk, breaking a hip. I want to be these people who are coming to fitness classes 5 days a week because I have clients that are like 35 and they train once a week. I got people who are 75 who come 5 days a week to see me to take a fitness class. I want to be those people. I don't want to be the other people. So, I want to be strong. I want to be mobile. I want to be healthy. And that doesn't mean skinny and it doesn't mean, you know, being able to lift things and do crazy things. It's about my body functioning the way that it should. And so, yeah, it takes time, but it can be done.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 55:05
And it's just, it starts with choice and being responsible and accountable. That's what I got from this right back from before what you said. In closing. If there's someone listening to this who is living with pain or can relate to any part of your story, whether it's fibro or some other diagnosis, what would you like to say to them now?
Aveline Clark (Host) · 55:27
You can change your life. That's it. You can change your life, and you need to find the person or the people who can help you do that, whether it's me, maybe Evelyn, maybe she knows people. I don't know. Ask friend, call a friend, ask somebody. You know, like I said earlier, the universe aligns things for you. So when you're ready, ask for it and it will come. And then when it comes, make sure— this is the key about the universe, because she doesn't like to be ignored— make sure that when the stuff comes and that person or that thing comes, you say yes. Because if you don't, the universe is going to go, oh, She didn't really mean it. She didn't really want that thing. I'm not giving it to the— I'm not going to provide it again the next time they ask. So ask for what you want and it will come.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 56:20
Brilliant. Thank you, Fran. Wonderful words of wisdom, great advice. And I love your story. And thank you so much for sharing your strength, tenacity, and courage and determination to get through. And how you're now helping others. It's been absolutely wonderful. Really appreciate it.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 56:40
Thanks.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 56:45
We hope you've enjoyed this episode of Katsugi Heroes. Please like and share the show to your friends so we can get this out to even more people. If you have a story you'd like to share with us, please reach out using the contact details below and join us Join us next week for our next hero's story. Until then, keep being you, and remember that we are all heroes in our own unique way.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 57:12
Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. When it hits you in the middle of the night.
Fran Garton (Guest) · 57:24
And the truth burns so bright.
Aveline Clark (Host) · 57:29
Only when it's broken. Only when it's broken. Take pride in those cries. It's only for tonight. And then you rise. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken. Only when you're broken.
You don't have to be in crisis to call.
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